Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (Full Version)

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ice0488 -> Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 2:06:15 AM)

I don't think I've met one mistress yet who is a domme because she truly enjoys it and that's the only reason. Everyone at some point or another has said they want a financial slave or they require tribute. And not just those listed as Pro either. Are there any authentic mistresses on here who just want to be the owner of a slave?



LadySweetOrSour -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 2:23:53 AM)

This subject comes up regularly in the threads. I don't know how many you've met, but while there are many who require tribute, there are hundreds and hundreds who don't. It isn't just a matter of finding a Mistress, there must be chemistry there too. No, not every woman on here is prepared to take whatever is going, just to have a slave.

Your profile pretty much says what you want (sadistic, sensual and a certain age), but not much about what you have to offer a prospective Mistress. Maybe being a little more up front about who you are as a person might help too. Few Mistresses are going to be interested in someone who hasn't given any information about who they are (apart from the obvious).

I do understand you in part though. This site (like most others) is full of so called submissives/slaves who go on and on about their sexual preferences, but who obviously don't have a clue about what D/s actually means. They think it just means kinky sex.

All I can say is keep trying and good luck.



CarrieO -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 2:31:37 AM)

Your profile states that while you'd like "real time", you would be willing to do "online w/cam" for someone between the ages of 18-30. Your profile also has nothing but kink in it. Not a single thing that gives any clue as to whether or not you have any life outside of kink.

In other words...very little for me, personally, to take serious.

Who are you? What do you have to offer any person outside of the kink you listed?

I've said it before and I'm going to keep saying it....your profile is much like an advertisment for a product, YOU. Look at how you advertise and then look at what you attract. If you're not happy with the responses, maybe you need to look at how you're advertising.



DesFIP -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 3:46:41 AM)

Your very minimal profile appears to be a pre written script that you want a mistress to play. The only ones who are going to be interested in doing that are those who get paid for it.

Portray yourself as a person, not as a collection of kinks. And then see if you can't connect, person to person.



FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 4:17:35 AM)

Are you completely ignoring their profile, and the fact that they are human beings, and just asking what they will be doing to you?     M



BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 5:19:57 AM)

Because I'm worth it...



CatdeMedici -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 5:33:01 AM)

Ok, guys, I am going to do this analogy one more time: obviously you don't fish----if you did you would know that fish need different bait----crap bait draws crap fish.
 
So if you are a do me do me do me, beat me, suck me, fuck me, then the fish you are going to get is a do you do you do you, beat you suck you and charge you. It's not rocket science.
 
You want quality fish, you need quality bait.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 5:40:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

You want quality fish, you need quality bait.

Uh, Cat?  Prodommes date, have relationships, nilla husbands even.  A woman is not suddenly low-quality, or suddenly deserving only of low-quality human contact, because she has BDSM clients.

I agree with the general spirit of your post.



CatdeMedici -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 5:44:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

You want quality fish, you need quality bait.

Uh, Cat?  Prodommes date, have relationships, nilla husbands even.  A woman is not suddenly low-quality, or suddenly deserving only of low-quality human contact, because she has BDSM clients.

I agree with the general spirit of your post.



I totally agree and did in no way intend to demean ProDommes, My point was, if you want different fish, use different bait and perhaps that's the way I should have written it now that I have had coffee. [8|]
 
I do not dis nor feel that Pros are not good upstanding citizens providing a needed service, if you want salmon and you are gettung tuna, change the bait. [8D]



BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 5:52:33 AM)

Somehow I'm not feeling the whole "high quality fish" analogy....

How about caviar??



GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 6:21:23 AM)

if you are being asked for money then
1) you may be attracting what you put out..that you wish to play ... your way ...for you what you want and nothing about serving..so you need a SERVICE provided

2)could be a "test"...I don't want money at all..bit I have asked.......why?
a reaction...usually the messager quickly reveals if they are just looking for kink..

3) have you changed your profile in the year you have been on to see if it changes
what occurs?? saying "SHE will be my everything while I am at her feet"...is vague..very vague..
HOW will you serve? enhance her life? what skill sets do you have? WHY do you wish to serve..Who are you as a man?What would entice a MISTRESS to want you as a sub?

4)HOW AND WHO do you approach? do you message saying" do you want to.........?"would you be interested in...................?" and then outline what you want DONE to you?
5) do you approach a certain look?
now I am going to get some flack for this one BUT do you approach the woman whose photos apppear to be from a fantasy or fem dom film..????then are surprised when they are a professional and this is thier business?
** no judgement here ...just wondering if the young man "shops" for the
beautiful DOM look of men's kink fantasy)


GQ



GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 6:23:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ice0488

I don't think I've met one mistress yet who is a domme because she truly enjoys it and that's the only reason.



many who are paid ENJOY it

GQ



dreamerdreaming -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 6:26:16 AM)

I'm guessing its because you are interacting mostly with pros, to begin with. Or scammers. Or both. If you don't want a pro, say so up front.

As others have said: if as seems to be the case, you are a selfish, "do-me" sub who is only out to get his fetishes indulged, be glad there are pros who will do so. If not then rework your profile to tell Dommes why we should be interested in you.

Fetish lists are to the left, in the profile. Use the text part to sell yourself. Why should anyone be interested in you? What's so great about you?



MarcEsadrian -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 7:43:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ice0488

I don't think I've met one mistress yet who is a domme because she truly enjoys it and that's the only reason. Everyone at some point or another has said they want a financial slave or they require tribute. And not just those listed as Pro either. Are there any authentic mistresses on here who just want to be the owner of a slave?


Of course there are Mistresses who want to own slaves, but as you allude, they are few and far between. Those who wish to be slaves in the most literal sense of the word are equally rare. As for monetary servitude, this comes naturally with the territory of being a slave. Money is an obvious proxy for one's time and labor, and seeing as how it is the mortar of material wealth, comfort and civil freedom, it only makes sense that it is demanded and given.

It is clear there is indeed a "business" mentality of a sort hiding behind pretty faces with whips, but this is a natural reaction to the barter and trade mentality so many males are afflicted with, in turn. In this sense, there is no wrong on either side of that coin. It's equally clear, however, there is predatory exploitation of male gullibility by women who secretly hold contempt for submissive males.

There are times when the pros and the predators seem the only sort that's out there, but it's a mistake to become so cynical. Women who wish to keep slaves—Women who do so out of desire to be served and uplifted by personal servants—do exist. Consider, if you will, how impoverished the pickings seem for them as well. Most would-be "slaves" tend to be little more than over glorified playboys in latex or mushy fantasists looking ultimately for romance. Somewhere between is the rarer breed not infected by romantic delusions, self-serving cynicism and negativity. Do these rarer types discriminate and place their time and efforts wisely? Most certainly. But you'll never hear them whining about money; they are happy to give it to a Woman they admire and serve—or hope to serve, one day.



CreativeDominant -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 7:52:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

Somehow I'm not feeling the whole "high quality fish" analogy....

How about caviar??
~Just......bites......tongue~



LaTigresse -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 8:10:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ice0488

I don't think I've met one mistress yet who is a domme because she truly enjoys it and that's the only reason. Everyone at some point or another has said they want a financial slave or they require tribute. And not just those listed as Pro either. Are there any authentic mistresses on here who just want to be the owner of a slave?


Ice, I've read your profile and your little whine here. Marc has addressed it all, better than I will. Which of course will not stop me from adding my two dollars worth anyway....

I am not interested in submissive males but I sure read plenty of posts like yours on here. And to be honest, I get contacted by an awful lot of people that call themselves submissives or slaves that are, in my opinion, bottoms. Not submissives or slaves.

I have nothing AT ALL against bottoms, whatever floats your boat. But do NOT come to ME, telling me that you want to serve me, submit to me, belong to me, then give me a list of kink activities you want me to do to YOU and assume I should be thrilled beyond belief to do them. Serving me is about serving ME. Not me serving YOU.

To be honest, most days, if someone like you.....male or female....contacted me with their shopping list, I would ask them how much money have they got. Because that is the best way to get rid of them. I don't want their money, (okay, if they've got a lot to toss about they can certainly send it to me), but if they want me to simply do stuff for them, they are going to have to have something to offer in return. If not the service I want, then something. What else is left? Moola baby, because with that, I can pay for the service I need. Sadly, I haven't the patience to even deal with those that would offer cash for my services. I doubt anyone exists, that has enough cash, to tempt me. My coffers remain dusty and I remain busy taking care of my own stuff.

I honestly wish that more people that self identify as submissives or slaves would seriously consider what that means, and perhaps realize that they are instead, kinky bottoms looking for some fun. And be honest about it. Then, perhaps, they would get the fun they want, and the dominant women that really do want an honest to god, slave or submissive, wouldn't have as much "bottom clutter" to weed through.

Yeah, I'm dreaming..........



MistressDolly -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 8:20:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ice0488

I don't think I've met one mistress yet who is a domme because she truly enjoys it and that's the only reason. Everyone at some point or another has said they want a financial slave or they require tribute. And not just those listed as Pro either. Are there any authentic mistresses on here who just want to be the owner of a slave?


Someone once said: I don't think I've met one master yet who is a dom because he truly enjoys it and that's the only reason. Everyone at some point or another has said they want a sex slave or they require blow jobs.



subtlebutterfly -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 8:28:48 AM)

I know..it's horrible aint it I need to pay LaT $30 for every post I reply to if she's already replied to that same post [8|] then it's $300 for every private message..it's makin me go bankrupt[8D]

but on more serious notes...dude quit whining get a grip n happy hunting!
Actually..I'm going to be stupid and may be moving onto a very thin ice here but.... I'm guessing that..if you come across as a nice genuine person the dominant won't necessarily make you pay. (I think pro dominants are a whole other dimension and it would be stupid if a pro dominant DIDN'T require a payment)



Andalusite -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 8:34:52 AM)

Isn't caviar high-quality fish that just hasn't had a chance to grow up? [;)]

Anyway, lots of women here, whether or not they are pros, are looking for relationships without charging for BDSM. Some are even looking for casual play without charging for it. If that's what you want, though, you can't be boring, you need to engage her as an individual person. If you read the profiles carefully, you should be able to filter out most of the pros and scammers before contacting them, and focus on the people who are offering what you want. We're not at fault just because you're too lazy to read!

Personally, while I enjoy dominating a man, or even topping him, and have never charged for it, I'm not particularly drawn to a slave serving me. I'm open to it, if he fits what *I* want and need in a relationship, but most men who self-identify as slave are rather high-maintenance, and need more micromanagement than I'm willing to provide. A lot of them also want far more control over my sexuality, emotions, and reactions than the dominant men I've spoken with here (I'm a switch, so I'm open to either possibility).



slavekal -> RE: Why do so many dommes want you to pay them? (5/19/2009 9:22:27 AM)

I don't mind a lady being a pro.  Only when they bait and switch on you, placing ads that seem lifestyle, then ask for money.



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