ClubFEM

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Euryanx -> ClubFEM (2/2/2006 9:49:24 PM)
Has anyone be to one of the ClubFEM's? I hear they are starting one in the Philly area, and would love to know more about them. The DC chapter has a web site at: http://clubfemdcmetro.org

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: ClubFEM (2/3/2006 6:27:08 AM)
My local partner just became all official a member of the DC Club Fem. They are also starting a Baltimore one. They told me I wouldn't be accepted because I don't identify as a dominant and I switch. This was amusing in that I had not asked to become a member. I attended a social as my partner was getting involved with them and I wanted to get to know more details of the group and feel them out. I'm not big into the fem supremacy and "let's be pure" thing. One of the oldest male subs there even told me that a lot of people in ClubFem switch and it's ok as long as you keep it quiet and don't do it at ClubFem events. However, my local partner finds the environment of all female doms and all male subs to be coducive for him and helps him relax as a sub. In so many places where male subs are looked at with less than a fond eye, I can understand. I support his desire to make friends and find social places he can express himself, so go for it.

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: ClubFEM (2/3/2006 6:38:13 AM)
quote: I hear they are starting one in the Philly area, and would love to know more about them I think the rumor that ClubFEM was going to be starting up in Philly has been going around for 6 or 7 years.

MistressOfGa -> RE: ClubFEM (2/3/2006 6:38:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross My local partner just became all official a member of the DC Club Fem. They are also starting a Baltimore one. They told me I wouldn't be accepted because I don't identify as a dominant and I switch. This was amusing in that I had not asked to become a member. I attended a social as my partner was getting involved with them and I wanted to get to know more details of the group and feel them out. I'm not big into the fem supremacy and "let's be pure" thing. One of the oldest male subs there even told me that a lot of people in ClubFem switch and it's ok as long as you keep it quiet and don't do it at ClubFem events. However, my local partner finds the environment of all female doms and all male subs to be coducive for him and helps him relax as a sub. In so many places where male subs are looked at with less than a fond eye, I can understand. I support his desire to make friends and find social places he can express himself, so go for it. Oooh Lucky, would you like to go out back behind the barn haystack and have a cigarette? Or perhaps we can slip unseen into the voting booth? This is exactly what this reminds me of. Wow, talk about living in the past. (By the way, I don't smoke, but I DO vote) <s>

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: ClubFEM (2/3/2006 6:42:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa This is exactly what this reminds me of. Wow, talk about living in the past. (By the way, I don't smoke, but I DO vote) Go vote! I found it amusing, but normal. It makes you want to roll your eyes when they talk on and on about fem supremacy and how strict CF is about it, but again, that's normal. They had a lot of questions about letting my partner into CF because he DOES switch and will continue to do so, but I think they liked his contributions to the group and felt that since I was encouraging him to be part of their group that they would make sure I didn't taint him too much :)

BeachMystress -> RE: ClubFEM (2/3/2006 2:47:25 PM)
I was a member of Club FEm So Cal and loved it! A friend on the boards clued me in to the topic being discussed and I'm going to share with you part of what I shared with her. Sadly, the reason that Club Fem So Cal is no longer listed on the main Club FEm site, http://clubfem.com/ is that it has dissolved. The local coordinator ended up being blackmailed by a "submissive" business partner over a business matter involving the Dungeon our subs built and he financed. He threatened to call Children's Protective Services and tell them she was a ProDomme and involving her children in an immoral lifestyle if she didn't do what he wanted. (And guess what, since he owns that dungeon near Anaheim, he's still welcomed by many in the lifestyle.. honor is dead.) After that she lost heart for the lifestyle. She limped along for a bit, but other political problems due to the immaturity of the local women finally put the last nail in the coffin for her. Unfortunately, after dealing with an organization of just Domme and another with Domme and Dom, I have to say the mixed group is the better of the two. The women in Club Fem, rather than feeling that the club bylaws were like any other group's rules, decided they were a challenge to their own personal dominance. There was very little of a feeling of sisterhood and support. There was a core group of about 5 women who had the right ideas about supporting each other/learning from each other and the ability to see past the need for politics. And that is out of a community that supports close to a hundred lifestyle Domme active in the scene and a ton more who are private. It is very frustrating. I don't know why so many Domme feel that any time they're around another Domme it is a competition. They don't respect each other's Dominance. Too many of them feel the need to run others down to bolster themselves. As if others being Dominant somehow takes away from them. I get more respect from Dom than I do from Domme. Many other Domme see you as a threat. It is disheartening that even with our supposed enlightenment, many of our sisters are still out to squabble over men like they were in high school. The concept of Club FEm is a wonderful one. I think that if we'd not lost the club due to the blackmail of Ms. Norma Jean, we'd have managed to bring more women to the core group and actually ended up with a group that was closer to the ideal of a place of female Dominant support and sisterhood. I regret it's loss.

FTopinMichigan -> RE: ClubFEM (2/3/2006 3:31:27 PM)
I was active with our local ClubFem and find it's a wonderful opportunity for male submissives to enjoy meeting others, without being judged for being submissive. All too often, I've seen male subs rejected or ignored at other community events. At the Michigan ClubFem, they tend to get the opportunity to meet women in a comfortable atomosphere, as well as a chance to meet other sub men, and most get an opportunity to scene, or at least watch others. Their fun is only limited by their actions and their social skills. It works here, and is quite personal, in the venues where parties are held now. The hosts are wonderful to open their homes. quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I'm not big into the fem supremacy and "let's be pure" thing. One of the oldest male subs there even told me that a lot of people in ClubFem switch and it's ok as long as you keep it quiet and don't do it at ClubFem events. While of course FemDoms rule at parties [;)], I've not felt the issue of "female supremacy" being shoved down anyone's throat. There's no "pure" force at the local group here, although I can say that some of the women are in fact switches and even some bottoms. They all enjoy the party, and the men, whether switches, subs, or even closeted Doms, come in sub mode to attend the party. The women are predominately Domme/Tops, and many enjoy scenes, or are seeking partner/playmates. It's a good social opportunity for all, for the most part. The only real issue that I see is that many people join the group, but only a few actually become active. From what I've been hearing, each chapter is run quite differently, and it's only going to be as good as the manager, and the members that attend functions. I'd personally like to see more social functions, but our group seems to center around parties. K Edited for typo[:@]

Euryanx -> RE: ClubFEM (2/3/2006 7:16:24 PM)
Thank you all for replying! For the most part it sounds like it was a good experience. Didn't realize the Philly chapter has been trying to get off the ground for so long. From communicating with the Domme running it here now, she's looking for people to volunteer their homes to hold parties - and I've volunteered mine as their first - so maybe it will finally get off the ground.

EarthGoddess52 -> RE: ClubFEM (2/3/2006 7:26:31 PM)
Well, I won't be going to the dungeon near Anaheim anytime soon. That's distressing news. As for women working together and supporting each other, I find that lacking more in the vanilla wold than in D/s. I worked in an office with two other women and two, and not always the same two, would buddy up and the other would be left out. They could never be genuinely happy for another Female. They were always in competition with each other. I don't feel that in the D/s world. Maybe I'm more confident now than I was then. I don't know. But I am who I am and am comfortable with Me. Self confidence and esteem count for a lot! theEarthGoddess

BeachMystress -> RE: ClubFEM (2/4/2006 1:09:15 AM)
smiles You're almost local! Pleasure to meet you! While you have a lot of organizations closer to you than we are, I'd like to invite you to the South Bay pansexual munch. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/south_bay_munch/ The next one is Feb 23rd and the one after that is March 14th. We generally have between 20 and 30 people attend. It is a very friendly group and makes an effort to include newcomers in conversation. Personally, if you're going to make the trip down here, I'd recommend the 14th over the 23rd. The munch on the 14th includes playing pool or darts after dinner. It's funny how much fun you can have around a pool table when you do not play pool. :-) Also, if you don't know the munches closer to you, I'd be happy to find out the where and when for you. If you're not a member of the So Cal SM Events list, you may want to join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SoCalSMEvents/ And, by the way, the dungeon near Anaheim is NOT Dragon's Gate. (There are two dungeons near Anaheim) Dragnon's Gate is a lovely facility run by a wonderful woman called Mistress Jordan. It is small, but nicely done. My first comment after walking through it was that you could tell a woman decorated it. smiles I also invite you to join us in the alt website chat room. While it has the usual wankers, wanna bes and players, there are also a lot of people in the lifestyle who chat there. Most of the people who are regulars know each other from meeting at the Lair and munches.

TheMistressMandy -> RE: ClubFEM (2/4/2006 10:57:54 AM)
I have attended Jordan's parties for the last 4 years every month, and love her to death! I also knew Norma Jean because her submissive used to serve me befeore he screwed me over. Then my friendship with Norma Jean dissolved shortly there after. Club Fem would not allow me to bring my female slave, so I never attended their parties. I was told from those who did go that it was not all that great and full of political uproars on a regular basis. I prefer the Dragon's Gate parties anyday...except for when 90% of the people who show up are newbies who have zero scene etiquette, and ruin the atmosphere for those of us who have been going for years...

FTopinMichigan -> RE: ClubFEM (2/4/2006 12:33:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheMistressMandy Club Fem would not allow me to bring my female slave, so I never attended their parties. While our Club Fem is for FemDom and male submissives, there seemed to be a desire for the female submissives to attend a like party, so our local chapter tried a FemDom/FemSub party. I'm told they had a very nice party, but that the attendance didn't warrant it being a standard for the group. Mostly, I'd say it would be due to the fact that F/F couples are more widely accepted in the community at large. It's not the same case for F/M in all venues, and thus the need for the ClubFem here. K

TheMistressMandy -> RE: ClubFEM (2/5/2006 11:15:17 AM)
Seems to be the opposite out here. Fem/fem couples are not that easy to find, and we often are critisized for being lesbians as well as Fem/fem play partners. FemDomme/malesub seems to be one of the only accepted combinations in the area here in So Cal, and I have been in the scene a very long time, despite my young age. I am usually the only FemDomme with a female slave.

BeachMystress -> RE: ClubFEM (2/7/2006 1:04:12 AM)
I know several Domme in the area who keep female subs. There are even more who play with females on a "pick up" basis. (They're friends, but not regular play partners.) I do remember the discussion in Club FEm about bringing female subs. Unfortunately while several of us thought it would be ok, Club FEm So Cal was not a stand alone organization, but rather a chapter of a larger organization. We had to follow their basic rules. (Norma Jean was never able to bring her female sub.) Those basic rules were the starting point for a lot of the political drama in the organization. A number of Local Domme felt those rules were a challenge to their personal Dominance. In reality, they were rules, like you find in most clubs and organizations. One of Norma Jean's subs screwed you over?? I'm sorry to hear that! I'd ask which one, but this isn't the place to name names in a critical manner. I'm shocked/disappointed that you've been criticized anywhere for the sex of your choice of partner. We do have those in the local scene who are beyond ignorant. I had one "dom" tell me that the only reason I was a Domme was that I'd not met a *REAL* man yet. After I was done gut laughing, I told him that if considered himself a real man the world was in dire trouble. Have you heard of Goddess Night? http://www.goddessnite.com/default.html It's being held at Passive Arts in March. I'm not sure if it is a play party or not. It is a networking tool for women in the local artistic community(music, acting, art and such) and I think I remember from somewhere that you're artistic.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: ClubFEM (2/7/2006 6:21:15 AM)
The Headmistress Lisa over here is very big into the Fem Supremacy thing and does not look very kindly upon fem subs or male doms- hence why I was told I was not allowed to become a member even before I had requested. She's not actively antagonistic to them, but she makes it plain how she feels the world should work and uses ClubFem as her vehicle towards that.

DiannaVesta -> RE: ClubFEM (2/7/2006 4:47:23 PM)
I think it's a great idea and I will be checking it out! Thanks! I think Fem Supremacy is a wonderful lifestyle and certainly not behind the times. DV

orfunboi -> RE: ClubFEM (2/7/2006 5:00:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan quote: ORIGINAL: TheMistressMandy Club Fem would not allow me to bring my female slave, so I never attended their parties. While our Club Fem is for FemDom and male submissives, there seemed to be a desire for the female submissives to attend a like party, so our local chapter tried a FemDom/FemSub party. I'm told they had a very nice party, but that the attendance didn't warrant it being a standard for the group. Mostly, I'd say it would be due to the fact that F/F couples are more widely accepted in the community at large. It's not the same case for F/M in all venues, and thus the need for the ClubFem here. K i wish i had know about the FemDom/FemSub party, i ask every once in a while, but haven't seen anything yet. i did attend a party in Memphis that was FemDom only, but the subs could be male or female.

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