To Gor or not to Gor...

To Gor or not to Gor... (Full Version)

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Loric -> To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 6:27:50 PM)
Recently, I received a c-mail from someone belittling My way of life. This has not caused Me to lose any sleep, nor has it caused Me to re-think My choices, in fact rather the opposite. Now, I know that not everyone is Gorean, and that's fine... Gor isn't for everyone, and I don't expect everyone to be Gorean. However, for someone claiming to be Dominant to send a message to another Dominant that is blatantly disrespectful, in My mind just shows that the sender is insecure in Him/Herself. I don't care what others think about My life choices, but I do expect to be given the basic respect that all living things deserve. I believe that Gor is right for Me, it has called out to My soul in ways that even I don't as yet fully understand, but I am exploring them and learning more every day, both about Gor and about Myself. What the whole point of this post is however is this...how many of My fellow Goreans, both Free and slave have been confronted in a similar manner, and what if anything have you done about it? I'd enjoy hearing from everyone on this subject...even those of you who aren't Gorean...I'm open to listening to the thoughts and ideas of others, even if I don't agree with them. Loric

LafayetteLady -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 6:37:19 PM)
It is very rare that belittling someone's lifestyle ever serves a purpose beyond the person with the need to belittle (oh wait, it typically shows them to be a jerk, so that is a purpose). The little bit I have learned about Gor is completely unappealling to me. But that's my choice, just as you enjoying it is yours. I think it isn't your beliefs, per se, but just the "same old, same old" of "my kink is better than your kink". I do have to ask though. Was this an email that came out of the blue or in response to one that you sent? I have received emails from those who enjoy Gor, and I have usually polited pointed out to them that I'm very clear in my profile for my dislike of it, wish them luck and send them on their way. When they email me all "big, bad and 'domly'", they get the same response as the non-Gorean who do that, but it has nothing to do with their choices. My advice, ignore it. If you are happy with what you are doing and not doing harm to anyone else, then that's what's important.

LadyPact -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 7:14:22 PM)
OP, I'm glad it didn't ruffle your feathers. A lot of us who could be considered a sub culture of the BDSM culture (Victorian, Leather, you name it) will get the stray comments once in a while. On a rare occasion, I'll have something land in My mailbox that is similar to what you describe above. No biggie. Just shows that there are some people who don't get how I enjoy living My life. Far more often, I get questions about it from people who are making serious inquiries. They actually want to learn about something that I've said or are curious. Trust Me. Those are way more enjoyable.

DarkSteven -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 7:18:23 PM)
The cmail wasn't about Gor. It was about a putdown.

RedMagic1 -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 7:26:25 PM)
I hard-limited Gorean Lifestyle on my profile not because I disliked the books or the "philosophy," but because 100% of the women I talked with who identified as Gorean-interested were emotionally unhealthy, mentally unstable, or interested in cybersex only. I've met a lot of women (and men Platonically for that matter) online-to-real, and there's no question that Goreans are the most caught up in wanking and fantasy world. So Loric, you've got to understand you're dealing with that. I don't know anything about you, except that you wrote a sensible post. However, Gorean men in lifestyle dungeons are famous for calling all female subs "girl" even if she's unowned and not their sub, and in general being arrogant bastards in a not-good way. If fewer of the men were flaming assholes, and fewer of the women were broken, I'd be less likely to think Gor was, well, fiction. Edited to add: I'm not a fan of what little of the books I've read, either... to sidestep any possible misreading of my first sentence.

AlexandraLynch -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 7:40:35 PM)
Personally, there's two reasons I don't do Gorean. First, I'm a dominant female, which is problematic in Gorean lifestyle stuff, and I really wasn't impressed by the books. But to each their own, and the only time I ever get annoyed by it is when someone thinks that because I don't have dangly bits I'm inferior to him. Otherwise, live and let live and have fun with your life.

Joseff -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 7:45:17 PM)
I can only add to all these posts that, no matter one's views concerning one ism over another, there is never a good reason to be rude. That behavior says much more about someone than just their likes and dislikes. Just ignore those people and move on.

Loric -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 7:47:33 PM)
I have been known to call all submissives girl as well, and I don't mean it as an insult...it is, after all what they are...if they take offense, I rectify the matter...however, few of the ones that I have met do take offense, because they know that I am speaking to them with respect to their position of being submissive. And yes, most of the "Goreans" I have met are more interested in the fantasy aspect of it as opposed to the realities that we can and some of us indeed do bring into real life...there is a beauty to Gor...and a sense of Honor that appeals to Me...and while others may not like it I respect their right to their opinion...even if I disagree with it. I personally don't think that I'm going to wake up and be able to go ride a Tarn or what have you...but there are aspects of Gor that I do utilize..and yes, I've seen too many women that are in abusive or unhappy marriages that seek solace in Gor because it is not dissimilar to what they already have...but, there is a difference between online Gor and real life Gor that people who aren't Gorean, or don't understand it either miss seeing or ignore for the most part...and that's what I was getting from the sender of the cmail...

GotSteel -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 7:49:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Loric However, for someone claiming to be Dominant to send a message to another Dominant that is blatantly disrespectful, in My mind just shows that the sender is insecure in Him/Herself. "While many people believe that bullies act tough in order to hide feelings of insecurity and self-loathing, in fact, bullies tend to be confident, with high self-esteem." http://www.safeyouth.org/scripts/faq/bullying.asp I just wanted to point out that particular misconception/propaganda.

Loric -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 7:53:23 PM)
it was a message that came out of the blue...I don't know the person that sent it, and quite frankly don't wish to know her because she has somewhat of an attitude problem...strikes Me as the kind of woman that has to belittle others to make herself feel better in order to come off as Dominant...which, from My experience just makes you look bad to potential submissives/slaves

DavanKael -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 8:00:07 PM)
Hi, Loric---- Is your inclination to respond to or ignore the person? Davan (Who would be peeved to be called 'girl' by a miscellaneous guy and would likely call him 'boy' after giving him an obviously appraising up, down once over then grinning and making challenging eye-contact as I said it) I am editing to add that I am somewhat impressed that you brought your query to the 'general' board and that you welcome and have thus far respectfully replied to the posts received. :>

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 8:05:02 PM)
When The Bladewing was alive, we ran a real live household where The Bladewing and about 1/3 of the other members were actively involved in the Gorean existence. We got hefty doses of rude commentary over the years, not just over the Gorean aspects, but over our poly home, the fact that we shared a household with folks who weren't into WIITWD at all ... you name it, someone had something to bitch about. In the end, you have to decide what works for you. I'm not involved in the Gorean community these days. Our household is primarily matriarchally oriented at this point, which is antithetical to the foundations of Gorean philosophy. Since neither of the matriarchs are interested in entering into a long term relationship, it's unlikely that there will be anyone to replace The Bladewing as our Head of Household. That doesn't mean that there aren't aspects of what we do that reflect the Gorean influences that shaped us, and I'm not ashamed of those in the least. Regardless of the literary quality of the books, there were ideas there that could be expanded on and which provide interesting augmentation to an existing ethical and life-code. Regardless of whether anyone else thinks it is worth anything, I found something valuable there for me. Congratulations on finding a place that works for you -- and let the wankers do what it is they do best.

Loric -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 8:15:48 PM)
My inclination is to respond with a respectful but firm shove off, which I did...chuckles softly and as My Grandfather used to say...no Man is so knowledgeable that He can't learn a few things...no One is perfect, all we can do is find the person(s) that is/are perfect for us and Davan...have you read the unedited Stranger in a Strange Land?

GotSteel -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 8:26:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Loric strikes Me as the kind of woman that has to belittle others to make herself feel better in order to come off as Dominant... shrug Since I haven't read the email in question much less met the writer I couldn't possibly say. But stereotypically that's not what's going on with bullying. Tops who go around trying to dominate everybody really do have the opinion that they are just that much better than everyone else.

Loric -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 8:48:06 PM)
perhaps they do think that, but being insulting is not being a Dominant....not in My book at least, and since the comments were directed at Me specifically and Goreans in general, it could have devolved into an Us vs Them kind of thing as I've seen happen before, both online and in real...but it didn't...however, from some of the things said in the mail she definately has the opinion that all Goreans are stupid and somehow inferior to her because we choose to incorporate aspects of what she called a fantasy world...and yes, Gor is a fantasy world...but that doesn't mean that there aren't aspects of it that can and indeed in My opinion should be applied to daily life...but that's just an opinion...

AquaticSub -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 9:14:12 PM)
~Fast Reply~ While I'm sorry you were insulted all I can say is... it happens. It sucks but it happens. I just got an e-mailing mocking me for not showing my face. When I explained my reasons, they physically threatened me and reminded me how close they are to my town. It was... bizarre to say the least. Certainly there are other Goreans that have been insulted by those who aren't Goreans but I'd say the number is about the same for non-Goreans being insulted by Goreans.

Loric -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 9:19:14 PM)
yes, it does happen...and it shouldn't...because as My Grandfather used to say...before you can control others, you must first learn to control yourself...and if a Dominant doesn't have enough self control to not belittle and mock another's beliefs then they aren't a Dominant in My book...and as for the person threatening you...that's definately a silly thing for them to do as it wouldn't take much to have them locked up for terroristic threats at the least

SailingBum -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 10:03:55 PM)
ehhh im way to lazy to do the gor thing. BadOne

catize -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 10:33:20 PM)
[sm=popcorn.gif][sm=popcorn.gif] This could get Gor-y!

Loric -> RE: To Gor or not to Gor... (5/7/2009 10:48:12 PM)
chuckles softly yes, yes it could

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