Confused

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littleone35 -> Confused (2/6/2006 12:24:15 PM)
I recently (last month) went into NYC (i live on Long island) to meet a Dom i had ben talking to for 2 months. We met and we really seemed to hit it off he paid for my lunch and we talked and talked after i talked to him on line more for another week or so then nothing. I did not play with him now do you think i was played or maybe he has puter trouble or is very busy? littleone

yourMissTress -> RE: Confused (2/6/2006 12:36:07 PM)
Often times the chemistry just isn't there when you meet someone face to face. The point of meeting someone is to see if that chemistry exists. It sounds to me like you met someone and at least one of you didn't find there was anything to persue. If you are going to continue to meet people from the 'net, I would suggest that you understand that they aren't all going to develop into LTRs. You stated that you only met for a meal, he paid for it, and there was no playing. Afterwards you continued to talk but now there's no communication. I wonder why you ask this question... quote: do you think i was played

littleone35 -> RE: Confused (2/6/2006 12:38:40 PM)
i guess that was a poor chouce of words.

Firmmaster4u -> RE: Confused (2/6/2006 2:13:52 PM)
i think he was playin g with you and if was for real you would know by now its his lost for sure as soon as he met you he would know your were the one ml

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Confused (2/6/2006 2:28:15 PM)
It's a very typical story. He may or may not have been playing with you, but he's obviously decided he can't be involved with you and unfortunately doesn't have the courage to just be honest and up front about it. Which makes it easy for you to realize what a dork he is and that you don't want to be involved with him either.

littleone35 -> RE: Confused (2/6/2006 3:11:04 PM)
Thanks firm Master and LA he just seemed like such a nice guy i guess one can never tell. littleone

RavenMuse -> RE: Confused (2/6/2006 3:31:50 PM)
I've met a couple of people off the web (Not D/s related though, so far) whom I got on really well with online but descovered very soon after starting to talk to them in real life that either there simply was no spark, or worse I found I didn't actualy like the person who presented themself so much better online. At least I told them, in my case toward the end of the meeting when the subject of further meetings came up (Ie I brought it up to point out it wasn't going to happen) Looks like the same thing maybe happened there, except he didn't have the guts to tell you.

mysecret40 -> RE: Confused (2/7/2006 8:36:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleone35 I recently (last month) went into NYC (i live on Long island) to meet a Dom i had ben talking to for 2 months. We met and we really seemed to hit it off he paid for my lunch and we talked and talked after i talked to him on line more for another week or so then nothing. I did not play with him now do you think i was played or maybe he has puter trouble or is very busy? littleone Little one: This is so typical. It is as others have said,....meeting off the net....and then in person can change everything. If the spark or chemistry isn't there....then hey....better to know right off the bat, right? It is even worse believe me...when you get involved with someone, and then things start to unravel.....like they are big liars...or are literally f**ked up in the head. And hey at least your getting out there~! Maybe try some clubs like I plan on doing....or munches? real time people. There are so many powers of deception out there....just be careful....even the nice ones can have their "secrets". secret

Gauge -> RE: Confused (2/7/2006 10:46:53 PM)
quote: I recently (last month) went into NYC (i live on Long island) to meet a Dom i had ben talking to for 2 months. We met and we really seemed to hit it off he paid for my lunch and we talked and talked after i talked to him on line more for another week or so then nothing. I did not play with him now do you think i was played or maybe he has puter trouble or is very busy? You know, a family situation could have come up or computer issues etc. I tend to agree that it is a shame if there wasn't chemistry there that he couldn't step up and say something. I do, however, think that this bashing of this guy from everyone is a little out of line. No one was there... no one knows what happened but the guy is the asshole. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I do not mean to diminish your question with my comments... it is just an expression of frustration on my part. I wish you all the best.

DragonNphoenix -> RE: Confused (2/7/2006 10:47:31 PM)
Okay... I have been through this myself. It really does suck. I have met several people online that I thought were just 'wonderful' until I met them in person. To me it seems that the problem here is that your person just lacks the fortitude to tell you himself what the issue is. I hope that the next one you meet has more of a backbone. 1st Girl Phoenix

littleone35 -> RE: Confused (2/8/2006 10:38:39 AM)
Thank you to all for you responses. littleone

windchymes -> RE: Confused (2/8/2006 4:27:41 PM)
Hey, a free lunch is always a good thing![;)] Hang in there.

MistressOfGa -> RE: Confused (2/8/2006 6:35:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross It's a very typical story. He may or may not have been playing with you, but he's obviously decided he can't be involved with you and unfortunately doesn't have the courage to just be honest and up front about it. Which makes it easy for you to realize what a dork he is and that you don't want to be involved with him either. I dont agree with this. I dont think it is obvious at all that he cant be involved with her, or that he is not interested. Just possibly busy with work or family. There is always that chance that he is indeed having computer problems or family issues. She didnt mention how long it has been since he contacted her, it could be only a week. If they hit it off so famously and had a great time, then had another week of conversations, why is there a reason to believe that he is not interested, based on his not contacting her? There could be many reasons he hasnt. ONE of which could be disinterest. Littleone-How long has it been since he contacted you?

MHOO314 -> RE: Confused (2/8/2006 6:52:02 PM)
I agree with MistressGa----things happen, at times serious things, just because we are in the life does not prevent that--

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Confused (2/8/2006 9:04:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa I dont agree with this. I dont think it is obvious at all that he cant be involved with her, or that he is not interested. Just possibly busy with work or family. There is always that chance that he is indeed having computer problems or family issues. She didnt mention how long it has been since he contacted her, it could be only a week. If they hit it off so famously and had a great time, then had another week of conversations, why is there a reason to believe that he is not interested, based on his not contacting her? There could be many reasons he hasnt. ONE of which could be disinterest. Littleone-How long has it been since he contacted you? Because when someone is interested in you- they make the time for it. It's really that simple. I'm not saying he doesn't think about her in random moments, but he's obviously not interested enough to the point of maintaining even a basic communication.

MistressOfGa -> RE: Confused (2/8/2006 9:26:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa I dont agree with this. I dont think it is obvious at all that he cant be involved with her, or that he is not interested. Just possibly busy with work or family. There is always that chance that he is indeed having computer problems or family issues. She didnt mention how long it has been since he contacted her, it could be only a week. If they hit it off so famously and had a great time, then had another week of conversations, why is there a reason to believe that he is not interested, based on his not contacting her? There could be many reasons he hasnt. ONE of which could be disinterest. Littleone-How long has it been since he contacted you? Because when someone is interested in you- they make the time for it. It's really that simple. I'm not saying he doesn't think about her in random moments, but he's obviously not interested enough to the point of maintaining even a basic communication. THINGS happen. Life happens. Maybe, and I am not saying it has, but MAYBE he has had a medical emergency. Why must it always be a negitive answer? Why cant the benefit of the doubt be given, just once? It isnt always that simple.

Sensualips -> RE: Confused (2/8/2006 9:58:30 PM)
So maybe what? She should sit around hopefully and wait for him to come out of the coma so he can tell her it was only her memory that kept him from moving into the white light? Sure, it is possible. But it is not probable. He is so busy with his sick aunt and killer job and computer virus and his neice's birthday he could not take three minutes to dash off a few sentences? The likely answer is he is not that into her. Maybe likes her, enjoyed the time, but she is not a priority. Doesn't make him a bad guy. It just means she should move on and not obsess. And in the event there was a life issue, she will be pleasantly suprised when he contacts her to explain. It is confusing when the spark seemed to exist. She could email and make some effort. And then just consider it a sucky thing, spend a bit of time mourning (for me, I do this with chocolate) and then focus elsewhere.

ayasha -> RE: Confused (2/9/2006 1:21:42 AM)
This one would want to give Him the benefit of the doubt for a time - in case something did come up. But after a week or two of not hearing from Him, that tends to speak for itself. Did He want to play? If so, that is a red flag. If He didn't want to play but just meet and have lunch, there should be no issue with not playing. And you know what? you can always message Him and see if He responds. one wishes you the best, ~ ayasha ~

RavenMuse -> RE: Confused (2/9/2006 2:52:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Because when someone is interested in you- they make the time for it. It's really that simple. THINGS happen. Life happens. Maybe, and I am not saying it has, but MAYBE he has had a medical emergency. Why must it always be a negitive answer? Why cant the benefit of the doubt be given, just once? It isnt always that simple. I'm with LA on this one, it doesn't take a couple of minutes to drop someone a quick note, text or call to explain that something has come up unexpectedly and that you'll be back in touch as soon as you can. If there is any spark at all then you make time for those few minutes because the person just might be worth at least that little bit of consideration.

sweetpettjenny -> RE: Confused (2/9/2006 3:23:23 AM)
sometimes things don't click...He should have just been honest about it. Don't get discouraged, as i met My owner through Cm , it does work.

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