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RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 6:38:02 AM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline 		On top of that, the guy's 19 years old.  That means that scene events have only legally been an option for the past year.

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 6:44:13 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

On top of that, the guy's 19 years old.  That means that scene events have only legally been an option for the past year.


Hello there Apocalypso!  It sure isn't easy for someone of that age.  Be worse if he were stateside mind.
 
the.dark.
(.wholikesApocsprofileandthepicturerocks.)

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Apocalypso)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 8:19:45 AM   
DomArtist1


Posts: 10
Joined: 4/30/2009
Status: offline 		Hey, just thought I'd throw in my two cents. The munches are a great idea. There typically just social events with no actual play, so you get the chance to meet others from the community and work on your real life experiences without the pressure of having to commit to anything. If you already chatting with someone about meeting in "real-life", have them meet you at one.

For a newbie, jumping right into a play party can be a bit intimidating and actually put you a few steps back. It's like a virgin going to an orgy. Too much, too soon. 

When you finally do get some real world experience, make sure you know what you’re doing or someone could seriously get hurt. Start off light and work your way from there.

At least that's how I got my start, or course back then online play wasn't done much.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 9:21:12 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'm going to agree with those that said "get out there and meet the people in your area"  There are alot of groups and if there is not one in your city there probably is one in a city near by.

There are alot of groups that hold workshops, casual munches, large events, etc etc etc.

Because of your age, I would also see of they have a "youg group" I know the city I'm involved in has an 35 and under group and some of the newer, younger people find it much easier to start off meeting with them then with the older guys lol


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I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to DomArtist1)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 9:30:20 AM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha
Because of your age, I would also see of they have a "youg group" I know the city I'm involved in has an 35 and under group and some of the newer, younger people find it much easier to start off meeting with them then with the older guys lol
Birmingham definitely have a good sized and active U35 group, which is within travelling distance of the OP.


_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 9:41:52 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Go for it. Have a good time.

(in reply to Azkahnan)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 9:44:57 AM   
tiinkerbell


Posts: 96
Status: offline
quote:

For a newbie, jumping right into a play party can be a bit intimidating and actually put you a few steps back. It's like a virgin going to an orgy. Too much, too soon. 

Wise words indeed  I did that; the result was not pretty
 
Allison

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Allison

- Some People walk in the rain; others just get wet -
Roger Miller

(in reply to DomArtist1)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 9:49:27 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not sure which is worse, discovering D/s online or realtime first.

I started real time at 16, had no idea how to meet other like minded people after my Dom and I parted ways, and thought I was a freak all alone. I didn't discouver online until I was 25. I had only known of 2 people into d/s at that time.

Atleast online you can get some ideas and talk to people and not feel alone, but then you need to take that scary step out from behind the computer and into the scene.

But real time is sooo much better then online, it's worth the butterflies and nervousness, to get out there and say hi to another kinster face to face.  LOL kinda like starting a new job or a new school, nerve racking but in a couple weeks it feels like you were always there.

< Message edited by akisha -- 5/1/2009 9:50:26 AM >

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to tiinkerbell)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 9:54:30 AM   
tiinkerbell


Posts: 96
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

I'm not sure which is worse, discovering D/s online or realtime first.

I started real time at 16, had no idea how to meet other like minded people after my Dom and I parted ways, and thought I was a freak all alone. I didn't discouver online until I was 25. I had only known of 2 people into d/s at that time.

Atleast online you can get some ideas and talk to people and not feel alone, but then you need to take that scary step out from behind the computer and into the scene.

But ral time is sooo much better then online, it's worth the butterflies and nervousness, to get out there and say hi to another kinster face to face.  LOL kinda like starting a new job or a new school, nerve racking but in a couple weeks it feels like you were always there.

My experience is sort of like that. I started dating my ex when I was a freshman in highschool. Ours, at first, was mainly only the dynamic. When we started to express an intrest in the play aspects; like a fool, I went for needle play. It was a huge mistake. I was too young, too inexperienced, and too insecure to handle the emotions that came with it. It was total disaster.
 
Now, I use online only to help gather answers and such; I have to admit, that I have learned a bit since I doubled back and decided to go a bit slower this time.
 
It's a shame that it took a bad experience to show me that slower is better
 
Allison

_____________________________

Allison

- Some People walk in the rain; others just get wet -
Roger Miller

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 10:04:09 AM   
Scheherazade


Posts: 41
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySweetOrSour

Well, if the most valid comment you got from all the advice given by the good folk of CM was change your picture, I guess any response to your question is a bit superfluous.

Good grief give the man a break and try to ease up on the posturing.  Considering how important people view images, he made a totally valid observation that someone recommended he change it.
 
the.dark.

Darcy has it. A profile, whether we like it or not...is an adverisement. I have always felt that a dominant man and certainly a master should not need to 'pimp-out' a profile as some contribution to 'Kink Illustrated' but should (online) command attention with his words. BUT, the more you have and can show in pics that's hot, sexy, kinky ad exciting...the better they know.

Do not fawn, chase, stalk or once there...cling. You are in buddhist tranquility...a disarming, charming plunderer. Go get 'em.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 10:07:31 AM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Scheherazade

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySweetOrSour

Well, if the most valid comment you got from all the advice given by the good folk of CM was change your picture, I guess any response to your question is a bit superfluous.

Good grief give the man a break and try to ease up on the posturing.  Considering how important people view images, he made a totally valid observation that someone recommended he change it.
 
the.dark.

Darcy has it. A profile, whether we like it or not...is an adverisement. I have always felt that a dominant man and certainly a master should not need to 'pimp-out' a profile as some contribution to 'Kink Illustrated' but should (online) command attention with his words. BUT, the more you have and can show in pics that's hot, sexy, kinky ad exciting...the better they know.

Do not fawn, chase, stalk or once there...cling. You are in buddhist tranquility...a disarming, charming plunderer. Go get 'em.

That's very good little girl. Where did you get all of that for such a young one ?

(in reply to Scheherazade)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 10:12:13 AM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomArtist1
Hey, just thought I'd throw in my two cents. The munches are a great idea. There typically just social events with no actual play, so you get the chance to meet others from the community and work on your real life experiences without the pressure of having to commit to anything. If you already chatting with someone about meeting in "real-life", have them meet you at one.
One 'hidden' benefit of getting out and meeting other kinksters is that, as you meet more people, you start meeting those who have vanilla interests in common with you.

I think that's actually really useful.  Because you build up a social circle which you know is going to be safe to mention kink in front of.

Which I think can be particuarly good for people who haven't previously even had many kink friendly friends.


_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to DomArtist1)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 10:12:30 AM   
Scheherazade


Posts: 41
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

quote:

ORIGINAL: Scheherazade

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySweetOrSour

Well, if the most valid comment you got from all the advice given by the good folk of CM was change your picture, I guess any response to your question is a bit superfluous.

Good grief give the man a break and try to ease up on the posturing.  Considering how important people view images, he made a totally valid observation that someone recommended he change it.
 
the.dark.

Darcy has it. A profile, whether we like it or not...is an adverisement. I have always felt that a dominant man and certainly a master should not need to 'pimp-out' a profile as some contribution to 'Kink Illustrated' but should (online) command attention with his words. BUT, the more you have and can show in pics that's hot, sexy, kinky ad exciting...the better they know.

Do not fawn, chase, stalk or once there...cling. You are in buddhist tranquility...a disarming, charming plunderer. Go get 'em.

That's very good little girl. Where did you get all of that for such a young one ?

My daddy told me all about it (profiles/realtime) and I couldn't agree more. Got to run.

(in reply to MrRodgers)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 10:22:36 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Hehe I love that-" A disarming,charming plunderer". Very eloquent.

< Message edited by HalloweenWhite -- 5/1/2009 10:23:44 AM >

(in reply to Scheherazade)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 11:21:53 AM   
Azkahnan


Posts: 8
Joined: 4/30/2009
Status: offline 		In the past when i'v joined a BDSM site, it's always been about attitude and bravado, I just presumed this was a global state. Updated it now, anyways. :) Thanks for the heads up.

As for my picture, I don't have a good camera, and I'v taken most of my pics with my webcam. the profile image of it is stretched, so. Blurriness. =[

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 11:36:21 AM   
strangedesire


Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline 		I like the new profile much better.  I'm not a sub, so I can't speak to how it will appeal to your target demographic, but from where I'm standing it makes you look much more level-headed and trustworthy.  Thumbs up. 


_____________________________

On that other site as Exegesis.

(in reply to Azkahnan)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 12:15:50 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I'm sending you email!
I will also add, ya rock for hanging around and being so open to ideas and deserve some kudos for that.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Azkahnan)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Seriously considering BDSM, Real-life... - 5/1/2009 5:49:46 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		We're not compatible geographically or chronologically, but I agree that the new profile is much better! Definitely keep in mind that things that you like online may not translate well to in person. I figure playing online doesn't really help develop D/s or BDSM skills, just like fighting on WOW or Doom or some such isn't going to teach you how to shoot a gun or use a sword in person. There are lots of things you can do pretty safely without classes, such as spanking, sensation play, light bondage, etc. Certainly do read up on safety issues (ie. avoid the spine, kidneys, and bony spots when you're thwacking someone, ways to minimise circulation issues for bondage, etc.).

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 38
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