PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish???

PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (Full Version)

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LadyExcrutia -> PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/9/2009 8:57:07 AM)
Hello...I guess it's time to stir things up again. I just met in person a member of the site, and I am a little taken aback, amazed at the way he is, and I am wondering if any Domme here has ever had a Sub with "childish" traits. I don't mean it in a bad way. I mean it in the way that he seeks affection the same as a child, holding hands, hugging, resting his head on my hand, lap, feet shoulder, gently....like a cat asking and rubbing himself against your leg for a caress and to be petted, not like a horny dog humping your leg and the like. He seems to display a high need for female approval, and he's very "naive". I thought he was acting, and he's surely very well informed of things, but it's like he doesn't get it. He's sweet and almost an alien to customs and thinsg we take as normal in our everyday life, in a Forrest Gump sort of way, surprised, disgusted and very weirded out at some behaviors we consider normal and I am wondering if maybe PTSD may be the cause. I can only say he had a very traumatic experience, a bad childhood and an accident in his short life. He's in his late 20's and a very bright man, but his behavior seems so much like a 10-years old kid....and I am wondering if there's a website ayone could tell me about to read more on such issues, I am a lousy goggler and I certainly don't want to get another person into the issue directly, so I thought you could all offer me some wisdom.

Lockit -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/9/2009 10:33:36 AM)
When I directed the shelter I learned or thought I learned many things. I had been a lay counselor for a long time but didn't see people on a 24/7 basis and sometimes didn't see them at all as some of it was only phone counsel. At the shelter I could see these women 24/7 for months sometimes. I remember sitting at my desk and thinking... they seem to get stuck way back when because of something that happened and a part of them seems to be stuck emotionally at that age. Now I don't know it this is something that is real or just my take on it, but it seems to be what I was seeing. So, I tested it a bit. I would know these women very well. I was often called Mom or grandma and they were my girls! I loved them and we had bonds that went past my simply being the director of the shelter. We were like family as part of how I ran things and treated them because I found that they all needed that family bond and in that family bond we all grew and were able to help one another through whatever was going on. In most ways those that seemed stuck at a much younger age could function and for the most part were adults and you wouldn't notice, but in some way you would see something that clued you in and you would see something that you knew came from a different age. One sucked her thumb. Another came at you with the curiosity of that age where um's ask question after question. Things like that to put it simply. I learned to address them in a way that included the age frame I thought I was seeing without treating them totally like a um. I brought the adult and the um together in a sense. Man, did they bloom when I did that. Soon they were going to that place or age less often because we were addressing it all in a nurturing manner and with acceptance and then with an adult healing by helping the adult side of them understand how to deal with the um side and pull it all together. I hope I am making sense here! It's my morning! More coffee please!

YourhandMyAss -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/9/2009 10:38:56 AM)
No, it's not only you who've seen it like that. There are a lot of people who w/ill admit that parts of them are like they are because that part got stuck at a specific age or stage of life, and they need to express those stuck parts to move on and heal. quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit When I directed the shelter I learned or thought I learned many things. I had been a lay counselor for a long time but didn't see people on a 24/7 basis and sometimes didn't see them at all as some of it was only phone counsel. At the shelter I could see these women 24/7 for months sometimes. I remember sitting at my desk and thinking... they seem to get stuck way back when because of something that happened and a part of them seems to be stuck emotionally at that age. Now I don't know it this is something that is real or just my take on it, but it seems to be what I was seeing.

BKSir -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/9/2009 10:53:46 AM)
I work with a LOT of ptsd vets. By a LOT, I mean, in the normal week I probably work with about 80 vets, directly, and countless others indirectly. I live constantly with my partner of 14 years, who has ptsd. Before that, my grandfather had it something awful (viet nam and korean war vet). I've seen far far too much of this in my time. The overwhelming majority of them have PTSD, a good 95%. This is actually an extremely common trait amongst them. There are obviously varying degrees of this, some worse than others in their outward symptoms, but this behavior is really one of the most common that they'll show. Now, I'm not saying that's what is going on here, I'm a chef and a rec. therapist, not a psychiatrist. Even were I a psychiatrist, I couldn't diagnose something like that here. Just not possible. Let me just say that you should be glad that, IF this is the case, he's not in the other tiny group that is just the opposite. Afraid of any contact, and can be extremely hostile, defensive and argumentative. On the other hand, my pet does the same thing, and I am pretty sure that, aside from most of his family being jerks, he had a pretty normal youth. Sometimes that's just how some people are wired. And I, for one, adore it when he's like that. ;)

YourhandMyAss -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/9/2009 11:26:43 AM)
I wouldn't classify or consider being cuddly and touchy feely to automatically mean PTSD or child like behavior. I am a very cuddly and lovey dovey person, always have been and it's not childish behavior in my eyes, to want to hug and cuddle and hold hands and just generally touch and be close. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyExcrutia Hello...I guess it's time to stir things up again. I just met in person a member of the site, and I am a little taken aback, amazed at the way he is, and I am wondering if any Domme here has ever had a Sub with "childish" traits. I don't mean it in a bad way. I mean it in the way that he seeks affection the same as a child, holding hands, hugging, resting his head on my hand, lap, feet shoulder, gently....like a cat asking and rubbing himself against your leg for a caress and to be petted, not like a horny dog humping your leg and the like.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/9/2009 11:29:53 AM)
Yup, yup, yup, that'd be me. not the normal youth but being very cuddly. I am very cuddly. I love to be touching in some way or manner, just a couple weeks ago we were in bed and just our feet touching and it was so comfy, when he moved away I was like hey bring that foot back I was enjoying my foot resting against your foot. quote: ORIGINAL: BKSir On the other hand, my pet does the same thing, and I am pretty sure that, aside from most of his family being jerks, he had a pretty normal youth. Sometimes that's just how some people are wired. And I, for one, adore it when he's like that. ;)

aidan -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/9/2009 1:00:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss I wouldn't classify or consider being cuddly and touchy feely to automatically mean PTSD or child like behavior. I am a very cuddly and lovey dovey person, always have been and it's not childish behavior in my eyes, to want to hug and cuddle and hold hands and just generally touch and be close. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyExcrutia Hello...I guess it's time to stir things up again. I just met in person a member of the site, and I am a little taken aback, amazed at the way he is, and I am wondering if any Domme here has ever had a Sub with "childish" traits. I don't mean it in a bad way. I mean it in the way that he seeks affection the same as a child, holding hands, hugging, resting his head on my hand, lap, feet shoulder, gently....like a cat asking and rubbing himself against your leg for a caress and to be petted, not like a horny dog humping your leg and the like. Indeed. I'm very affectionate with Mistress, but it's certainly not childish.

LadyExcrutia -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/10/2009 9:56:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aidan quote: ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss I wouldn't classify or consider being cuddly and touchy feely to automatically mean PTSD or child like behavior. I am a very cuddly and lovey dovey person, always have been and it's not childish behavior in my eyes, to want to hug and cuddle and hold hands and just generally touch and be close. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyExcrutia Hello...I guess it's time to stir things up again. I just met in person a member of the site, and I am a little taken aback, amazed at the way he is, and I am wondering if any Domme here has ever had a Sub with "childish" traits. I don't mean it in a bad way. I mean it in the way that he seeks affection the same as a child, holding hands, hugging, resting his head on my hand, lap, feet shoulder, gently....like a cat asking and rubbing himself against your leg for a caress and to be petted, not like a horny dog humping your leg and the like. Indeed. I'm very affectionate with Mistress, but it's certainly not childish. The thing is, the way in which he does it is childish....let me explain...the way he holds it, or just looks for my touch is very innocent, sweet more liek a puppy laying agaisnt you to get a rub, but very sweet. And the eyes also tell the rest. His words complete the picture.....it's just that he's a person who can't seem to be serious completely, it's like a kid sitting on a bench at church with a toy car and the whole bit....

LadyExcrutia -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/10/2009 10:07:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit When I directed the shelter I learned or thought I learned many things. I had been a lay counselor for a long time but didn't see people on a 24/7 basis and sometimes didn't see them at all as some of it was only phone counsel. At the shelter I could see these women 24/7 for months sometimes. I remember sitting at my desk and thinking... they seem to get stuck way back when because of something that happened and a part of them seems to be stuck emotionally at that age. Now I don't know it this is something that is real or just my take on it, but it seems to be what I was seeing. So, I tested it a bit. I would know these women very well. I was often called Mom or grandma and they were my girls! I loved them and we had bonds that went past my simply being the director of the shelter. We were like family as part of how I ran things and treated them because I found that they all needed that family bond and in that family bond we all grew and were able to help one another through whatever was going on. In most ways those that seemed stuck at a much younger age could function and for the most part were adults and you wouldn't notice, but in some way you would see something that clued you in and you would see something that you knew came from a different age. One sucked her thumb. Another came at you with the curiosity of that age where um's ask question after question. Things like that to put it simply. I learned to address them in a way that included the age frame I thought I was seeing without treating them totally like a um. I brought the adult and the um together in a sense. Man, did they bloom when I did that. Soon they were going to that place or age less often because we were addressing it all in a nurturing manner and with acceptance and then with an adult healing by helping the adult side of them understand how to deal with the um side and pull it all together. I hope I am making sense here! It's my morning! More coffee please! Thank you for sharing this.... The problem is that his behavior is odd...he goes to a store and he checks the toys...he can't resist a videogame, a comic book or such. He seems to be unable to entirely understand the concept of porn, even BDSM one. He is being sincere and he's sometimes uanble to get humor, double-sensed jokes, and such...and he just seems to ignore some hints and just be nice and even jopke or take things lightly, in jest like a child playing with others at recess.....not to mention the way he talks...reminds me of my best friend's 10-years old nephews. I guess in some ways, it's like seeing Forrest Gump, a more joking, expressive and open one but with an IQ to get sent to NASA. That is what worries me, because according to what I know, and what my husband knows since he's from his country, he has been in combat and received very extensive training and saw many horrors, suffered some and he also had a bad childhood. His journal entries here normally are evry well-constructed and mature, but hearing him explain them is like hearing a child explain why he likes a comic book, it's odd when you confront the content of the emssage with how is it said, kinda like getting a bad news ina singing telegram with a happy tune song. I guess it's the whole thing about him being a fighter and all,it's odd but it's like he can't take anything serious, I'd find him as comedic as Jim carrey in his career beginnings, guy's like an Ace Ventura but with the childish innocence and attitude of a Forrest Gump to give you an image to work with...I just get marveled at his posts here and how his personality is structured in such a way and doesn't seem to have any collapse

Lockit -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/10/2009 11:25:59 AM)
I am far from a professional, but it sounds like he is reverting to a safe place and with you he feels he can. He is trying to play out his childhood. If he is handling adulthood in other ways and can work and conduct business, good. If he shows any signs of depression or not functioning, I would head straight to a professional. I might do that anyway. It sounds like he didn't get to have a childhood. This is a very serious situation I think and I would be more comfortable knowing he was getting some professional assistance with the truama he has suffered. If there is any chemical use... for sure get him to a professional. I had a son who could not handle reality. He worked and worked hard and he yet everywhere else was always immature. Very smart, yet very immature. We sought help and no one could help us. He was like this from birth on... it was really strange. As an adult I could no longer tell him how things were going to go. He was great when he was with me and mom was there to run things, even if I gave him responsibilites and I did. He had a great job as an oil rigger which is some of the toughest men I have ever known and I've known some tough men. They used alcohol and drugs to handle the hours and work and in part that goes with a lot of the tough jobs throughout history. They work hard and they play hard. With the useage... and some life outside of work thrown in... mine became suicidal and the professionals were not helping. They felt because he handled his work so well, he was okay. He also knew how to play them. But outside work he wanted a woman of course, but he was always playful and young. He would tend to find a mother like woman who enabled him, but resented the youngster when life called for an adult. Everyone loved him and if he played younger than his age, they just thought it was cute, young looking C. No one but me held him accountable. He was just too cute and sweet. He is now really... a youngster... brain damaged and never again will he have to deal with adult business. I would consider professional assistance if I were you.

LadyExcrutia -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/11/2009 7:06:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I am far from a professional, but it sounds like he is reverting to a safe place and with you he feels he can. He is trying to play out his childhood. If he is handling adulthood in other ways and can work and conduct business, good. If he shows any signs of depression or not functioning, I would head straight to a professional. I might do that anyway. It sounds like he didn't get to have a childhood. This is a very serious situation I think and I would be more comfortable knowing he was getting some professional assistance with the truama he has suffered. If there is any chemical use... for sure get him to a professional. I had a son who could not handle reality. He worked and worked hard and he yet everywhere else was always immature. Very smart, yet very immature. We sought help and no one could help us. He was like this from birth on... it was really strange. As an adult I could no longer tell him how things were going to go. He was great when he was with me and mom was there to run things, even if I gave him responsibilites and I did. He had a great job as an oil rigger which is some of the toughest men I have ever known and I've known some tough men. They used alcohol and drugs to handle the hours and work and in part that goes with a lot of the tough jobs throughout history. They work hard and they play hard. With the useage... and some life outside of work thrown in... mine became suicidal and the professionals were not helping. They felt because he handled his work so well, he was okay. He also knew how to play them. But outside work he wanted a woman of course, but he was always playful and young. He would tend to find a mother like woman who enabled him, but resented the youngster when life called for an adult. Everyone loved him and if he played younger than his age, they just thought it was cute, young looking C. No one but me held him accountable. He was just too cute and sweet. He is now really... a youngster... brain damaged and never again will he have to deal with adult business. I would consider professional assistance if I were you. Lockit, I am very sorry about your son. He sounds like a beautiful person in heart and soul, and a beautiful mind too, and it's bad that this happened....I pray for you and him... I am considering the professional angle. Problem is, my husband handles the issue as I am not that good with spanish and the guy is from his country. I like the boy here, he contacted me ona forum and he has an interesting profile, but it's odd....I enjoyed meeting him, he's truly a nice person, it's more like he's a child in order to be kind and playful, as if his life had to be all-around stern and strict seriousness and emotionless logic control over himself just like a soldier on Buckingham palace's gates. It's sad .... Perhaps it's not so bad, but in his country, he's a little bit under pressure. And well, my husband always refers to him badly, after he got to know more about him, seems like all military men know each other and when my husband refers to him in such terms, he sais things, or uses terms, words such as "programmed" or "bred" instead of "trained" or "taught" and he always says things like "his people" or "his race" and it's a little annoying to see the Latino pecking order of racism at work and we've had our discussions already because of his approach at the issue and at this young man. I'd like to ask you if we could exchange some impressions in private messages...? I'd be grateful to have someone experienced and smart as you on the issue for just a couple of messages to see if I can get any ideas or directions...

chamberqueen -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/11/2009 11:11:43 AM)
You mentioned an accident. One thing to check into was whether any head trauma was involved. My cousin and I were in an accident as teenagers and her brain is permanently stuck at an emotional level for a 15 year old. The same can happen from emotional shock. If the person's emotional develop was already behind (which can happen no matter what their intelligence level is, especially if they come from a background of neglect and/or abuse) then it can stay at that age almost indefinitely until there is an impetus for it to move ahead. That needs to come from within them, but it can definitely be influenced by a caring person.

TEMPERANCE -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/11/2009 11:14:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyExcrutia He seems to display a high need for female approval, and he's very "naive". I thought he was acting, and he's surely very well informed of things, but it's like he doesn't get it. He's sweet and almost an alien to customs and thinsg we take as normal in our everyday life, in a Forrest Gump sort of way, surprised, disgusted and very weirded out at some behaviors we consider normal and I am wondering if maybe PTSD may be the cause. I have served someone who has been diagnosed as having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, he never displayed the behaviour that you have outlined above. Mostly he would have recurrent nightmares resulting in him not getting a decent sleep most nights, flashbacks and he would completely withdraw and socially issolate himself. During this time i did a bit of reseach into PTSD to try and understand for myself what was happening. I believe they can also become very aggressive and argumentative, the reason why my Master chose to withdraw so as not to inflict that on anybody. Im not sure if PTSD can result in clingy/needy behaviour but from what i have read it appears not to. It might be helpful if you could give more information into the behaviour he displays when you say he acts like Forrest Gump, have you considered one of the autistic spectrum disorders which could result in such behaviours?

Lockit -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/11/2009 11:45:15 AM)
Actually the people I have known well with ptsd isolated more than they clung to someone... but we all digest and process things differently. There could be a number of factors as to why things manifest differently. I would say that it isn't a reach to think that someone who has been through a lot in life might have some sign of ptsd, but they also may have other things going on, such as in my son's case. Before and after his injury and the things he couldn't handle in life... everything influenced the outcome and manifestations of whatever was happening. It's kind of like mourning. Some will cry, some will laugh. Or some sort of victimization. Some will withdraw and go into victim mode and stay there and some will process it all differently and won't. One of the clues to what I see in the situation LadyExcrutia talks about is that the young man writes very clearly and 'adult' for lack of a better word. He is showing signs of being okay and adult in some ways... and yet it seems that younger person, the wounded one is struggling to be identified, nurtured, loved, accepted and healed. I knew a man who was in the military and retired from it. He was in every war or situation you could imagine at some point, that took place when he was in. The man was wise, articulate and seemingly better put together than most and yet... there was a very, very young part of himself he actually named. He protected that youngin... they were in war together... the young one determined how he the man did things many times. When he first started showing me the young one... I was a lil flipped out! Okay... lol... omg... this is above my head! Omg! lol Yet... he just needed to be accepted becasue he had sectioned off in a bit of a split personality because he was very abused and together... and he knew they were different but the same, he found a way to do what needed to be done and yet heal by nurturing the one that was broken so young. I guess if I had to put a title to the situation I would have to say he was a functioning split personality. Remember I am not a professional, this is just my take on it all. He had to be careful who he told about this. I automatically spoke to the young one as he was presented to me. I could nurture the young one... but very closely bring the adult into things. While holding the young one, I was able to ask the adult something. Talk about being scared of fucking up! Omg! But calmly I accepted and loved and it all worked out rather well. LadyExcrutia, I am more than willing to spend some time in email with you, but please remember, I am not a professional and just someone who has seen a bit of this and has some ways of dealing with it, working hand in hand with a professional or two. I cannot treat anyone but I might be able to help ease your mind or something. I tend to direct people who need a bit more than a chat with a friend to professionals that I worked with, but I am not working with anyone now and have lost contact with most I worked with. As a friend I can do what I can, but that's about as far as that goes! lol

TEMPERANCE -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/12/2009 6:39:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit It's kind of like mourning. Some will cry, some will laugh. Or some sort of victimization. Some will withdraw and go into victim mode and stay there and some will process it all differently and won't. It would seem you have a very different undertsanding of what PTSD is in the states, to us here in the UK. PTSD is usually a catastrophic reaction to a very traumatic event. I think how you have described it above does not adequately describe the experience of living with PTSD from the individual's prospective. This link may be helpful: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-traumatic_stress_disorder

Lockit -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/12/2009 6:52:41 AM)
I was not defining ptsd. I was saying basically that many things influence how people respond to truama and life.

Sylverdawn -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/13/2009 5:49:13 AM)
When you suffer a serious trauma especially in an abuse situation many times there is a part of you that remain emotional mentally stuck at the age of the trauma, often those parts a person need to be nutured and accepted especially in a D.s Dyamic.. and perhaps part of your responsilbity as a Domina is to see that he gets the kind of counselling with a kink friendly professional who will assist him in to reintergrating that part of his persona so that it doesnt make you feel a bit off..

LadyExcrutia -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/13/2009 8:01:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TEMPERANCE quote: ORIGINAL: LadyExcrutia He seems to display a high need for female approval, and he's very "naive". I thought he was acting, and he's surely very well informed of things, but it's like he doesn't get it. He's sweet and almost an alien to customs and thinsg we take as normal in our everyday life, in a Forrest Gump sort of way, surprised, disgusted and very weirded out at some behaviors we consider normal and I am wondering if maybe PTSD may be the cause. I have served someone who has been diagnosed as having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, he never displayed the behaviour that you have outlined above. Mostly he would have recurrent nightmares resulting in him not getting a decent sleep most nights, flashbacks and he would completely withdraw and socially issolate himself. During this time i did a bit of reseach into PTSD to try and understand for myself what was happening. I believe they can also become very aggressive and argumentative, the reason why my Master chose to withdraw so as not to inflict that on anybody. Im not sure if PTSD can result in clingy/needy behaviour but from what i have read it appears not to. It might be helpful if you could give more information into the behaviour he displays when you say he acts like Forrest Gump, have you considered one of the autistic spectrum disorders which could result in such behaviours? Well...i must say i didn't....as an example, I can cite the following... Once, when I was talking with him and my husband and he were discussing something about a game (men and sports), he was very childish, very happy and seemed like a kid at a birthday party....emotionally, he expresses his affection without boundaries, he hugs and holds my hand but he does it in a respectful and submissive way, the first time I thought he'd kiss my hands but he just placed them to as to touch them with his forehead, bowing to me, in public....it's like he needs to exchange affection constantly.. During the chat, some men were making fun of him for reasons I don't understand. I got to hear some words which my limited spanish allow me to understand and they weren't nice, but he ignored them as if he was a kid hearing things above his level of understanding, until one of them bumped somehow into him when we were getting up and said something...now, he replied with 3 quick phrases that seemed to struck the other man and when I asked, he switched said, like a kid explaining his comic books hereo's story to a friend, yet using a vocabulary most doctors wouldn't be able to do in english medical text, how human behaviour is just a bunch of mathematical algorythms and such, a small 3 minute dissertation on par with what you'd find on a Nobel thesis.... In a way your thought about autism does seem to make sense. He seems as if humanity is something besides him, beneath him even in its flaws and negative areas. He doesn't like or has a use for many things, it's od, it's like he is a pure person who hasn't been tainted by social paradigms and manners. My husband says he can compare him to the Sony character, a robot in the movie "I Robot" and such, for he's a genius who is unadapted to society and can't understand it more than E.T. could, a perfect metaphor in my opinion since I see him kind of the same way, as a stranger in a strange land.

LadyExcrutia -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/13/2009 8:11:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sylverdawn When you suffer a serious trauma especially in an abuse situation many times there is a part of you that remain emotional mentally stuck at the age of the trauma, often those parts a person need to be nutured and accepted especially in a D.s Dyamic.. and perhaps part of your responsilbity as a Domina is to see that he gets the kind of counselling with a kink friendly professional who will assist him in to reintergrating that part of his persona so that it doesnt make you feel a bit off.. I am worried because now that i consider him somehow of emotionally austistic and all, I do also think the trauma was very bad for him to be stuck at such a young age. He doesn't like to talk about his childhood, and it just doesn't seem as if he hadn't any, I am also seeing that some of his small scars don't come from his accident but from his childhood, and knowing him allows me to tell that he was beaten, and badly, to the point of broken bones when he was just 10 years old. Also, there's this thing....I shouldn't say it but since I wanted to meet him as I was travelling with my husband to meet his family after the catholic Holy Week, which he missed due to work and I also resented (I like visiting his country's beaches and rainforests) I had him ask for a background check since 90% of the males in his country go through the military and his records are sealed. I was thinking "oh my God, he's in the guerrillas, he works for a cartel" and all that, but I then learned that he apears to have a flag in his file about him being a victim of torture, because of the nature of said flag and I managed to get my husband to open up a little on it and trust me, his descriptions of torture in his country make me want to turn my stomach because of the horrible things they can do to a human being and seems that this poor guy had a vivid experience of "third time's the charm" because so far, he's had a horrible childhood, an accident during his teens and a horrible war experience. Worst part is, his little bits of info about his childhood, his early teens as it is all he shares, seem to connect with me seeing my nephews here and knowing that back in their country, they can get whipped to blood with a belt at age 15 if they cross the line, to see how much brutality his culture imposes on men, so it now has got me thinkign about them being more time around me so as to try to get that out of their system and help them grow healthier, and stronger as human beings. I like him as a person, truth is, I enjoy his posts here, and the funny thing is that as far as subs go, he was the total opposite of the norm, since he actually needed to be pressured into meeting me when almost all subs try to impose themselves on you or beg their way into a meeting...it was odd, but I saw a beautiful human being, and he did help me understand so many things about my husband when he contacted me in the forums, that I sort of feel like there's an obligation.

lizi -> RE: PTSD's Infantile/Childish Behavior = Infantilism fetish??? (5/13/2009 8:18:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TEMPERANCE Im not sure if PTSD can result in clingy/needy behaviour but from what i have read it appears not to. I'm not a doctor or a counselor just a mother of an adult son who suffers from PTSD. He has served twice in Iraq. This last deployment he had a different job and was in life threatening situations on a continual basis. He came back from the last deployment being clingy and needy to me and the rest of our family. He doesn't exhibit many of the other classic PTSD symptoms on the surface (some are there if you look for it) and the clinginess/neediness has been slowly getting a bit better. He is a very macho military man and this seems to be the accepted way he is more or less allowing his illness to manifest when he is among those he trusts.

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