Advise from a real Domme....

Advise from a real Domme.... (Full Version)

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DominatusErudio -> Advise from a real Domme.... (4/30/2009 5:56:08 PM)
Hi. I am looking for experienced Dommes who wouldn't mind sharing some insight with me. I have an honestly serious desire to become a better Domme. I am interested in learning, growing, and becoming better prepared for the lifestyle. I have some experience but realize that there is so much more to being a true Domme than swinging a paddle. Is there anyone real out there?

LadyPact -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (4/30/2009 6:05:53 PM)
Yes. Lots. Tend to be found in our natural habitat of munches, demos, and lifestyle events.

LaTigresse -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (4/30/2009 6:16:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DominatusErudio Hi. I am looking for experienced Dommes who wouldn't mind sharing some insight with me. I have an honestly serious desire to become a better Domme. I am interested in learning, growing, and becoming better prepared for the lifestyle. I have some experience but realize that there is so much more to being a true Domme than swinging a paddle. Is there anyone real out there? I will also suggest that you not limit yourself to talking to other dominant women. I have learned a great deal from some amazing submissives, slaves, and even a few dominant men. On occasion, even those I do not agree with or, even particularly like.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (4/30/2009 6:18:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DominatusErudio Hi. I am looking for experienced Dommes who wouldn't mind sharing some insight with me. I have an honestly serious desire to become a better Domme. I am interested in learning, growing, and becoming better prepared for the lifestyle. I have some experience but realize that there is so much more to being a true Domme than swinging a paddle. Is there anyone real out there? I'm here. Last time I checked, I was real. All of us will be safe here, as long as DemonKia doesn't wake up from her dream. She said she's dreaming us. So just to be safe, lets not wake her- or we may all disappear.

CatdeMedici -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (4/30/2009 7:10:12 PM)
Define "real".

DemonKia -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (4/30/2009 10:59:02 PM)
Did someone call my name? I've been summoned, as if . .. in a dream . . . . lol Um, well, anyways. I vote what they say, above .. . . Also, I've got an odd kinda notion . . . . . When I first started 'coming out' (to myself, mostly) as a kinkster, about a decade ago, in addition to finding & reading a number of the basic books on the subject, I also read thru a very large number of websites of professional dominatrices . .. . Yes, it's a particular subset of the life, but I learned a huge amount. I did the same, sorta, when I first started hanging out on CM; I read thru a really large number of dominant women's profiles, this time not just pro's . .. . . Learned a lot. Women like to write, like to communicate. A useful feature, hehehehe . . .. Oh. & hanging out in 'peer review' kinda situations, such as these message boards or play parties, is very useful to me . ... .. . It gives me all kinds of information & insight into 'community standards' . . .. . Much sound & fury, sometimes signifying stuff, lol . . . ..

SnowRanger -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (4/30/2009 11:10:50 PM)
Huh? Kia woke up and I'm still her....poof....

beeble -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (5/1/2009 2:04:44 AM)
Kia woke up and I still exist so, obviously, she doesn't dream about me... sob beeble.

PeonForHer -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (5/1/2009 2:34:09 AM)
I still exist It's OK, Beeble. You're only dreaming that you exist.

beeble -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (5/1/2009 3:40:24 AM)
quote: PeonForHer wrote: It's OK, Beeble. You're only dreaming that you exist. Yeah, I'm a tsispilos. beeble. That looks alarmingly like a Greek word.

masmiss -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (5/1/2009 2:01:16 PM)
I learned so much from my first submissive. He still has a special place in my heart.

DemonKia -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (5/2/2009 10:00:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beeble Kia woke up and I still exist so, obviously, she doesn't dream about me... sob beeble. Relax, beeble, I'm still quite asleep . . .. . . Buddha said I might not even wake up this time 'round . .. . . lol . . . . You're all in my dream . . . . . [:D]

SnowRanger -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (5/3/2009 5:44:29 AM)
<*unpoof>*...er. Whew! Just for a second... I thought I was gone!

chamberqueen -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (5/3/2009 8:15:01 AM)
I met a Domme once who told me that she knew she was born to be a Domme because she loves to give orders. We were out at a restaurant with others and it was like the whole world stood still around us. I looked at her and gently but firmly said, "there's a whole lot more to being a good Domme than giving orders". She just laughed it off. She proved later that night just what a bad Domme she was when I sat with her sub who was verging on hysterics because he couldn't handle the situation that she put him in. Yes, there is a whole lot more than wielding a paddle and giving orders. That sub needs to feel some type of fulfillment or they have no reason to serve. What seems universally true is that subs want to feel that they are understood. That might not mean that they get their way, and there is nothing wrong with that, but they at least want to be heard and know that they mean something to you. That doesn't mean that you need to love them, or that you need to cater to them, but that they know that you see some intrinsic value in them as a human being. I learned the most from other subs. Before ever playing with a sub of my own I interviewed other subs about the things that hurt them most in their relationships. I was often surprised. For one it had to do with a punishment where he was not allowed to wear his own collar but had to go back to a house collar. Other reasons seemed more natural, having a hard limit and having it be disregarded. Almost all of them boiled down to unclear miscommunication or not knowing how to handle a situation that fell outside the norm. That taught me the true value of communication - not just in giving a command but in making sure that it is understood, in making clear whether you are the type that prefers that a sub follow the letter of the law or the spirit of it, and in making sure that praise is forthcoming when they have done their best whether they lived up to your own personal expectations or not. You can't expect anything more from a person than their best.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Advise from a real Domme.... (5/3/2009 8:45:27 AM)
You are in TN, according to your profile. We are in Nashville, and if you are able to, you should look into meeting people at any of the munches out this way. There are a good number of both Dom and sub who could be quit helpful in your learning more about how to be good at what you want to do. I am sure there are others closer to you, if Nash is too far off, thats just where I have experience. DV

OpheliaS -> "there's a whole lot more to being a good Domme than giving orders" (5/3/2009 10:09:48 PM)
chamberqueen: I really appreciated your observant and intelligent opinion! [;)] Miss.O

OpheliaS -> RE: "there's a whole lot more to being a good Domme than giving orders" (5/3/2009 10:11:25 PM)
chamberqueen: I really appreciated your observant and intelligent opinion! Miss.O

OpheliaS -> RE: "there's a whole lot more to being a good Domme than giving orders" (5/3/2009 10:17:19 PM)
ps - sorry for posting twice - I'm new to the forums and don't know how to use them.. lol! and I can't find the way to edit my vanilla cone decided FOR me or to delete my extra post. help? [sm=Groaner.gif]

Lockit -> RE: "there's a whole lot more to being a good Domme than giving orders" (5/3/2009 10:49:44 PM)
Ophelia, the cone is a symbol that the site gives out. Everyone gets the dreaded cone until they have made something like 26 posts. Then it will change to something else. Many are horrified by it... but it passes quickly if you just post a lot! lol Hang in there and welcome to the boards!

beeble -> RE: "there's a whole lot more to being a good Domme than giving orders" (5/4/2009 4:06:35 AM)
And there's no way to delete a post. If you get to it quickly (within, maybe an hour?), you can edit it and either delete all the text or think of something else to say, sharpish. [:D] beeble.

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