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bearly2001 -> the dom "voice" and its use (5/25/2009 6:50:14 AM)
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i have noticed many references in postings, replies and journals the concept of the voice as a tool in bdsm. i posted part of the following in response to a question regarding how the voice may be used in the mental aspect of bdsm.
i am an online-only dom who utilizes the media of text, voice and cam to relate to the submissives in my life. the utilization of my voice, actual and "virtual", plays a critical role in all phases of the ongoing d/s relationships i seek.
i consider my dom "voice" to be many things other than my actual speaking voice. it is the essential maleness and dom nature that inhabits my being and my words. it is the essence of my psyche and personality, portrayed through my words, my bearing and my actions. in the early stages of a nascent relationship, i use my voice to seduce and inform and to gain access to the submissives wave-length. my voice, in my initial contact with a sub, is heard within the text of my introductory email or in my first chats... i hope to use my voice to achieve a "resonance" with the sub, so she may know my authenticity and sincerity. i use my voice to elicit information and to overcome any barriers that our unfamiliarity has raised. i am conscious of the tone and tenor of my words, especially those considered and well crafted entrees into the mind of the submissive i am courting. i must quickly differentiate myself from the masses and the droning din of others' voices, as i begin the mating dance of our minds.
i became aware of the power of the voice early on. my father had the voice of authority and of a marine, yet it was his quiet voice that i feared and respected. i learned the power of oration during my stint as a public speaker and the beauty and majesty possible in the voice through song. i learned to appreciate and hear the voice contained within the written word, as i gained my degree in literature and saw how poetry and voice are one.
during my working life as an advocate for the disabled and chronically ill, i learned further uses of my actual speaking voice. working primarily over the telephone, i developed an ability to put people at ease and to cut through the drama and the often intense emotion they carried to the conversation, or to surmount the barriers of depression and defensiveness. to be effective, i had to quickly establish a dominant role in order to act as an effective advocate and to reach a state of understanding and common purpose. i found that the natural rich tones of my baritone could be modulated to calm and reassure them of my competence, confidence and strength.
through my early exposure to eastern philosophy,meditation, zen, bio-feedback and the technique of self hypnosis, i recognized that establishing the pace and rhythm of a conversation, taking subtle control of the course and substance, modulating their breathing to mine and centering our mutual focus.. i could then lead my clients where i needed them to go. no doubt there was some actual brain wave correlation between my contolled and measured voice and their acceptance of my role. in any event i learned that the voice can be mighty and conquering or soothing and welcoming. the voice as a tool became readily apparent to me. this realization proved effective when i became an online dom and sought to gain the mental access and intimate bond with the submissive mind i crave.
when i encounter her, the feminine yin to my yang, i seek to earn her control first through my honesty and integrity and later through her hearing the siren's song of my dom heart. my voice is key in overcoming a sub's natural wariness. though she seeks, she must somehow discern the true nature of any dom she encounters, and resist advances until his soul is revealed as true... yet, she encounters so many wannabes, poseurs, impostors and deceivers... that barriers are erected and she must defend against the aggression and assault of so many. she must wend her way carefully through the convoluted minefields separating her from the ultimate goal of her search, the dom whose voice reaches and touches her innermost core. her "inner" ear will hopefully hear my "voice" and she will thrill with the recognition and the caress of my words, the kindred vibration of the true spirit within us both. any latent blossoming of submissive awareness may be accomplished by the fertilizing quality of an encounter with what her soul has sought for in vain... and the depth and meaning of my proffered words (ok, i recognize that there may be some humorous correlation between words, fertilizer and manure!).
she must somehow hear that i am offering her an oasis, a portal to the submissive gardens she seeks to serve in.. a path to pleasure and symbiotic mutual enlightenment..
and yes, my voice leads as all dominants must. i may be leading her through the rigors of personal growth, or to realizing her potential in the real world.. or i may be leading her to intense orgasms and fulfillment in cyberspace. my softest urging.. a mere whisper.. may have the power of a command if my voice is amplified by my stature as a true dom to my submissive/slave. my voice can contain the same sting or solace that touch offers.. and in cyberspace my voice serves as my virtual arms and hands, encircling and embracing the love and respect i seek.
use your voice wisely and you will clearly perceive the heart warming echoes of the satisfaction you bring to others, use it unwisely and you will drown out the voices seeking you and add to the cacophony of the daily chaos the modern world offers so deafeningly.
finally, i have spent all this time emphasizing the voice and what it means to me as a dom. but always remember, it is useless without its partner and complement. the ability so often missing in the male, nearly universally lamented by the women we seek as an inherited flaw in our genetic makeup... the rarely exhibited patience and wisdom... TO LISTEN!
the thoughts and musings, from rick the bear, on this quiet morning of reflection.. when we lower our voices, bow our heads and pay homage to the men and women who have served our great country.
Happy Memorial Day, all!
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