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Moving on... - 5/4/2009 6:19:48 AM

berrysurprise

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I am interested to hear if anyone has any positive experiences moving on from a D/s relationship... a kind ending, is it possible?

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RE: Moving on... - 5/4/2009 6:32:54 AM

MissJanice2

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Of course it is possible to move from a bdsm relationship. You can go back to vanilla or find you another partner. It is just life in that retrospect.
I hope it all works out to your satisfaction.

Best Wishes,

Mistress_Jan

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RE: Moving on... - 5/4/2009 6:38:57 AM

SunNMoon

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Yes, we're still friends. We just didn't work right for that type of relationship.

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RE: Moving on... - 5/4/2009 6:45:43 AM

BossyShoeBitch

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Is a kind ending possible for a relationship? Of course it is, it just takes the people involved to make that decision. Just know that you will be mourning that relationship for a while and give yourself time to get over it.

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RE: Moving on... - 5/4/2009 7:11:50 AM

CatdeMedici

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I have a good ending from one, we weren't suited as D/s for a variety of timing life issues, but we are still dear dear friends who have a blast when we get together--as for others, realtionships will end here no differently than they do out there--though I do find that in BDSM--toward Me, because you aren't willing to still carry on that aspect, people don't even want to consider friendship--after.

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RE: Moving on... - 5/4/2009 7:15:59 AM

amoryblane

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quote:

ORIGINAL: berrysurprise

I am interested to hear if anyone has any positive experiences moving on from a D/s relationship... a kind ending, is it possible?

Just like with any other relationship, it depends on the people involved.

I've had kind endings. I also had some very unkind endings, the repercussions of which lasted for a long time after, but that was when I was younger and more careless about with whom I involved myself.

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RE: Moving on... - 5/4/2009 11:14:15 AM

ErikaTate1

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berrysurprise.... your post comes at a time where moving on is the descriptive term in My D/s relationship with a much loved sub. Because I have been dealing with a most mature/considerate and tender individual, he has helped make the parting very positive. I'm coming away with lessons learned, experience and growth.... all very positive. I think he would concur.

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RE: Moving on... - 5/4/2009 11:34:43 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: berrysurprise

I am interested to hear if anyone has any positive experiences moving on from a D/s relationship... a kind ending, is it possible?

We've been doing this for a very long time at our house. Because of that, we've got a long history of endings, smooth and rough. It is -very- possible to move on smoothly from a D/s relationship. Understanding that it is time to move on, and letting go of the situation without bitterness... yes, even still caring for/loving the other person/people involved, even though you're not in dynamic together... is all possible. It takes a great deal of maturity, and a willingness to understand that sometimes things end, not to be a personal attack against -us-, but because it is time for flow to shift. Many people take changes as a personal affront -- and that makes it much harder to move on without agony and drama. If the people involved can get past that need to make it a crisis rather than a natural transition for people or situations that have changed enough that the current dynamic doesn't work any more, it is possible to enter into the transition healthfully, and sometimes even with joy and anticipation for what may come next.

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RE: Moving on... - 5/4/2009 11:57:31 AM

sweetnurseBBW

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I have stayed friends with all but one dominant that I have been involved with.

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RE: Moving on... - 5/4/2009 1:57:22 PM

dreamerdreaming

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quote:

ORIGINAL: berrysurprise

I am interested to hear if anyone has any positive experiences moving on from a D/s relationship... a kind ending, is it possible?

Yes!

My Dom and I adore each other to this day.

I chose a career in which I travel a lot. So I moved away, went on with my life, went through a vanilla stage and then came back to D/s as a Domme.

People change. Circumstances change. Learn to see change (within and without you) as a good thing, and you will be able to embrace it, find the good in it, and move forward armed with the new knowledge.

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RE: Moving on... - 5/4/2009 4:59:48 PM

breatheasone

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i'm certain it happens....However i would have ZERO interest in being friends with an ex-lover/master/boyfriend whatever the term one would use.

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RE: Moving on... - 5/4/2009 9:38:38 PM

JoanieHoney2001

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Sir and I had a relationship with a Dom/switch for about a year. All of a sudden they seemed to fall of the face of the Earth. They did not respond to email or chat, I thought we had a very good dynamic going but I guess something went wrong. They just didn't resond to us again. I sincerely wish I knew what happened.

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RE: Moving on... - 5/4/2009 11:17:31 PM

LyraLaLaurie

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I'm close friends with three D/s exes and we still talk often about BDSM...it takes a few months to distance from the intensity of a break-up, but after that the inside jokes still hold true :)

One of the funniest things was my first kiss/handholding/going to the movies aaaawwww boyfriend when I was 13 turned out to be a hardcore sub. Our first conversation in forever turned to BDSM hilariously fast. Now he may want to session with me...very absurdist...I don't think I knew which way was up when we were "dating".

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RE: Moving on... - 5/5/2009 1:20:44 AM

GoddessTeaze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: berrysurprise

I am interested to hear if anyone has any positive experiences moving on from a D/s relationship... a kind ending, is it possible?

yes it's possible.
After a time of seperation, to let it all go out of My system,
We're back to being the dear friends, We we're during
Our relationship. Which is awesome.
No one will come between that bond ever.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`

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RE: Moving on... - 5/5/2009 1:41:42 AM

NihilusZero

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I tend to be of the mindset that many people near-force an amicable platonic relationship afterward for the sake of personal appearances (it seems to be more commonly perceived as 'mature' to at least attempt it). Each situation gets treated differently and usually the more the emotional investment in the relationship the more it's counter-proportional to the likelihood of it turning into a smooth post-break interaction.

Personally, I don't do well with relationship demotions and, unless there are circumstances where both parties have come to matching agreements on how things should change, seldom keep long-term friendships after the fact.

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RE: Moving on... - 5/5/2009 2:02:30 AM

Ialdabaoth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

I tend to be of the mindset that many people near-force an amicable platonic relationship afterward for the sake of personal appearances (it seems to be more commonly perceived as 'mature' to at least attempt it).

Which leads to a hilarious psychological game, wherein both parties pretend to be the ones trying hardest to "make a peaceful and friendly break-up", while simultaneously doing their damnedest to push all the buttons they've learned in the N-plus years they've been together, to orchestrate their ex into being the one to blow up, lose their cool, and be the one "at fault" for the whole situation.

Ahh, good times.

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RE: Moving on... - 5/5/2009 2:09:38 AM

NihilusZero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

Which leads to a hilarious psychological game, wherein both parties pretend to be the ones trying hardest to "make a peaceful and friendly break-up", while simultaneously doing their damnedest to push all the buttons they've learned in the N-plus years they've been together, to orchestrate their ex into being the one to blow up, lose their cool, and be the one "at fault" for the whole situation.

Ahh, good times.

Best chuckle of the week. Thanks.

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I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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RE: Moving on... - 5/5/2009 10:12:02 AM

army101

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Sure why not move on with grace? Have had some let downs and who hasnt, but have been proud to when my subs went on to a happy and fullfilling life afterwards.

Still get a warm feeling and hope they are still enjoying their lives. After all we are here to nurture and help each other right?

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RE: Moving on... - 5/5/2009 10:15:12 AM

breatheasone

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quote:

Which leads to a hilarious psychological game, wherein both parties pretend to be the ones trying hardest to "make a peaceful and friendly break-up", while simultaneously doing their damnedest to push all the buttons they've learned in the N-plus years they've been together, to orchestrate their ex into being the one to blow up, lose their cool, and be the one "at fault" for the whole situation.

Ahh, good times.

Yes....

it can be fun...

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RE: Moving on... - 5/5/2009 6:56:29 PM

SIRLOINSTEAK

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The easiest way I have found to break up is to just not talk to the person for awhile, eventually they get the message until you can formally break up with them. Say don't email/return calls etc for 6 months. Of course, its hard to be friends with someone with someone when you aren't talking to them. Eventually they lose their feelings for you, and you don't have to listen to the crying and emotional nonsense.....

Its not like has person gets a choice as the dumpee. I'm dumping you and this relationship, and its not a democratic decision. Instead of having to listen to them or explain why, stop talking to them seems the easiest if you aren't living together/aren't married/no kids involved. If either of these 3 things exist, it gets more hairy......

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