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profile advice needed - 5/12/2009 2:37:37 PM

submc

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: offline

Hello,

I am seeking some advice or help with my profile. I have been a member of collarme for some time, but have not had any success in meeting people through the site. While I understand there are many factors that play a part in this, I wanted to start with a look at my profile, since that is the first thing available for people to see and read about me. Are there any glaring omissions or deal breakers that would cause a Dominant woman to move on or pass?

Thank you in advance for your help.

P.S. I hope this is the appropriate place in the forums to post this question.

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Post #: 1

RE: profile advice needed - 5/12/2009 2:45:55 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

It all sounds very very serious, maybe a more light hearted approach? Would love to meet a lot of new people...
The line about building a network sounds a bit like you're planning to sell Amway, then ask around for munches and meets in your local area, use the message boards to announce if you are going to some and ask for others to come and introduce themselves or meet up before or after. You really do only need to meet one or two people, because they will introduce you to more, all you need to do is to start and get the ball rolling.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to submc)

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Post #: 2

RE: profile advice needed - 5/12/2009 2:59:50 PM

submc

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: offline

Thank you for the response. I'll think of a way to change that networking part. I got the feeling part of previous profile may have come across as too wanting, so I tried to make it more accessible. Perhaps in that effort I made it too sterile.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

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Post #: 3

RE: profile advice needed - 5/12/2009 5:05:19 PM

Kaiel

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

I too, think your profile is a little ummm, "business like".... be yourself, relax.... and maybe hang out here in the forums sometimes..... there are certainly other ways of meeting people. LadyConstanze gave you some good ideas, try your local munches and local bdsm community.

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I keep My expectations and thread counts high- "catitude"

(in reply to submc)

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Post #: 4

RE: profile advice needed - 5/13/2009 10:11:14 AM

gentlemanprince

Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline

I agree with LadyContanze but I would add one more point. Your profile tells me very little about who you are, except that you are interested in bdsm. That pretty well is a given since you are on this site and identify as a submissive. As I have said in several other postings, I view a relationship between a Domme and a sub as being about much more than mutual enjoyment of kinks; it is about two personalities that click. A profile should tell the reader something about who you are as a person. Would a woman want to spend time with you apart from any bdsm activities. As my Lady told me when we met, 90% of a bdsm relationship looks exactly like a vanilla one. If your 90% is not in synch with her, the most you can hope for is a pleasant playmate.

You sound like a nice guy. Let that show through.

(in reply to Kaiel)

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Post #: 5

RE: profile advice needed - 5/13/2009 10:15:34 AM

ChampagneMojito

Posts: 77
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: UK
Status: offline

Personally, I like a little background info - do you like to read, go to movies, follow politics? What are your personal qualities - are you happy, introverted, shy, goofy, determined, patient?

I'd also agree with the others - a slightly more conversational, light tone would draw me in more.

Great pic though.

_____________________________

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~Anaïs Nin

(in reply to Kaiel)

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Post #: 6

RE: profile advice needed - 5/14/2009 3:18:26 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

I think you did a nice job on the checklists and also agree with the feedback that suggests loosening up your writing a bit more.
As I read the following paragraph from your profile, I thought, "What does that mean?":
"I am eager to learn, but require some patience as I work to find out what things I like to do in real time. I have been interested in bdsm for many years, but have struggled to get the time needed to develop myself with its realms."
I mean, i get the first part but what does the second part mean...you've struggled to get the time why?
Also, talk more about those many interests you mentioned on the checklists. Let people know what you're passionate about and best wishes in finding a person or people who will be passionate about you! :>
Davan

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Waiting is

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(in reply to ChampagneMojito)

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Post #: 7

RE: profile advice needed - 5/14/2009 4:08:43 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

I ditto ChampagneMojito: it's good that you have a photo, and it sets you apart nicely from other men that you have a photo which shows your face. However, there's almost nothing in your profile that offers any eye-catching "different" information about you. I already knew you were a non-dominant male, which means you probably want a top or a dominant. But what else are you looking for in a person? And who are you, as a person? What do you have to offer?

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"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to DavanKael)

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Post #: 8

RE: profile advice needed - 5/20/2009 3:47:51 PM

submc

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: offline

I just updated my profile with more information. Is it a step in the right direction? Too much, too little?

Again, a huge thank you to everyone who has taken the time to look at it and offered advice and suggestions.

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

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RE: profile advice needed - 5/20/2009 3:56:25 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Its subjective, some would like more info and some less. As long as you are yourself, and dont have a long list of what you want done to you, you should be fine.

(in reply to submc)

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Post #: 10

RE: profile advice needed - 5/20/2009 4:26:29 PM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

submc...

I just took a quick look over your profile and, although I didn't see it prior to updating, I thought it was quite good. Well-rounded with a nice mix of kink and outside interests. The photos are nice...you're right, a bit of sun wouldn't be bad

but that's easy to fix.

I like that you're upfront with the amount of experience you have and the desire to learn and explore your local bdsm community, time permitting. Kudos!

Post more in the forums, get out locally and don't forget to have fun...Good luck!

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to submc)

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Post #: 11