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RE: Hard - 5/4/2009 3:31:31 PM

LadyConstanze

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I absolutely agree with FullfigRIMAAM1, I think we are all trying to be so politically correct, for some people it might matter and it might just be that they are not attracted to a certain type but they are afraid to say it because they are worried to be branded racists. It seems to be odd, while it is perfectly OK to admit that you are not attracted to blondes, redheads or brunettes, as soon as race is mentioned "Ooops, nope, I can't say I'm not attracted to a certain ethnic look or they will think I'm a racist..."
When people really get to know each other, I think looks and ethnicity become less and less important, but if it comes to initial attraction and if you do approach somebody, they do matter a lot.

Sometimes funny things happen though, a friend of mine was always attracted to tall, leggy blondes and the domme who absolutely blew him away was petite, curvy and dark skinned - he said they got on so well and all of a sudden he found her so attractive, he now can't understand that he used to like the barbie type.

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Post #: 21

RE: Hard - 5/4/2009 3:37:14 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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Thank you LadyConstanze.

It's good to see you around. I just feel it's important for everyone to be as honest going in, in terms of knowing what they desire, and what they can consider seriously as a relationship, because often the two have nothing to do with one another. Hurt feelings can be avoided if the issue can be discussed openly, and with minimal ego. M

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The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

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Post #: 22

RE: Hard - 5/5/2009 7:06:41 AM

LaTigresse

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For me, it's weird, I notice things like skin colour, etc......upon first visual, but then as soon as any sort of communication really begins it is as though I forget all about it. Kind of like, I may think, "Wow, she has gorgeous hair!" but then all of that gets lost in getting to know the person.

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Post #: 23

RE: Hard - 5/5/2009 8:29:39 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Exactly! I have types that I am madly attracted to, and none of the people I have been with are that type!

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Post #: 24

RE: Hard - 5/5/2009 2:08:07 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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Your response I think is very normal, when you're getting to know a person without many preconceived ideas, and there is a willingness to accept each other, and take them at face value.
I suppose the concern is when that isn't the case, and different people come with different agendas, and there is no honest communication of said agendas... M

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The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

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Post #: 25

RE: Hard - 5/5/2009 2:27:22 PM

ShaktiSama

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I have been approached by one or two black male submissives over the years, but unfortunately the majority of them tended to hit me in the first message with a straight-up raceplay proposition, and there was no way to connect with them as people before that was in my face. There were one or two exceptions where we started talking and found we had some interests in common, but there wasn't enough spark there to get to the phone call/traveling to meet phase.

The straight-up sex approach doesn't work for me with any man, of any race, so obviously it was just as fruitless for a black man as it would be for a white man, an Asian man, a Native American man, etc.. I have to get to know someone before I have any urge to dominate them. That has been my only obstacle with the majority of black male submissives, and it's also the eliminating factor for 99.99% of people of any race, age, gender or orientation.

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Post #: 26

RE: Hard - 5/5/2009 4:13:50 PM

Kaiel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveBlutarsky

Dommess are just trying to keep the brotha man down.

Seriously?

Finding a Domme is hard for everyone, race is the least of your worries.

LOL@ keeping a brotha man down

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Post #: 27

RE: Hard - 5/5/2009 4:21:59 PM

Venatrix

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

it might just be that they are not attracted to a certain type but they are afraid to say it because they are worried to be branded racists.

Absolutely. As a rule, I just am not physically attracted to black men. That having been said, there's a black man who lives in London and whenever his photo comes up on the CM home page, my jaw drops. He's absolutely exquisite. And no, I haven't told him this. I'd feel like a complete prat.

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Post #: 28

RE: Hard - 5/5/2009 8:43:24 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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quote:

The straight-up sex approach doesn't work for me with any man

I completely understand, as I am the same way. Yes, the cluelessness about approaching a woman is rampant unfortunately among so called submissives... Though sometimes I wonder if they get their clues from the many explicit dominant profiles they go through, before finding us.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with women or men who want to hook up for sex... I suppose the issue is that we're all thrown in together, and confuse the men on what it means to "come correct", as they say in my vernacular.

quote:

Venatrix
As a rule, I just am not physically attracted to black men.

Knowing what type one is attracted to is half the battle in the pursuit of a relationship. I think only people with serious narcissistic issues believe that everyone has to be attracted to them.
I find that I develop the best relationships with people who tell me how they think/feel honestly, so that I don't have to wonder... In the case of relationships, I would obviously prefer that information before becoming involved emotionally or intimately. M

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The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

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Post #: 29