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Would you train your Boss? - 5/14/2009 6:56:31 PM

Shadowscall

Posts: 6
Joined: 5/3/2009
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Hello all,
I have an interesting question and would like some input.

I have been on here for a couple weeks, I am not new to the lifestyle, just had to take a few years off due to numerous surgeries.

I recently have come across a man who told me that he wanted Me to train him as a submissive. Well np, but in next breath he said he wanted to hire me as his Assistant to help with phone calls to make appointments for him and help with seminars, etc. This job would be part-time, for extra money, not a true career, nor any benefits. He said that he made his mind up as soon as we had spoken on the phone. Last night, we spoke on the phone and he said he was impressed with my former jobs, etc. And that he wants to see me this weekend. Not to talk business, but to get to know Me better.
Now...my question is "Would you train your boss as a submissive?" I am sure he doesnt know much about the lifestyle cause he asked I send some information to him.

I want to add, I met with this guy in person, we spoke business and then some conversation came up about D/s. So I believe he is genuinely interested. But I am not sure this is a wise thing to do, mixing business with pleasure :)

Thanks,
Shadowscall

< Message edited by Shadowscall -- 5/14/2009 7:04:14 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/14/2009 7:03:37 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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No...no...no friggin way! Real fast way to fall under his direction and to lose a job!

I had a great job offer and after working for many, many hours on a presentation on how to make the business better, bring in more money and be the manager of one of the largest clubs in the state. When I went to meet with the guy who had been trying to hire me for almost a year... he looked me dead in the eye and said... I don't know if I want to hire you as manager or set you up as my mistress in an apartment with a salary. He was a famous man... attractive and married. I looked him dead in the eye and said... You just lost my business plan, my help and all I could do for your business. Which he knew was a lot because he had seen me work and how I handled things. Maybe I should have gotten his autograph before I said that, eh? At least I could have sold it and gotten paid for the hours I spent on the business plan.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 5/14/2009 7:07:33 PM >

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/14/2009 7:07:38 PM

Shadowscall

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Joined: 5/3/2009
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Thanks Lockit for the advice.
I do know he isn't married. Which is a good thing.

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/14/2009 7:10:44 PM

Venatrix

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As long as you don't care about losing the job, give it a try. I'd be surprised if it lasted very long, though.

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/14/2009 7:12:54 PM

Lockit

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I know some who have made it work but they didn't start out under those conditions. When they start out wanting to mix business with pleasure... watch out. If it evolves once hire.. that can be a bit different. I know a few it actually worked with and a couple that ended in marriage, but when they start that way... be careful or get the business end in writing as in contract!

Good luck to you! I know it is tempting and sounds great if it works... but that is a risk. Unless you can afford to take a job and lose it... not always worth the risk.

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/14/2009 7:13:27 PM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shadowscall

Thanks Lockit for the advice.
I do know he isn't married. Which is a good thing.

Yes, but you would be dependent on him, what if he changes his mind, decides that it's not for him and then is embarrassed about it? Not only will you lose the job, he will also make sure that you won't work for anybody he might know because he'd be far too worried that word gets around. NOT A GOOD IDEA unless you are willing to risk your professional future.

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/14/2009 7:21:08 PM

Shadowscall

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Joined: 5/3/2009
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Thanks everyone for your input, that is kind of how I am feeling about this. Not a situation I have been in before.

I think I would do him more good as his Assistant than his Mistress. So thanks for confirming my thoughts.

Thanks again all!
Shadowscall

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 7

RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/14/2009 10:03:29 PM

DarkSteven

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If you want to blackmail hi, I couldn't imagine a better situation.

If you don't, then this whole thing is a terrible idea.

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/15/2009 5:12:47 AM

frankieboy52

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Joined: 4/29/2009
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well let me see here..i am not a Domina so it would be hard for me to really give great advice..but all men are sluts and pigs so here goes...first i would flat out tell him he is going to hire you and that any further discussion about "training"will not take place for the next 30 days as he must think about what he truly wants and put it down on paper.An essay stating his desire not his needs.Then string him along a tad longer..maybe 15 days or so and then wait for everyone to go home and push him into his office and tie and gag him and place clothespins on his balls and nipple clamps on well..you know then grab his package really firm and ask the simple question"are you absoluitely sure this is what you want"?At that point..you will either be fired or have a lifelong position with the company.Now don't take me seriously..just think it over...i talk out of my mind sometimes but some of these "help me" questions can be out of body experiences...either way..i wish you luck and best wishes.

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/15/2009 5:18:18 AM

CatdeMedici

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Rule Number One: Never dip your pen in company ink, I don't care if the work is lifestyle or thatstyle---its bad business.

And if the business is legit in any form or fashion, the guy for whatever reason gets peod---he can sue YOU for sexual harassment.

Just sounds to Me like someone who has figured out how to have his cookies and eat them too.

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/15/2009 6:22:19 AM

thetammyjo

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No!

I would never have a Ds or BDSM dynamic with anyone in my immediate workplace let alone a person above me in the hierarchy.

When things go bad, you should assume they will, that hurts not only your personal life but your career/work life. Why risk that?

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(in reply to Shadowscall)

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/15/2009 6:25:46 AM

MsDDom

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Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
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quote:

Now...my question is "Would you train your boss as a submissive?"

yes...and even irregardless of gender (umm, I am straight).
If I could be in the scenario, I'd train my boss to shut up when I am talking so I don't have to repeat myself...or say, "I told you that wasn't feasible!"

anyway...have fun!

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/15/2009 6:32:29 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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I can only speak for me. I like to keep a firm boundary between my work life and my social life, so no, I wouldn't consider training my boss, nor would I consider taking on anyone from my workplace in that kind of role. I would be willing to work in the same company/institution with someone else from our household, but not in a situation where we'd have to interact regularly, or where there might be conflicts between our roles that would make it difficult to either do our jobs or make the transition between work life and not-work life... it's just -way- too complicated for my tastes.

Dame Calla

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/15/2009 6:59:26 AM

Venatrix

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Joined: 11/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

And if the business is legit in any form or fashion, the guy for whatever reason gets peod---he can sue YOU for sexual harassment.

She could also sue him for sexual harassment, because he "forced" her into doing this to keep her job. It will be a case of "he said, she said." In spite of the fact that I think it is a stupid idea, if two people consent to engaging in such an activity and are willing to take the potential consequences, then that's their business (sorry about the pun). I've never heard of a law that says you can't dominate your boss if both agree to it, especially if there's no sex involved, and nowhere in the original post is having sexual relations mentioned.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 14

RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/15/2009 7:09:35 AM

LadyConstanze

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I have to admit I did use it to my advantage, I was in an online BDSM chat (about 10 years ago) and one of the guys admitted to a foot and high heel fetish, we chatted a bit, he sounded quite nice and the more he said about himself, like work, hobbies, etc. the more I thought "Sounds like somebody I know...", when he mentioned that one of the journalists had an amazing pair of high heels she wore once and described them, he would never act on it being a work situation but he had a hard time not staring at her feet at the meeting, a light bulb went on, I asked him more about "her" and bingo....

So whenever I had to take something up with the editor, I made sure I had the appropriate footwear, I did use the situation to a certain extend to push a few things on my agenda, but I would never have dreamed of walking in and saying "OK, naughty boy, I know you were looking at my feet and shoes again, kneel down and kiss them" that would have been unprofessional, but occasionally dangling a high heeled court shoe on my toe or acting all innocent, rubbing the heel of my foot or an arch and saying "Oh dear, shoes are killing me" and he would agree that certain editorial changes were really not needed...

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/15/2009 9:54:45 AM

ShaktiSama

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I would never enter into a sexual dynamic and a job at the same time, especially if I was expected to be subordinate in the job and dominant in the sexual dynamic. It sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen, to me, and I wouldn't believe that either offer was sincere or solid.

A guy who offers himself as my submissive and immediately seeks a position of power over me as my employer/boss is not secure in his desire to exchange power with me. He's looking for a security blanket of control and dominance. Wouldn't ever trust that dynamic in a million years.

A guy who offers me a job and wants me to perform sexual acts of ANY kind in conjunction with that job is not being objective in his assessment of my skills and values as an employee. There's no way I could ever trust him not to allow his opinion of my sexual performance to colour his opinion of my job performance. Personally, I tend to think it's a bad idea to bang the boss at all, but it becomes a serious moral issue if he has other employees who have to compete with honest work for their promotions, raises and bonuses--people who use sex to get hired or get ahead in the workplace are rightly and inevitably condemned and resented by other employees.

Sounds like a bad deal to me. No offense is intended, but if it was me I would recognize that I had to choose either the job or the D/S--and that of the two, the D/S was more likely to work out if I refused the job.

< Message edited by ShaktiSama -- 5/15/2009 9:55:32 AM >

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/15/2009 10:11:45 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

Personally, I tend to think it's a bad idea to bang the boss at all, but it becomes a serious moral issue if he has other employees who have to compete with honest work for their promotions, raises and bonuses--people who use sex to get hired or get ahead in the workplace are rightly and inevitably condemned and resented by other employees.

I never banged a boss or a co-worker, but I guess I would have to be condemned for using the foot and heel fetish of a boss to manipulate him a bit (without letting on that I knew that he has those fetishes), but at least I didn't use it to get ahead or to get more money, in a publication that was a bit heavy on the male side, I saw it as a just advantage, I regularly dealt with comments from coworkers "Do you fancy him?" when I was pushing for featuring an artist who wasn't done to death by all the other publications, I had to regularly defend myself against their prejudices of why they would know better on account of their Y chromosome, I saw it as simply beating them at their own game. I never forced the editor to stare at my feet and agree with my proposals, nor did I stop my male co-workers from applying the same tactics, they could have worn high heels...

And I'm pretty sure that when a rival publication poached me with an increased salary and an editorial position, that it was on account of my articles and not on account of my shoes or feet.

Sexual favours to get ahead or get hired - big NO
A boss that can be manipulated by me just being me, including professional arguments - hell YES, if he can't be professional enough to look away from my shoes, it's his fault! Not like I wore a see-through top or anything like that!

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/15/2009 11:52:15 AM

ShaktiSama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

A boss that can be manipulated by me just being me, including professional arguments - hell YES, if he can't be professional enough to look away from my shoes, it's his fault! Not like I wore a see-through top or anything like that!

Lol! That's exactly what it was like. A man who has a fetish for shoes and feet is no different for a man who has a fetish for breasts.

Using sex to manipulate men in the workplace is not "beating them at their own game", it's playing the game as they expect you to play. Sex is the only thing a woman is good for in the eyes of certain men, and it is the only power they think you should EVER wield, regardless of whether the time and place is appropriate.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

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RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/15/2009 1:17:54 PM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

A boss that can be manipulated by me just being me, including professional arguments - hell YES, if he can't be professional enough to look away from my shoes, it's his fault! Not like I wore a see-through top or anything like that!

Lol! That's exactly what it was like. A man who has a fetish for shoes and feet is no different for a man who has a fetish for breasts.

Using sex to manipulate men in the workplace is not "beating them at their own game", it's playing the game as they expect you to play. Sex is the only thing a woman is good for in the eyes of certain men, and it is the only power they think you should EVER wield, regardless of whether the time and place is appropriate.

I disagree absolutely there, I was wearing high heels before, I used his weakness knowingly instead of unknowingly.

Typical situation: Who do we feature this month
Bunch of guys (all old school) going "X has a new album out and a tour" X was going to be featured by every bloody magazine in the world and he wasn't discriminating who he gave interviews too, the interviews were all pretty boring because he was slightly well, boring and did the same album with different covers again and again. I suggested Y, new artist up and coming, clearly going to hit big, just about to be a household name, not done to death, hell of an interview, not afraid to ruffle feathers, made a great read... So I suggested "Let's feature Y slightly bigger but cover X the same, X will say the same as usual 'most personal album so far, yadda yadda, thanks to the record company, yadda yadda' while Y talks about sex, drugs and rock'n'roll, affairs, record companies screwing artists over, stuff that is interesting and he is big enough, we don't want to be tired and old, our image is cutting edge..." Same argument, very valid, wouldn't have gotten anywhere with a bit of distraction.
No sex wasn't what I was good for, nobody got any, the boss though I innocently fed his fetish, got distracted, magazine had great articles, great articles lead to me getting a better job offer.

While I used my brain, he was thinking with his cock, simple as that.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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Post #: 19

RE: Would you train your Boss? - 5/15/2009 5:15:58 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Same argument, very valid, wouldn't have gotten anywhere with a bit of distraction.

No sex wasn't what I was good for, nobody got any, the boss though I innocently fed his fetish, got distracted, magazine had great articles, great articles lead to me getting a better job offer.

While I used my brain, he was thinking with his cock, simple as that.

The point I was making was also simple: you obviously weren't just using your brain. Using your brain and your talent wasn't cutting it for you. That's why you resorted to using sex, and yes, you were using sex to get ahead. The extra column inches and the assignments you were getting helped you get the better job you were looking for, it just didn't happen to be a promotion at that particular office.

I've seen other women do this sort of thing and make excuses for it all my life, so believe me it's nothing new. In fact, most people who believe in the "battle of the sexes" would say it's pretty much the oldest trick in the book. It's also the reason that many men, even those who otherwise aren't sexist and do not believe women are their inferiors, do not like to have women in their workplace. At the end of the day, 90% of all men, including men in authority, are heterosexual. Other men can only get ahead under their authority through honest work and merit, not by distracting and manipulating them sexually. And this is true in any professional setting, including publishing.

If you thought I was accusing you of sleeping with the guy, you misread my post. Whether anyone in that office "got any" from you is irrelevant. Teasing is not a great claim to moral superiority over putting out, under those conditions. The problem is that the other people in your office did not have the luxury of selling their ideas to the editor with a stacked heel. They had to get their ideas across the hard way and earn their column inches by doing work that the boss considered "quality". Meanwhile, all you had to do was stick your little tootsies in the boss's face. How do you think that made them feel?

If the other writers on the staff didn't realize you were doing it with your shoes, the one or two of them who had two brain cells to rub together still would have realized that you were jerking the guy's dick somehow. And personally, I would not take it kindly to have to deal with that in my workplace, nor would most of the men and women I have worked with in professional settings. But in fairness, I wouldn't appreciate a gay or bisexual man using a pair of tight pants to get one over on a het female or homosexual male boss either.

< Message edited by ShaktiSama -- 5/15/2009 5:17:30 PM >

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

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