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Subs who are actively searching for switches - 5/11/2009 5:24:42 PM

britishebony

Posts: 7
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline

Does anyone have any thoughts/responses to subs on this site actively searching for switch females/males??? Isn't this contradicting if a sub states to you that they are truly submissive but on the other hand they also say that most switches are in-touch with their inner self than most Doms, am I the only one that notices this. Something to think about!!!!

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RE: Subs who are actively searching for switches - 5/11/2009 7:31:00 PM

ladylexington

Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

You post was a little confusing. I think you're asking the forum if people are less submissive if they seek out switches rather than dominants. If that's the question, here's my thoughts.

I think people seek out switches for two primary reasons. Sometimes subs are intimidated by their perception of the D/s dynamic, which is shaped by the media. Too much BDSM media portrays a total power exchange, a complete submission to another's will almost immediately. While the media creates some great porn, it also makes for a very scary situation for most people. So they opt to explore BDSM with switches. (Of course switches can be on either side of TPE too, but that's another topic for another time.)

I also know seasoned subs who believe they can have a more casual play relationship with a switch. Again, this is a perception. Switches also have intense D/s relationships - they just have more people (dominants, switches, and subs!) from which to choose.

(in reply to britishebony)

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RE: Subs who are actively searching for switches - 5/11/2009 10:09:28 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I have a close friend of mine who is a switch. She and I have known each other for a very, very long time. We met when she was searching for a submissive. She is ALWAYS dominant towards me, but she is naturally a switch. She just won't ever be a switch with me. I think that is the case with a lot of switches. She does all sorts of interesting things with so many different types of people, but with me, it's pretty obvious how our relationship works. And I've always been fine with that. And so is she.

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(in reply to ladylexington)

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RE: Subs who are actively searching for switches - 5/11/2009 10:37:07 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
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From what I've gathered on switches, most of them can't sub to the person they dom to and vice versa. I don't actively seek one out, but if I were to meet a switch who could be a Domme to me, but didn't expect me to be a dom to her, I would be at least be open to the possibility.

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(in reply to littlesarbonn)

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RE: Subs who are actively searching for switches - 5/12/2009 12:14:15 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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So far, I've never felt both dominant and submissive toward the same person. Most people just don't push my buttons in either direction! I can happily switch in terms of topping/bottoming in the same scene, or back-to-back scenes on the same day with the same person, or not switch at all over the course of a multi-year relationship.

I was a bit confused by the OP, as well. Some reasons why a submissive might want to seek out a switch that I can think of are: expanding their options (assuming they're also open to dating Dommes), if they're interested in exploring topping a bit as well, or like rough body play/wrestling/etc. that they feel most Dommes might perceive as topping from the bottom, having an image of Dommes as being evil/cruel or into Female Supremacy, perceiving switches as being more open to "bedroom" rather than lifestyle submissives, feeling that switches understand the mindset of submission/bottoming better, since they have experience on both sides of the whip, and in at least a few cases I've read about recently in the forums, actively enjoying serving someone who is submissive to someone else in turn.

(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)

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RE: Subs who are actively searching for switches - 5/12/2009 6:10:54 AM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
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Because switches can be just so awsome they can't help themselves.

Or that they actually might be a bit of a switch themselves which seems to be the normal case. They are looking for a person that might be willing to be a mix of different things to them. Just saying that as my personal experince.

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RE: Subs who are actively searching for switches - 6/1/2009 12:17:03 AM

xXMasterXx

Posts: 42
Joined: 12/14/2005
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It is almost impossible for a male sub to find a Domme...there just are't that many Dommes so its understandable

(in reply to SunNMoon)

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