For Geoff (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity



Message


MoGa -> For Geoff (5/15/2009 7:32:21 AM)

I would like to ask for your prayers and your support in helping Geoff (youngsubgeoff) at this time. He is and has been going through a really rough time for a few months now. He has started using drugs again and has been drinking heavily. He would be grateful for any kind of words of encouragement that you can give to him. He has asked me to start this thread in hopes that he will get the support that he needs and I hope that there will be no flaming involved or accusations for what was done in the past.
 
Thank you so much for being here for him <Hugs to all>
 
MoGa




BossyShoeBitch -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 7:35:15 AM)

My words of encouragement are few but mighty:

Go to a meeting!

"It works if you work it." 




LaTigresse -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 7:56:21 AM)

I don't know if my version of tough love is appropriate.

Geoff, I've watched too many people I care about struggle with alcohol and drugs. My ex-husband lost everything because of it and is now losing his life at age 50.

My daughter almost lost her life repeatedly due to drugs. Now she is happy and healthy. Married to a man that adores her and is the mother of a beautiful little baby girl.

My father damned near drank himself to death last month. Fortunately for him, we have the most amazingly resilient genetics known to mankind and is getting a second chance. He isn't throwing it away. He is back home and rebuilding his life at age 70.

Each of the above people were/are addicts. In addition they were self medicating. Numbing deeper stuff, hiding in the booze and drugs, avoiding a painful truth or reality. Unfortunately, that truth they were hiding from didn't go away just because they got drunk or stoned. Usually it got bigger, more painful, and more complex because of the drugs and/or booze.

I remember several times when my daughter thought she wanted to die. Die to escape her pain and painful realities that were haunting her. She almost did, twice. Yet somehow, she was able to find a reason to keep fighting. So did my dad. Both of them are now surrounded by people that love them. Really love them. Some of the people in their lives disappeared. It was painful but the reality is, they needed to go.

My exhusband never found a reason to fight. He always had an excuse book. It was always someone else's fault. "Oh poor me." He now has no one. Slowly they all gave up, couldn't take the constant hell of trying to care about someone that refused to do one thing to help themself. Exhausted, sickened, fed up, we all got on with our own lives. We found our own joys. Occasionally we will think of him, our smile fades, our eyes get a distant look, remembering the person we once knew. Knowing very little of that handsome smiling young man remains in the diseased bitter, prematurely old, man that remains. It is a sad waste, a sad end to what might have been. Not for us, we survived. But for the life he might have had. The children he doesn't know, the grandchildren he has never met. The love they would have shared with him. All less important than booze and drugs. Booze and drugs are his family, his lover, his only friends, they are also his tormentor, his uncaring killer.

It's your choice Geoff, you can drag your ass off to the nearest help/treatment centre and beg them to help you. To heal. To save your own life. To learn to live a life of joy. The ball is in your court. You have to want it.......more than anything else.

You have a choice. What are you going to do today? Keep drinking? Get high again? Think about it tomorrow?

Guess what dude......tomorrow never comes. Get off your fucking ass and go get help today.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 8:11:59 AM)

My beloved MoGa, you are an example of forgiveness that I wish I could follow!




beargonewild -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 8:49:39 AM)

MoGa,

It pains me to hear of a person who's struggling with personal demons and tries to find some sort of comfort in a bottles and/or drugs. Over the years, I've gone down that path myself and found that it does nothing to ease the pain a person is feeling inside and it ends up making life a miserable hell. Luckily I was fortunate enough to kick myself in the ass and changed that behavior before it became an addiction that got out of control. That is why I keep such a rigid control on the amount of alcohol I rarely consume.

What most people don't realize is many of my friends are in the program and I do see first hand what they go through. My first reaction was to advise Geoff to seek counseling and/or go to meetings though with some thought I realize that is not my way. I do wish Geoff the strength to do what he must to ease his pain and be able to live a life that is healthy for him. I will keep him in my thoughts and I also know that he has his path to walk in life and may he find the ability to do right for himself. Blessed Be.




angelikaJ -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 9:20:14 AM)

I have not taken sides.
I have offered support.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When someone has overwhelming pain it is easy to think they are unique in their pain and grief.

The dark side of being unique is difficult.
We feel isolated and alone.

Add to that alcohol and other drugs and our pain is mortared around us.

I believe in "shared sorrows are halved and shared joys doubled".

Being in the company of people who understand such as in a drug/alcohol program goes a long way towards tempering 'terminal uniqueness'.

12 step programs can work for atheists for that very reason... the group conscience can be the higher power.

Geoff,
Part of the good part about being an adult is when things don't work we can make new choices...and when we make bad ones we can make changes.

Drugs and booze aren't working for you.

That does not mean you are out of options.

You have many options that all begin with the first step:
getting help.

Make the call.




sirsholly -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 9:25:12 AM)

Geoff,

No one here can help you, though we would if we could. YOU have to help yourself and the first step is to realize you are worth the effort.
Once you do that, step two is obvious.....call for help.

Right now you are in a very lazy place. You have fallen and you CAN get up, but it is a hard thing to do. It is easier to just stay where you are. But Geoff, it is also a lonely place, and a painful place. Get up, please?




girlygurl -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 10:13:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

the good part about being an adult is when things don't work we can make new choices


I like that a lot!


I can not speak for you Geoff, so I will speak for myself, and maybe through my words you will find something that speaks to you.
I know when I used drugs I was temporarily happy, never truly happy. My priorities were ass backwards. I can still remember the day when I made a positive step and reached out for help. It was painfully emotional, but I knew I couldn't continue to live the way I was living. I can still remember the joy I felt when I began to make positive changes in my life. I placed those that should have been a priority at the top of the list (that included me).
If you have tasted sobriety then you know how sweet it is. Be it one day or one year it is YOURS. Words of wisdom, encouragement, and experience can only go so far online. It's my belief that surrounding oneself around sober and/or trained professionals will get you to that day of freedom.

MoGa, Geoff is indeed fortunate to have you in his life.




Rainfire -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 10:13:59 AM)

I'll try to keep this short but heaven knows it ain't always easy with this particular topic.

As some of you know since I mentioned it once on another thread, I am a former cocaine addict. $300-500 a day habit. On top of alcohol abuse. I am also an example that quitting can be done, it's tough as hell but doable. I had a choice between living and dying, being with a man who loved me or being with drugs/alcohol. I quite frankly didn't have much time left if I stayed with drugs and knew it. I made the decision for me that life and love were much more important than any high or drug. I quit cold turkey, never saw a doctor, never went to meetings, just quit. Changed my life so that I no longer had any contact with people who used. Focused on my soon to be husband and just living. It took some time but it worked. I've been clean for over 20 years and drink only occasionally. Unfortunately, once an addict, no matter how long you've been clean, a lot of people always see you as an addict. So I don't talk about it much.

Geoff, if you really want to, you can quit and be successful. But it's up to you. We can be here for you, we can talk with you but in the end, it's all up to you. Whether you go to meetings, see a doctor, go into rehab, or change your life and do it yourself, it's all up to you - your call, your decision. If you want to talk, cmail me. Just keep in mind that there are those of us here that have been there, done that and changed our lives for the better.

Besides, knowing myself as I do, I figure if I can do it, so can you. [:)]

Good luck!




LaTigresse -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 1:33:04 PM)

So what's it going to be boy?

Yeah, I see you up there......peeking.




youngsubgeoff -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 1:42:45 PM)

Thank you everyone for your support. Its a hard fight, but Im working through it.




LaTigresse -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 1:59:39 PM)

Don't give up on yourself Geoff.




sirsholly -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 2:16:56 PM)

and don't try to do it alone....




Phoenixpower -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 2:44:50 PM)

then work hard on you to stay strong Geoff.

I was never involved with drugs, so I can't talk from that perspective but I also know that I am only still here today as I always had the right person at the right time who pulled me back on track after a variety of disasters. I struggle most days already a lot without taking drugs, but keep working hard on me not to get too down or depressed.

In regards to alcohol my grandpa died on alcoholism and died after he went into liver coma in 2005. Whilst, of course, he wasn't that young anymore, he was - in my view - not that old either with 79 and I just thought and still think at times that it is a shame that he wasted his life (as despite his alcohol problem he was physically always very healthy and considering the age from his several siblings and the fact that his mum died when she was 97 I am sure he would have had about 10+ years longer without the alcohol, and probably would have died earlier if my beloved granny wouldn't have kept thinning his alcohol with water...he often went mad at her and about 10 years before he died we even tried to encourage her to leave him as we struggled to cope with it to see what she goes through with him...but she continued the way until he died and followed him just about two years later). However, I simply know from that experience how people can change from such addictions.

My dad (his son in law) used to use very rude words about him which hurt me regular as after all and even a sister from grandpa honored me for the fact that I spend the money and time to fly home for his funeral, as according to her..I should not have bothered to do that because of someone like him...well, my view was quite different about him, as after all, he was my grandpa and not "just anyone." Yes, he was not easy...but actually deep down he, after granny, used to care most about me from my family. I had a flashback of memories a while ago as currently I reflect a lot about my family...and he actually did bother when he felt to see signs of potential danger for me...e. g. once he went mad at me because a neighbour gave me a lift home from school...I did not understand him at that time why he makes such a fuss about as that neighbour was no danger, he seriously was nice...nevertheless, considering that a few years later I went through abuse from a different neighbour which had a huge impact on my life, I value it a lot today, that he tried a bit to look after me. On another occassion he told me off for having a cigarette lighter with me...I was not smoking at that time (and only smoked for a very brief period as a teenager) and again I could not believe what fuss he made...which was again at a time where was no reason for that...but looking back I appreciate that he was bothered about what I was doing during the day. Also when i was younger we used to play cards during the day sometimes and I knew if I dare to cheat (which was never something I was too keen on, so just sometimes in a cheeky way a bit but not really in a rude way) then he would stop to play straight away. He had his values and made sure I learn them, which again, I appreciate from him.The reason why I am saying this is because it would be nicer if I could look back to him with just those memories...and not with the overshadowing memories how we had many edgy christmas parties because we knew he might behave nasty again during the celebration or afterwards to granny once they get home. For us it was easy-ish, as we had our distance, but my concern was always for granny, that she has to cope with his continuisly worsening attitude...as she did not manage just to stay with my parents for a while and to leave him coping alone or even to leave him for good. So as much as I appreciate that I realise that deep down he actually did care about me...it hurts to know that his alcohol addiction did kill him. And I am sure that there are people out there who would prefer to be with you, instead of thinking similar about you, once the addiction would take you away far too early for no damn reason.

Now you might think I can talk easily because I hadn't an addiction as such myself as I stated I never got in touch with drugs (and don't like alcohol really either), well, just because I was well away from getting in touch with them I do know that this is only the case as I always had the right person near me when needed. In 2004 I had an abortion (which leaves a big scar between me and my family as I wouldn't have had this termination if I my parents would have behaved different then they did at that time) and was told afterwards that they struggled a lot with my blood pressure during that operation and also that I developed flu during that short period of time...they seriously got concerned about how I am coping with it and I am sure that this struggle was not because of plain physical health issues, but because spoken from my "soul" I did not really want to do it, yet I did not see another way during that time then to go that way. Do I regret it? Yes I do, but I also know that nevertheless in the circumstances I was I simply could not do it any differently. Whilst I recovered as such from that experience it was not easy and in 2005 I had times where I thought that I can't do anymore and thankfully my ex did take over in that time and pushed me hard to keep going. He even does not know that really, how close I was to give up after simply my world felt as being fallen appart and not getting any better since 2004. I am glad I had him and am still appreciating a lot to have him here as a friend. So just because I never used drugs, that does not mean that I do not know how hard it can be to "keep going" and to get strong again to choose the right direction. I am still far away from being fine (and that despite that operation in 2004 the loss of my grandparents in 2005 and 2007 on top of it did not make me feel any happier) but at least I am glad that I had my ex who was there, when needed. 

Others said to attend support groups or counselling. Seriously, go! Well, nope...don't go...run!!!

I wish I would have attended such a form of support before I made my decision in 2004 (I did try many ways to keep my strength to continue the pregnancy but so called "dear friends" were obviously not friends at all when they were needed and the ones which would have been able to help me I did not see at that time)...you have people who advice you to go...so be Geoff enough to listen and do it...you have nothing to loose with doing that step....you can only win! Good luck [:)]




purepleasure -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 3:01:15 PM)

Geoff,

I will pray that you find the strength and courage to get the help you need.  You're not alone in your struggle to stay clean and sober, but the success in doing so is MAJORLY sweet. 




AngelGeena -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 3:08:59 PM)

winning at anything takes huge effort and strength.  you are fortunate to have someone in your corner that truly cares.  you can make it.  one minute, one hour, one day at a time.  my best to you in the strength for your battle...may you be victorious.




Kalista07 -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 3:24:51 PM)

Geoff,
There's so much i wish i had the energy or ability to say to you..... Go to a meeting and don't leave before the miracle happens.....  Your higher power (whatever that is...God, nature, a tree, a force, an entity...someone who passed along before you) did not bring you this far to drop you.... Just do not use for this hour, for this evening, for this day, for this weekend, for this week, for this month, etc. etc. etc.  There were times in my past when i wanted to do stupid and harmful things and i would literally tell myself, "okay...i won't drink until i finish reading this page" or "okay, i'm not going to cut until i'm done cleaning the bedroom" or "i wont hurt myself until i've gone for a two mile walk". The thing is Geoff, somehow someway somewhere recovery and i got stuck together.  Remember there's good about being sober and there's bad about being sober.
Son Of aBitch Everythings Real.

As Rain always says, "This too shall pass".
Feel free to email me anytime.
Kali




DesFIP -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 3:46:02 PM)

My father's 82. We're looking for an assisted living place that takes in those with dementia. He doesn't have Alzheimer's. He has alcohol induced dementia. Too many brain cells dies over the years. He doesn't know where he is, what day it is. Doesn't know who he was talking to on the phone a minute after they hang up. Doesn't remember his grandchildren.

He just sits in a chair lost in himself.

Don't do that to yourself. You deserve better.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 6:09:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

and don't try to do it alone....


He says that he has a new Owner, I would think that she would take an interest in her property's state of mind.




DarkSteven -> RE: For Geoff (5/15/2009 6:17:29 PM)

Geoff, you're handsome and articulate.  You have a good future if you don't snort or drink it away.

I have no problem offering you support here BUT this is in no way a substitute for a REAL, support group.  Make sure you get yourself to one.  Pronto.




Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.078125