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Limericks - 2/4/2006 9:55:31 PM

Arpig

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I posted this limerick in another thread and it was suggested i start a limerick thread...so here goes......

There once was a man from Khartoum
who took a lesbian up to his room.
Thay argued all night,
as to who had the right,
to do what, and with which, and to whom.

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RE: Limericks - 2/5/2006 12:18:44 AM

Crazytwice

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This would be fun.
I've got some books with some pretty racy limericks in old Irish and British literature.
I will definately hunt those down.

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RE: Limericks - 2/5/2006 3:53:44 AM

Arpig

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oh good...here's another old one i remember...

There was a young man from John's
who fancied to bugger the swan's
Said the loyal groundskeeper:
Take my daughter if you please sir
for the swans are reserved for the dons

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Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

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RE: Limericks - 2/5/2006 4:03:54 AM

MadameDahlia

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http://female-orgasms.com/limericks/bawdy.htm

Amusing stuff for those interested in a few dirty ones...

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RE: Limericks - 2/5/2006 8:01:19 PM

jamesthehumanrug

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dearest;GREETINGS,
YES:IT'S ME ,r pig,
well: first i read your limerick and i said ;well ,that describes me rite now....
i knew shes gay but didnt quite recall,thats how she can argue, so much but, i really forgot how to plead ,if you know what i mean ,cause it was always no problem ,till it came down to what you say .....
so the rest of the limerick;just might go like this little addition below,if i may contribute,to yours;.....
the king he WAS,and THE woman she is ;
they fell apart ,
and ,into each other ;like slithering lava in flight ;
it was ALA!!, alllllllll night!

original quote arpig posts:
There once was a man from Khartoum
who took a lesbian up to his room.
Thay argued all night,
as to who had the right,
to do what, and with which, and to whom.

[/quote]

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 2/5/2006 8:27:18 PM >

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RE: Limericks - 2/5/2006 10:38:50 PM

Raphael

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There once was a man from Fife
Whose marriage was fucked for life
He had an aversion
To every perversion
And only liked fucking his wife

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RE: Limericks - 2/6/2006 10:01:22 AM

Arpig

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Another old one....
There once was a young lad from Kent
whose tool was so long that it bent
to save himself trouble
he put it in double
and instead of cumming, he went.

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RE: Limericks - 2/6/2006 7:23:24 PM

Raphael

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There once was a man from Nantuckett
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
"If me ear was a cunt I would fuck it!"

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RE: Limericks - 2/7/2006 6:59:24 PM

Petruchio

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Once an inventer named Green
Invented a fucking machine.
Concave or convex
It could do either sex
And even some in between.

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RE: Limericks - 2/10/2006 2:41:52 AM

Thanatosian

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There was a young lady from Wheeling
who claimed to have no sexual feeling
'til a cynic named Boris
simply touched her clitoris
and she had to be scraped off the ceiling!

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RE: Limericks - 2/10/2006 5:59:04 AM

MstrssPassion

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two old ones I recall:

There was a couple named Kelly.
They found them stuck belly to belly.
Because of their haste,
they got into paste,
intstead of petroleum jelly.

Here lies the remains of Screwey Dick,
Blessed & born with a corkscrew prick.
He spent his life in a futile hunt,
To find a girl with a corkscrew cunt.
He found her one day & then fell dead.
Son of a bitch had a lefthand thread.

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RE: Limericks - 2/11/2006 3:25:07 PM

Petruchio

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These are pretty good!

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RE: Limericks - 2/18/2006 2:50:01 PM

Wulfchyld

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There once was a man from Matrass
whoes balls wre made out of brass
in stormy weather they would clack together
and sparks would fly fom his ass.

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RE: Limericks - 2/28/2006 6:07:36 AM

RubberWitch

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3 bad ones i'm afraid

There once lived a virgin in Cork
who thought babes were deleivered by stork
she was in for a fright
on her wedding night
when she learned they were brought by the pork!

There once was a fellow named Jock
with a most insatiable cock
his wife, so I hear
out of cruelty or fear
keeps it under a chain and a lock

There once was a rentboy called Nash
who rented himself out for cash
out of folly or boredom
I apealed to his Whoredom
the next morn awoke with a rash

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