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kuriouswitch -> RE: Some questions from a new sub (5/1/2009 12:34:00 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: justxjess
As I am still a bit too shy to just even post an introduction, I am just going to ask what is on my mind. i hope that is all right :)
1.) I am quite shy in real life with people I don't know very well and even with people I do. Its difficult for me to even chat one on one with someone on here and progressing to steps beyond that seem daunting. However I am serious about exploring this. I am just very shy and very afraid of doing something wrong. How do I get over the shyness? How do I get over the fear of doing/saying the wrong thing?
2.) Speaking of chatting one on one, do more people chat together through this website or another? Would it be better to use Yahoo or something similar?
3.) Without going into a detailed introduction, I have researched this lifestyle since I was 13 (I am now 24) and felt as if it applied So Much to me. Its almost terrifyingly fulfilling to me; I have felt calmer and happier and more secure with my footing in the world since I dove in head first. My question: How can I incorporate this into my everyday life without a M/D? Is there a way to do so? (I hope that made sense)
1) I'm shy myself in person (I find it easier to talk in text, even to family members than in person or on the phone) but Master enjoys that because he has seen and shown me over the last several months how I've grown in my trust in him, but also I've grown in confidence with him, and it's moved into RL. At work I'm able to actually converse with customers now without feeling sick ect. Getting over being shy is a very hard thing. I still fight to look people in the eyes when talking to them, family members included. but it's something that takes time and patience and someone encouraging you , letting you know that it's okay.
1B) As for saying/doing the wrong thing I still fight with this. There are times when I'll just sit and not move because I can't read Master's mood and there is no way I'm going to do or say anything that might "set" him off. Now I know Master wouldn't do that, just go off like that. but it's still a fear I have, I have a drive to be perfect so there are times when he has to remind me it's okay to make a mistake. that he will gently correct me when it's needed but he will also punish or discipline me if he feels that is needed. Making mistakes is human, they don't want a robot (though that would be cool) who is giong to be perfect all the time, and you're not the only one who is going to make mistakes. He will too, especially in the beginning as both of you learn about one another. Talk to him, tell him what you like and don't like, what you need and what you enjoy but can do without. Both of you need to talk after a punishment so that you can let him know how it effected you, did it work or does something else need to be tried next time. what did you learn from the punishment as well.
2) As for chatting with others. I spend more time here now on the boards than I ever did before. I used to and still do when I have time, chat in the chat rooms. It did a lot to help me get over being shy, having to interact with all those people. But I learned a lot too and had fun. I became an op (someone who helps moniter the chat room) for one room, and that's how I met Master, he was an op there as well. We spent a lot of time just talking in the chat room before ever moving to our messenger services. I have Cmail conversations with some people as well, but they tend to get impatient if you take a day or two to reply because you're busy.
3) There are lots of ways to incorporate this lifestyle into your everyday without a M/D. One which always helped me was volunteering, usually at a hospital where I could help the patients with little things such as going to the bathroom or getting them water or delivering their mail and just visiting. Things like that. I used to go to the VA hospital when I lived in teh city, those men have lots of stories to tell. At work I make sure my main focus is the customer. I spend more time teaching them how to use the kiosk ( I work in a photo lab) and how to order their prints ect without making them feel like their an inconvience or stupid, especially the older ladies. I've had several thank me because I teach them willingly unlike a few of the other employees who make them feel incompitant (misspelled that) I also take care of my fellow employees, making sure they're taken care of when they're sick and at work, had to take a bowl of soup from one girl because she started to spill it on the floor without realizing it. I made her sit down while i warmed it up for her. I'm constantly aware and looking for ways I can help everyone run smoother so we can get more things done. I babysit one day a week, for a friend for free, or we barter, i babysit and get a home cooked meal or she'll allow me to borrow her car for the day if i need it. because her husband has been laid off and they can't afford to pay. i enjoy babysitting and she doesn't have to worry about daycare or paying a sitter and I get food that's healthy for me, or a car if i need to run errands that are across town. Like oceanwinds said, it's about focusing on others, making their lives easier, if you're single with no kids or pets and you're as shy as I am you don't hang out with people much, so there's a lot of free time outside of work and cleaning house, so put it to work helping and serving others who need it.
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