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MadameMarque -> RE: submisive = pussy wipped ? (5/31/2009 2:59:28 AM)
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(On Fast Reply)
If I thought you really wanted to know, and weren’t just trying to bait the dommes, I would say…
First, there are men who submit to men, willingly. And women who submit to men, women who submit to women…do you have a problem with any of that, and where their identity is going, or is it just a pussy-whipped man thing with which you have a problem?
Second, when you ask, ‘where’s the fairness, the trust, the mutual respect, the compromise’ you seem to think that people in more extreme or fulltime D/s relationships aren’t there willingly. They are longing for someone who understands them and wants them on those terms. If you were really interested in knowing what fuels their desire for that relationship, I’d suggest you go to the “Ask a Submissive” section of the forum. But it is difficult to explain passion. Some things don’t want to be explained, about us.
And third, for many of us, it’s all about trust and intimacy, largely because it’s not about “fairness” (in the conventional sense of the word) at all. The submissive and the dominant are trusting each other to understand and accept each other, each other’s drives and desires, in the context of a relationship that seems hostile and unfair and maybe abusive, to outsiders.
When I see someone talking about the dominant being fair, I think, they don’t get something that I would need them to get. What’s fair about me doing what I want to do, and you doing what I want to do? What’s fair about you being on a leash, or asking permission, or…you know.
I always say, what’s fair about it? Fair warning, maybe.
"If his love is to be called perverse, then let it be so, for maybe love is too great to be normal, too intense to be sane."
- from commentary on the film, Gekko no Sasayaki aka Moonlight Whispers, http://imdb.com/title/tt0208178/usercomments
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