RE: Self Destruction

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RE: Self Destruction - 5/6/2009 5:32:32 AM

frankieboy52

Posts: 91
Joined: 4/29/2009
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falling in love again is not an option..period.

(in reply to SIRLOINSTEAK)

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Post #: 21

RE: Self Destruction - 5/6/2009 5:45:34 AM

LadySweetOrSour

Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
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NOT falling in love again is not an option for me... period.

As Holly and a couple of others said, a relationship for me is a relationship. There's no D/s or vanilla. It's just relationship.

(in reply to frankieboy52)

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Post #: 22

RE: Self Destruction - 5/6/2009 6:05:07 AM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

I try to use patience but I don't think that is predominately a D/s or Vanilla trait. When the other is sorting through things, or facing life changes, I try to use acceptance. I give them the space they need to do what ever it is they need for themselves. I let go without the door shutting, unless they shut it. Communication is a good function in any type of relationship. The ability to also understand the communication is necessary. When the other or me is in need of space to think through things, it is good to honor that without putting their laundry out for the world to see. All comes down to patience with the other as well as yourself.

(in reply to LadySweetOrSour)

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Post #: 23

RE: Self Destruction - 5/6/2009 6:06:59 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
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<i'm used to falling for ppl i can't have so if the "falling in love is not an option" would be possible it would totally rock my world!

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(in reply to oceanwinds)

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Post #: 24

RE: Self Destruction - 5/6/2009 6:10:26 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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I am with the "not loving is not an option" I just purely cannot imagine it. I may be a nasty cold hearted bitch

while I am loving, but it's there!

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

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Post #: 25

RE: Self Destruction - 5/6/2009 6:17:40 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
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*snort* no luuuuuuv ah what an easy life that would be! -,-

omg I sound like an old bitter cow!

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Post #: 26

RE: Self Destruction - 5/6/2009 6:36:00 AM

Fitznicely

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

I've told the girl since the time W/we met she'd be the last one I fell in love with. Can't see Me changing My mind anytime soon...

Even if the worst were to happen, she'd still be the last. It's not that I can switch off My emotions, just that she deserves that nobody else comes close.

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I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

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Post #: 27

RE: Self Destruction - 5/6/2009 6:56:10 AM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
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I honestly did not believe I could fall in love again after hubby died. The pain of losing one you love is a horrible experience. Then Sir came along and here I am in love again. I am glad I proved myself wrong. Pain is horrible and I dont know what the future holds, but thinking back to not having hubby in my life and Sir now, what a shame that would have been.

(in reply to Fitznicely)

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Post #: 28

RE: Self Destruction - 5/6/2009 8:06:40 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

How far are you or have you gone to make a D/s relationship work?

I have two answers to this...as far as I can without losing me; in other words...if I have to radically change who and what I am to hang onto the relationship, then the relationship is likely not worth saving. This is of course all dependant on my partner and how far they are willing to go. I've been in a relationship where the partner said they were trying but when the relationship had ended and I stepped back, what I noted was that all of her trying was based on doing things in much the same manner that had helped to lead to the problems in the first place...in other words, she was willing to go only as far as where it allowed her to still do it her way without any changes on her part. No more of that for me.

When things were falling apart, what skills or what traits did you try to use the most? Your D/s ones or your vanilla ones?
I've used the skills I've gathered from various sources...being a dominant, being a doctor...being a father...being a romantic partner...from my therapist...whatever was called for, I've used. When none of it has worked, then the relationship isn't worth it.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

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Post #: 29

RE: Self Destruction - 5/6/2009 11:19:24 AM

KoolnSassy

Posts: 65
Joined: 5/5/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

How far are you or have you gone to make a D/s relationship work?

When things were falling apart, what skills or what traits did you try to use the most? Your D/s ones or your vanilla ones?

OMG, Cat - ha ha - well you certainly know My history. I am the type to do ALL I can to make a relationship work. And unfortunately I have done more than I think has been healthy for Me. In terms of skills/traits - talking, writing, reading, then of course there's pleading, screaming etc. But I think I've learned that if it's not enjoyable then it's best to move on. I don't know that I can honestly separate D/s and vanilla skills when it comes to working toward something I want. So probably a combination of the 2.

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KoolnSassy

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

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Post #: 30

RE: Self Destruction - 5/7/2009 11:57:56 AM

TopChuck

Posts: 36
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline

Congratulations on some true insight. The power exchange does work. And it's not confined to the D/s world.

Both of you understanding you was more important than just you understanding you.

That's a Dom/me's duty; to keep that understanding flowing, so the sub can be open and trust.

(in reply to tiinkerbell)

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Post #: 31