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OttersSwim -> The Crossdress Fantasy (Reality Check) (5/18/2009 8:22:13 AM)
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We get a lot of CD/TS fantasy posts on this forum. We all know the story and the - "do me", "unrealistic", "The Wheel of Dommely Delights", and the "Ugh! The work that would take!" - reactions we all tend to have.
So this is another in Otter's ongoing series of "Postive Posts" about my experience as a femme boy in service to a dominant Lady. Not trying to change anyone's preference on CD/TS/TG subs, but I do want to post my experiences so that the dominant Ladies here have a point of positive reference, and so some of the boys "of -my- kind" might read and enjoy or learn from my experience...
Being girly is beyond fun...
So my Lady and I have been together now for nearly 10 months. In that time, I have become immensely more comfortable with my girly side...so much so that it is worth noting that I am experiencing a significant drop in that "need" to crossdress, and the sensation of "starvation" that so many of the people like me have reported feeling. It is becoming just part of the day-to-day existance as a submissive male. I have a growing wardrobe of girly clothing, my toes are always painted, I wear girl underwear most days, both my ears are pierced...and I have grown my hair out to my shoulders, and shave my body below the eyebrows...many times, I have worn eyeliner and brown mascara out of doors - just enough to make my eyes stand out a bit, but not enough so that anyone particularly notices...I have been out dressed in public twice now and have a growing circle of kinky T-girl friends.
Most days, I am smooth, and soft...but I am still strong. [:)]
My Lady is incredibly accepting of my girl side, and encourages me. We have spa nights where we paint nails and take baths and pluck eyebrows and do girly things. I am incredibly fortunate to have someone who loves my kink and is someone in whom I have so many things to love other than just her accepting my kink....she is amazing...[;)]
And my life has become amazing...so much of this wonderful girl stuff is becoming integrated into -who I am- and helping to make me a balanced and healthy person who is comfortable in their skin.
But all this girly stuff...is just part of what being a part of a D/s couple is all about...there is also -service-...
This morning, we got up at 5:45...while my Lady showered, I ironed her uniform for work (she is in healthcare), prepared her morning tea, then combed out her hair. While she dressed, I laid out her things, cooked her an egg, prepared her a lunch, and saw her off to work.
Today also I will do some laundry, clean the kitchen, take the dogs out, water gardens, pick up things at the store, and prepare dinner (it's my day off, YAYS!). I also have my own home, and a wife to attend to, and so I will spend part of my day there as well. [;)]
So much of all this is vanilla living and maintaining your life and the lives of those you love...
This morning I wore a pair of pink panties, and a short mid-thigh satin robe...I mention that because I did not think once about my attire this morning...I chose it, dressed myself in it...it is becoming just part of who I am and it feels "right" to me. I wasn't "forced"...I chose this life.
And what about -Play-? Does she force you to dress all girly and stuff? Huh?!
No. I dress myself and have a growing appreciation for what is "appropriate" to wear and when.
For instance, I now -understand on a cellular level- that four inch heels worn with feet apart while you are strapped onto a cross will hurt you more than almost anything your Lady will do to you....fucking ouch...
When we play, she will sometimes encourage me to dress, other times will let me decide. What I am wearing has little to do with how we play. In fact, the clothing can be a barrier to it all (see above...fucking ouch!).
Besides, it is not about me and my pretty clothes...our play is about sensation, and edges, and connection....
It's a relationship...
Yep...all the pretty clothes...all the fantasies - and yes, I have them too - come down to this one simple fact.
No matter what, unless you are visiting a pro, you are gonna be in a relationship..with a real girl. And a dominant girl at that...it's not about us...She passed through by age 15 most of what we girly-boys feel today at age 45.
I really worked hard with multiple counselors to put all this girly stuff into some perspective so it did not overwhelm the other aspects of my life well before I came to kink and I am profoundly glad I did. Not saying I have it all right and down, but it is not blowing the top of my head off and that was a key factor - not only in my Lady's ability to perceive and accept my girl side, but in my ability to see that it is NOT about my pretty pretty princess fantasies, but about a real realtionship with D/s at its core.
So nine months on...
I have not once been "forced" to dress in anything...I have not served as a sissy maid...I have not been paraded or humiliated...not fucked up the ass with my poofy skirt pushed up over my head...have never been to a beauty salon for any "forced" beauty treatments...and the CD fantasy list goes on and on...
I have been in a wonderful relationship with a Lady who loves me for who I am. Who lets me be my complete self...in service to Her...and that, is all that I need to be sensationally happy.
Thanks for reading all this. [:)]
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