Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Advise from a real Domme....


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Advise from a real Domme.... Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Advise from a real Domme.... - 4/30/2009 5:56:08 PM   
DominatusErudio


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/30/2009
Status: offline 		Hi.  I am looking for experienced Dommes who wouldn't mind sharing some insight with me.  I have an honestly serious desire to become a better Domme.  I am interested in learning, growing, and becoming better prepared for the lifestyle.  I have some experience but realize that there is so much more to being a true Domme than swinging a paddle.  Is there anyone real out there?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 4/30/2009 6:05:53 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Yes.  Lots.  Tend to be found in our natural habitat of munches, demos, and lifestyle events.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DominatusErudio)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 4/30/2009 6:16:31 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominatusErudio

Hi.  I am looking for experienced Dommes who wouldn't mind sharing some insight with me.  I have an honestly serious desire to become a better Domme.  I am interested in learning, growing, and becoming better prepared for the lifestyle.  I have some experience but realize that there is so much more to being a true Domme than swinging a paddle.  Is there anyone real out there?



I will also suggest that you not limit yourself to talking to other dominant women. I have learned a great deal from some amazing submissives, slaves, and even a few dominant men. On occasion, even those I do not agree with or, even particularly like.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 4/30/2009 6:18:50 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DominatusErudio)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 4/30/2009 6:18:27 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominatusErudio

Hi.  I am looking for experienced Dommes who wouldn't mind sharing some insight with me.  I have an honestly serious desire to become a better Domme.  I am interested in learning, growing, and becoming better prepared for the lifestyle.  I have some experience but realize that there is so much more to being a true Domme than swinging a paddle.  Is there anyone real out there?



I'm here. Last time I checked, I was real.

All of us will be safe here, as long as DemonKia doesn't wake up from her dream. She said she's dreaming us. So just to be safe, lets not wake her- or we may all disappear.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to DominatusErudio)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 4/30/2009 7:10:12 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Define "real".

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to DominatusErudio)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 4/30/2009 10:59:02 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		Did someone call my name? I've been summoned, as if . .. in a dream . . . . lol

Um, well, anyways.

I vote what they say, above .. . .

Also, I've got an odd kinda notion . . . . .

When I first started 'coming out' (to myself, mostly) as a kinkster, about a decade ago, in addition to finding & reading a number of the basic books on the subject, I also read thru a very large number of websites of professional dominatrices . .. . Yes, it's a particular subset of the life, but I learned a huge amount.

I did the same, sorta, when I first started hanging out on CM; I read thru a really large number of dominant women's profiles, this time not just pro's . .. . . Learned a lot. Women like to write, like to communicate. A useful feature, hehehehe . . ..

Oh. & hanging out in 'peer review' kinda situations, such as these message boards or play parties, is very useful to me . ... .. . It gives me all kinds of information & insight into 'community standards' . . .. . Much sound & fury, sometimes signifying stuff, lol . . . ..

_____________________________

Snarko ergo sum.



The Verbossinator

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 4/30/2009 11:10:50 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Huh?  Kia woke up and I'm still her....*poof*....

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 5/1/2009 2:04:44 AM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline 		Kia woke up and I still exist so, obviously, she doesn't dream about me...  *sob*

beeble.


_____________________________

Kita's owned slutpet.

(in reply to SnowRanger)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 5/1/2009 2:34:09 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I still exist

It's OK, Beeble. You're only dreaming that you exist.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to beeble)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 5/1/2009 3:40:24 AM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

PeonForHer wrote: It's OK, Beeble. You're only dreaming that you exist.

Yeah, I'm a tsispilos.

beeble.

That looks alarmingly like a Greek word.


_____________________________

Kita's owned slutpet.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 5/1/2009 2:01:16 PM   
masmiss


Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline 		I learned so much from my first submissive.  He still has a special place in my heart.

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to DominatusErudio)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 5/2/2009 10:00:41 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beeble

Kia woke up and I still exist so, obviously, she doesn't dream about me...  *sob*

beeble.


Relax, beeble, I'm still quite asleep . . .. . . Buddha said I might not even wake up this time 'round . .. . . lol . . . . You're all in my dream . . . . .


(in reply to beeble)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 5/3/2009 5:44:29 AM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		<unpoof>...er.  Whew!  Just for a second...  I thought I was gone!

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 5/3/2009 8:15:01 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I met a Domme once who told me that she knew she was born to be a Domme because she loves to give orders.  We were out at a restaurant with others and it was like the whole world stood still around us.  I looked at her and gently but firmly said, "there's a whole lot more to being a good Domme than giving orders".  She just laughed it off.  She proved later that night just what a bad Domme she was when I sat with her sub who was verging on hysterics because he couldn't handle the situation that she put him in. 

Yes, there is a whole lot more than wielding a paddle and giving orders.  That sub needs to feel some type of fulfillment or they have no reason to serve.  What seems universally true is that subs want to feel that they are understood.  That might not mean that they get their way, and there is nothing wrong with that, but they at least want to be heard and know that they mean something to you.  That doesn't mean that you need to love them, or that you need to cater to them, but that they know that you see some intrinsic value in them as a human being. 

I learned the most from other subs.  Before ever playing with a sub of my own I interviewed other subs about the things that hurt them most in their relationships.  I was often surprised.  For one it had to do with a punishment where he was not allowed to wear his own collar but had to go back to a house collar.  Other reasons seemed more natural, having a hard limit and having it be disregarded.  Almost all of them boiled down to unclear miscommunication or not knowing how to handle a situation that fell outside the norm.  That taught me the true value of communication - not just in giving a command but in making sure that it is understood, in making clear whether you are the type that prefers that a sub follow the letter of the law or the spirit of it, and in making sure that praise is forthcoming when they have done their best whether they lived up to your own personal expectations or not.  You can't expect anything more from a person than their best.


_____________________________



(in reply to SnowRanger)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Advise from a real Domme.... - 5/3/2009 8:45:27 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		You are in TN, according to your profile. We are in Nashville, and if you are able to, you should look into meeting people at any of the munches out this way. There are a good number of both Dom and sub who could be quit helpful in your learning more about how to be good at what you want to do.  I am sure there are others closer to you, if Nash is too far off, thats just where I have experience.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 15
"there's a whole lot more to being a good Domme th... - 5/3/2009 10:09:48 PM   
OpheliaS


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/9/2009
Status: offline 		chamberqueen:
I really appreciated your observant and intelligent opinion!

Miss.O

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: "there's a whole lot more to being a good Domm... - 5/3/2009 10:11:25 PM   
OpheliaS


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/9/2009
Status: offline 		chamberqueen:
I really appreciated your observant and intelligent opinion!

Miss.O

(in reply to OpheliaS)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: "there's a whole lot more to being a good Domm... - 5/3/2009 10:17:19 PM   
OpheliaS


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/9/2009
Status: offline 		ps - sorry for posting twice - I'm new to the forums and don't know how to use them.. lol! and I can't find the way to edit my vanilla cone decided FOR me or to delete my extra post. help? 

(in reply to OpheliaS)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: "there's a whole lot more to being a good Domm... - 5/3/2009 10:49:44 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ophelia, the cone is a symbol that the site gives out.  Everyone gets the dreaded cone until they have made something like 26 posts.  Then it will change to something else.  Many are horrified by it... but it passes quickly if you just post a lot! lol  Hang in there and welcome to the boards!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to OpheliaS)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: "there's a whole lot more to being a good Domm... - 5/4/2009 4:06:35 AM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline 		And there's no way to delete a post.  If you get to it quickly (within, maybe an hour?), you can edit it and either delete all the text or think of something else to say, sharpish. 

beeble.


_____________________________

Kita's owned slutpet.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Advise from a real Domme.... Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078