What have you learned about yourself in BDSM?

What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (Full Version)

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greeneyedreamer -> What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 4:56:20 AM)
Well when asked this a few times, here is what I have come up with for myself. I am not a Masochist. I don't like pain...I need caring and gentle dominance. Compassionate and Passionate dominance. Nurturing dominance, a true concern for a submissives mental, emotional well being, as well as a true concern for her heart. I need to feel wanted and in turn I provide a tremendous amount of care and nurturing and pleasing. I found that out... Now when I respond that way to anyone, I get varying responses. Most very negative. (except from my dom, which is all that matters) Curious what does anyone else found?

DesFIP -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 9:25:48 AM)
I'm not into pain at all, bondage freak here. You have no idea about how many letters I got saying they would "teach" me to enjoy pain. I don't think so. I didn't even bother talking to anyone who identified as a sadist because I knew we weren't compatible. Unfortunately there are lots of men who can't manage a healthy relationship who think that being strict is somehow a substitute for communication and negotiation. Doesn't work.

IronBear -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 9:34:56 AM)
Irrespective of BDSM which is something I enjoy but can take it or leave it, hut regarding the M/s dynamic I feel comfortable and within both the Gorean and now the Victorian lifestyle I feel as though I have returned to family settings and a place where I can belong even without the company of others besides my Lady Neets. In other words, I am well inside my personal comfort zone just as a am with a Pagan format. On a whimsical and philosophic note, I am one of those odd bods who could happily walk out of todays screwed up society and live in a Feudal Sysyem provided I am one of the Feudals and never a serf.

greeneyedreamer -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 2:29:23 PM)
Des I know what you mean! Many tried to tell me I can be a Masochist... Nope it's not me. I don't like it. I have my own specific kinks but general pain isn't one of them. Funny they want to CHANGE us to meet their own needs. I found someone who has the same philosophy as I do and we have mostly similar kinks... Luck I suppose or we just knew what we needed.

peppermint -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 2:35:31 PM)
After months of agony trying to answer the question "Why am I this way"?, I finally found the answer to my question. The answer is that it does not matter why. What matters is that I accept myself for whomever I am and embrace all that is me.

CatdeMedici -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 2:58:46 PM)
I have come to learn it is the journey not the goal and the journey freed My soul. I have come to self revelation--nah, I have come to accept the revelations. I have come to learn that, much to My chagrin, I do believe I am past My prime, it is time to pack away the floggers, spend more time with the horses and let this "life" roll on---without Me.

IrishMist -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 3:02:17 PM)
I learned some much needed control [&:]

waiting2btaught -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 3:06:45 PM)
i have learned so much about myself since letting myself accept that i am a sub. i have known for a long time that i wanted to explore this lifestyle, but never had the ability to express my wants and desires. my Dom that is training me is having me keep a journal for Him and it has been very enlightening. i am 28 years old and i thought i knew myself pretty well... since discovering myself, i have been happier, have more confidence in myself, and can express my wants and desires, thanks to Sir.

DesFIP -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 3:10:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici I have come to learn that, much to My chagrin, I do believe I am past My prime, it is time to pack away the floggers, spend more time with the horses and let this "life" roll on---without Me. I'm 54 and that doesn't mean I'm too old to have a healthy relationship that includes a dynamic that works for me, and play that I enjoy. Taking a break doesn't mean you need to give up for good. Do you show the horses? We're into show season here, time to wash the fake tail and check the show trunk.

Goddess2002 -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 3:25:58 PM)
I've learned that there is at least ONE male out there with a will stronger than mine...as someone who had prided herself on being a successful Domme for many years, to find someone who stirs (gulp) submissive yearings within myself has me completely discombobulated. It came out of nowhere and has really taken me by surprise! [sm=wtf.gif]

greeneyedreamer -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 3:26:41 PM)
quote: I'm 54 and that doesn't mean I'm too old to have a healthy relationship that includes a dynamic that works for me, and play that I enjoy. I am 54 also.. and I just got started a year ago. WOW... I don't feel too old at all, maybe I am delusional? LOL I know I have never felt more at peace and more myself.

greeneyedreamer -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 3:53:37 PM)
quote: I've learned that there is at least ONE male out there with a will stronger than mine...as someone who had prided herself on being a successful Domme for many years, to find someone who stirs (gulp) submissive yearings within myself has me completely discombobulated. It came out of nowhere and has really taken me by surprise! (in reply to DesFIP) I totally understand. I spent years thinking I was in control and needed to be. In actuality, I WAS in control but it wasn't until I was on my knees that I actually felt free and whole. It was then that I realized who I was.

SlaveBlutarsky -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 4:27:50 PM)
I've learned it takes a lot more strength for me to be 'weak' than it takes for me to be strong. I've always been one of those strong silent types (even though I never shut up, go figure), so it's harder for me to be vulnerable and open up to what and who I am then it is to just suck the rest of life up and deal with it.

AlexandraLynch -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 4:43:43 PM)
I've learned to be comfortable with my own personal power and the exercise of it in overt, formalized ways.

lizi -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 4:52:45 PM)
I have found peace of mind and more confidence. I'm happy and comfortable being more self aware since I discovered BDSM.

sparkelfairy -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 5:36:25 PM)
There is a peace that comes with finally finding that missing part of yourself. In BDSM I am no longer a freak or sick person. I am a submissve with kinks that are accepted. It took 28 years to find it. For me it is being who I truley am.

Joseff -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 9:00:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sparkelfairy There is a peace that comes with finally finding that missing part of yourself. In BDSM I am no longer a freak or sick person. I am a submissve with kinks that are accepted. It took 28 years to find it. For me it is being who I truley am. What you said. I have also learned to controll myself, so that I can controll another.

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/12/2009 10:47:05 PM)
That I know how to love, and really do understand what love truly is.

ranja -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/13/2009 4:14:41 AM)
i have learned to admit that i have a dirty dirty dirty mind...and i have only scraped the surface

Phoenixpower -> RE: What have you learned about yourself in BDSM? (5/13/2009 4:32:03 AM)
I have learned that heavy bondage and fibromyalgia exclude each other...as my body decided to go for the fibromyalgia I have to keep looking jealous on the gorgeous heavy bondage pictures, knowing they are out of reach for me [&o]

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