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RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/11/2009 6:05:13 PM

MsFlutter

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I don't consider myself a sadist. I like some pain play, yes, but I am not extreme. I like it for myself, but I feed off of the responses, the gasp, the eye's going big, the release and sounds...

I'm somewhere between these two !!

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
I am absolutely a sadist, to the point where I would be perfectly content with a masochist of any orientation. ...Politesub, I am not interested in someone who is just "enduring". The other person has to like what is happening on some level, not just being grateful when the action stops! ..... A person who is enjoying the experience, and willing to push boundaries for me is plenty of fun, too....

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RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/11/2009 6:18:41 PM

Vendaval

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I am very sadistic on the physical and mental levels and attract masochists as well as service submissives.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster
Nonetheless, I am curious as to how important the pain/restraint/humiliation part of the activity is to various women. Some do seem to want partners who can take a good deal of pain, so I assume that they are looking for an outlet for their own fetish -- one who is willing, if not always eager -- while others seem more inclined to use it as a motivator (positive or negative, depending on details).

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Post #: 42

RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/11/2009 7:03:33 PM

xenboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

You're on. And all it will cost you is $1,345.57. There's the air fare, the hotel, the beer, the new leather boots to replace the ones you've slopped beer all over . . .

Englishmen dont slop beer, under any circumstances.....lol

That's a pity. I would have looked forward to watching someone lick it off of them.

Now that i could do :)

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Post #: 43

RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/11/2009 7:27:16 PM

aidan

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I'd say that Mistress can be sadistic, but She is not a sadist. She gets enjoyment from the reactions I give from being hurt by Her, but She doesn't seek those states out of Her own accord. If I wasn't a bottom or a masochist She wouldn't feel any less fulfilled, I think. But She can become very, very sadistic when She is enjoying Herself. Just last night there was talk about cigarette burns, stir-up chairs, knives and interrogation. ^__^

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Post #: 44

RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/11/2009 7:31:10 PM

LadyPact

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Putting in My request for pictures of such fun activities now.

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Post #: 45

RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/11/2009 7:33:09 PM

Venatrix

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I have a lovely little Nazi interrogation scene planned for someone special, should he ever come along. I even bought herbal cigarettes so I could do the burn-thing without making myself sick on real cigarettes. Sadistic? Moi? Nevair!

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Post #: 46

RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/11/2009 8:19:21 PM

ShaktiSama

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So far as bdsm goes, I am definitely a top and I enjoy dishing out sensations. Sadism per se is optional, but controlling and topping are not; I like pushing my partner to extremes of sensation. Which is why I like playing with a bottom who is both emotionally and physically sensitive, as well as being fairly gluttonous in terms of how much he/she wants and can take. Whether I'm flogging, tickling unmercifully, raking with fingernails, biting and gnawing, nibbling and licking, tormenting with hot wax and cold ice, or playfully teasing with the very lightest stroke of the fingertips--it's all about the energy of the reaction.

As it so happens, the boykin is an absolute piglet for attention, especially if it involves pain and suffering. He enjoys all sorts of things I've never tried, and he sometimes reacts strongly to kooky spontaneous threats that pop into my head...like telling him I'll interrogate him while putting out cigarettes on his bum. Between his hunger for hurt and fear and all his gasping and whimpery humpy-writhing, the lad could probably turn Mother Theresa into a vicious torturer. Nothing brings out my worst like a shameless little strumpet!

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Post #: 47

RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/11/2009 8:24:54 PM

LadyPact

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Isn't it amazing the inspiration that can come from just a fleeting thought?

I still want pics.

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Post #: 48

RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/11/2009 9:04:58 PM

AAkasha

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When all is said and done, I consider myself more of a "top and a sadist" or "bondage top" specifically than a "serve me" type femdom, but at the same time, I have pretty high standards of maintenance - but it's not that I get any sexual or erotic thrill from it, or even feel "contented" by it - I just am not domestic, but I am happy to take the role of workaholic in exchange for having a domestic partner. My dominance of him, however, is all physical and sensual - not in a "wash my clothes, bitch!" kind of way.

That said, I guess I am in the minority in that I don't MIND if a guy is not a mashocist, and I actually get a bit of a rush if I know he's not, and he's doing it for me. In addition, the more self indulgent a masochist is in his bottoming, the less I get my buttons pushed. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE just delivering a great beating/torture to a total painslut so long as he is reactive, but it does NOT scratch the same itch as when I see a man suffer or endure for me not because he likes pain, but because he likes what his pain does for me. He likes to suffer - for me.

I've had hardcore masochist partners, however, that have pushed my buttons FAR more effectively than totally self-sacrificing non-masochists, too. In the end, chemistry trumps all. When I fantasize though, and when I get my juices flowing, the dynamic is clearly a man who doesn't seek out pain for the sake of pain, or seek out acts of fear, helplessness and desperation; rather, he is hopelessly drawn to them by the affect it has on me, and how intense and exciting it is to endure that for my pleasure and sexual arousal. He does end up craving it, but craving it for me, not for himself. Might just be a matter of semantics when it all boils down to it.

Akasha

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Post #: 49

RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/11/2009 9:09:12 PM

LadyPact

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Aakasha, I would think the difference may lie very specifically between those who prefer bondage to sadism. We come from different places in this.

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Post #: 50

RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/11/2009 9:23:09 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

Just curious. Many of the dominant women here seem to primarily be seeking service-oriented subs. One could certainly imagine a relationship involving D/s without any sadomasochistic activity at all. Most do seem to have some interest in that sort of play (if "play" is an appropriate word) but it isn't always a primary focus. In fact, I sometimes get the impression that many women have fun acting as tops for SM/BD play, but that the satisfaction often seems to derive from the fact that the bottom gets off on the activity -- not really much different from the satisfaction you can get from giving someone a massage, or performing oral sex on them.

I'm certainly not trying to imply that women who derive satisfaction from pleasing their partners are "not real Dommes" or any such nonsense. Nonetheless, I am curious as to how important the pain/restraint/humiliation part of the activity is to various women. Some do seem to want partners who can take a good deal of pain, so I assume that they are looking for an outlet for their own fetish -- one who is willing, if not always eager -- while others seem more inclined to use it as a motivator (positive or negative, depending on details).

Anyhow, just wondering -- any thoughts?

I'm not at all a sadist... I'm a power-tripper.

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Post #: 51

RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/12/2009 3:27:45 AM

MsFlutter

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

When all is said and done, I consider myself more of a "top and a sadist" or "bondage top" specifically than a "serve me" type femdom, but at the same time, I have pretty high standards of maintenance - but it's not that I get any sexual or erotic thrill from it, or even feel "contented" by it - I just am not domestic, but I am happy to take the role of workaholic in exchange for having a domestic partner. My dominance of him, however, is all physical and sensual - not in a "wash my clothes, bitch!" kind of way.

Wow - you absolutely nailed THAT one on the head. An absolutely crystalline articulation.

This could (re)ignite a whole 'nother debate about a top not being as engaged - or as invested- in WIITWD. About how it would suggest episodical interest rather than a 'lifestyle' mindset. ('lifestyle' differentiating from 'pro domme' in this context).

If, for any one of MANY reasons, there is no service aspect, does this by attribution change someone's status from Dom/me to Top? Does it connotate less skill? (these are rhetorical questions - you just got me started LOL). It is not rare to hear "s/he's not a Dom/me really - s/he's just a top." Just? Why is it 'just'?. Are the skills less? Is the enthusiasm less?

I'm sure that whole topic is as old as the hills, yes?

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RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/12/2009 5:31:38 AM

frankieboy52

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doesn't matter if you are a service oriented Domina or a scenedriven Domina or whatever floats your boat...it doesn't make the Domina any less of a Domina.And not for anything but i do believe it is her choice to do whatever she pleases and i am sure whatever path a Domina takes she more than happy with.It certainly would never matter to me and i consider myself a service oriented type of submissive.But her rules are the rules and i would follow them obviously to the letter.

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Post #: 53

RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/12/2009 5:37:51 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsFlutter

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

So, to recap: a dominant gets off on enjoying her complete power over you, the submissive. It just so happens that this power is used to cause you, the submissive, all kinds of ecstasy. What could be more straightforward than that?

okay....I WANNA LICK YOUR MIND !!!

PFH ~ You are abso*^$inglutely brilliant. If you were within arms reach of me, I would first dip you to deliver a BIG smooch on your brain then I'd leave my handprint on your bottom just because I dont believe a big gold star would stick !!

Best way I've EVER heard it said.

Thank you, Ms F. However, after re-reading what I wrote last night I thought "Well that was bleeding obvious, you cretin. Now tell them that the Earth goes round the Sun."

Me: the pain alone couldn't do it. I need to know she's enjoying inflicting it.

There was a scene in the Watership Down animation where a cat has leapt on the back of the rabbit voiced by John Hurt (aptly) and is digging her claws into his neck. She - the cat - is purring pleasurably "Can you run? I'll bet you can't". I think that was one of the first times I thought "Wow. I want some of that."

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RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/12/2009 5:41:54 AM

lives4pain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster
seeing some fairly sadistic things allegedly being done to the models, and wishing I could find someone interested in doing similar things to me.

lol@allegedly. this one has had the same experience and the same wet hopes -- i imagine it is these hopes that lead to 75% or more of the profits of such sites. yet it's great to hear someone saying they do what i do. :-)

for 12 years, my dream has been to enter "subspace", which i understand as a sort of hypnotic/trace state induced by the deft infliction of various pains and restraints. it is both the ultimate surrender to Power and the ultimate expression of Control.

a Domme in a New York dungeon taught me the joys of the crop. it starts soft and easy, but that just makes the blood burn for more. ahh! i find the inexperienced Domme will tend to hack away full force from the start.

the sweetest, most loving person i know is also the most wickedly sadistic. her sadism is not an act to 'do for' me - she literally radiates delight with each slap, and with each slap i moan in ecstasy my eyes glazing over... symbiosis. S wants m, m lives for S. her desire to hurt me is our bond, and makes me love her.

x

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RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/12/2009 6:05:32 AM

PeonForHer

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I even bought herbal cigarettes so I could do the burn-thing without making myself sick on real cigarettes.

I'd suggest that herbal cigs would not cut it, V. The sub in question would just think of a Nazi interrogator who really wants to be a sandal-wearing hippie.

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Post #: 56

RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/12/2009 6:15:57 AM

TEMPERANCE

Posts: 126
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

Most do seem to have some interest in that sort of play (if "play" is an appropriate word) but it isn't always a primary focus. In fact, I sometimes get the impression that many women have fun acting as tops for SM/BD play, but that the satisfaction often seems to derive from the fact that the bottom gets off on the activity -- not really much different from the satisfaction you can get from giving someone a massage, or performing oral sex on them.

Anyhow, just wondering -- any thoughts?

Im a submissive, but im also a sadistic top.... none of the play i engage in is for the pleasure of the bottom/submissive, though in reality they do derive pleasure from the pleasure i get out of hurting them but the primary reason for doing it is because i enjoy it.

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RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/12/2009 6:29:10 AM

Venatrix

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I even bought herbal cigarettes so I could do the burn-thing without making myself sick on real cigarettes.

I'd suggest that herbal cigs would not cut it, V. The sub in question would just think of a Nazi interrogator who really wants to be a sandal-wearing hippie.

It's easy to be funny when you're 6,000 miles away, isn't it? Wonder how funny you'd be if you were tied to a chair whilst I stand in front of you with a very sharp German WWII reproduction knife with an eight-inch blade? Oh, dear. I think I need to go lie down.

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RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/12/2009 6:55:34 AM

PeonForHer

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Oh, dear. I think I need to go lie down.

Me too . . . .

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Post #: 59

RE: How sadistic are you? - 5/12/2009 7:00:07 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I even bought herbal cigarettes so I could do the burn-thing without making myself sick on real cigarettes.

I'd suggest that herbal cigs would not cut it, V. The sub in question would just think of a Nazi interrogator who really wants to be a sandal-wearing hippie.

It's easy to be funny when you're 6,000 miles away, isn't it? Wonder how funny you'd be if you were tied to a chair whilst I stand in front of you with a very sharp German WWII reproduction knife with an eight-inch blade? Oh, dear. I think I need to go lie down.

Peon being a bit of a history buff and a SAM might point out how the reproduction is obviously a reproduction and how the uniform differs...

But if you want to do the burn thing, get sparklers (also not a very stern WWII image) having coated the skin with deep heat previously it will feel temperature changes 10 times as much and will be so much more sensitive, just wave them gently near the skin and watch flinching, wincing, screaming coming quite naturally, you can build a bit of humiliation around it with "Scared of a little sparkler?"
Works also great with electric fly swatters, tens units, just drops of hot or cold water (lukewarm will be felt as scathing hot), candle wax, ice cubes...
If you want to do burning, I would recommend a simple lighter, due to the flame having different temperatures, it is very versatile and a great mindfuck. Cigarettes tend to be a bit of a problem because often you get really nasty infections from the slightest burn and blister, I do like the imagery of them but hate if I can't control the results.

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