RE: when or how soon???

RE: when or how soon??? (Full Version)

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windchymes -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 4:14:48 PM)
I throw in another vote for married/attached and the money it cost him was for the "shut up" jewelry, shoes and handbags he had to buy her the last time he got caught. If he doesn't trust you by now, how many hoops do you have to jump through before he does??? Came back to add.....to answer your original question, YOU can ask for personal information whenever YOU want, for YOUR own comfort and trust level. THEY can withhold info for as long as THEY want or hand it over when THEY feel comfortable. YOU have to decide what works for YOU and move on if it doesn't. For the record, many guys will hand over address, phone number, drivers license (don't laugh.....some guy flipped me his drivers license moments after being seated when meeting for the first time recently.....it was kind of cute, although he turned out to be creepy in other ways) to the woman early on to try to convey that he's someone who can be trusted and who isn't hiding anything so that she feels more comfortable.

LafayetteLady -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 4:16:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss Well depends on what "some time is" She never stated, but I do know there are some people who're single, no family no kids no nothing, and it's 7 months or more sommetimes a year more, because that's their mental quirk or hang up. course you can always choose not to stay with someone like that but there are people who're quirked like that and it does NOT mean they're cheating. Actually there is a big difference between not inviting someone to your home and not introducing them to your family/kids. It is grossly inappropriate to parade a bunch of dates passed your kids. But when you are involved with someone, you talk to them on the phone after they are in bed, and you know WHERE they live even if you don't go there. And those same kids will and are typically either visiting the other parent or shipped to grandma's for a weekend to give a break to the single parent at which point, going to their house isn't an issue even if just to pick them up. Also, while there are a large number of men who are custodial parents, it's still not all that common. So when a guy tells you he has his kids full time, I would suggest having a friendly conversation about the kids and see how much he answers. If he is there everyday, he is involved in car pools, sports, dance class, teacher conferences and will talk about the things they have to do with their kids.

marie2 -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 4:33:55 PM)
My opinion is that he is hiding something from you, or intends to use and dump you, and doesn't want you seeking revenge by telling his wife or blowing the whistle at his place of employment. I think when people can't trust someone they are intimately involved with, they most likely are the ones who aren't trustworthy themselves.

vinylchick42 -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 5:06:59 PM)
thank you so much everyone for your comments and opinions. i do agree, something is being hidden from me other than his children. which i would not want to meet untill we are a going down that commited relationship road. thanks again......

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 6:51:01 PM)
I refuse to speculate on the reasons why an individual would feel compelled to withhold personal information in an intimate relationship--suffice to say there are reasons, and some of them are perfectly valid, at least from a self-protective perspective. However, I would say that the time frame should be the time frame that you are comfortable with. If the individual you're involved with is unwilling to open up to you within a time frame that you can live with, then it is time to (1) decide what you will do if you don't have the information you need to be comfortable in the relationship, then (2) approach the individual in question and explain the information that you need to be comfortable, and the time frame in which you expect that information to be forthcoming. Then, if you don't get the information you require to feel safe and resolved in the relationship, follow through on your decisions from step (1). Dame Calla

tied4urpleasure -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 9:12:44 PM)
He's probably married..take from someone with experience. I was dating a man whom turned out to be My Master. He too was a single parent. We started a M/S relationship. He gave me his landline phone number, and work phone. called him every day. that was in sept 01 june of 02 he told me he got rid of his land line. it was cheaper to have a cell phone. So I could only call him at his job or on his cell phone Mon /friday no weekends. This man was single remind you, he would spend 1 weekend a month with me with his child.As of june 02 things changed. phone numbers him visiting,holiday spent alone. wasnt ever able to mail him ant cards or send him flowers. As of June 05' the truth came out. I stepped over the line and sent him a card havent heard from him for 4 weeks. that day I heard from his wife. He was married..He married a woman 1 month after he collared me. and kept it a secret. His wife left him, divorced him and he spent the next 3 yrs. resenting me for what I did. It was ok for him to lie to me from the get go, but shame on me for finding the truth out. My Master sucked the life out of me instead of setting me free..he would rather spend 3 yrs. resenting me, being cruel to me, he took my heart, soul, and spirit and crushed them to hell. January of 08' he released me for 1 month. I changed in that month. now he wants everything to be fantastic between us. Do I trust him NOT, revenge is best served cold. When the time comes I will walk away from my Master..I will release myself from him... THE MAN YOU ARE SEEING IS MARRIED..WALK AWAY BEFORE YOU GET HURT..BEFORE THE SHOULDA,WOULDA, COULDA, HAPPENS

LafayetteLady -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 9:49:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tied4urpleasure My Master sucked the life out of me instead of setting me free..he would rather spend 3 yrs. resenting me, being cruel to me, he took my heart, soul, and spirit and crushed them to hell. January of 08' he released me for 1 month. I changed in that month. now he wants everything to be fantastic between us. Do I trust him NOT, revenge is best served cold. When the time comes I will walk away from my Master..I will release myself from him... While I am sorry this happened to you, you are now doing exactly what he did, blaming him for the time after. Once you found out, there was no reason for you to wait for him to "release" you. YOU let him keep your heart, be cruel to you and crush you. Before anyone says anything about "honor" and requesting/waiting for release....there is no honor or dignity in letting someone stomp on your feelings, or be cruel to you. Honor and dignity are derived from the strength of your soul. I suggest you get away from him NOW, and get some therapy so you can learn to have the strength to never let it happen to you again, and to help you realize you were in no way at fault. Hate to break it to you, but what he did was/is abusive. The only one who will break the cycle of abuse is you.

janiebelle -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/23/2009 10:13:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marie2 My opinion is that he is hiding something from you, or intends to use and dump you, and doesn't want you seeking revenge by telling his wife or blowing the whistle at his place of employment. I think when people can't trust someone they are intimately involved with, they most likely are the ones who aren't trustworthy themselves. Excellent point. Projection. j

DesFIP -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/24/2009 4:50:09 AM)
I would expect most if not all of this during a first date. If I went to a party and some guy asked for my number, called and I agreed to meet him for dinner, there wouldn't be a second date if he insisted I couldn't know his last name, he refused to give me his phone number, wouldn't mention where he worked. He's married. Otherwise he wouldn't be so afraid of telling you anything that you could use to locate him once he moves on.

vinylchick42 -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/24/2009 8:54:52 AM)
oh its better than i thought.... just found out he has a gf in san fransisco. i need to find a radar-gun for a honest man!!! i wonder if they sell them at Home Depot??? hahahaha it's ok, i'm not terribly distraught over this, this will not be the end of my world. i knew it wasn't going to last anyways. just wanted it to last though... know what i mean?

lilmisssubmiss -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/24/2009 9:16:32 AM)
edit didn't read the post on top of me!

antipode -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/24/2009 9:49:04 AM)
quote: i need to find a radar-gun for a honest man You honestly don't need one. There are a lot of people (men & women) online that spend their online time manipulating others. They perfect this craft, we have all fallen for it. In another thread here, someone understands the profile is a scam, but he enjoys talking to the "slave". Apparently oblivious to the fact that the slave is a guy in an internet cafe somewhere. So if you are talking to someone you're interested in, build in a few tests to see if they will make two way traffic. Your example - you have kids, so he builds a fantasy around his "kids" - is a classic. Build in some tests, and what is hardest, if they fail even one, move on, bam. Anyway, you figured it out. Good for you.

DarkSteven -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/24/2009 9:56:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: vinylchick42 i need to find a radar-gun for a honest man!!! i wonder if they sell them at Home Depot??? hahahaha They do sell stud finders. That suffices for many women.

hopelessfool -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/24/2009 9:58:50 AM)
Steven, i dont think they want that kind of stud :P

DarkSteven -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/24/2009 10:05:06 AM)
I think I know what kind of stud they want. /preens/

vinylchick42 -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/24/2009 10:22:04 AM)
lol.. stud finder.. i dont need help with that, thats easy to find. matter fact dont even need to leave the house for that, i do have a phone winks you crack me up though about the stud finder.. thanks for the laughs

sweetgirlseeks -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/24/2009 1:24:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Drakontos Within two hours of speaking with her owner on a message board, zaphira had his phone number, home address, place of business, business number, a faxed copy of his drivers license, and confirmation from local authorities that he was who he said he was. This slave did not ask for these things; Master gave them to her despite her protests. In additon to this, zaphira was not asked to verify anything about herself. All she was required to give up was her real name and phone number. Boy... was He ever hot for you! smiles ~sgs

sirsholly -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/24/2009 2:42:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: vinylchick42 oh its better than i thought.... just found out he has a gf in san fransisco. i need to find a radar-gun for a honest man!!! i wonder if they sell them at Home Depot??? hahahaha it's ok, i'm not terribly distraught over this, this will not be the end of my world. i knew it wasn't going to last anyways. just wanted it to last though... know what i mean? i'm sorry. i know it hurts.

sirsholly -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/24/2009 2:44:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven I think I know what kind of stud they want. /preens/ [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

sweetsub1957 -> RE: when or how soon??? (5/24/2009 3:15:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: vinylchick42 i need to find a radar-gun for a honest man!!! i wonder if they sell them at Home Depot??? hahahaha They do sell stud finders. That suffices for many women. You are too funny!! [:D][:D][:D]

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