RE: Losing the Wiggle

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/8/2009 2:51:10 PM

whimzgirl

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quote:

It is releasing it to one who can be trusted to handle it with care and dissipate it in one word....MINE

That is so true! I don't know if you read the Gorean board but there's a discussion over there that I've been commenting on about no limits that goes right along with what we've been discussing here. You might check it out too.

Hugs,

gabby

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/8/2009 2:55:48 PM

lovingpet

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Huggles!!!!

lovingpet

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/8/2009 3:27:03 PM

newgirl83

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

This is something I have asked for, but that I also dread in the same breath.

I have felt the same way about many things in life, from getting started in BDSM, meeting someone for the first time or starting a new job. It can be scary to do something new, even when it is what you really want. I'm excited for opportunity, but nervous because it's unfamiliar territory. I often go for what I want, but when it starts to become real and I'm face to face with it, then I get scared/nervous and find an excuse to back out. I need someone that can push me forward when I get nervous.

< Message edited by newgirl83 -- 5/8/2009 3:32:39 PM >

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/8/2009 4:24:13 PM

persephonee

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So, its Friday....lovingpet...are you curled into a ball of apprehension in your walkin closet yet?....Muahahaaaaa!!! ~evilperse

Actually, i know it wont help with the anxiety over this particular event...but what i find helpful is to have something mentioned that its going to happen at some point....and then dropped til i completely forget all about it....i mean, since i have the attention span of a gerbil on crack, its fairly easy to pull the wool over my eyes in that respect...and it hasnt quite happened yet in my relationship with Master....but in the past, i hear the directive...have time to process it and accept that someday wayyyyyyy in the future this is going to happen...and then i promptly forget all about it....until BAM...suddenly, its time....then i recall that i have already processed that and accepted that its happening, and now all i can do is accept it.

idk, would that be more or less helpful?

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You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/8/2009 4:30:49 PM

lovingpet

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Actually, I like evil perse's idea better!

Unfortunately, I have a habit of perseverating on things in the extreme. My attention span is so long I am still thinking about the deeper meanings behind See Spot Run for goodness sakes. And, if I am not mistaken, aren't you on my turf this weekend perse??? muhahahahaha!!!!!!!!

lovingpet

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/8/2009 7:42:17 PM

persephonee

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Youre coming to Kentucky to get your ass kicked?....or are you going to red's b-day extraveganza?...

Either way, hope you are coping!

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/8/2009 7:44:47 PM

lovingpet

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I will sooo be in DC getting my ass kicked......oooooo yummy!!!!! Did I answer your question?

lovingpet

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/9/2009 11:33:45 AM

whimzgirl

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perse -- "gerbil on crack" -- OMG -- that is so me!! I'm pretty sure My Master will read this and totally agree!

lovingpet -- thinking of you today and sending strong vibes of control and compassion your way!!

Hugs,

gabby

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Post #: 48

RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/9/2009 1:29:34 PM

lovingpet

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Thankies one and all!!! I'm off to be pervy! Will be thinking of you guess... while I still have control of my brain

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lovingpet

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/10/2009 5:56:10 AM

whimzgirl

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lovingpet -- I was thinking of you yesterday and woke up wondering how you are doing today. My son is driving down to spend some time with me for Mother's Day today so I might not be back on until late this evening but I will definitely check in on you.

Hugs,

gabby

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/10/2009 7:35:52 AM

chamberqueen

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I know it's after the fact now, but for the next time something like this comes up I'd like to share with you one of the most valuable lifestyle lessons I've learned: The task/action itself is rarely anywhere near as difficult as our fears in advance would lead us to believe. There were things I was so afraid of in advance that I was making myself sick to my stomach, but when I went through with them it was like, "This is no big deal. What was I so afraid for?". Our partners often see strengths in us that we do not see in ourselves, and if they are truly trustworthy (as you feel yours is) will keep a close eye out to make sure you get through it just fine.

I hope you ended up having a wonderful time and that you can keep that in mind the next time you feel you have no wiggle room. : )

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/10/2009 7:59:42 AM

kiwisub12

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A wise man told me once that worrying about the inevitable doesn't change anything - but wears out the worrier. So I have given myself permission not to worry excessively - notice that i didn't say i wasn't going to worry, but that i would limit my worrying.

The scariest thing i ever did was go to my Sirs house and know that the first thing i was going to have to do is strip off - for a man i didn't know very well at all. I didn't think about it too much at all - because it was inevitable. I wanted to do it, Sir was waiting - and if i wimped out, i would be missing more than i knew.

One thing i do when i am faced with a situation that i have to get through - as apposed to a situation i am comfortable in - is that others have done the same, and damned if i am going to be less than them!

So ....................... how did your scene go???????????????????????????????????????????????????/

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/11/2009 10:26:34 AM

lovingpet

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I just got home a couple of hours ago. I have to say I am very thankful for all the support and care shown to me throughout this time. This thing, though always a bit of a trial for many, was a giant for me. It tested us both from beginning to end. I have a lot to credit him with and you here on the boards as well. It has meant so much!

We went and enjoyed the company of friends for a little while. I got a chance to kind of show him around the club, since he had not been to this one before. He approached each piece of equipment noting what was possible with it and checking for signs of wear or damage. I gave my best go at delaying, changing his mind, or otherwise making a wiggle where I knew perfectly well there was none to be had. He was gracious enough to not hold my nerves against me and just clarified what I already knew. This WAS going to happen.

He gave a little introductory early on. Just an idea of what was going to be happening. When it was time, he helped me focus, assured me, held me as I cried (yes, it was that bad at first). I was so scared and so upset because I was just sure that was it and I would have disappointed him. He saw to everything and made me feel absolutely safe in his hands. I know I grew. I know we grew together. I wouldn't trade it and I know there is much more to come for us.

I am a little too out of myself to determine where I wanted this thread to go or what I want anyone to take away from it. I know that the biggest thing in all this was trust for each other working together. It was the trust that allowed all the other things to fall into place. We communicated as we did because we could trust. By trusting, we both discovered just how much respect we should have for each other. It was trust that let me jump and it was trust that had him believe he could teach me to fly. It was also trust that would have caught us at the bottom had things not gone the way we hoped. I am glad to have enjoyed the ride and learned so much from it. I only hope this thread has been the light to others that it has been to me.

lovingpet

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/11/2009 4:49:39 PM

whimzgirl

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Beautiful!! I'm sort of floating in a subspace moment this afternoon myself so after I return to earth I'll be back to post a better reply. Mmmm...submissiveness...what a wonderful thing!

Hugs,

gabby

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/12/2009 5:16:49 PM

Scotty306134

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Hi Lovingpet I know I'm a little late with this, but I thought I'd post it anyway. From Your postings I assume You went to the Crucible in DC. From the times I've been there Frazier and His group have been really helpful, friendly and enjoyable people to be around. I was extremely shy and modest when I was first introduced to BDSM. My first 'play' was being led up on stage in a small thong in front of several hundred people to be auctioned in a 'slave' auction. I got through by focusing totally on the MC controlling the bidding and completely ignoring the audience. I stayed focused on Her even when She bent me over and administered a mild spanking to increase the bidding. Later while playing with my 'buyer' I was completly naked and bent over a 'horse' being paddled in front of dozens of onlookers. Before each of these activites I was extremely nervous and shaking so bad I could hardly stand up! However focusing on my Domme and ignoring the onlookers got me through it. That weekend turned out to be the most enjoyable expierence of my life at that time. I hope You have many more great expierences in Your travels. Scotty

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/12/2009 6:45:23 PM

lovingpet

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Thanks for this! I did find that the more I could manage to keep close with my partner, the less the rest mattered. It still mattered, but I knew where to draw comfort and strength for the task ahead of me. This was only my second time to the Crucible as submissive and the first was a disaster for many reasons. I enjoy myself quite well when I am there as dominant. I grew greatly this weekend, however.

lovingpet

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/16/2009 2:22:42 AM

HatesParisHilton

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Damn, I thought this was a thread about "not losing the wiggle", like not losing the jiggle".

Then again, with *my* username, that's what I'd always think.

But to be ANTI troll (since being a troll is to negatively waylay a thread, and I wanna try the opposite), I'll do my best to offer a wee bit of "maybe this will help a bit"...

Sometimes, we have to accept - for our emotional health, whether top/bottom, gay/straight, dom/sub, Brit or French, choose you metaphor...

That there will be circumstances in which there will be NO wiggle room.

If someone is totally into assplay/reaming and the other is not (at all), no amount of "negotiation" is gonna help there. There are some aspects of eros where - simply due to the way nerve endings work - "talking it out" don't mean squat. And that's "wiggle room" by my understanding of the term (both politically and sexually). There comes a point where you are more Libertarian than moderate Republican, more "Green" than extreme Democrat, and sometimes, "I like the idea of a finger rubbing me there but not even the pinky goes inside, thank you".

And if the dom in question NEEDS "The Ottoman Scene" from the first third of "The Story of O" by Pauline Riage (whom writes about HARD/NASTY/no lube anal for female subs) and the sub is into "The Beauty Series" by Anne Rice, wellllll...

no wiggle room there, sorry.

It IS something to be considered. Like people who claim to like a spanking, and to THEM that means a feather flogger on the butt for an hour, and the potential partner is more "British" rather than "San Fran" and thinks of fesse as a wooden hairbrush, no mercy, for 10 minutes (much more burny and "owwww" than any flogger crap, no offense).

When wondering about wiggle room, these sorts of things *will* come up, and should be given fair and equal weight.

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RE: Losing the Wiggle - 5/16/2009 8:03:26 AM

lovingpet

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I agree, sometimes there is just no room for negotiations. Sometimes, it is just beyond what the other person can consider. The problem in this senario, is that I had expressed a desire for this and wanted to be pushed. I did not quite anticipate how difficult it was going to wind up being. I am glad we did it, but I am glad at least that very first time is behind me now.

Oh, and you are free to observe my wiggle as much as you like!