Worst pick-up lines... (Full Version)

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darklight17 -> Worst pick-up lines... (5/12/2009 8:36:34 PM)

Hey baby, want to play Titanic? I'll scream iceberg and you go down!

*this works better if someone else posts some terrible ones. otherwise, boy do I look foolish.




SteelofUtah -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/13/2009 6:11:20 AM)

Excuse me, Would you help me fulfil my best friends last wishes?

Sure. What is it.

Well, it was My Penis and he wanted to be burried in your ass.




MadAxeman -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/13/2009 9:47:18 AM)

Ah lines that have little chance?

Wanna go halves on a bastard?
You don't sweat much for a fatty.
How strong is your pelvis?
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.
Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
Your parents must be retarded, because you are special
Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?
I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.
Guy: "Would you like to dance?"
Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you."
Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"
I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?
I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?
I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this motel room.
Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.
Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.









janiebelle -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 8:59:32 AM)

I don't know if this qualifies as "worst" or just "dumb".
Cmail this morning "So, what brings you to collarme"? to which I replied "My intense interest in basketweaving and interpretive dance".
j




SteelofUtah -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 9:26:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: janiebelle

I don't know if this qualifies as "worst" or just "dumb".
Cmail this morning "So, what brings you to collarme"? to which I replied "My intense interest in basketweaving and interpretive dance".
j


That there is a winner. You would be on my list of garbage to go through with that answer.

.......Stalk you Later.

Steel




purepleasure -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 10:33:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: janiebelle

I don't know if this qualifies as "worst" or just "dumb".
Cmail this morning "So, what brings you to collarme"? to which I replied "My intense interest in basketweaving and interpretive dance".
j


I'd have answered the internet....


and a fetish for burly men wearing black leather.




Vendaval -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 11:42:29 AM)

Boredom and the need for new masturbation photos.  [8D]

quote:

ORIGINAL: janiebelle
Cmail this morning "So, what brings you to collarme"?




FourQ -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 4:17:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: janiebelle
"So, what brings you to collarme"? 

A love of kink and an Asychronous Digital Subsriber Line through a NAT enabled RIP2 and
Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol enabled WLAN router connected to a BMS server hosted upon a static WAN IP.
The former you already know about so I'll assume if you respond you're keen on learning the finer points of the latter?
...
...
...
Booooorrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnggg




NightTigress -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 4:29:01 PM)

If I say you have a hot body, would you hold it against me?




FourQ -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 4:30:43 PM)

Excuse me love, my face is leaving in a few minutes, I'd like you to be on it!




FourQ -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 4:32:12 PM)

Forgot to add the one in my sig:
If I flip a coin what are my chances of getting head?




LadySweetOrSour -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 4:33:31 PM)

Get your coat on love, you've pulled.




KyttynTheMynx -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 4:47:48 PM)

I think I posted this elsewhere, but its been so long, so I will say it again.

Had this guy walk up to me in the parking lot as I was leaving work one day. 

"Hey, you!" 
"Me?  Yea?"
-moron looks at his crotch and then me- "It aint gonna suck itself, so why dont you help me out and handle it?" 
"Poor silly boy.  Cant suck what isnt there!" -i continue to my car and chuckle while his friends laugh at him-




FourQ -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 4:50:20 PM)

I've have told him you don't go about sucking strange blokes' zips.




SteelofUtah -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 4:53:20 PM)

"I'm Drunk and You're Ugly, Lets fuck and make it a night we both wanna forget"

Actually said in a Local Vegas Bar.... nearly fell off my stool.

Steel




KyttynTheMynx -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 5:14:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FourQ

I've have told him you don't go about sucking strange blokes' zips.


And get my slut card revoked?  No way.  These ladies here would boot me outta the club in a New York minute!




alexus -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 5:24:50 PM)

Man walks up to a woman on the street.  He says.."Can I smell your Pussy"?  The woman slaps his face and says "No you can not"!  The man says..."Oh, it must have been your feet then"




PeonForHer -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 6:05:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: janiebelle

I don't know if this qualifies as "worst" or just "dumb".
Cmail this morning "So, what brings you to collarme"? to which I replied "My intense interest in basketweaving and interpretive dance".
j


[:D] Excellent response.  *Cackle*




PeonForHer -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 6:09:11 PM)

In my best Terry-Thomas voice : "Hell-AY-oo.  You're a pretty little thing, aren't you?  Ding-dong!" 

Thing is - it actually worked.  She went off saying "You're f***ing mad, you are"  - then came back and we started talking. 





Saratov -> RE: Worst pick-up lines... (5/14/2009 7:44:05 PM)

Well, heck honey, we's ony second cousins it'll be okay.. git in the truck..




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