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Dom drop? - 5/28/2009 7:41:47 PM   
Peg61


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/28/2008
Status: offline 		i just spent 5 glorious days with a wonderful man, we're both back home in our own cities.  he is tired, listless, generally blah... which is a lot like how i feel... when i am dropping...

does Dom drop exist?
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RE: Dom drop? - 5/28/2009 8:05:27 PM   
SmokingGun82


Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		Like anything else, it does for some and doesn't for others. For me, there's sometimes a listless day or two, especially if there's a real connection with the person but some circumstance means we won't be able to see each other again. Or maybe he's just a little bummed to be back home after a good vacation- no matter how great home is, sometimes it's a downer to be back alone.

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(in reply to Peg61)
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RE: Dom drop? - 5/28/2009 8:08:43 PM   
cagliostro


Posts: 128
Joined: 12/29/2007
Status: offline 		I think so.  I hid in the bathroom and cried some once.  Lol.  Sub drop is talked about a lot, and is apparently a little more severe than what I would call dom drop.  It's a similar emotional mechanism.  We both feel a high, so we could both feel a kind of drop.  Logically anyway, and the real dom's vs. subs.  I definitely feel something is missing when I visit and leave.  A part of me is missing.  yes I can function without it, but that missing part is definitely there.

You could probably help him with it.  At least a little.  You could help him feel more domly even apart.  Ask him for things.  You'll stimulate that side of him, and fill your own needs too.  Just an idea.

(in reply to Peg61)
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RE: Dom drop? - 5/28/2009 8:11:02 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Not all experience it, but yes it does exist.  There is a very deep and centered focus during a session and biochemical changes as well.  Coming back to earth can be less than pleasant.  I am usually tired and self critiquing during my post session down time.  It passes with lots of rest and time.

lovingpet

(in reply to SmokingGun82)
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RE: Dom drop? - 5/28/2009 8:13:10 PM   
VelvetCruelty


Posts: 153
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline 		I believe so.  I can get very melancholy.  Have that familiar ache.  I always thought maybe it was the after effects of all the endorphins from having a wonderful session.  The fix, another session!

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RE: Dom drop? - 5/28/2009 9:16:47 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		If one believes in the concept of Top space, the rush of endorphins released in the brain during play, the reverse has to also be true.  When that rush goes back to 'normal' which is what the brain is really used to, it can bring on drop.  The pleasure centers of the brain aren't prepared for the sudden slowing of that feel good chemical after they have been on overdrive.

If you use the search feature at the bottom left of the page, you'll find many conversations regarding drop in Tops.







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RE: Dom drop? - 5/29/2009 3:13:29 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

does Dom drop exist?


Indeed it does exist, but generally it does go away after a few days. We D types can suffer from the same symptoms as you described, blahness, having trouble focusing, feeling tired and perhaps anxious. It does go away.

~Lashra


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(in reply to Peg61)
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RE: Dom drop? - 5/29/2009 3:15:46 PM   
LyraLaLaurie


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		I'm getting it right now. I feel like I've been hit with a wave of blah. I'm also about to start my period though.

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: Dom drop? - 6/2/2009 10:44:37 PM   
StoneFox


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I get Top Drop a lot. Usually I just feel totally wiped out. Not unhappy or low, but just tired and unfocused. I like to combat that with vanilla sex at home and a good night's sleep. Usually I'm right as rain afterwards :)

It's important for Dominants to remember that we too need a certain amount of aftercare. Just to re-balance.

(in reply to LyraLaLaurie)
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RE: Dom drop? - 6/3/2009 4:52:43 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The worst drop I ever got, which coincided with him dropping hard also was after we played most of the night and the following morning. We stopped only when I began shaking uncontrollably. He not only had to make me a cup of tea, he had to hold the cup for me. We decided that two hours sleep, 12 hours play, and skipped meals do not make for a smart combination.

These days we say when we're hungry and tired, we don't play through it. We bring water or hot drinks to bedside, we keep blankets at hand. This way we can rehydrate even if we're only stopping for a minute to change ties. By paying attention to the physical needs we can avert the worst drop.

And we don't play right up until the moment we need to separate, we nap and eat before we say goodbye.

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RE: Dom drop? - 6/3/2009 9:40:59 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Peg61

i just spent 5 glorious days with a wonderful man, we're both back home in our own cities.  he is tired, listless, generally blah... which is a lot like how i feel... when i am dropping...

does Dom drop exist?



I don't tend to drop, usually, after bottoming.

After topping/dominating overtly I do, though, and often hard.

And this past week I've been having "Camp Drop" from leaving CampCrucible where I topped, bottomed, and all sorts of other things.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 6/3/2009 9:41:52 AM >

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(in reply to Peg61)
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RE: Dom drop? - 6/3/2009 10:17:14 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Never having suffered Dom/Master Drop per se, probably because BDSM play is nowhere near the top of my list, I can only work on the basis of what others have said here and else where and liken it to the high (as is highly sensitised and heightened awareness) when one has been is life threatening situations, a martial arts tournament including medieval combat or duelling with razored rapiers and similar instances where you are what is referred to as "The Zone". When things are back to relative normality, the lassitude, let down of mundanity etc appears to be something akin to Dom Drop. This also applies when working serious heavy rituals too. These are the times when I honestly feel completely alive and the not knowing if I will see another day is the largest buzz.  For me being an adrenaline junky of decades standing, there is nothing like the high and all else seems at the time rather pointless....  The hardest things is to find a balance between the desire to attain those realms and the knowledge that one's body has not the strength, resiliance or recovery powers of a decade or so ago. Sad that most of us waste the years of youth where we have the capabilities to move mountains and achieve the impossible with shallow persduits of the flesh and yet once we are unable to assay those heights we have the emotional and mental abilities to do so and appreciete them as well. I imagine that some will post and tell me if I am on the right track here, or then mayhap not.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 6/3/2009 10:23:15 PM >

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(in reply to RumpusParable)
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RE: Dom drop? - 6/4/2009 7:58:36 PM   
LyraLaLaurie


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		I've had sub drop, but before topping it seemed almost ridiculous that tops would feel the same thing. The worst I've experienced was when I did 3 scenes in a row, all with different people. I *really* wanted to cram in all the experience and styles I could get that night, not knowing about how bad the drop would be. It took lots of carbs, aspirin and sleep to shake that off. So much stimulation and excitement without time to process it gave me a MASSIVE stress headache! Even if it's a torrent of awesome...pace yourself...

(in reply to IronBear)
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RE: Dom drop? - 6/4/2009 10:12:38 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I get Dom drop pretty bad sometimes.
When I interact in a BDSM scene I focus superduper tight
Lock in on her and everything else slips away until its her breathing, her skin temperature, the way she reacts
Coming down from that heightened state is always a letdown and its a fair bet that I am going to be off kilter the next day or so.
Its a feeling of angst
Food is tasteless, things have lost a touch of their zest and my overall optimism takes a hit
But in a day or so everything is just peachy

(in reply to LyraLaLaurie)
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RE: Dom drop? - 6/10/2009 1:17:24 AM   
SmokeSerpent


Posts: 41
Joined: 2/19/2009
Status: offline 		Totally.

I try to push through and act normally through it, but I feel myself slacking off from work, getting snippy or apathetic. I've sometimes found myself holding back when I'm with a sub because I know how useless I'm going to be if I really connect and go deep.

(in reply to Peg61)
Profile   Post #: 15
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