Basic Mistress Etiquette (Full Version)

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lockandtease -> Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/15/2009 8:47:25 PM)

Hey, I was wondering if any one could either explain to me or point me to a resource for the proper manner in which to address a Mistress and what basic limits are and such.  Basically a guide to the etiquette or submission, particular in a communication manner, how to address them, when its ok to ask for things etc.  



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/15/2009 8:59:40 PM)

Sadly, there is no handbook for such things.  Every person is different.  POLITENESS is the name of the game, no matter what.  Be courteous, and if you want to know how that lady wants to be addressed, ask her. 

Until you have a relationship with a dominant, she is not YOUR dominant, she is a human being on the same level as you.  Do what you would normally do to make a good impression.

edited for clarity



AcademyForSlaves -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/15/2009 9:28:29 PM)

Pleasing a Mistress can be similar to pleasing a Woman sexually; a man must remember that each Woman is different. However, yes there are certain basic standards which most Mistresses appreciate. Such as:

1. Be polite.
2. you can begin by addressing Her as "Mistress" until She corrects you with another name or title She prefers.
3. Rather than to list out what you like or want, instead ask how you can serve HER.
4. If emailing Her, do not attach a picture until She requests one.
5. Ask what She would like to know about you, then go from there.

Hope this is helpful.



kttqnp -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/15/2009 9:30:26 PM)

I personally hate messages that begin with "Hey".



AAkasha -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/15/2009 9:30:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Pleasing a Mistress can be similar to pleasing a Woman sexually; a man must remember that each Woman is different. However, yes there are certain basic standards which most Mistresses appreciate. Such as:

1. Be polite.
2. you can begin by addressing Her as "Mistress" until She corrects you with another name or title She prefers.
3. Rather than to list out what you like or want, instead ask how you can serve HER.
4. If emailing Her, do not attach a picture until She requests one.
5. Ask what She would like to know about you, then go from there.

Hope this is helpful.


#2 is horrible advice. Never address a woman you do not know as "Mistress."

Akasha



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/15/2009 9:31:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Pleasing a Mistress can be similar to pleasing a Woman sexually; a man must remember that each Woman is different. However, yes there are certain basic standards which most Mistresses appreciate. Such as:

1. Be polite.
2. you can begin by addressing Her as "Mistress" until She corrects you with another name or title She prefers.
3. Rather than to list out what you like or want, instead ask how you can serve HER.
4. If emailing Her, do not attach a picture until She requests one.
5. Ask what She would like to know about you, then go from there.

Hope this is helpful.


#2 is horrible advice. Never address a woman you do not know as "Mistress."

Akasha



I agree!  For many of us, MISTRESS or the like are titles to be earned. 



LadyPact -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/15/2009 9:37:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kttqnp

I personally hate messages that begin with "Hey".

It's better than those that close with 'holla back' so at least there is that.

Seriously, OP, this is the advice that I tend to give people who ask this question.  Before any person is looking at the lifestyle etiquette, they are looking at good, old fashioned, every day manners first.  Kind of like you have to walk before you can run.


ETA, I also agree that #2 in a prior response is absolutely incorrect.  Addressing someone as "Mistress" is improper unless you are in service to or wearing that person's collar.  Not only did I earn My title, the one who uses it has to earn that privilege as well.





LadyHibiscus -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/15/2009 9:38:52 PM)

Oh gosh, some guy wrote me and said, "What's good?"   I had to ask one of my friends what he even MEANT. 



BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/15/2009 10:04:17 PM)

I can't stand being referred to as "G-ddess".. Ugh..
and,  I think AcademyforSlaves (sorry!) was off the mark in saying, "Don't send a picture until requested".

A tasteful full length shot is required.   For fucks sake, NO COCK SHOTS (unless you are told to of course).



kttqnp -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/15/2009 10:28:13 PM)

What Bossy Shoe Bitch said, definitely.



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/15/2009 10:51:08 PM)

I'm jealous!
No one's ever asked me to holla back, lol.

My favorite direct to block button introdution is " would you like to do this to me?"    M



masmiss -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/16/2009 3:24:59 AM)

I absolutely hate getting a message that has a long list of the sub's favorite kinks then ends with the sentence: "If you're into any of this get back to me".   



Sunnyfey -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/16/2009 3:48:52 AM)

The only good advice I have really, is this

1.Talk to her like she is a person.
2.Be polite. 
3.Don't assume anything.
4. DON'T script anything ever. We do NOT want a 35 page missive on what you think a perfect scene is, in your first email.
5. Address her by her Screen name.



PeonForHer -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/16/2009 3:51:46 AM)

Yes, I think ordinary good manners.  This shows you can control your kinks and talk to her as a balanced, decent man, at first. 



stella41b -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/16/2009 4:27:16 AM)

To me it's down to three things (1) manners and basic courtesy (2) effective communication and (3) personal integrity.

A Mistress isn't a Mistress until that time when she introduces herself to you as such or directs you to address her as such, otherwise she is a woman, a person, a human. She needs acceptance and understanding very much in the same way you do as well as being considerate of her and her needs, wants, etc. This goes into effective communication, listening, reading, taking in things about her, being receptive to what she thinks and how she feels, giving her ample opportunity to express herself and also you being honest, open and sincere, meaning what you say and saying what you mean. This comes into having a word, and you do indeed have a word, and an important part of this is keeping your word.

With all that, and with the right lady, it is, as they say Bob's your uncle.



PeonForHer -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/16/2009 5:36:34 AM)

Also, don't start a message with things like "Hey Baby".  Words like "baby" and "girl" are dimunitives, and I've found that dommiekins tend not to like them.



Politesub53 -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/16/2009 5:58:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Words like "baby" and "girl" are dimunitives, and I've found that dommiekins tend not to like them.


What if they`re not very tall. [8D]



YoursMistress -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/16/2009 6:25:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Oh gosh, some guy wrote me and said, "What's good?"   I had to ask one of my friends what he even MEANT. 


Miss LH, Now I'm dying to know what's good! [:D]

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

A tasteful full length shot is required.   For fucks sake, NO COCK SHOTS (unless you are told to of course).



Miss BSB, That is one of my favorite expressions/exclamations!  Sadly, I can no longer use it in the work place except under the most dire of situations for fear of an appearance of harassment.  Thank you!  [:D]

yours



LovingMistress45 -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/16/2009 6:53:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

The only good advice I have really, is this

1.Talk to her like she is a person.
2.Be polite. 
3.Don't assume anything.
4. DON'T script anything ever. We do NOT want a 35 page missive on what you think a perfect scene is, in your first email.
5. Address her by her Screen name.



I concure the only thing I would add to #5 is unless her profile states a specific form of address.



GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: Basic Mistress Etiquette (5/16/2009 7:13:15 AM)

She is not your Mistress........this is a man and woman talking...

so  you could begin with a nice 
**"Good morning..may  I speak with you?"
and what ever she has asked for in her profile..
experience?..how you would enhance her life..?

then

"How shall I address you?"

** a nice smiling regular pic is nice..( no dics or shirtless etc)PLS!!!!!!!!!!
*"Do you have time to talk today?"

POLITE = POLITE  and that goes both ways
 
GQ



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