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RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/12/2009 4:24:38 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Ha. That's Marie's job. I'll just take the pictures.



Oh I'm massively out of my depth with that one - she's cruel, too. 


That's quite enough out of you two.

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 3:24:22 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		BoiJen saying that cyber isn't real because you have to have experienced things really for real before you are allowed to say you have experienced things...otherwise it is insulting...but how can it be insulting...that means that BoiJen feels insulted and how can BoiJen feel anything about any of this...this is only cyber lets be fair)

LaTigresse saying that she does not do cyber cos she knows its not for her and when questioned how she knows the reply is: I don't have to go to prison to know that it is not for me...implying that indeed it is quite adequate to imagine what something is like...

And just to add to this whole thing...lots of things in 'real' bdsm are totally and absolutely fake...read the thread on Jack the ripper and how we can all fool the public and our selves even with delicious trickery 

It all is delicious just the same, now have fun everybody

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 4:00:13 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline 		I can understand why people would enjoy having an online pen pal, web cam antics or some sort of intellectual texting porn. But deeply emotionally investing oneself in someone who doesn't even want to meet you doesn't seem like much of a relationship to me.

(in reply to Antheia)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 5:52:46 AM   
MsKittyBlack


Posts: 63
Joined: 3/29/2007
Status: offline 		You don't have to be a soldier to be angry about what's happened in Iraq and Afghanistan (among many other places in the world). I don't have to a soldier to be angry about Americans being spit upon and cursed in countries that have benefited from our presence. I don't have to be in your face to be insulted by someone who thinks that typing is comparable to serving and I don't have to go to jail to understand the legal mechanics of loosing my rights because I fucked up.

The difference between these things and cyber bullshit is that these things have hard line physical consequences that are experienced by an individual through changes in their environment and demands on their bodies and unless we're talking about carpal tunnel issues or back pain from bad posture, there are not hard line physical consequences of cybering your way through life.

The difference is that if anyone had said to a soldier that you're experience with Halo is valid to his bringing a brother's body home, you'd have either been thrown out on your head or had your ass kicked. And that's a physical consequence. Saying cyber is valid in a room full of Leather folk who serve and recieve service is the same kind of comparison. You say that on the 'net and all you get is words.

There are things and experiences in relationships that words can't even begin to describe, D/s or not. To fuck around in a medium where all you have is words and call it comparable is ridiculous.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine
and I never said your kink isn't my kink but it's ok.
Who forgot to sign out of the Ma'am's profile


< Message edited by MsKittyBlack -- 5/13/2009 5:53:20 AM >

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 6:16:37 AM   
pinkpolkadots


Posts: 26
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline 		Actually, i have a different take on it.

For me, D/s is largely about having someone to guide me through everyday things - like keeping to schedules and routines... and them seeing their desire to see a girl follow out things they request, fulfilled. It was not about cyberfantasy. It was about two real people connecting on an emotional level, communicating about important things to them. I have met MUCH better Dominants online, where it never became a r/t releationship (though in some cases we did meet, later).  Sometimes a great long distance friend is better than a fair weather r/t partner.  My first Dominant was online - he was halfway around the world - and I still consider him "the best" (and yes we did meet: by then i had a r/t partner but he was just as great as he seemed online. the timing was a shame.)

_____________________________

"Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world."
— Marilyn Monroe

(in reply to marysdream)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 6:45:15 AM   
BreaksGirlsnPHX


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist



Geesh

why can't people just be happy for people; no matter which way that happiness is attained.

Does it really matter so much, to a person behind a computer screen, whether or not another person (behind a computer screen ) accepts/agrees with your own way of living?


I have never posted on here before ( I just read for knowledge, etc.) but this has to be probably the best post about anything I have ever read and I totally agree. It all just boils down to a personal choice. Real Life, Online, a Mix there are good and bad people in a all phases off it as I'm sure most of us on here have found out if we have spent anytime at all exploring or living this way.

Thank you for the post.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 6:56:10 AM   
ncbabe


Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

No one said it was the "same" experience.  They're saying that they have felt intimacy and connection without having met someone.  Why would anyone try to deny that this is true for them?


Actually, many people who espouse online say it's the same, the same intimacy, the same connection, etc.  For most of these people, they've never had it offline.  They don't know what they're missing.

Cali



I was never a fan of online relationships until I fell into one with someone who lives too far away for me to meet.  We have an undeniable connection and I do feel intimacy with him.  However I am well aware that this is not the same kind of intimacy I would feel in person.  I have had offline relationships and know the difference.  What I get from this relationship is different to anything I have ever had in person.  So I'm not going to give it up just because we can't meet and it isn't considered 'real' by the majority of people.

As always seems to apply for most of the topics on these boards, what works for one person will not necessarily work for another.  Each to their own, as it were.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 7:46:09 AM   
Antheia


Posts: 66
Joined: 2/11/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

I can understand why people would enjoy having an online pen pal, web cam antics or some sort of intellectual texting porn. But deeply emotionally investing oneself in someone who doesn't even want to meet you doesn't seem like much of a relationship to me.


If that was aimed at me I did meet Master. I spent several visits each year with him. So what began online, telephone, webcam continued to real time. But I can still understand those who do choose online only.
Have a good day
A.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 7:52:13 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKittyBlack

The difference is that if anyone had said to a soldier that you're experience with Halo is valid to his bringing a brother's body home, you'd have either been thrown out on your head or had your ass kicked. And that's a physical consequence. Saying cyber is valid in a room full of Leather folk who serve and recieve service is the same kind of comparison. You say that on the 'net and all you get is words.

There are things and experiences in relationships that words can't even begin to describe, D/s or not. To fuck around in a medium where all you have is words and call it comparable is ridiculous.



Bee in your bonnet? 
If  you can not describe things with words...well it seems that is your limitation MsKittyBlack, not mine.
I shall keep in mind not to mention cyber should i ever find myself in the company of Leather folk just on the off chance they would actually be bothered if they even know what it means... maybe you should have the same curtesy and not diss cyber when you are on-line

Oh  and i think people could stop mentioning the war and people dieing... we are talking about a sexual thing...a lifestyle even...it should be fun...what on earth does it have to do with knowing what it feels like when somebody has to bring a body home...and yes i do know what it feels like to grieve...show some respect woman

(in reply to MsKittyBlack)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 7:53:53 AM   
urlittleprincess


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/18/2007
Status: offline 		i find online relationships to be far more intense once they move to the telephone and i have a sexy voice to connect to...unfortunately, that intensity almost guarantees a let down when it comes time to meet...i met Him online and we went through one hell of an adjustment when we met in real life. we are living together now, but sometimes i miss the intensity of online/phone...anticipation...imagination...<sigh>

< Message edited by urlittleprincess -- 5/13/2009 7:55:47 AM >

(in reply to Antheia)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 8:08:16 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		Respect? Maybe you should pay attention to how you're comparing online crap to actual D/s. I know many of the D-types and s-types I talk to hate the term "lifestyle" because what they do is part of who they are.

Spell check for Christ sake!

boi

< Message edited by BoiJen -- 5/13/2009 8:54:56 AM >

_____________________________


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(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 8:36:23 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		~FR~

You know, I admit to being a bitch most of the time. It drives me up the wall when someone insists that their way is the right way. With that aside, even I have to admit that right now, ranja, you are starting to piss even me off.

BoiJen and I have gone round before on these boards; we don't agree on a lot of things...two strong personalities clashing and refusing to back down basically...yet, in spite of all that; you could really learn quite a bit from her. One of the things I admire the most about her is her dedication to what she see's as right. Insulting her like this is really pretty juvenile.

The OP of this thread asked specifically for OUR INDIVIDUAL THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS on the subject.

You stated yours, she stated hers. No one has to agree with the other; no one has to accept the other's PoV. All you have to do is accept that each of you has the same right to think the way you do.

Just something to ponder.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 8:56:14 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

BoiJen and I have gone round before on these boards; we don't agree on a lot of things...two strong personalities clashing and refusing to back down basically.


Ain't that the truth? You have that in common with plenty lol

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine


_____________________________


Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 8:57:54 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

BoiJen and I have gone round before on these boards; we don't agree on a lot of things...two strong personalities clashing and refusing to back down basically.


Ain't that the truth? You have that in common with plenty lol

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine


LOL it's so much fun though I love a good debate; especially when the other person does not back down...instead of grumbling, I end up respecting. Don't figure

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 9:10:21 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

LOL it's so much fun though I love a good debate; especially when the other person does not back down...instead of grumbling, I end up respecting. Don't figure


Debate is fun...that's very true. Arguments aren't and I think we're pushing that line here. And with the exception of the last big one (where I forgot to sign out) my posts have pretty much begun to get smaller and smaller because I'm tired of repeating myself. I find that when arguing people repeat themselves often rather than expanding their descriptions of their view points or covering new material. Again...that is where debate becomes enjoyable...you get new stuff.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine
...you don't have to agree with me to like me :-)


_____________________________


Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 9:45:58 AM   
everhope


Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyluvsitrough

New to the board here and I apologize if this is an old topic that's been covered.  I've seen many profiles of submissive females that say they are strictly interested in an "online" D/s relationship. 

Do you see this as a legitimate relationship?  Why or why not?

Personally I don't understand this dynamic at all if you've never met this person in the flesh & blood.  Kinky pen-pals are fine, the written word is a powerful medium but I fail to see how someone can consider themselves truly "collared" by someone they've never met in real life. 


welcome to CM Daddyluvsitrough.
 
the ResidentSadistSir and i felt we were in a D/s relationship before we met in person. He is Dominant and i am submissive. it naturally could not have been any other way between us. the depth of the D's grew as more and more time was spent together online and on the phone prior to our flesh meeting.
We both had no intention of keeping our releationship confined to online...however, logistics ruled for about 7 months before meeting faced to face. 
consider though, we were both open to making a D/s dynamic work in the flesh.
 
my assumption when i see that a girl wants an online D/s relationship is she is in a vanilla marriage/relationship and wants to explore her submissive feelings without jeopardizing her relationship. same is true, when i see a Dominant wanting to guide and train online.
 
may we all find our bliss.

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.






(in reply to Daddyluvsitrough)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 9:57:59 AM   
SlaveMastr


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/11/2009
Status: offline 		We all know the difference between online and face to face. The problem is people who question the validity of someone elses experience and attempt to qualify that experience. Each is different, leave it at that.

For some people online or phone is the only avenue available to them to explore their fantasies. People who disdain this because it is not "real" usually end up sounding insecure as to their own experience. As if other peoples variation demeans what they do,  I just don't get that. If two people are sharing something that enriches their lives who gives a shit what you call it and what possible affect does it have on what you do?

Be happy with your own experience and leave others to do as they chose, as long as no one is harmed. 

(in reply to Daddyluvsitrough)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 10:22:07 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveMastr

For some people online or phone is the only avenue available to them to explore their fantasies. People who disdain this because it is not "real" usually end up sounding insecure as to their own experience. As if other peoples variation demeans what they do,  I just don't get that. If two people are sharing something that enriches their lives who gives a shit what you call it and what possible affect does it have on what you do?



I am quite secure in my experience and what value it would hold to many...primarily because I get told "you're lucky, I'm jealous" and on and on almost on a daily basis.

Now, I feel I need to address a specific part of this post.

"As if other peoples variation demeans what they do,  I just don't get that."

When someone says I am x, y, and z and haven't actually had the experience of x, y, and z they are demeaning the experience of others. They are stepping on the toes of other people's actual experience and qualifying themselves to have had the same level of experience as the person who has spent the energy and effort to courage to go beyond just talking about it. It's like equating just "talking the talk" and actually "walking the walk". My grandfather used to tell me "don't let your alligator mouth override your canary ass". Meaning don't go talking shit when you can't back it up.

In cases like online forums, many many individuals boost their "experience" up and then talk like they know what it's like to do the real thing. Their crap does demean my efforts and experience. The things that actually contribute to my life on a daily basis because I work hard for it...I don't just type about shit then get the credit.

I have the number one spot in Ma'am's life because I worked for it I did the fuckin work and they guy only talked about stuff ain't here because he only talked but felt entitled to the spot in Her life because he was just "there". It's the same thing just not such a interpersonal scale (that doesn't make it not personal).

Just sayin...

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine
And yes I know I curse like a sailor...get over it


_____________________________


Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to SlaveMastr)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 11:11:56 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

My reading comprehension must be down...I am so confused about that last post.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine...
and apparently a "sweet cutie pie"...whatever that is



Well my reading comprehension isn't much better, but I will try to help you out here. I think she is trying to put you down by implying your a child. To me she is coming off as a condesending jerk, but maybe that's part of her whole charm. Oh and she is also trying to imply your pic is fake. As to the cutie pie crack....she has obviously never seen you swing a whip. All and all I would just ignore if I were you. Have a great day and give my love to Ms K.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? - 5/13/2009 11:18:32 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Antheia

LaTigresse, No it may not be the same meaning of service as what many of you know or want. But being so far away from him it gave me a feeling of serving him in some small way.  It made me hunger and yearn to be able to serve him physically. I learned many things, via online , that he liked, what he expected of me if and when I became his slave. Hey I am the first to admit it wasn't exactly perfect but it worked for us when it had to.  Till I could again be in his presence and make his coffee the way he liked, fix a hamburger the exact way he wanted it , folded his towels the way he specified those kind of things.

And Master did want physical service but 1800 miles and a border between us didn't make for daily visits. Beleive me the times I did spend with him I served him and , in his opinion, I served him well.
Take care
A.



Would you have felt the same way if you knew from the begining that you would never actually meet him?

Would that have been enough for you?

When you think back on the relationship before you ever met and then how it was when you were actually together, do you think they were both equally satisfying?

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to Antheia)
Profile   Post #: 120
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