acknowledgment of sub-frenzy

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PainPup2 -> acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/18/2009 7:02:43 AM)
Greetings to All: i have a couple of questions to All Dommes out there. Is there Any Dommes Who have heard of the term sub-frenzy,and its meaning .And do You think that it is just BS or online fluff . What is Your thoughts about this.Thanks to All who reply back.

ShaktiSama -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/18/2009 7:50:25 AM)
I think most of us have heard of it, and a few of us have seen it. I do not think it's "on-line bs", although obviously it motivates some of the mistakes that people make on-line. There's no one meaning of the word that fits all cases. In general, I use it to describe a state of need or longing to submit and/or experience masochistic play that becomes so intense that the person starts to become careless of other more important things--like their own emotional and physical safety or the normal standards for choosing a partner. My understanding is that submissives in a frenzy state tend to make bad choices which they later regret, in order to get the "fix" of being dominated. There's a thin analogy with some addicts who are in withdrawal, except that the worst sufferers of subfrenzy are often not those who have tried bdsm and understand their own needs--they are submissives who have been waiting and wanting to submit and play all their lives without having had the chance. I can definitely see how such a need would build up over time, and we see posts every day on this forum from men whose lives are basically falling apart because of unmet submissive/masochistic needs.

Andalusite -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/18/2009 8:07:05 AM)
I think people do the same thing in person, it just doesn't get that label as frequently, and Dominants and vanilla people can do things that are just as stupid out of desperation.

LadyPact -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/18/2009 8:16:16 AM)
Shatki just saved Me a lot of key strokes. I tend to see it come up more often in those who have limited exposure to play/service, rather than those who have none at all. Very much like cravings because a person has had a taste of what fulfills them and they want more. Two things that I want to mention here. Frenzy is not limited to bottoms and subs alone. It happens on the other side of the kneel as well. The other is that frenzy is not an excuse for making those bad decisions mentioned.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/18/2009 9:14:39 AM)
I see it in the experienced as well. There are people who HAVE to be in a "relationship" or wearing a collar, and they race to the next person and latch on like they've never been flogged before. Is it an endorphin thing, an insecurity thing, some combination? Not sure, but the fallout is not pretty.

MistressDolly -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/18/2009 10:00:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PainPup2 Greetings to All: i have a couple of questions to All Dommes out there. Is there Any Dommes Who have heard of the term sub-frenzy,and its meaning .And do You think that it is just BS or online fluff . What is Your thoughts about this.Thanks to All who reply back. Sub-frenzy: Exuberant reactions prematurely acted upon. I've seen examples of this on-line sub type frenzy with a few financial domination fetishists.

LadyPact -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/18/2009 10:18:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus I see it in the experienced as well. There are people who HAVE to be in a "relationship" or wearing a collar, and they race to the next person and latch on like they've never been flogged before. Is it an endorphin thing, an insecurity thing, some combination? Not sure, but the fallout is not pretty. I'd agree with this. Kind of sad, really. In My personal opinion to answer your question is a combination of both. Certain folks just want to be owned so badly that it brings on insecurity issues when they aren't. It starts that vicious cycle of lack of security, leads to lack of self esteem, leads to being less appealing, leads to less likely to be owned. It just spirals from there. Now, I can't blame anyone for wanting a good endorphin rush. (Who doesn't?) When it becomes a person's whole drive, it starts looking so much like do-me syndrome that it becomes harder to obtain. Again, another cycle. Wanting it so bad that it's less likely to happen, leads to just wanting it all the more.

Lockit -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/18/2009 10:26:39 AM)
I used to have something on my profile or in the journal about the hunger to submit or to be done...lol I got a lot of response to it with men relating to what I said. I will have to go and look for it. I think it was in my actual profile. I see it in person as well, but not as much since I'm not into public events for a number of reasons. I may get to some here in the not too distant future... but for the moment am stuck at home. While I have compassion for the hunger and have tried to understand and such, I have found that one who is hungry will try to be fed and will often try to work things out much faster. In fact...lol... because I won't move so fast, many give up with me because it just doesn't work. It can save me some hassle. lol I do wonder... PainPup... you aren't sure if sub frenzy is real or not and I wonder if someone has said something about this to you. What brings this up?

sweetsub1957 -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/18/2009 7:46:27 PM)
i'm not a Domme, but i definitely agree with what ShaktiSama said. Sounds like the sub frenzy i had after i had my first experience. i found out what i'd been missing for my first 50 years, and there was no excuse for the stupidity i displayed. It was not just online either, it was real-time too, and could've been very dangerous...i was just very lucky. Thank Goddess that's over with....i was totally humiliated when i looked back on my previous conduct & i instantly snapped out of it after about three days of totally beating myself up over it. sub-frenzy is very real...mine lasted almost three months.

penitentialarts -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/18/2009 8:40:26 PM)
Real world sub-frenzy is a very real phenomenon, and can be pretty scary to watch. As others have said, you see it sometimes in dominants, too, and occasionally in experienced folks, as well. I have seen some subs who are new to the real-world scene do some amazingly dangerous things, even when they are surrounded by more experienced people who are trying to reign them in. - Jesse

slavekal -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/18/2009 9:53:26 PM)
Many of us have fallen victim to the frenzy. I know I have.

AlexandraLynch -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/18/2009 11:03:06 PM)
Well, it's not just d/s that it happens in. I think we all know people who can't handle not being "with" someone. My brother has this problem. Married three times, and has never spent more than two weeks, I think, without a girlfriend in between those times. I keep telling him each time a relationship blows up that he needs to step back and be celibate for six months and figure out what keeps going wrong, but so far he keeps going and doing the same thing over again. (sigh) But does it happen? Absolutely it does, and yes, on both sides of the kneel.

kestel -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/19/2009 11:46:22 AM)
Shakti is dead on. Sub-frenzy is very real. "Sub-frenzy" is more than just very deep sub space. The later can be enjoyed while reamaining in control enough to avoid overly destrcutive behaviors. In my experience, "online" sub-frenzy is typically the result of self imposed chastity or simply not having had a release for several days, and an over abundance of time spent online at Femdom sites and chatting with Dommes. A very very real manisfestation of sub-frenzy is the loss of money and or personal information to an accomlished "financial domme." Of course the sub must have proclivities toward financial domination (i.e, leanings towards being a "pay pig") but if he does, look out. I think the more accomplished fin Dommes have a very keen eye for subs in a sub frenzy and some of them are quite adept at pushing the sub to that point. Indeed their sites, clips4sale , youtube vids etc are structured to create sub frenzy and/or lure those in that are already in a sub frenzy.

slaveluci -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/19/2009 6:15:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus I see it in the experienced as well. There are people who HAVE to be in a "relationship" or wearing a collar, and they race to the next person and latch on like they've never been flogged before. Is it an endorphin thing, an insecurity thing, some combination? Not sure, but the fallout is not pretty. I detest the term "sub frenzy." The actions listed above happen to all kinds of people in all kinds of situations and circumstances, not just "BDSM" folks. I've seen people throughout my entire life that "have to" have a partner no matter how sorry that partner may be. If they aren't part of a couple, they feel worthless. I say it has less than nothing to do with BDSM or kink. It happens all over the "vanilla" world. It's trouble wherever you find it and I refuse to say it's a "sub" thing, let alone a "frenzy." It's really just ignorance and desperation...............luci

ShaktiSama -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/19/2009 7:51:04 PM)
Honestly, I don't use the word "subfrenzy" to describe simple thirst for love, being horny or plain loneliness. These exist too, by all means, and people who feel as if they don't exist or aren't whole without a partner can be found anywhere. But from what I have seen, a person can fall into subfrenzy even if they DO have a marital partner and they are loved; it's about bdsm, not just loneliness or sexual validation in general. Subfrenzy is when you're half out of your mind out of need for submission or pain. Sometimes that means you'll convince yourself you're "in love", sure--sometimes it'll make you forget that love is even something that you care about. I have seen a few mild cases of "domfrenzy" too, essentially in cases where a dominant gets increasingly irritable, distracted and unable to concentrate until his or her bdsm needs are met. I haven't seen any dominants who have gone as far as some of the submissives I've seen, but that may well be a matter of random chance. And there is also one vanilla analog I have seen in the non-bdsm world, and that is the addictive behavior that you sometimes see in gentleman's clubs, where men become "regulars" to one or more dancers. They continually come in, night after night, to throw cash at these women. That addiction can get every bit as ugly as gambling in terms of how it economically and socially destroys the victim.

MsStarlett -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/20/2009 4:52:18 AM)
While I had never heard the term "Sub Frenzy", I do believe that describes one sub that I met along the way. He was a nice enough guy, just way to eager and our kinks didn't match up. I was looking for a pain slut to 'test bottom' for a Domme friend who was very new. I thought I had lucked into one close by as his profile read "No limits, No safe words" and he was willing to drop everything to run up and meet with two Dommes. Poor dear. He didn't seem to realize what he was getting into and didn't enjoy pain at all. He was not the right candidate for testing out techniques and demonstrating toys. Yet in his overwhelming desire to please and serve, he started declaring his love and devotion to both of us and calling us at inappropriate times. I would have enjoyed spending more time with him, but it just wasn't working.

MzticStormz -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/20/2009 11:09:45 AM)
I have seen it in new submissives as well as those that are experienced. I don't deal with online Domination so I can not speak for that - only for real time. I am surprised that no one has posted this link to an article that was written many years ago. http://www.steel-door.com/Frenzies.html I do feel that sub-frenzy can lead to many mistakes made on a submissive's part and in general when I have met with a subs there have been many times when I had to decide if their actions were due to frenzy at some level and would calm with time, security, and training, or if it was his general nature and approach to life. Mz Stormz edited to change link to the orginal source.

PainPup2 -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/21/2009 4:44:25 PM)
i would like to thank E/everyone that expressed T/their opinion on the sub-frenzy subject .i do agree with most of what was said . To my good friend Lockit, yes i went through sub-frenzy when i was just starting out in the lifestyle and i said and did a lot of stupid on/off line things that cost me several good lifestyle friends for that i'am very remorseful, but i can not take it back now . i can only ask for forgiveness and move on .As to the reason i posted this thread to begin with was because i have a Domme friend who never heard of sub-frenzy and She laughed at me when i asked Her about it then forwarded my question to all Her Dom/Domme friends and thay all laughed at my question as well. She claims its just more BS and online fluff. She does not recognise this "New Wave" BDSM as She calls it. She also stated that none of Her friends heard or recognise Sub-frenzy either, and that any slaves that suffer from this is not mentally stable enough to be a slave. And By the way She does not recognise the difference between a sub and a slave . Your either a slave or your a slave period, if you submit then your a slave. Open for any thoughts on that subject...thanks to A/all

Lockit -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/21/2009 6:05:20 PM)
God... gotta love the old timer folks who have all the answers! Pup... promise me to balance out things they say with other's not in the lil group. How can a human emotion or reaction be strictly an online thing? There are needy, hungry, excited, happy, mad and on and on... people all over the place and some of them happen to be online. The thing is... I bet these people are big on the proper lowly position of those slave/submissive's that have no difference whatsoever. Submission is submission... with different degree's and wants and needs. Same as with dominance. People are different and anyone who could say the things they have said, know nothing of the psychology of the human being.

ShaktiSama -> RE: acknowledgment of sub-frenzy (5/22/2009 9:23:53 AM)
Yeah, I am not going to get into criticizing other dominants that I have never even met, but that "New Wave" comment strikes me as odd. Women who claim "Old Guard" identity are rare and they have to be over 60 for the claim to be really credible. If this woman is actually part of a community of experienced dominants, I find it hard to believe that none of them know what subfrenzy is and none of them have ever seen it. Judging someone "mentally unstable" because they have experienced it seems pretty self-defeating, as well.

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