BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with?

BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (Full Version)

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chronos1976 -> BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/16/2009 3:12:05 PM)
It could almost be a challenge... I'm wondering if anyone here has performed a BDSM scene in vanilla public, however discretely, and got away with it? How far would were you willing to push things? Would you attempt such a scene and what would you try and get away with? If no-one in the vanilla public is aware of anything going on, are such scenes acceptable? Here is such a scene as described to me recently: "My goal was to cage my sub in vanilla public. So we went into a pet store where we started talking to an assistant about our fictitious dog who had been rushed to the vets ill. We needed a cage to bring him home. The problem was that we weren't exactly sure which cage would be the right size. We talked to the young female assistant and eventually brought up the fact that our "dog" was about the same size as my kneeling sub. "How about I get the cage off the shelf and you can kneel next to it for size?" asked the assistant. Fine, but there was obviously not enough room to do this. "I could get in" suggested my sub. "Ok, if you don't mind" replied the assistant and bingo, goal achieved. One caged female in the middle of a pet store. We bought the cage as a memento, the assistant was happy with the sale and wished our dog the best of health, no one was any the wiser for our game and we went on to more complicated scenarios."

Musicmystery -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/16/2009 3:25:02 PM)
quote: I'm wondering if anyone here has performed a BDSM scene in vanilla public, however discretely, and got away with it? Of course. I would guess several people.

Kat713 -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/16/2009 3:27:22 PM)
Oh man, that seems like so much fun. Well, my story isn't as kinky, but I have been lead on a collar in public before. The stares people give are delicious! Although I do not have much experience at all, I have to say that... I think public humiliation might be one of my things lol. What say the rest of you?

lovingpet -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/16/2009 4:43:31 PM)
That sounds like such a blast! I had a first meeting with a male submissive who decided he was going to show up for lunch with an electric dog collar wrapped around his cock and balls. He told me what he had done before we entered the restaurant and handed me the remote. After we were seated I tested to out to see if he was bluffing, and surely enough he jumped about a mile in the air. I amused myself the rest of the meal sliding my finger over the button and starting to place the slightest pressure on it. He watched my every move anticipating that delicious shock. I, on the other hand, was quite savoring crushing his kinky little fantasy that he had thrust upon me. He asked me why I never hit the button again. I asked him what the most torturous thing is that I could do to a little painslut like him. He finally got it and left very intrigued. It wasn't his most brilliant move to try to initiate play on the first meeting in a public venue, but I did have a lot of fun with it nonetheless. lovingpet

PrincessDonna -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/16/2009 5:53:14 PM)
I have used unisex bathrooms for golden showers and enemas

slaveluci -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/16/2009 6:34:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chronos1976 I'm wondering if anyone here has performed a BDSM scene in vanilla public, however discretely, and got away with it? We "perform" D/s in public everywhere we go. He's dominant, I'm submissive and we don't turn it off in "vanilla public." But then, it's not an act or a scene to us but life as we live it and it isn't necessarily evidenced by kinky displays or actions. We "get away with it" all day everyday[;)] luci

DomImus -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/16/2009 7:33:32 PM)
Nothing I enjoy could be done in public and toning things down so they could be flown under the radar doesn't interest me. I respect everyone's consent - especially that of the non participants around me.

breatheasone -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/16/2009 7:41:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DomImus Nothing I enjoy could be done in public and toning things down so they could be flown under the radar doesn't interest me. I respect everyone's consent - especially that of the non participants around me. See, this is a VERY large part of why i am very hesitant to do too much in public. i believe its a mistake to assume anyone & everyone is interested in seeing a show.

lovingpet -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/16/2009 7:45:57 PM)
What I do is just part of the over all picture and usually does not appear at all out of the ordinary. It is the meaning attached to things within the couple that makes it what it is for me. I don't need to put on a show to those who would rather not be a witness to my kink. All I need to do is make it clear with everything and in every way that I belong to my partner in the most honest way I am able. lovingpet

breatheasone -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/16/2009 8:52:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovingpet What I do is just part of the over all picture and usually does not appear at all out of the ordinary. It is the meaning attached to things within the couple that makes it what it is for me. I don't need to put on a show to those who would rather not be a witness to my kink. All I need to do is make it clear with everything and in every way that I belong to my partner in the most honest way I am able. lovingpet i like what you said here....and Daddy and i are like this... For instance when We are at the store, if i lag behind, maybe to look at something, Daddy will snap His fingers and point next to Him.... Thats my sign to doubletime it up there![:)]

lovingpet -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/16/2009 9:04:23 PM)
Simple things mean a lot, don't they? lovingpet

breatheasone -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/16/2009 9:14:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovingpet Simple things mean a lot, don't they? lovingpet Indeed they do... OMG lovingpet! That would be SUCH a cool thread....i'm sure its been done, but a "What are the simple things that make you smile about your "D" type" thread.....(being on the "s" type side of the kneel this would be what i would ask[:)])

CollaredLisa -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/17/2009 2:41:38 AM)
Hmm... we haven't really done anything big in public, but we get away with a lot of little thing - when we are holding hands he hurts me a little with his nails, he disguises pulling my hair as a kiss or hug.... sometimes he holds at least one of my wrists. No one ever notices, but we are having fun ^^

Fitznicely -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/17/2009 4:23:07 AM)
I'm on the "everyday" side of the fence, not that it doesn't delight me still to see the surreptitious stares at the collar, or double takes when I order for her...and the cheeky look in her eyes when she thinks she's got away with something cos we're in public, only to get a pinched ear or ass for her trouble. I've not leashed her in public yet, but as it's a turian collar, there's no real need, I just grab the sucker. It's kinda interesting to see people's sly reactions when I'm ordering her around in public. I guess there's a few shoppers around who are convinced I'm the biggest misogynist they've ever seen...

thishereboi -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/17/2009 6:58:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna I have used unisex bathrooms for golden showers and enemas I hope you cleaned up after yourselves.

agirl -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/17/2009 8:24:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Fitznicely It's kinda interesting to see people's sly reactions when I'm ordering her around in public. I guess there's a few shoppers around who are convinced I'm the biggest misogynist they've ever seen. Ditto. When M pays for something and walks off, leaving me with the bags, he often gets a bit of a scowl from the till-woman. We've often left women tutting and men wondering how he gets away with it AND has a smily, happy girl trotting along behind him.....lol. agirl

camille65 -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/17/2009 9:10:34 AM)
Pushing the envelope in public was only something that interested me when I was very young, before I realized that shocked looks from others weren't what I was after. I am much more comfortable not getting attention from strangers, especially when it comes to sexual matters. I've very little of the exibitionist (sp) in me this late in the game. Hmmm. I've very little ability for spelling as well it seems.

ZenDragoness -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/17/2009 9:20:22 AM)
I am so with you breathasone.:-) Because i grew up with a very public living family due to their jobs and had all my childhood and youth the feeling of being in an ongoing opera, drama, freak show, whenever i left the house with somebody from my family, i became a very, very, very private person.

StrangerThan -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/17/2009 9:40:09 AM)
I'm not sure the right question is how much you can get away with. If it is, then there's a point where you can't get away with it and I see nothing domly or life-stylish about explaining to the police why your submissive is doing whatever it is he or she is doing while you're being handcuffed and led off to a waiting car. I see nothing domly about offending the family three booths down or making them cover the eyes of ums while you do your thing. I see nothing specifically life-stylish about exposing others to your chosen path and expecting them to accept whatever it is you're doing just because it is your path. In the realm of consensual things, pushing the envelope of what you can and can't do in public seems to be accepting the fact that you'll involve people without consent. I don't see that as greatly different than those who like to go round banning things. Same frame of mind, just a different bend on it because neither really cares about what others think or feel. There are obviously public settings where you can get away with a lot more than other places, obviously settings where you can be surreptitious about what you do, obviously things you can do in public that maintain the dom/sub connection between you without involving or offending others. The caging setup you described doesn't approach the "get away with" scenario though. It was more of a plausible misdirection where the two involved tweaked their kink with the third party being none the wiser. I think the better question is where did you go do your public thing and what was the result. Grin. Semi-public things can be pretty damned hot. Involving a bunch of folks who want nothing to do with it though just doesn't flip my switch.

MsDDom -> RE: BDSM in vanilla public - how much can you get away with? (5/17/2009 10:51:20 AM)
quote: My goal was to cage my sub in vanilla public. wow at that scenario...I will have to put that in my notepad of ideas!

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