First submissive urges

First submissive urges (Full Version)

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Aileen68 -> First submissive urges (2/4/2006 8:44:29 AM)
In response to the first urges thread under Ask A Dominant. What were your first urges as you realized that you were submissive? Did you act on them? Did you understand them? How did or didn't they satisfy you?

windy135 -> RE: First submissive urges (2/4/2006 9:27:28 AM)
I'm sure there were always signs that I covered up some how. But In my teens I had rape fantasies. I can remember thinking there must be something wrong with me to want such a thing. Then I dated a guy who was pretty dominate in the bedroom and didn't even know it. This turned me on to such a point that I knew being submissive was something deep inside me. I knew then that submission was something I could not conceal.

fastlane -> RE: First submissive urges (2/4/2006 10:20:13 AM)
Aileen, I love submissive women.....for the record! any one have submissive pets....animals, that is...I have two cats that lower their eyes when I bath them....so weird, but then again..me too! Who the fuck washes cats? Peace, Kevin

MyCaptainsPet -> RE: First submissive urges (2/4/2006 10:48:02 AM)
i've always had the urge to please people and do for others, but i'm not sure if that's part of my submissive side or just what happens from being the middle child. i've also always been the one to submit to authority and to extend excessive respect to everyone. Sexually, my early teens were interesting. i've always had an extreamly kinky side, masterbated to odd fantasies way before i really knew what i was doing it for. Once i started having partners, every time i verbalized these fantasies or encouraged this type of "play" they'd go cold and run.. i thought something was wrong with me. But, all that aside i've never really realized i had a strong, real, submissive side until i met my Captain. He has a strong, very dominant personality and i felt comfortable just submitting to him and his wishes. The longer we've been involved, the stronger my urges have become and the more i've let them out. Guess it's just kind of been a steady learning process and once the right person came along the little sub in me was able to spread her wings and grow.

littleone35 -> RE: First submissive urges (2/4/2006 11:01:47 AM)
I had enjoyed doing for others but i never realized i was submissive until i met my late master. We were friends first and we talked for a while and i had told him stuff aboutt me and he said to me one day i think you are a subbmissive i said no i am not. e gave me some links to read and i realized it was what i felt all my life and i WAS a submissive what a relief to know i was normal. littleone

Mercnbeth -> RE: First submissive urges (2/4/2006 11:08:49 AM)
quote: What were your first urges as you realized that you were submissive? this slave can't remember NOT having submissive urges. so, it wasn't so much realizing submissive urges, but coming to the conclusion that it is perfectly OK NOT having dominant ones that took much time, effort and energy. different aspects of participation in vanilla society(in general) expect one to take a dominant role(could be at work, parenting, vanilla based marriages,etc.) to which this slave had to work very hard to learn to "act" in dominant roles~but it in no way made this slave have dominant urges, in life or behind the closed bedroom/dungeon door. strictly sexually speaking, before becoming owned, this slave sought to be dominated by every partner she ever had~ALL of this slave's sexual fantasies before involving anyone else in them had this slave in total submission. this slave submitted to the partners that wanted her to "top" from time to time, but those relationships were generally short-lived.

trueshadow -> RE: First submissive urges (2/4/2006 11:25:43 AM)
When I was seven or so. We were playing cowboys and Indians, and I was 'captured'. I wanted to kneel before my female captor and submit to her. I didn't question my feelings, which of course were pre-sexual, but I continued to have these fantasies with a greater and greater sexual content as I grew older. Genetic? Environmental? Both? Who knows.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: First submissive urges (2/4/2006 12:34:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 In response to the first urges thread under Ask A Dominant. What were your first urges as you realized that you were submissive? Did you act on them? Did you understand them? How did or didn't they satisfy you? The first urge I had that I consider an undeniable example of purely submissive behaviour was provoking my boyfriend at 16 to spank me. NOT for sexual reasons...but in public, for bratty behaviour. I can clearly recall the thought process that it would prove he loved me if cared enough to correct my behaviour. I recall that I was 100% positive this was a final and non-negotiable test of his feelings for me. He did...and I loved and served him (not in a healthy way) for 4 years, even though most of the time he was with other women and I was his "friend". So yes, in a way it was satisfying, because I felt comforted to be treated in what I considered an appropriate loving manner. Cin

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: First submissive urges (2/4/2006 12:46:04 PM)
Hmmm...In re-reading the OP I can see I missed the point a tad... I first actually recognized what I was when a lover held down my arms during rough sex. I was 22 and no one had ever done anything remotely like it before. What went through my brain was: Holy crap, this is what has been missing! Oh my gawd, I'm one of those people I read about in Penthouse forum who want to be tied up and controlled! Oh st!** That's pretty much a direct mental quote...LOL Was it satisfying? No. Because the poor boy misread my expression, thought he'd done something horribly, terribly wrong and let go. Damnit. I was too shy and too stunned to ask him to do it again. The experience didn't re-occur until I was 40. ::sigh:: There are some moments in our life that we wish we could live over again and do it differently...That's one of mine. Cin

Firmmaster4u -> RE: First submissive urges (2/4/2006 2:38:25 PM)
it sounds like you and your late master had a very special relationship that no one new could ever hope to have with you he was a lucky man and master

LessThanKate -> RE: First submissive urges (2/4/2006 7:07:40 PM)
I love this forum! This has got to be one of my all-time favorite threads. I read the thread in the Ask A Master forum too... I, too, began with rape fantasies at an early age. R/t I'm an assertive (almost bossy), strong woman, but in bed I need to beg. I used to imagine being held down, a man's weight on top of me, and masturbate to these ideas, all the while thinking I was dirty and wrong. Turns out lots of people actually do it, so I embrace it! The first time it ever actually occurred though I was probably 16, and I asked my boyfriend to tie me up and have his way with me. He was ecstatic, no problems there.

SweetEscravo -> RE: First submissive urges (2/6/2006 6:38:03 PM)
I can't think of a time when I didn't want to be submissive. All throughout my young childhood, I was the servant in games, and was always happy to make others happy. I think I started actually thinking about it in a sexual way when I was 12ish, and just before 14 it exploded out of me. I will always remember the first time I heard the term "BDSM" on a website (it was actually dailyconfession.com, where a woman was confessing her own submissive feelings because she was disturbed by them) and I just had a revelation right there at the computer. I couldn't believe that there were other people in the world who had these thoughts. And the rest is history...

PenelopePitstop -> RE: First submissive urges (2/9/2006 1:24:21 PM)
I was a right pervy child. I used to fantasise about doing naughty things with the gym equipment at school. I used to come over all funny at any mention of bondage. I loved my Dragons book full of naked ladies chained to rocks. There was some good stuff in my illustrated bible too. This was from about age 4 or whenever I became fully aware: its always been there, but ... I thought it was wrong, it was discouraged in me by my parents who thought I was some sort of deviant -I remember feeling so incredibly guilty about it that it frankly screwed me up for 20 years. I believe sexual preferences are innate. I was sexually precocious - I used to relieve myself as a baby but I never knew what this wonderful feeling was. It was always there, I just never had a name for it until my teens.

seaturtle50 -> RE: First submissive urges (2/9/2006 1:46:04 PM)
quote: What were your first urges as you realized that you were submissive? Did you act on them? Did you understand them? How did or didn't they satisfy you? Well i cannot answer this question per se as at the time i did not in fact realize i was of a submissive nature. It was just natural feelings, not realization about them <i was too young for that really> i grew up in the early 60's <the 60's Yea!> and Women of the day still wore stockings. Not pantyhose <not invented yet [;)]> i recall being completely enthralled by the stockings, the curve of a Woman’s leg, the heels, the seemingly total femininity of it all, et all. <Dedicated leg man ever since> In thinking back - i suppose that maybe in fact there was some sort of a realization at the time. There was a "perception" of the "power" of the Woman's femininity. Even as a young male, i could tell i was no match for that ... and quickly prioritized Women as my foremost desire. Always wanted to please them ever since. st50 <Oh, stockings everywhere, every single day ... as far as the little eye can see!>

keptcaged -> RE: First submissive urges (2/10/2006 11:09:09 AM)
First, a nod to trueshadow and Seaturtle respectively. Same era, the 60's. i was involved in similar games. Cowboys and Indians, Pirates, Combat, Secret AGents (Girl From Uncle!) and would lay awake at night and fantasize about being captured and slapped around by a girl. (remeber, early 80's Golden Earring video of Twilight Zone with 3 interogatresses????) i told a therapist one timeof a girl tying me up at the age of 5 or 6 and i LOVED it. He said that was impossible unless i had been abused. i don't remember any abuse. AT age 8 i would play "horse" almost every day after school with a 7 yo girl. She would ride me and whip me with a dowel. Later we found the unusual pleasure of me folding my hands together while she melted candle wax over them until there was a huge blob of hardened wax. She later became a nun. And the feet, hose, heels....YEAH.....i was like 8! First masterbation i rolled myself up in a comforter, mummy-like and humped the bed while watching Agent 99 on Get Smart. These days i look at Kelly Rippas toe cleavage in those black pumps and just sigh. If i were Regis i'd have wood all morning! :>

Manja -> RE: First submissive urges (2/10/2006 11:24:18 PM)
I was younger than 10. I was told that a local boy was molested in the woods behind my house by other boys his own age. This is still odd to me, for I am a sexual submissive, but even at this young age I would see the boy who was molested riding his bike and have fantasies of leading him off into the woods and laying naked on top of him. Nothing more than that, just - being in control. This was BEFORE I heard he had been molested. Can a submissive, even at such a young age, give off such strong signals that other boys his own age, including a submissive such as myself, will be drawn towards dominating him? When I heard what had been done, it was like a confession of my own fantasies towards him. I heard that local kids stripped him naked, made him blow them, and peed on him. I was only 8 or 9, and I was authentically appalled. I even confronted the kids who had supposedly did it to him. And yet...and yet - I would masturbate thinking about it being done to me. In my fantasies I would want it! To be dominated and naked and helpless and on my knees! What was I to make of this? It still messes with me, and I am 38! Some theorize submissive tendencies as forms of low self-esteem, as if you are "set free" to be what you really are in these encounters. My experience is the opposite. I am so fundamentally confident and not afraid that I seek the feeling of danger and "helplessness" as a thrill and a charge, kind of like how the skydiver does not want to die, but to live, and feels alive in the presence of this rush. I get a skydiving type rush out of submitting to dominant, kinky people who will play with me and make me their toy. It gets me off more than any drug can, and when it is over, not only do I NOT feel like a lesser person, but sometimes I feel "superior", for I was the one who took the greatest risk, and did so voluntarily. Obviously I am still trying to figure it out. Manja

Manja -> RE: First submissive urges (2/10/2006 11:33:13 PM)
Another take on the theme. A friend of mine lived next door to brothers who would often fight. The older brother would hold the younger one down and spit repeatedly into his mouth. I was truly disgusted and even frightened by this. The older brother who did this found out how I felt and used to threaten me with it. He would walk by and open his mouth, hocking up spit in a threatening manner. The thing is, I was truly disgusted, and yet - once again - I would masturbate furiously thinking about him doing this to me. In my fantasy I would fight at first, and then give in, opening my mouth wider and wider to eagerly recieve his spit. I wish he had followed thru on his threat! I always wanted people, guys or girls, to overwhelm me, to treat me like a piece of meat. This is so incongruous with the rest of my life as to make the heads of those who think they know me spin. Manja

BitaTruble -> RE: First submissive urges (2/11/2006 1:09:49 AM)
quote: What were your first urges as you realized that you were submissive? Did you act on them? Did you understand them? How did or didn't they satisfy you? Way back when the dinosaurs walked the Earth... lol.. My first 'urges' had not a thing to do with submission. I was the epitome of DO ME, DO ME NOW! I'm quite sure I'd have been raked over the coals if the Internet had existed. lol Blindfolds and bondage baby. I used to tie my wrists together at night with my socks when I was a little bitty kid and sleep that way very content and peaceful. I'd pull my nightgown up over my eyes or use my extra pillow as a blindfold and it was bliss. I have always been nurturing, always had to be the 'mommy' when we played house, the teacher when we played school and stuff like that. It wasn't until I met my first Master and had my very first r/t scene with another living, breathing human that I realized how important the service aspects were to me. Things sort of turned from Do me, do me.. to.. what can I do 'for' you so you'll DO ME, DO ME NOW! Tit for tat and ain't nothing in life free. That worked for a while, but after getting everything I wanted, I discovered there was still an element missing from it all. My ego was so fucking huge. Hell, I was young, rather nice to look at and there weren't any other women around doing what I was doing so I got a lot of attention and it all went to my head. It also got really boring really fast. Very unsatisfying and demoralizing being so self-centered and all and, of course, knowing that I was. Never really worked until I found that service actually was it's own reward, which was at least 4 or 5 years after I'd been the resident girl-bend-over at the drop of a hat. When I started to grow and learn more about myself, and started to give of myself, that's when the beauty came into my life and self-acceptance and true peace. Sounds pretty damn corny now that I'm actually typing it, but I'm so different now from what I was way back when. Didn't like myself much then.. and I do now and more importantly, Himself likes me pretty well too. I don't know if that answered the question.. but reflection is good for the soul and helps keep me humble. I still have a long way to go, but I'm so much further than I used to be, so count my blessings on that score at least. Been a day of reflection and memory for me, some good, some not so good. I think it's time for bed. Celeste

ahsubmm -> RE: First submissive urges (2/11/2006 6:57:08 AM)
I have noticed that most subs realized very young. As did I. I realized at six but wasn't discovered for a couple of years At six I knew I was different but didn't understand my feelings. They made me scared, embarassed ashamed.

ropesubby39 -> RE: First submissive urges (2/12/2006 10:59:40 AM)
My first sign was in my teenage years, i liked to play rough with guys, to submit, but the important point was when i was with ex-hubby and i had asked him to tie me up and fuck me........ he was ready to send me to a mental institute and called me crazy. I never let this stop me since i am in this lifestyle now [;)] ropesubby

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