RE: Losing the Wiggle (Full Version)

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whimzgirl -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/7/2009 5:55:26 AM)

quote:

"I have no limits,My Master does. I take on his limits."


Zechriel -- thank you so much for sharing that quote!  That is just what I needed this morning.  I am extremely nervous and excited about today.  I will use this as my mantra!!

lovingpet -- what a sweet response!  You are so right about the road to trust.  I'm finding that my trust of My Master grows with everyday and every step down that road - especially the difficult steps.  In the beginning I wanted to question everything but now I see that all He's done has only resulted in me becoming stronger.  This strength not only applies to my service to Him but in my everyday interactions with the world.

Well...I'm off for some difficult steps down my road today!

Hugs,

gabby




breatheasone -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/7/2009 6:15:58 AM)

~FR~~..... i hope this goes well for you. Part of me is a little concerned for you....maybe i'm just being a mother hen though




lovingpet -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/7/2009 7:50:45 AM)

It is a comfort to know I am not the only one going into new places and doing hard things.  I feel, as with myself, all of us who have expressed going through some especially hard adjustments will be coming back here quite thankful for the journey. 

I wish you well whimzgirl!  I would love an update!  Hugs to all!

lovingpet




lally2 -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/7/2009 10:54:13 AM)

OOooooo, i so know what youre talking about here!

ill agree that once the wiggle room has been taken away youre stuffed and you have to accept it. 

i just try to focus on how much itll please my Owner and not focus so much on how much i find the idea/activity difficult.  i tell myself that i will give it my best shot and thats all that He is asking of me.  that by not making a real effort im holding Him back from what He wishes and what He has planned and i would be more uncomfortable with that, to be honest.

at the moment i am struggling with having to speak to Sir in third person.  i have had all sorts of private tantrums and internal furies going on with this today.  ive turned to a couple on CM to help me find a way through the intellectual difficulty this is presenting to me.  im working on it.

in the end all you can do is youre best and find a way to accept it.  sometimes acceptance doesnt come that easy, sometimes we have to really work hard to find it.

good luck.




lovingpet -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/7/2009 7:45:07 PM)

Thank you for this and that is what this whole thing is trying to get at.  I am afraid of going on and on until suddenly I find that I have derailed plans he has for me/us with my foolishness.  I don't want to disappoint or be less than what he desires for me to be.  I don't want to get so nuts about things just because they are difficult.  No one ever said I would be dealing with it all alone.  I know he will be with me each and every step of the way.  We're in this together.  Now if I can just remember that, things might be a bit easier to handle. 

Thanks!

lovingpet




Aileen1968 -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/7/2009 7:46:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

How do you cope with losing your wiggle


Hahaha. He'd probably be sad.




lovingpet -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/7/2009 7:49:28 PM)

LOL!!!!  Thanks for that!  [8D]

lovingpet




marysdream -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/7/2009 9:19:38 PM)

sorry cannot relate to "wiggling" ....not in my vocabulary.....seems like a very passive aggressive approach.. but i guess with some it is "cute"
ree




lovingpet -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/7/2009 9:29:10 PM)

I am not talking about taking a level of control by manipulation.  I am talking about that which is already agreed upon and openly exercised. When this is renegotiated to lessen that control there is an adjustment period   I don't think that is uncommon. 

I would like to hear more about this passive aggressiveness.  If I am guilty, I would like to address the issue.

lovingpet




catize -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/7/2009 9:44:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

I am not talking about taking a level of control by manipulation.  I am talking about that which is already agreed upon and openly exercised. When this is renegotiated to lessen that control there is an adjustment period   I don't think that is uncommon. 

I would like to hear more about this passive aggressiveness.  If I am guilty, I would like to address the issue.

lovingpet


My understanding of your OP is that
a,) your dominant let this issue sit on the back burner to give you time to adjust to the idea 
b,) for awhile he allowed you to say you weren’t quite ready (that was the wiggle) 
c,) he recently informed you that he has determined it is time to ‘just do it’ (so no more wiggle allowed! )
and
d.) all you have asked here is help in dealing with the anxiety it is causing you.
I don’t see any passive aggressive stuff there at all!




lovingpet -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/8/2009 5:53:28 AM)

Thank you catize!  I don't see it personally, but thought perhaps since someone did see that, maybe it could be explained in a way so that I could get it.  I really am not interesting in playing games and trying to find my way around this.  I just have my own feelings about it and am trying to make peace with it.  And I happen to think I've come a long way since my OP much less in the course of my journey!

I am actually quite calm at this point.  I've taken some time to just breathe and relax, remind myself of his history with me and why it is I trust him, and shifted my focus from myself and my insecurities to him and his steady guidance.  I think that's a pretty big inventory to take in a few days.  That or I could just simply be suffering from exaughstion.  LOL

lovingpet




lally2 -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/8/2009 8:41:01 AM)

i think a wiggle or a wobble every now and again is perfectly natural and normal.  and its at those times that i find myself really looking at why im in the dynamic im in and from that, some level of reinforcement comes along.

heading into something scary ignites the fight and flight instinct everyone possesses.  for youre Master and youre submission to youre Master to overcome that wiggly wobble is testamant to how strong you guys are together.

.. and it enables you to reach the calm place youve got to, when you realise all avenues of escape are closed and all you can do is accept it and do youre best.  actually, i think thats when submission becomes more than just an instinctive desire in you to please and serve.  it actually becomes a mindful process where you hand it all over and just trust.  i think thats beautiful [:)]

i hope it all goes really well for youreself and youre Master.




whimzgirl -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/8/2009 9:25:39 AM)

Good morning!  This post is quickly becoming very instructive to me!!  Thank you everyone for sharing your insights and to lovingpet for initially posting this. 

lovingpet -- I had my interaction with My Master yesterday and I was extremely nervous to the point where I nearly made myself sick.  He was so patient with me but at the same time pushed me hard and didn't let me wiggle out of my responsibilities.  I ended up having an unbelievably enjoyable day with Him that I will remember for the rest of my life and I crossed hurdles that I believe are some of the most important not only for my relationship with My Master but for my continued self improvement.  I'm finding that my struggling against my lessons really only hurts me in the long run.  It sounds like you've come to a place where tomorrow has great potential for your growth as well.  I continue to wish you the best tomorrow and will be thinking of you.  Be sure and come back to let us know how it went and what you learned.

lally -- Thank you so much for your response!  I love your statement "when submission becomes more than just an instinctive desire in you to please and serve.  it actually becomes a mindful process where you hand it all over and just trust."  I too feel that is a beautiful place to be and one I am working towards myself.

Hugs,

gabby




lovingpet -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/8/2009 10:24:34 AM)

The funny part is that I am not even remotely okay with "it", the task I have before me.  It is that I am at peace in US and HIM and that is what really matters.  The particulars have faded into a much larger picture and those details are but a speck in it.  It really has had to become a willful giving at this point because I wanted to cling to it so badly.  I can choose to cling to my control or to his, but not both. 

I am glad your day went so well yesterday whimzgirl!  As you can read, we were all thinking about you.  I am so happy you managed to overcome your misgivings and reap such wonderful rewards.  It speaks a great much about your relationship and helps you be  more sure of your submission and place.  Congratulations darling!  *hugs*

lovingpet




breatheasone -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/8/2009 10:37:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

The funny part is that I am not even remotely okay with "it", the task I have before me.  It is that I am at peace in US and HIM and that is what really matters.  The particulars have faded into a much larger picture and those details are but a speck in it.  It really has had to become a willful giving at this point because I wanted to cling to it so badly.  I can choose to cling to my control or to his, but not both. 

I am glad your day went so well yesterday whimzgirl!  As you can read, we were all thinking about you.  I am so happy you managed to overcome your misgivings and reap such wonderful rewards.  It speaks a great much about your relationship and helps you be  more sure of your submission and place.  Congratulations darling!  *hugs*

lovingpet

lovingpet as i have read this thread my heart has dropped to my feet and stayed there for you. i am SO sorry you being put through this. It is my prayer that it doesnt harm you mentally or emotionally. i feel like i am watching someone walk toward a busy intersection and being told... "Don't worry i'll be ok."  by the person doing the walking.[:(]




lovingpet -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/8/2009 11:28:51 AM)

With written word being a sometime very hard medium, please read this with as much tenderness as possible.  I am so blessed to have people concerned for my well being and truly guarding over me from afar.  It is wonderful to think someone who I don't even know personally cares that much about me.  It means a lot.

I have come to a place where I can honestly say I am sorry for having put myself through such turmoil.  I could have come to this place long ago and had a quiet assurance, but I just had to fight and get upset and struggle.  We have spent hours and hours the past few days working through all my feelings and all my reasons why not.  I have talked to good friends and listened to the dispassionate advice of others.  I have looked within to my motives and the source of it all.  I might not do as well as I would like for him, but it is not going to be from a lack of effort or trust.  It will be because he determines that it is not yet time and I have more growing to do.  I know deep down this will not happen if he ever begins to think it will do me actual harm.  All I have left to do is be me as honestly as I can be.  He will do the rest.

lovingpet 




SummerWind -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/8/2009 11:39:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

How do you cope with losing your wiggle?

I'm pretty sure I'd find her




whimzgirl -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/8/2009 12:33:12 PM)

quote:

I have come to a place where I can honestly say I am sorry for having put myself through such turmoil. I could have come to this place long ago and had a quiet assurance, but I just had to fight and get upset and struggle.


But I find that the journey through the struggle teaches me so much more than just giving in and burying my fears.  I'm sure you are finding the same sweet sister!

Hugs,

gabby




lovingpet -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/8/2009 1:15:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SummerWind

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

How do you cope with losing your wiggle?

I'm pretty sure I'd find her


Hehe!!!  Kinda what I'm afraid of [8D]

lovingpet




lovingpet -> RE: Losing the Wiggle (5/8/2009 1:21:50 PM)

whimzgirl:  I am finding that right now it is the fight through all my fears and doubts that makes the journey so very sweet.  I think though, as time goes by, it is the ability to rest in the serenity of my partner's control that will be that which keeps me in his hand.  I am far from that place, but I do see glimmers of it as I get closer to the other side of this current trial.  I know what you mean by learning through the struggles, but I don't think the alternative is burying the fear.  It is releasing it to one who can be trusted to handle it with care and dissipate it in one word....MINE.

lovingpet




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