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Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 12:19:02 AM   
subpaula84


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/29/2009
Status: offline 		Hello everyone.  I am new here and already have a question.  If anyone can direct me to the answer, that would be great.  What is a smart way to prove that you are a woman if you are a sub who can't/won't give out your pic or cell number online?  Is there some other obvious choice here that I'm missing? 

Thanks in advance for any help.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 5:28:57 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		You could do a naked cam without your face showing.  

(in reply to subpaula84)
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RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 5:31:20 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Having a cam you could show yourself, but they could take a picture from that.  Having a cell phone that cannot readily be traced to your home or personal information could be helpful or blocking your number.  But if you are that afraid of someone finding out who you are and such, you might have to forget doing the cyber connection thing.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to subpaula84)
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RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 5:35:54 AM   
crumbledwater


Posts: 27
Joined: 2/16/2009
Status: offline 		You could always meet the person in question, but well, then they'd be able to hear your voice, see your face and possibly take their own snapshots.. there is NO way of proving that you're female unless you talk on the telephone, send photos or webcam.

I have no photograph on my profile however if I've exchanged a few messages with someone, and they seem genuine, then I'm happy to exchange fully clothed photographs or have a webcam chat, via the chat facility here on CM. I would never expect a Dom to prove that he's male if I wasn't prepared to prove that I, myself, am female. Would you expect a Dom to prove that he's male?

(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 5:47:24 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You don't have to prove anything. If they aren't willing to meet you for coffee without absolute proof, then just move on.

If you're compatible in email, move up to chatting. Then cell phones, then a coffee date. If they're local and you want to take a chance, offer to meet them quicker. There are people who have met the day after they connected, because what's the big deal about stopping by Starbucks at 5:00?

Just remind them that having a picture doesn't prove anything, lots of people use 10 year old pics, or pics of other people. If they are so suspicious that they can't meet for a quick coffee, you don't want to be with them.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 5:54:13 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

What she said.

The simple story is that some Dom asked you for your phone number and pic (presumably nekkid) before you wanted to give them out.  You're new, so hesitant.  If he pushed you to do this after five minutes of chat, dump him.  If this happened after six months of chat, you have a problem.

There are a lot of wankers who call themselves Doms to make women do things.  A real Dom would value the relationship and make sure you were comfortable.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 6:02:24 AM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline 		If a dominant male refused to offer up a picture or have a phone chat he'd be drawn and quartered in these very forums. I hope I live long enough to see the rules apply unilaterally across the board but I am not holding my breath.

To answer your question you really can't prove anything without a pic or a phone chat and even those two things don't prove anything. Only a face to face meeting can provide proof. I'd meet someone for coffee without the benefit of a pic from them or a phone chat with them prior if they had a valid reason for avoiding such. I'd ask for a detailed physical description so that I could identify them when we met and it better be fairly accurate.

(in reply to subpaula84)
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RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 6:08:49 AM   
strangedesire


Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline 		You can't prove anything, really, unless you're willing to meet people in person.  (I see from your profile that you're looking for online only.)  Just about anything short of a face-to-face meeting can be faked. 

Voice chat might not be a bad idea, though.  I prefer to speak on a real phone and block my number if I feel that I need to, but with a $10 headset and some yahoo chat software you can have a real-time voice conversation without giving out your number. 


_____________________________

On that other site as Exegesis.

(in reply to subpaula84)
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RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 6:09:39 AM   
berrysurprise


Posts: 75
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		follow your instincts.... i think the idea of being viewed on cam (without your face showing) is probably the best bet... However it is you who is here in search of a Dom and there are many risks that you will face if you do not keep yourself as safe as possible... you really need to decide if it is worthwhile for you personally to be taking that risk yet... 

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 6:24:08 AM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline 		If you two are interested in online only, what does it really matter if you are actually a woman or not?  This always makes me wonder.  Unless you expect that you are eventually going to meet,  a fake woman (or man, for that matter) is the same as a real one. 

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to strangedesire)
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RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 6:54:43 AM   
BeIgnited


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline 		Yahoo Instant Messenger and Skype are both free (you can download them on the intertubes) and have voice chat options that don't reveal phone numbers. On skype for a very small amount of money you can even call someone on their phone.

(in reply to YoursMistress)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 7:11:08 AM   
Interesdom


Posts: 197
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
Status: offline 		If you will never meet the person, never talk to them on the phone and never meet them, why should they worry?

If you appear to be female, text like a female, have feminine opinions, then anyone wanting to interact with you as a female by text only should be happy.

Anyway, there are only two non-conclusive indications that you are not a female (do not bother asking what).

To those who think that you can tell by voice, I'd love to show you software that I've used - it is very easy to make your voice change gender!


(in reply to subpaula84)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 7:21:55 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		Don't bother with people who get totally hung up on whether you are a real woman or not, they are a waste of time...if they are so insecure and cagey they will not make for good play...people with  imagination soon sus out what sex they are conversing with if they are bothered at all

< Message edited by ranja -- 4/30/2009 7:29:17 AM >

(in reply to subpaula84)
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RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 12:01:35 PM   
subpaula84


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/29/2009
Status: offline 		Thanks so much to everyone for their responses.  I suppose that, for me, YourMistress hit the nail on the head.  I couldn't care less if it was a man, a woman, or the expedia gnome on the other side.  As long as they can make me believe they're a dominant man, I am ok.  But I can understand people's reservations.  Oh well, I'll have to deal with it as it comes.

(in reply to subpaula84)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 3:22:16 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		You meet them face to face? That usually proves it pretty quickly.

Personally for me when men would not believe me online because I wouldn't just give my personal info to a total stranger, I would just move on. They really weren't worth my time and I had no desire to be with someone who was so paranoid and jaded about something as simple as online talking.


(in reply to subpaula84)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Hello (with a newbie question) - 4/30/2009 4:28:46 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		If someone doesn't believe me that I'm female, I assure them that I am. Here. On CM email. If that's not enough for them (it hardly ever is, for this type of person) it tells me that the person is suspicious and paranoid, has a problem with trust, or however you want to put it. Basically it tells me that this person isn't right for me even as an online only friend. Because I don't give out my pic, and I don't do realtime, even just on the phone, with my CM friends. Its all over my profile that this is all you get, of me. So if you can't trust me here, without pics, etc.- then you just won't be able to trust me.

So I offer a sentence or two of reassurance to such a person, which almost always isn't enough to quell their uneasiness no matter what I say, and then we move on.

I hardly ever have this problem, thank goodness. Most people take me at my word.

Some kind of trust must be advanced to begin with, in order for the rest to be earned. If someone is unable to advance me some very basic trust to begin with, I will have nothing to build on. So I just don't waste my time with such people. Their trust issues are not my problem. Ultimately there is nothing we can say or do, to make people trust us if they don't want to. So, I park their problem right back in their lap where it belongs.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to subpaula84)
Profile   Post #: 16
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