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[Poll]

For DISCUSSION: Courtesy


Yes - courtesy is the axle grease that makes our society run smoothly.
  80% (32)
No - who needs it?
  2% (1)
Maybe - do I get laid if I'm nice?
  2% (1)
Possibly - if it gets me what I want.
  10% (4)
WTF does anyone care about manners and crap like COURTESY?
  5% (2)


Total Votes : 40
(last vote on : 5/5/2009 7:09:37 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 6:16:33 AM   
Rainfire


Posts: 4047
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline 		Does common courtesy and polite "niceties" have a place on a DISCUSSION board or are they chitchat not worth wasting your time over? 

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RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 6:21:16 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I think that courtesy on a discussion board is just as important as it is in face to face interactions.  

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RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 6:22:30 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Hey Rain, it's been a while. Where have you been hiding?!

Courtesy is indispensable for civilised discussions and even more for social interractions, otherwise where do brutality and rudeness stop? I don't always practice what I believe in though  .

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RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 6:25:06 AM   
intenze


Posts: 2176
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		I agree, without societal courtesy there is chaos.
On the other hand, if you can't say something nice, come sit by me!
c

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RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 6:30:38 AM   
plushiecat


Posts: 109
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline 		Courtesy is certainly important.  What gets frustrating at times is trying to figure out just what is considered courtesy in some situations.  Some aspects are (or should be) obvious, like saying 'excuse me' or the like if you walk into someone.  However, there is situational courtesy that seems to vary between people, and even subcultures.  As a ready example, some doms (I don't use the, to me,  superfluous term domme) feel it is discourteous to not refer to them by a title, and yet it's not something I will do, as that person isn't my dom.  

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Profile   Post #: 5
RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 6:30:39 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		it is very necessary. but sadly common courtesy,  like common sense,  is sometimes not so common.

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RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 6:33:15 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: intenze

I agree, without societal courtesy there is chaos.
On the other hand, if you can't say something nice, come sit by me!
c


I happen to love that quote, and the movie it came from.

As for the courtesy issue, I admit that I didn't vote because I didn't feel that any of the options resonated with Me.  I generally respond with courtesy to courteous people.  Not always.  I have My flaws, bad days, etc, like everyone else.  I can offer courtesy in the beginning of an interaction, but if it's met with the opposite, I'm probably not going to continue.  My level of courtesy will drop considerably if My personal opinion of you (general you, absolutely not you personally Rain or intenze) is that you're not much of a decent human being.  I'll be civil, but it will probably be rather apparent that I don't think much of you.


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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 6:58:09 AM   
Rainfire


Posts: 4047
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline 		If there are other options that would apply better, LP, please - let me know, I'd be glad to add them. I admit the last 3 are kind of smart-alecky but I tried to keep them light-hearted and fun, considering that this is P&RS. Gotta have some random stupidity, huh?

Myself, I try to give everyone equal opportunity courtesy, until they've shown that it's a waste of my time. Since that usually also means that that person is a waste of my time, I move on. I've been told at times that I'm old-fashioned and I'm ok with that, it's part of who I am. Being nice doesn't hurt me and at times, it sure can make people wonder what I'm up to!

And holly - i knows yer talking about me....


_____________________________

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Or is this the beginning of the end?"
Proud member of the Clan Scarlett O'Hair

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 7:05:09 AM   
intenze


Posts: 2176
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		There are a lot of people who use discussion boards as a bully pulpit for their agenda and are pretty rude if someone comes along to object. There are also tons of people who hide behind the keyboard and the screen and behave in pathetic and childish ways, things they would never do in person. 
I envision a discussion board or a chat room type venue to be like a cocktail party. You may not want to hang out with all the people at the party but you are probably not going to walk up and tell them they are a fuckstick either.  I figure, if I cant behave here like I do in any face to face situation, then I probably just better walk away, metaphorically. 
Sad thing is, it took me a while to figure that out.  I have called many a fine intellectual a fuckstick on-line before I figured out that I would not have said that to their face.  I regret that.  Now, I just put them on ignore.  It's better for the soul, lol.
c

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 7:29:16 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Rain, I'm not sure I could have come up with better options.  I'm sorry that I can't contribute something that sounds more like a solution.  For such a broad subject, it would be difficult to come up with selections that would fit Me, even coming from Me.  LOL.

As to what you're saying, intenze, I do understand your point.  However, I do have to say that common courtesy will come up short with Me in some areas.  I'm something of a defender type, so that will come up in My case once in a while.  I may not cross a room to tell someone they are a fuckstick without being provoked, but even a lady has to let the dragon out once it's occurred.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 7:46:21 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		The one thing which I have noticed since being on the boards is at some level there is a common courtesy that is automatically given by the vast majority of the people here. I know I like to think that I have been courteous to most people  I interact with on the forums though at times that doesn't happen. Usually in cases such as that it's simply a clash of personalities, much like we all come across people in daily life which we butt heads with even without provocation.
   Yes in many areas I have perceived that just giving courtesy to another rarely happens unless the person somehow has to prove they deserve being polite to. For the most part, what runs through my mind even at my age is what my mother drilled into me which was to treat others in the same manner I want to be treated. So in this modern age of technology, I find I carry this concept over the internet and who knows, I may end up meeting many people eventually and I sure don't want to meet a person from here to whom I was accidentally rude to online!


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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 7:49:57 AM   
amoryblane


Posts: 40
Joined: 4/22/2009
Status: offline 		My father once said something like "There is nothing more important than having impeccable manners.  That way, when you decide to behave rudely toward someone who has earned it, no one will be able to say 'Oh, the fool didn't know any better', the affront and the insult you mean to cause will truly sting."

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RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 7:52:21 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rainfire

Does common courtesy and polite "niceties" have a place on a DISCUSSION board or are they chitchat not worth wasting your time over? 



Common courtesy? Is there such a thing? Is please and thank you being courteous? I don't think so. Is listening to someone else's opinion and treating it as valid being courteous? I think so. Yet others would disagree.

I'm not terribly interested in whether or not others deem me to be courteous, and I'm not really that interested in whether or not other posters act according to my idea of courtesy. Providing there's something interesting in there to discuss, it can be delivered in any which way you can imagine, but I'd still be game for a chat.

Window dressing is no substitute for substance.

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 7:58:21 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with LP...

I'm a cantankerous a-hole if I'm not treated with courtesy.

I do reserve my courtesy for people who deserve it. Cold Callers and people who want money outta me get short shrift, as do shouty people in the street and rude people on forums or chatrooms.

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RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 8:39:10 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Courtesy is always necessary, However on discussion boards there are several problems. First is that different societal backgrounds, cultural backgrounds mean that what is courteous for one is obsequious for another. What is straight forward to one can be easily interpreted as unbearably rude by another. But beyond that is the fact that there are some people who assume anyone who does not confirm their own beliefs is attacking them.

I can disagree with your beliefs without being disrespectful to you but if you (general you Rain) are the sort who believes anyone who thinks differently is attacking you, then you will assume my disagreement is unbearably wrong.

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RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 9:44:09 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I try to give it.  I try to deserve it as well.

Not always successfully...


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RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 10:27:04 AM   
mdr080480


Posts: 4646
Joined: 2/20/2009
Status: offline 		I try to be as courteous as possible, I am a nice guy, really, I am, and I prefer to be so online and off.

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 11:45:24 AM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amoryblane

My father once said something like "There is nothing more important than having impeccable manners.  That way, when you decide to behave rudely toward someone who has earned it, no one will be able to say 'Oh, the fool didn't know any better', the affront and the insult you mean to cause will truly sting."


I think I would very much like your father.


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RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/4/2009 2:17:46 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: amoryblane

My father once said something like "There is nothing more important than having impeccable manners.  That way, when you decide to behave rudely toward someone who has earned it, no one will be able to say 'Oh, the fool didn't know any better', the affront and the insult you mean to cause will truly sting."


I think I would very much like your father.



Me also.

Discussing courtesy is like discussing respect. Different people with different ideas of what it means, when it should be used, etc. I just give up.


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RE: For DISCUSSION: Courtesy - 5/5/2009 5:40:08 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		fast reply

common courtesy is only bestowed upon a select (well-known) few - mho

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