RE: 24\7 slavery is difficult

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: 24\7 slavery is difficult

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: 24\7 slavery is difficult

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: 24\7 slavery is difficult - 5/11/2009 9:06:36 AM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

24/7 is never really an easy kind of relationship. But one thing I've always felt when involved in one is that I can only do as much as I can possibly do. If someone else comes along that claims he or she can do more, than I start to think that perhaps that person is a better choice to be her slave than me. My thinking is that I want her to be as happy and as satisfied as possible. If someone else is capable of bringing her more satisfaction than I am, than I want her to have that person if that's what she's seeking. In other words, I want her to be as satisfied as she can be.

In the past, I've been in relationships where a dominant has sought someone more than me and found him or her. And then a few months later, she recontacts me because she realizes that person who promised to be even more than I was turned out to be someone who was capable of a lot of hot air. When that happens, and I was cast out so she could fulfill her needs BETTER with that other person, I'm gone. I usually won't come back either. I discovered a long time ago to stop coming back to a dominant who is seeking someone more than me. My very first dominant owner was someone who cast me out several times, convinced she'd find someone better than me. And stupidly, I kept coming back whenever she tried that person out and discovered that next slave wasn't up to par. And yes, I consider myself to have stupidly returned. And then I got cast out again and stupidly returned.

Now, I don't return. If she finds someone better than me, and she really feels that way, she can have him or her. But I won't be back. I don't play that game anymore. To steal a great line from a great comedian, "homey don't play that". It's not worth it. If someone has me and is seeking someone better than me, then I don't want to be hers.

You see, I'm a pretty decent catch. I know that now. It took me some failures to figure that out. If someone EVER uses me as a launching pad towards someone else, she's going to discover that she made a serious mistake because she deserves exactly what she gets the next time around.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: 24\7 slavery is difficult - 5/11/2009 10:13:35 AM

KoolnSassy

Posts: 65
Joined: 5/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkEmpress

I think his real question here was how to deal with his feelings of not wanting to serve for 2 or 3 days sometimes. He will just get in a bad mood. At those times I don't feel good about how I am served or rather , not being served, but I try to just leave him alone and hope he will snap out of it.

Just an opinion based on my own experience. I have served as a slave and found that the times I didn't feel like serving was the time I needed the control of my Master the most. It's easy to think - oh just leave them alone, but I found it to be the exact opposite of what I needed. Being a slave in a society that doesn't reinforce that attitude is not an easy mindset to maintain. I think the D's position is tantamountt to helping him stay there. It's easy to think, oh you want to be a slave, so be a slave. But the fact is, if that were the case, why would he need you? A slave needs his Mistress to keep a good hold on him, to know how to move him back into position when he falters. I found it wasn't my calling. It sounds like it is his, so hopefully this is helpful to you both.

_____________________________

If you don't know what you're doing, why do you think I know?

KoolnSassy

(in reply to DarkEmpress)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: 24\7 slavery is difficult - 5/11/2009 10:32:37 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

OP, your emotional response is one that I have had in the past. I was highly valued but I didn't allow myself to recognize that. I was concentrating more on being perfect than in taking the time to enjoy the growth of the relationship. I cheated myself out of a lot of joy.

Your Mistress put up a very beautiful post. It is clear that you are something special to her. Now you have to believe that deep inside. Once you allow that to sink in you will find that slavery is a true blessing and better than any fantasy you could have ever cherished. Your actions will no longer be because you feel you "have" to do things but because you are truly moved to for the love of this woman and your relationship. It's all about your mindset. I've walked that road myself and I can't believe the difference it makes. I am a much more valuable slave, even doing the exact same things, when the motivation stops being from a sense of obligation only.

_____________________________

(in reply to KoolnSassy)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: 24\7 slavery is difficult - 5/11/2009 1:08:47 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

quote:

Original: machimounchaine

Do other 24/7 slaves feel this and if so how do you as the Owner and the slave manage this?

Yes, every servant goes through this at some point, if xhe is really enmeshed in hir servitude. The way to get out of it is the same way one gets out of other self-defeating modes of behavior. An old spiritual teacher told me that this method is the -proper- application of the "fake it till you make it" principle. In other words, the way to get out of the feeling is to continue to do what you need to do, and use self-talk to remind yourself -why- you are doing it, and to find, specifically, the little joys in each act of service.

For myself, I am not always "on" for doing what I need to do either, whether that is going off to my job or sitting down to write articles or whatever. I grumble and kvetch the same as the next folk, and when I do, and still end up having to do what I need to do, I can get very resentful and snippy. I've found that finding five good things about what I am doing starts the process, for me, of thinking much more proactively and much more productively about the things I have to do and how I need to do them (including the attitude I put into them). The satisfaction at the end is a good goal, as well... so stop and look over what you've done, quietly, before you let your Keeper know you're done. Cherish the sense of a job well done, and the knowledge of having given your very best work. Those will help you to keep your submission and duties in positive perspective.

On the other end of the kneel, if I see one of my servants who appears to be getting mired in hir own boredom and repetitive nature of the tasks set, I try to assign something new and different -- some project that hasn't been undertaken for a long time that will be a change of pace. If, however, the servant insists on being miserable about every task set, and if I can see that xhe is not putting hir full effort into what xhe is doing, or is wasting time procrastinating and whining, I will typically start giving more and more odious, tedious tasks, so that when xhe is returned to hir duties, xhe can appreciate the relative ease and pleasantry of the day-to-day projects.

Dame Calla

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 5/11/2009 1:09:05 PM >

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to machismounchaine)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: 24\7 slavery is difficult - 5/14/2009 5:46:01 AM

MissJanice2

Posts: 178
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline

I am a 24/7 Domme, and I feel this way a lot. It is just like a job. Sometimes you suffer from burn out and need a break.
My slave and I have finished about a six month break, and are ready to get back into it.
Sometimes, there are other issues involved such as health, family, and work.
Do not dwell on it. It will come.

Best Wishes,

Mistress_Jan

quote:

ORIGINAL: machismounchaine

I loved the idea of Females owning males since I were a kid. At that time it was all in underground fetish magazines and Femdom houses advertizing in Screw Magazine, Corporal, Lisa's World and etc. I longed for this fantacy life. I have been with countless Pro Doms throughout the decades past. I finally met a true Female Supremicist. I met her on a vanilla dating site several years ago. We clicked right away. Long story short I am her slave. Now collared for 24\7. It is not as easy as I fantacized. Though I am fulfilled with her fetishes and my being used and treated as a dog, object or whatever her sadistic side dictates.Our vanilla lives do dictate mood swings, bad attitudes, depression, "not in the mood for serving". This is on my part. I still serve as best I could. I do all the cooking, dishes, all domestics, laundry, scrub floors, food shopping, assist her with family, and will serve and entertain her guests (in a vanilla way) and in the lifestyle depending on who they are. I am wondering how I can shake these useless feelings. It is preventing me at times to serve her with a 100% mindset. It does upset her and I do get punished. Though she always knows I serve her as best I could and do satisfy her basic requirements. There are other subs and slaves that are waiting to replace me like vultures hovering over a corps. Then sometimes I think, what they say to her. I wonder if they will deliver. She is no nonsence, extremely creative Deity and has me do too, and for her, what most people would not. I won't go into that here. But in her mind a slave is a slave and that is it! No boundries allowed. My questions are, am I normal for feeling this way. Do other 24/7 slaves feel this and if so how do you as the Owner and the slave manage this?
Thank you for your time.

(in reply to machismounchaine)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: 24\7 slavery is difficult - 5/14/2009 5:53:55 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DVsFox

As a 24/7 slave, I really don't feel like it's difficult... In fact, I feel like it's the easiest thing I've ever done in my entire life.

DV's Fox

That's a very intriguing statement. Why does it feel so easy for you - if you don't mind expanding a little?

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to DVsFox)

Profile

Post #: 26