MichelleXdress
Posts: 2
Joined: 12/16/2006
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Yes, i believe it takes enormous courage to be a crossdresser. There are probably many crossdressers who never achieve the levels of courage to experience crossdressing as deeply as they'd like... so courage is certainly a factor. I used to tell myself a little mental joke to help me stroll into a women's store, or a wig store and admit that I wanted to but something.... I'd prod myself mentally by telling myself, "it takes balls to be a crossdresser"... and it does. Not only admitting to saleswomen that you want to see skirts in your size, or furtively grabbing cosmetics and bringing them to the counter in a drugstore... not only shopping to acquire the necessities. Putting yourself "out there", being honest about who you are and what makes you tick takes courage - and I mean admitting it to your wife or family, knowing that you're going to be judged. Admitting it to the public by going out all dressed up, maybe subjecting yourself to leers or catcalls. Though its been a few years, I used to go to CD clubs fully dressed, usually in Manhattan... and it took courage just to poke my head out of the dressing room to let the world see the first peek at me as Michelle. what will the men think of me, will they laugh, what will the women think of me, will they think I'm silly or foolish? It took the most unbeleivable amount of courage i could ever muster to finally sit down with my wife and try to explain it all to her. And one little experience stands out as an example of showing courage for me.... I went out one night several years ago, to a lesbian bar out on Long Island. It was the first time I had ever gone there, but I had heard they were trans-friendly, and I called and spoke to a sweet and kind woman who reassured me I'd be welcomed. There was a heavy fog that night, and I ended up parking my car about a block away from the door to the place. I'm walking up the street, with the click-clack of my heels echoing in the fog dampened stillness, and as I approach the entrance, there is a group of about 6 women standing around talking outside the doorway. I can imagine how I emerged out of the foggy night with my high heels making such a feminine sound... and the whole bunch of women stopped their conversation to look at me. They were all kind of burly looking, flannel shirts and work boots types... I was the only one around in stockings, heels and a skirt. And walking by them was maybe the most single terrifying moment of my life. maybe becaus ethey were all women, and I wanted to feel like a woman, maybe because I didn't knwo how they'd react, but my heart was racing.
It turned out that the place was very friendly, even though none of the women there were interested in me in the least. I had some nice conversations, and even got some advice and constructive criticism (don't make my breasts look so much like torpedoes, was good naturedly offered). I also had to scoot across 8th Ave one night in a skirt and 4" heels when the light changed quicker that I expected, but being run down by traffic is easy.... thats only physical fear, and easily overcome.
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RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 
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