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New Master Question - 5/3/2009 4:38:03 AM

sishonors

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/21/2009
Status: offline

Hello, I am recently a new master, and have a slave that i can really only contact online for right now (she is going to school, as am I in another state). So far she has been doing very well and willing, but I was wondering if there are any ways to make this master/slave relationship more real. Some of the major concerns are stuff about punishment, rewards, how to train her (she is very new to this and wants to learn everything) without me being there in person at the moment.

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RE: New Master Question - 5/3/2009 5:03:28 AM

Fitznicely

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

Where to start?

First, congratulations.

Second, beware. Study/Google these two phrases and their implications:

- Risk Aware Consensual Kink
- Safe, Sane, Consensual

Be aware that a long-distance M/s relationship is a LOT different than meeting face to face.

Do a thorough search of these here forums. There are a myriad discussions on distance Domination.

Take your position seriously, but don't lose your sense of humanity, humility and fun.

Most of all, Communicate, communicate, communicate....After that, research.

As for taking it further, hell, there's a million ways, isn't there? But, take your time. The biggest mistake you can make is to rush things. Practically, I'd expect a quite natural evolution from mail to cam to phone to public meeting, to playdate...But YMMV...

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I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

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RE: New Master Question - 5/3/2009 5:14:08 AM

Domorsub69

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline

Hi Sishonors

I have recently start a similar relationship with my sub who is studying at university so will be following this link for further ideas from some more experienced Dom's.

In the meantime my sub has been very good and enjoys lots of humiliation play. Some of the things she has enjoyed include things like asking for permission to do certain things (touching herself, toilet time etc) and also writing messages on her body to display her affections for her Dom. I am fairly new to this and am taking things she has done in the past and putting my ideas to them, it is key (IMO) you do the same. Find out what her limits are and turn ons and go with them. In my case she really doesnt enjoy telling me what humilates her (which is obv. part of the training) so have picked up ideas as I have gone along and discussed them first. Bear in mind tho what turns one on doesnt turn on somebode else.

Hopefully I have got all the wrnings out the way early in the thread as when ever I have read calls for advice its heavily ladden with fears so hopefully we can get straight to the good stuff :-)

No offence intended in the marks above and I do appreciate safety is top top top of the list when it comes to play time however i think those of us on here are of an age where we know what is sane sensible fun and also that it's the fun part that brings us together.

Anyway hope this some help I have a couple of other ideas but have seen how others have been shot down so will bide my time.

Excuse speeling mistooks - no reason just lazy lol.

Regards

M

(in reply to sishonors)

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RE: New Master Question - 5/3/2009 5:25:14 AM

Fitznicely

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domorsub69

No offence intended in the marks above and I do appreciate safety is top top top of the list when it comes to play time however i think those of us on here are of an age where we know what is sane sensible fun...

HA, you'd be surprised!

Age is no guarantor, I promise you that. Neither, sad to say, is membership of CM.

_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to Domorsub69)

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RE: New Master Question - 5/3/2009 1:53:54 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Why focus on her failing and needing to be punished? Why not focus on helping her succeed? Because if she fails at a task, then it means you failed to teach her how to do it or failed to help her get over some hang up relating to the task at hand.

It's finals week. The tasks you ought to be giving her should not be taking her away from her studies, thus lessening her chances of getting good grades. The tasks you should be giving are ones relating to her studying more effectively, eating properly and getting enough sleep. Stuff that will help her succeed and show that you are more interested in her as a person than in you getting your rocks off.

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RE: New Master Question - 5/3/2009 10:22:21 PM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sishonors

Hello, I am recently a new master, and have a slave that i can really only contact online for right now (she is going to school, as am I in another state). So far she has been doing very well and willing, but I was wondering if there are any ways to make this master/slave relationship more real. Some of the major concerns are stuff about punishment, rewards, how to train her (she is very new to this and wants to learn everything) without me being there in person at the moment.

I suggest, in complete earnest, you bone up on how to train puppies. The behaviorist theories are the same that govern human action, and having such crisp examples will aid both of you. Her discipline cannot exceed yours. You must train yourself on how to train.

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... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

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RE: New Master Question - 5/4/2009 6:25:31 PM

DeViLiVeD

Posts: 37
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline

I have to agree with DesFIP. Its better to encourage than discourage. I guess by now you both should have discussed about both your likes/dislikes/limits. So make sure your within those boundaries. And your slave is still a student so make her but don't break her.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

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Post #: 7