Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual.

Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (Full Version)

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WildThought -> Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/24/2009 8:35:48 PM)
I have a sub who is very much in "sister love" with another girl. They hang out often and I am ok with that. Anyway, I get a phone call and she wants to know if its ok if her and her friend make out. I am not into playing with others without both present and told her no. She goes on to try to convince me that since they do not diddle or lick each others clits its not sexual. She has no problems following my orders with this regard. However, I am very dubious that making out with someone you love can be construed as a non-sexual act. How is it possible not to get turned on in that situaltion? Anyway, wanted hear from woman - especially bi on this topic. Can you be in a loving relationship with a female friend, make out, maybe even shower together and have that not turn you on and therefore not be sexual? It sounds crazy to me, but I have testosterone and a penis and feel the need to double check.

slaveluci -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/24/2009 8:40:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WildThought Can you be in a loving relationship with a female friend, make out, maybe even shower together and have that not turn you on and therefore not be sexual? It sounds crazy to me, but I have testosterone and a penis and feel the need to double check. I am a bisexual female. I have loving relationships with females without it being sexual. I have showered with other females without it being sexual. I have not, however, "made out" with another female without it being "sexual." For me, once the "making out" begins, it's "sexual," no two ways about it[8D] luci

LafayetteLady -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/24/2009 10:52:08 PM)
"Making out" is may not be intimate sexual contact, but when you slide your tongue in someone's mouth or soap up their body, it's crossing the line, especially since you have an agreement on who does what with whom and when. ETA: P.S Just like I've told many women not to tolerate violating an agreement, neither should you. If you can't communicate that she needs to stop, you need to evaluate the relationship.

Kat713 -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/24/2009 11:00:53 PM)
I have made out with a girl before when drunk and it is fun and yes it turns me on a little. So no I don't think you can do that and not get turned on. However, sometimes if you really feel comfortable with the girl, you can get dressed in front of each other, and it doesn't turn me on or anything. So maybe taking a shower together wouldn't either... i mean, i used to bathe with my sister when we were younger. But making out? Come on, that is sexual in itself.

berrysurprise -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/24/2009 11:00:58 PM)
i completely agree... couldn't have said it better myself!

LadySweetOrSour -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/24/2009 11:07:03 PM)
I agree with luci. Girls can be around each other naked, showering, helping each other get dressed, etc. and there's nothing in it sexual. Once you start making out or touching each other up (and not in a silly look at me situation where you are just doing it to get attention), it's sexual. If this is a limit for you, why are you letting her "try to convince you"? The answer is no, the end.

WildThought -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/24/2009 11:24:12 PM)
It has not been a limit for me in the past. Like, we are at a bar together and she is making out with a girl and I am grabbing both of their hair. That is totally hot, however in this situation. Its a best friend, her previous previous relationship with a guy they were all intimate. I actually totally trust her on her not doing anything, but when I told her that is so sexual, she keeps claiming its not. I already made a decison, however like to hear others advice and thoughts. Thanks!

NihilusZero -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/25/2009 12:31:53 AM)
I'm failing to see the motivation on her part to persuade you away from a decision you made if there isn't a libido-oriented aspect to it. If it isn't sexual, what precisely would she be getting out of it that she felt compelled to respond with "But..but...!" rather than "As you wish. I was just curious."?

BitaTruble -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/25/2009 1:07:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WildThought Can you be in a loving relationship with a female friend, make out, maybe even shower together and have that not turn you on and therefore not be sexual? For me, getting turned on involves my brain and if there's no SM involved then I retain a good deal of control over what's happening below my waist so, yes, I can be in a loving relationship with a female friend, make out, shower, and not be turned on. Making out can be for the connection, the joy of pure tactile sensation (like petting a kitten; I love the soft fur but the action doesn't turn me on), for the bonding or even just for giggles. Whether or not being turned on is a criteria for something to be sexual is another story and as you're the one holding the reins, you're the one who makes that determination for her. If you think making out is sexual, then you just tell her that, in your eyes it's sexual, period. ::skips off singing Girls just Wanna have Fun::

berrysurprise -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/25/2009 2:04:21 AM)
Maybe she has such control while with this girl she is able to play and not get emotionally involved? i don't understand the dynamics fully but i can relate to being able to do certain things with certain people depending on how much self control i had at the time. If she is adamant she is still in control then maybe she is... However i don't know how much 'sexual' has to do with it... once those senses start running it is very hard to control them... There are many women out there who have sex etc but do not find it sexual at all... only an act... Could this be where she is coming from????

WarriorKitten -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/25/2009 2:16:40 AM)
that's the thing I AM IN CONTROL. PERIOD. END OF SENTENCE. I CAN CONTROL MYSELF. I really dont have sexual feelings towards my sister friend. I have a group of friends and we're just about that and I feel they were there first and they willl be there after and if people can't understand that then O FUCKING WELLL;

WarriorKitten -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/25/2009 2:18:37 AM)
BTW not warrior kitten... am just on her profile. \* I feel un trustworthy. and alll EWWWWWWWWWWW

LadySweetOrSour -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/25/2009 2:27:50 AM)
Your dom posted this, take it up with him. He asked a question, he got responses. Again, take it up with him.

YoungBlondeSlave -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/25/2009 2:42:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WarriorKitten that's the thing I AM IN CONTROL. PERIOD. END OF SENTENCE. I CAN CONTROL MYSELF. I really dont have sexual feelings towards my sister friend. I have a group of friends and we're just about that and I feel they were there first and they willl be there after and if people can't understand that then O FUCKING WELLL; Sorta indicates to me that she does and she's trying to convince herself that she doesn't. And also that she's got the maturity of a 14-year old. Really, go to talk to you Dom/Master. He's really concerned and you really need to work things out with him. Don't come posturing to us about the control that you have. Show him that you have that control and prove it to him.

eyesopened -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/25/2009 2:57:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YoungBlondeSlave quote: ORIGINAL: WarriorKitten that's the thing I AM IN CONTROL. PERIOD. END OF SENTENCE. I CAN CONTROL MYSELF. I really dont have sexual feelings towards my sister friend. I have a group of friends and we're just about that and I feel they were there first and they willl be there after and if people can't understand that then O FUCKING WELLL; Sorta indicates to me that she does and she's trying to convince herself that she doesn't. And also that she's got the maturity of a 14-year old. Really, go to talk to you Dom/Master. He's really concerned and you really need to work things out with him. Don't come posturing to us about the control that you have. Show him that you have that control and prove it to him. Didn't even have enough control not to use someone else's profile to scream at others about their expressing their opinions. Untrustworthy? maybe not. Drama? Oh *yeah*! Just wondering why, if friends are a priority over a Dominant, why wouldit be necessary to ask permission to do whatever with said friends? Oh, yeah, that drama thing.

berrysurprise -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/25/2009 3:43:26 AM)
I sure hope this issue hasn't been blown to far out of proportion... It is only as big as you make it! If nothing has gone wrong so far... and everything is out in the open i cant understand why there is still an issue. Although she does sound more dependent on her friends than her Dom? maybe that is why he is querying the relationship

oceanwinds -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/25/2009 4:31:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened quote: ORIGINAL: YoungBlondeSlave quote: ORIGINAL: WarriorKitten that's the thing I AM IN CONTROL. PERIOD. END OF SENTENCE. I CAN CONTROL MYSELF. I really dont have sexual feelings towards my sister friend. I have a group of friends and we're just about that and I feel they were there first and they willl be there after and if people can't understand that then O FUCKING WELLL; Sorta indicates to me that she does and she's trying to convince herself that she doesn't. And also that she's got the maturity of a 14-year old. Really, go to talk to you Dom/Master. He's really concerned and you really need to work things out with him. Don't come posturing to us about the control that you have. Show him that you have that control and prove it to him. Didn't even have enough control not to use someone else's profile to scream at others about their expressing their opinions. Untrustworthy? maybe not. Drama? Oh *yeah*! Just wondering why, if friends are a priority over a Dominant, why wouldit be necessary to ask permission to do whatever with said friends? Oh, yeah, that drama thing. Well said.

SaintSavant -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/25/2009 5:04:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WarriorKitten that's the thing I AM IN CONTROL. PERIOD. END OF SENTENCE. I CAN CONTROL MYSELF. I really dont have sexual feelings towards my sister friend. I have a group of friends and we're just about that and I feel they were there first and they willl be there after and if people can't understand that then O FUCKING WELLL; Oh boy. This is not going to end well.

barelynangel -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/25/2009 5:14:15 AM)
She is attempting to manipulate you and i can't believe she doesn't know it and her friend doesn't know it -- so you can pretty much bet they both know it. so the point here is what do you seriously believe. I would call it what it is to her -- BS. She obviously felt it was some concept of what she needs to ask permission about because she called and asked you and then tried to say BUT and manipulate the situation. It doesn't matter what it is -- the concept involved here is she i trying to manipulate you -- in my former M/s relationship that probably would have gotten my behind spanked and awhile before i got to enjoy what i tried to manipulate him about. angel

Drifa -> RE: Two girls who love each other making out and showering. Claims its not sexual. (5/25/2009 5:16:16 AM)
Why would she even have asked for permission if SHE didn't know it was over the line? It sounds as if your prenegotiated boundary is "no sexual contact with others unless both of us are present". That's YOUR limit, and it should be respected, just as her limits should be. Personally, as a girl who is definitely into girls, there's a distinct place where stuff gets sexual. Naked is when you are changing in the locker room, or showering in a group. Nekkid is when you don't have clothes on and are up to no good and have plans to get into more trouble soon. Your partner wants to have some nekkid time is what it sounds like. And anyone who thinks that two women having sex are limited to cunnilingus and finger fucking as activities to get to orgasm is deluded. Tribadism, frottage, erotic massage, mutual masturbation... that's all fun and can be great sex. It isn't innocent "girl time", it's sex.

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