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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn
I'm glad to hear that your relationship is a strong one, and I hope it continues to grow. I wanted to comment on what you said about "preconceived nilla notions of reciprocal sexual relations". I don't think that the idea of mutual sexual satisfaction has to disappear in a D/s relationship. I wouldn't be in a relationship with my sub if we both weren't satisfied in some way, including sexually. That does not mean that he will be allowed sexual release all of the time, or that I won't take what I want, when I want it, but he has shared that even though he doesn't get physical sexual satisfaction all of the time, he still is "satisfied" by knowing that he is enduring that "tension" for me.
It sounds like you both have taken care to nurture your D/s relationship, and I would encourage you to relax and enjoy it thouroughly, without putting any pressure on yourselves to conform to any particular style, other than your own.
Be well,
Julie
I read a signature in here shortly after Mi'Lady allowed me to join. I forget the exact phrase, but it went something like this. To become a truly good submissive you have to forget what drew you to it in the first place. I forget for the life of me who's signature it was, but it struck me as so true. That is how I feel. It is not about me, it is all about Mi'Lady and how she feels. That is where I feel my satisfaction. In knowing that she is in complete control of me, that she recieves what she desires. I am but secondary to her. I love it when she is as happy and satisfied as I can make her.
We have developed a strong relationship with a community leader and we would not be where we are now if it were not for her. So we do put some credence into others opinions and or ideas. But in the end, after careful experimentation, we either adopt it or shelve it. We base the worth of the advice on how it pertains to or works for us. We love so much of what we have found out here, we could never conform to just one way of doing anything. We take little bits from here and there and make it our own. It just seems to feel better that way.
Thanks for your comments.
quote:
ORIGINAL:veronicaofML
alright. hang on here.
1st
explain the EXACT dynamics of said mentioned relationship.
in MY service only...She gets more "attention" because She and i do not share anything "together".
it is about HER..the house, vanilla hubby and 2 dogs.
while i am left alone, to tend to myself.
what are YOUR dynamics...do you just sit around on your butt and wait for playtime?
or do you DO things for Her?
isn't this supposed to be----------about give n take?
take care
I may have read it in to you reply a little to much, but why so aggressive?
The dynamics or our relationship are, Mi'Lady and I were married 13 years ago. We had two children and did the dirty deed saturday nights. If we were able to stay up late enough to do it. Just over a year ago we began having some sexual and marital disfunction and neither of us were very happy. WE went looking for some cayenne pepper for our bedroom. and found this lifestyle. We read, we learned, we read some more, we talked to each other and members of the community. Now we not only scene weekly with one another, but our love life is as good as or better then when we were dating.
When we started down this funny little road, if someone stopped and asked me if I would become Mi'Lady's slave, I would have laughed until I wet myself. Dispite the fact that I have always worshipped her.
Now just over a year later, I am a registered, collared slave. Both Mi'Lady and I work for a BDSM web site and we continue to ask questions of each other and others. Primarily to learn about each and every facet of the lifestyle and stay open with each other. The first thing we learnt, was you can not stop learning.
As for your last question, if it can be called that, because it sounds more like a judgement. Is no, but, Mi'Lady would actually seem submissive to me, to the casual observer though. But that is because I am naturaly a dominant male, but subserviant to women in general(it would be easy for most women to get me to do what they wish, within limits that have been set out by Mi'Lady, lol). I own a business in an extremely "male" industy, Mi'Lady is the quintessential "Suzy homemaker" and looks after me and our boys quite lavishly. Almost to a gorean level(without the scant clothing and sexual content) For the most part, I do little more then the typical "manly" things around our home, and work to make her and my childrens life easier and better then the one I had as a kid.
I think the trade off there is fair and equal. My gift to her is my undying love and submission. Sexually she is free to explore her desires,(no we are not swingers and Mi'Lady has no desire to scene with other males sexually)Mi'Lady is bi sexual and like most men, this does not up set me, even though my participation is not always guaranteed or required.
Does that answer your questions?
_____________________________
Collared, caged and the sole property of Lady Elizabeth.
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