chastity and my gf

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

chastity and my gf

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> chastity and my gf

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

chastity and my gf - 5/10/2009 5:35:45 PM

ax2777

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/22/2009
Status: offline

My girlfriend is very open, sexually, and we've tried lots of different things, and had lots of fun. I'm thinking I'd like to try a chastity device, and I've been reading up on them for a while, and have decided I'm ready to talk to her about it.

Now, we aren't technically a D/s couple, but I do have some sub tendencies, and she's neither D nor s, really. She definitely will be at least open to trying this.

I am hoping once I am used to wearing it, she will keep me in it, and allow me out maybe 1-2 times per month. Thoughts of agony and torment turn me on badly!

Now, an issue I am forseeing is this- she loves oral, and of course if I am in a CB she will be getting lots of it, but she also loves regular sex and LOTS of it. If I am locked up, she wont be getting it as much. Any ways we might can work around that?

< Message edited by ax2777 -- 5/10/2009 5:40:05 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/10/2009 5:39:04 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Maybe not regular sex but how about you using toys on her? Or even a strap-on, the irony of you being in chastity might appeal...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to ax2777)

Post #: 2

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/10/2009 5:43:01 PM

ax2777

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/22/2009
Status: offline

Those certainly are good ideas. Would toys be an acceptable substitute for someone who likes lots of regular sex though? Im hoping she wouldnt tire of it.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 3

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/10/2009 5:58:14 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

It could go on forever using toys on her, no "recovery time".....or at least until she got sore. LOL

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to ax2777)

Post #: 4

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/10/2009 6:02:39 PM

ax2777

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/22/2009
Status: offline

Alot of what Ive read about chastity (but not all of it, of course) seems to be associated with cuckolding. While I know its out there, Im not sure Im down with THAT idea. Hopefully, between toys and oral, she will be ok, and heck, she might like it more this way.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 5

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/10/2009 6:54:34 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

The only one that can tell you is your wife. I would have a problem with that. I don't go for tradeoffs. You are not motivated by what will please her, but what you are wanting in your fantasy and what turns you on. A tradeoff is basiclly what you are offering her. If she likes the idea... cool... if not.. what then?

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to ax2777)

Post #: 6

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/10/2009 8:10:09 PM

CdnExplorer

Posts: 227
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

Why couldn't she just keep you in chastity, but "take you out" whenever she feels like having sex...and then putting you back in it? How much of your attraction to chastity is the denial, and how much of it is the complete lack of control over your most intimate experiences? The fewer limits you place on her regarding how to carry out your chastity kink, the more receptive she is likely to be. I'm sure that the more enjoyment she gets out of this the more you're going to love it.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 7

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/10/2009 8:21:20 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ax2777

Those certainly are good ideas. Would toys be an acceptable substitute for someone who likes lots of regular sex though? Im hoping she wouldnt tire of it.

That wouldn't even remotely work for me, which is why if I were in a steady relationship with someone, he'd probably only be locked up for a couple of days at a time, with the occasional longer stint, according to my whims. By and large, I want what I want when I want it.

(in reply to ax2777)

Post #: 8

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/10/2009 8:51:05 PM

ax2777

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/22/2009
Status: offline

Well, it's more about the denial, than control issue.

But I understand if she's not into this, then how the heck could I be? Im not going to impose something we BOTH dont get off on. I think less limits and rules is best, and we go from there.

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 9

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/11/2009 8:06:41 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

I just had an idea, how about thick condoms that will desensitize you? That way she could still have sex but you wouldn't orgasm, so in fact would still be denied and sufficiently frustrated... I would assume it would also require a lot of self-control on your part, but that would be your issue to resolve...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to ax2777)

Post #: 10

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/11/2009 8:15:45 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I think that focusing on "How can she get by/how can I deny her so I can get what I want (specifically, chastity) is the wrong approach to start with. She might be ok with doing things other than intercourse, or with him not coming during intercourse, but at the beginning, approaching it that way is likely to make her feel that her sexual needs aren't going to be met, that she is restricted in how *she* can have sex. A lot of women aren't comfortable with expressing their sexual needs, especially about feeling desired, about feeling like they can please their partner. She's very likely to try for a few weeks, get frustrated, feel like you don't desire her sexually, and then give up the chastity experiment.

You suffer from the same condition that a *lot* of men here who have a vanilla but openminded partner do, regardless of D/s and BDSM orientation - you ask for too much, too quickly, and scare the ladies off! Don't get greedy, take the chastity whenever she isn't actually having sex with her, let her know how much you enjoy the chastity and how much it is turning you on, and how wonderful she is. After a while, you might ask to explore the toys option, or restricting your orgasms, or to have you come, then keep playing in other ways (oral/toys) until you get aroused again, *then* lock you up still feeling frustrated.

She might not get off on the chastity, especially right away, before it has any sexual association for her yet. However, if you can make it all positive, no negative, she's probably willing to give it a try, and your pleasure can be contagious.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 5/11/2009 8:18:33 AM >

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 11

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/11/2009 4:48:12 PM

ax2777

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/22/2009
Status: offline

LadyC, that is quite a good idea, but I guess Im not being disclosing enough info.

As far as my own needs: I would like to be locked up. And yes, it would be up to her, when I get to "come out" of it. But the thrill of not being able to touch it, or even feel any sexual pleasure with my cock, is the biggest turn on.

As far as daily life, wearing it to work (she can taunt me on texts)... or when we go out... seeing her dance... being hit on or flirting with other guys (while Im locked).. its very erotic.

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 12

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/11/2009 5:12:33 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ax2777

LadyC, that is quite a good idea, but I guess Im not being disclosing enough info.

As far as my own needs: I would like to be locked up. And yes, it would be up to her, when I get to "come out" of it. But the thrill of not being able to touch it, or even feel any sexual pleasure with my cock, is the biggest turn on.

As far as daily life, wearing it to work (she can taunt me on texts)... or when we go out... seeing her dance... being hit on or flirting with other guys (while Im locked).. its very erotic.

I think we've got a pretty clear sense of why you want to engage in it, but it's pointless talking to a bunch of strangers about what to do to encourage your girlfriend. Talk to her about how satisfied she's likely to be if you're in chastity. She's the only one who will know.

(in reply to ax2777)

Post #: 13

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/12/2009 12:41:37 PM

Hardbutt

Posts: 78
Joined: 3/16/2005
Status: offline

Tell her what you like about it, and tell her what you would like to do for her in exchange. Listen to what she has told you and ask what you can do for her, make it a game worth playing for her and it will be a happy arrangement for both of you.

I know that it is possible for someone who is fairly vanilla to become interested in keeping you locked up until she wants you out to play. You might explain to her that you would prefer not to be tempted to masturbate, that you would like to save up for her... and that you agree that after she has let you out you will go back in without argument or delay. Keep your word.

If it makes sense to her without you having to convince her, you will get your wish. If you have to, sweeten the deal by agreeing to do the dishes or the laundry whenever you are locked up, but do not make promises you can't keep for many years. Keep your word.

If it takes little effort on her part and yet it can make her happy in many ways, then you are doing the right things. Her smile is the best measure that she is happy to keep locking you up!

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 14

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/13/2009 10:33:22 PM

slavemick63

Posts: 45
Joined: 1/1/2009
Status: offline

While you are locked in chastity,she could get herself a lover who would satisfy her sexually.You are no good to her while you are locked up are you,and if her lover is really satisfying her sexual needs,then she may as well keep you locked up.

< Message edited by slavemick63 -- 5/13/2009 10:34:16 PM >

(in reply to Hardbutt)

Post #: 15

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/14/2009 4:49:40 AM

CdnExplorer

Posts: 227
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

Or unlock it and break up with him. If she isn't getting what she wants from him and it isn't her kink, why would she just keep him around locked up? For decoration?

(in reply to slavemick63)

Post #: 16

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/14/2009 5:40:48 AM

MissJanice2

Posts: 178
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline

No. Chasity is a serious commitment.   It can cause injury.   It can cause a lot of things, and if both of you are not experenced in it, you need to get all the information you can on it.
If it is just play, it doesn't matter. Do what you want. If you are going to be "locked up", there are many things you need to learn.

Best Wishes,   Mistress_Jan

(in reply to ax2777)

Post #: 17

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/15/2009 3:39:41 PM

ax2777

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/22/2009
Status: offline

Very interesting... Ive read up alot on chastity and how the lady may take other loves... its a whole other thing I guess, but its kind of erotic to me.. dunno if I could actually handle that, though...

(in reply to slavemick63)

Post #: 18

RE: chastity and my gf - 5/22/2009 9:22:15 PM

mneedscontrol2

Posts: 2
Joined: 6/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

That wouldn't even remotely work for me, which is why if I were in a steady relationship with someone, he'd probably only be locked up for a couple of days at a time, with the occasional longer stint, according to my whims. By and large, I want what I want when I want it.

Perfect answer to chastity imo. The guy is locked until the lady wants it.

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 19

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> chastity and my gf

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.070