100 reasons it's better to be a man

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FlawlessBoner -> 100 reasons it's better to be a man (2/5/2006 7:38:25 AM)
100 reasons it's better to be a man 1. You can get sex whenever you want. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about cars. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Night Football. 6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. You can open all your own jars. 9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight. 10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind. 11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying. 12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. 13. All your orgasms are real. 14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex. 15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you. 16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go. 17. You understand why Stripes is funny. 18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group. 19. Your last name stays put. 20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade. 21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you. 22. You can kill your own food. 23. The garage is all yours. 24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment. 26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. 27. You never have to clean the toilet. 28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes. 29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation. 30. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. 32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack. 33. The National College Cheerleading Championship 34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry. 35. You don't have to shave below your neck. 36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite. 37. If you're 40 and single nobody notices. 38. You can write your name in the snow. 39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. 40. Everything on your face stays its original color. 41. Chocolate is just another snack. 42. You can be president. 43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat. 44. Flowers fix everything. 45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings. 46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. 47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. 48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough. 49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store. 50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think. 51. Foreplay is optional. 52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe. 53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room. 54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. 55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by. 56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. 57. Car mechanics tell you the truth. 58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. 59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me) 60. The world is your urinal. 61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you. 62. You get to jump up and slap stuff. 63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 64. One mood, all the time. 65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. 66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too yucky. 67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. 68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing. 69. Same work....more pay. 70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character. 71. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. 72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back. 74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory. 75. You don't mooch off others' desserts. 76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. 77. The remote is yours and yours alone. 78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. 79. ESPN's sports center. 80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift. 81. Bachelor parties whip ass over bridal showers. 82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. 83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. 84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom. 85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed. 86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man. 87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F_ck it!" 88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies. 89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary. 90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. 91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood. 92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. 93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room. 94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. 96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. 97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them. 98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?" 99. Baywatch 100. There is always a game on somewhere

Shibariman -> RE: 100 reasons it's better to be a man (2/6/2006 8:38:10 AM)
LOL

petwolf22 -> RE: 100 reasons it's better to be a man (2/6/2006 10:13:09 AM)
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area???? now that's just no fun[:D] and beer guts just make other things less and less visible

michaelGA -> RE: 100 reasons it's better to be a man (2/6/2006 10:16:30 AM)
let's analyize this for a moment...<WEG> quote: ORIGINAL: FlawlessBoner 100 reasons it's better to be a man 1. You can get sex whenever you want. as most men know, this is not always true...women, on the other hand...CAN (smiles) 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. of course this depends on who the main star is...LOL 3. You know stuff about cars. not all men know about cars and some women know more about them then some men. (smiles) 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. not always true either 5. Monday Night Football. not all men are crazy about sports and some women have adapted to watching it. 6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives. this is also false as most men tend to be just as jealous as women. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. this depends on the size of the bathroom, the number of men in the vacinity and how much they've had to drink...LOL 8. You can open all your own jars. not always true, some jars nobody can open without divine intervention...LOL 9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight. perhaps, but that also depends on just how much was gained or lost...LOL 10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind. another myth that men don't get taken advantage of 11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying. depends on your mood, (real men aren't afraid of crying once in a while) 12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. depends on the size of the seat cushion of the chair you'll be sitting in <grins> 13. All your orgasms are real. anyone whose ever seen pornos knows this isn't always true either, some are created with corn starch and baby oil (i think) 14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex. depends on if the oposite sex is even interested in them...some people are proficient in ignoring others <grins> 15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you. anyone who has seen any or all of the Friday The 13th will dispute this as not only women were attacked, but men as well...LOL 16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go. depends on if you need things for work or whatever. 17. You understand why Stripes is funny. probably anyone, male or female, who's served in the military would find this humorous 18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group. depends on the location, the men you are with and how much they've had to eat/drink. 19. Your last name stays put. time will tell if this remains so...LOL 20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade. not always true either, some guys are actually "neat-freaks" 21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you. LOL, alot of people feel this way. 22. You can kill your own food. who says women can't hunt or men have to 23. The garage is all yours. not always...LOL 24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. <shakes head> 25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment. never seen it, so can't say one way or another. 26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. this depends on whether people secretly think you're gay or not...LOL 27. You never have to clean the toilet. correction, alot of guys are told by their significant others to do this...along with taking out the trash, cut the lawn and put out the dog/cat at night 28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes. depends on how dirty you are and who you're with...LOL 29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation. nonsense...depends on who you're with...LOL 30. Wedding plans take care of themselves. try this and see if it's true...LOL 31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. this depends on what event was taking place. 32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack. so are some women's 33. The National College Cheerleading Championship depends on the orientation of the female...[:D] 34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry. HEHEHEHE...if they get you in "the forbidden zone" most men would not only cry, but be doubled over and walking funny for a while 35. You don't have to shave below your neck. bodybuilders do...LOL 36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite. unless you're stuck in the barn, waiting for the farmer to go to sleep so you can sneak in with his daughter...LOL 37. If you're 40 and single nobody notices. you're married friends will...the one's that comment on how lucky you are you're single...LOL 38. You can write your name in the snow. this needed more clarification...but i imagine an intelligent and talented female could...but they wouldn't want to show off and out do a man, thereby lowering his self-esteme...LOL 39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. men call it a pissing contest, women call it a bitching session...same thing 40. Everything on your face stays its original color. greying hair, sunburns, hang-overs and fist-fights can change the color of anyone's face. 41. Chocolate is just another snack. to me, it's like the food of life...LOL 42. You can be president. this, too, can change...if men would stop being so...manly...LOL 43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat. HAHAHAHA...depends on how good the driver is...LOL 44. Flowers fix everything. try applying this method to a broken radiator...LOL 45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings. not always true 46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. who says this is true...LOL 47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. so can women, they just get more attention...LOL 48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough. <shrugs> 49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store. so can women, it's just that the men in the store would notice more...LOL 50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think. not always true either...tray telling some guy you're screwing his wife and see what happens...LOL

michaelGA -> RE: 100 reasons it's better to be a man (2/6/2006 10:17:44 AM)
51. Foreplay is optional. bull, that's why women came p with the "I've got a headcahe" thing...to word off unprepared sexual activities...LOL 52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe. hey, i think he's a good singer, i also like Barry Manilow, Neil Diamond and Inglebert Humperdink 53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room. what about when a priest walks in...LOL 54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. the problem with this is, everyone can take their shirts off on a hot day, it's just that women get noticed more...LOL 55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by. depends on if the meter reader is male or female and how horny you are...LOL 56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. dpends on who their going to do it with, if you knew the person had some STD, if the women is related to you or is your wife, wouldn't you be compeled to stop it...LOL 57. Car mechanics tell you the truth. oh, jeeze...most mechanics lie to everyone 58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. depends on the haircut, where you wear it and if appearnce is important in your work. 59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me) i wouldn't know, i don't watch sports or congragate with men 60. The world is your urinal. not true either, women are capable of going anywhere they want, they just have more class then men 61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you. anyone who's ever had a break-up know this to be false...men just aren't very good at translating subtle hints, like...."get out, it's over"...LOL 62. You get to jump up and slap stuff. LOL, what stuff? 63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. hint, angry women finds out you've been screwing her best friend, doesn't let on until she has you in bed, naked with a romantic "candlelight" setting...get the picture...LOL 64. One mood, all the time. explain depressives 65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. maybe, but then there's those men that try hard to be like Arnold, Jean-Claude, Stalone or whatever muscle-bound celebrity...LOL 66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too yucky. depends on the bathroom and way crwled in there and died...LOL 67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. some women have "unique" was of opening them...so that adds to how many the men know, thus making women knowing more ways...LOL 68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing. so can women, but, as i stated in a few other answers, women get noticed more...LOL 69. Same work....more pay. deoends on the job...LOL 70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character. no comment 71. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. not sure if this is entirely limited to men...some women have to adjust their panties 72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. this just proves men are cheap and women are more romantic...LOL 73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back. some men do 74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory. profided they can even get it up, get it in and, if the women isn't on birth control...LOL 75. You don't mooch off others' desserts. i do...LOL 76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. men can retain water also, not just in a canteen, they call it a beer-belly...LOL 77. The remote is yours and yours alone. ever heard of the universal remote? 78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. ask Arnold, Stallone, or VanDam if this is true, especially if they have their tops off...LOL 79. ESPN's sports center. again with the stupid sports? 80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift. is beer a gift...LOL 81. Bachelor parties whip ass over bridal showers. how would a man know, women don't go around bragging about them, it's more like a secret club...they may be having more fun than men, perhaps an orgey...and, BTW...women have more choices than men...LOL 82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. explain Norman Bates...LOL 83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. what if the store owner is female or gay...LOL 84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom. not sure about this one either 85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed. (no comment here) 86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man. LOL...and women tend to age more gracefully and still have a "dirty" side 87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F_ck it!" not solely a male trait 88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies. thus the male mentality...LOL 89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary. that's just plain cold 90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. not going there 91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood. "not now, dear...the game is on...LOL" 92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. so do women, especially sine the "small dog" is between a man's legs...LOL 93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room. women can too, usually it's your stuff they'd be doing it to and how upset you made them...LOL 94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. every try to break in cowboy boots? 95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. there are some romantic porns out there written, directed, produced and directed by women, with women in mind. 96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. if you care about them, you do 97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them. ever hear of sympathy sex?...LOL 98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?" hmmmmmmmm....not sure about this one either 99. Baywatch lousy show 100. There is always a game on somewhere screw sports...LOL [/quote]

veronicaofML -> RE: 100 reasons it's better to be a man (2/6/2006 12:24:00 PM)
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. ========== due to my child abuse.... this is the only one i can't agree on. otherwise ya did a good job.

veronicaofML -> RE: 100 reasons it's better to be a man (2/6/2006 12:28:11 PM)
89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary. that's just plain cold =========== maybe for some for me? naw diana who? never liked her...i dont care about the brits

Arpig -> RE: 100 reasons it's better to be a man (2/6/2006 12:42:47 PM)
quote: is beer a gift...LOL No, its an essential requirement

RavenMuse -> RE: 100 reasons it's better to be a man (2/6/2006 12:57:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: veronicaofML 89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary. that's just plain cold =========== maybe for some for me? naw diana who? never liked her...i dont care about the brits Don't assume all Brits where fans of her either!

collieloveruk -> RE: 100 reasons it's better to be a man (2/8/2006 6:55:25 AM)
gawd after reading most of them i must secretly be a man lol 10 mins to get ready i can do it in 8 ...........and no hot wax on ur bits ............... are u mad???????????? lol

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