The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (Full Version)

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slave4luv -> The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/8/2006 6:04:05 PM)

i would love to hear the viewpoint of lifestyle Dommes on the subject of cuckoldry. Is it a natural fit within the d/s and perhaps bdsm lifestyle, involving a male slave and his Domme wife or girlfriend?




LadyJulieAnn -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/8/2006 6:10:23 PM)

It isn't for me. My sub and I are monogamous and have no desire to involve anyone else in our relationship.

Be well,
Julie




MHOO314 -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/8/2006 6:16:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4luv

i would love to hear the viewpoint of lifestyle Dommes on the subject of cuckoldry. Is it a natural fit within the d/s and perhaps bdsm lifestyle, involving a male slave and his Domme wife or girlfriend?



Not for Me, I am monag, in play and LTR--I'd say it is in BDSM as it is alternative, but a natural fit, let's say its a choice.




MistressFire70 -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/9/2006 7:11:59 AM)

Whether or not it's a natural fit will depend on the dispositions of the Dominant and sub/slave. If the slave is expecting mono, they're most likely to have jealousy and envy issues if forced into cuckholdery.

I am poly. This means I have more than one relationship going at once, and each is special. With my girl anne, I have no problems with her seeking outside the relationship...both for sex partners and play partners. It's a long distance relationship and she needs these things in her life to be happy and healthy. Our relationship is primarily service based, where her main function is to serve her local community and be a mentor for new people (she had 20+ years of experience to share).

Now, with my boy jason, it's a different story. This relationship is new and has different components to it than anne's relationship. I am much more possessive of him than I am of her. Fortunately, he doesn't need sex in order to be happy and healthy, as he's explained it to me. What he wants are companions and friends, mostly. Because the relationship is new and because he's had to move away (military), I freely admit that I'd be jealous and envious as hell if he had sex and/or play partners. This is due, frankly, to insecurities on my part. I'm workin' on that. ;-)

So the cuckholdery is rather natural between me and jason, but more so from his natural desires (or lack thereof) than by my demand. In the end, with him thousands of miles away, it'd be impossible for me to truly enforce cuckholdery on him. If he needed that, I'd probably agree, give him simple guidelines (safe sex, etc) and then let him do as he pleased in order to maintain his emotional health. I'd only ask about what he was doing when I needed to. I may have to do this as far as a play partners goes, in the end. It just remains to be seen.

Fire




yourMissTress -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/9/2006 8:22:48 AM)

The proceeding comments are based on my opinions and in no way represent those of the Domme/Domina culture at large. No subs were harmed in the formation of these opinions.


Cuckolding is about the Mistress' power, sexuality, and sensuality. It's about the Mistress being in complete control of the relationship able to do as she pleases. Cuckolding is the perfect illustration of the sub putting the Mistress' enjoyment and pleasure before his/her own, and even going so far as to watch and revel in her enjoyment to his own humiliation and degradation. Because of the nature and power of cuckolding I don't believe it's something to be taken lightly or experimented with casually.


Not every fetish is suitable for every person. Because I use something or do something with one sub, does not mean I do it with every sub. I am respectful of limits and know very well what a sub can and cannot handle emotionally. The nature of cuckolding requires a very strong emotional bond between Mistress and sub. The sub must be completely secure in the Mistress' feelings, knowing that the Mistress loves or cares for him/her and that the physical act of sex will not break or harm that bond. Without this strong emotional bond a cuckolding scene is nothing more than someone watching 2 people fuck.






amayos -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/9/2006 8:45:42 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4luv

i would love to hear the viewpoint of lifestyle Dommes on the subject of cuckoldry. Is it a natural fit within the d/s and perhaps bdsm lifestyle, involving a male slave and his Domme wife or girlfriend?


I am involved in just such a dynamic (as the dominant male), and I can say it is quite rewarding.




veronicaofML -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/9/2006 8:52:56 AM)

let him do as he pleased in order to maintain his emotional health
==========

please..pretty please....explain this?

ya just said he was not looking for sex...just friends..yet..then ya say this..
i am confused.
what is it YOU consider to be--emotional health?
esp with someone like me...at 52--that could care less if i ever even masturbate..
i go for weeks to months not feeling..the mood..
but THAT is just--the body--
please explain the "emotional" to me.
thqanks




MysticalPhoenix -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/9/2006 9:05:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4luv

i would love to hear the viewpoint of lifestyle Dommes on the subject of cuckoldry. Is it a natural fit within the d/s and perhaps bdsm lifestyle, involving a male slave and his Domme wife or girlfriend?


It's not for me. Cuckholdry historically, is where the allegedly monogamous wife cheated on her husband with her lover openly and often mockingly. She may or may not have withheld sex from her husband. It was a humiliation scenario. The husband was the cuckhold. He was jeered at by his peers for having horns on his head.

If the woman involved has a male partner that she wishes to humiliate by openly taking another lover and mocking him (and perhaps locking the cuckhold in a chastity device), and both partner and lover are into that, then it's a natural fit for their lifestyle.

I'm not into that, and I wouldn't take up with someone who was looking to either be a cuckhold or make a cuckhold out of another partner of mine. That doesn't mean that I won't involve myself with more than one partner at once, I am poly, after all. I just don't do poly that way.




SweetDommes -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/9/2006 10:49:25 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML

let him do as he pleased in order to maintain his emotional health
==========

please..pretty please....explain this?

ya just said he was not looking for sex...just friends..yet..then ya say this..
i am confused.
what is it YOU consider to be--emotional health?
esp with someone like me...at 52--that could care less if i ever even masturbate..
i go for weeks to months not feeling..the mood..
but THAT is just--the body--
please explain the "emotional" to me.
thqanks



If I read it correctly, the entire sentence includes "If he needed this" at the beginning - which means that while he doesn't need it so it isn't an issue, if it became an issue, she would allow him to look elsewhere (with guidlines).

To the OP - it isn't as "natural" to D/s dynamics any more than any other fetish or kink is. It works for some, not for others. It would never happen here, but I know people that it works well for (over short-term, at least). I have also met more than one that it did NOT work for, and it ruined the relationship. If that is what you want, then you will have to look for someone who also wants that so that you are compatable with her. It may take quite a bit of searching, but I know there are some out there.




MistressSassy66 -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/9/2006 1:09:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4luv

i would love to hear the viewpoint of lifestyle Dommes on the subject of cuckoldry. Is it a natural fit within the d/s and perhaps bdsm lifestyle, involving a male slave and his Domme wife or girlfriend?




Is it a natural fit? For some sure.For others No.
Maybe,I dont qualify to respond as My slave I cuckold is a woman(lesbian)she has many male qualities and one of them was the sex=love thing.That is what started it for Me.
I wanted her to see that not having sex wasnt going to kill her.Making her watch at first was hard for her but I made My point and as it turns out she actually likes to watch...Hmmm not sure its still cuckolding if they like it.

The point is it works for U/us.All relationships are different.W/we take what works for U/us and do that,there are no hard set rules as to what a relationship should be whether its BDSM oriented or vanilla.




FannyMacPuss -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/10/2006 5:26:01 AM)

Dont you mean cock holding?




MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/10/2006 7:44:29 AM)

quote:

i would love to hear the viewpoint of lifestyle Dommes on the subject of cuckoldry. Is it a natural fit within the d/s and perhaps bdsm lifestyle, involving a male slave and his Domme wife or girlfriend?


If it becomes part of a relationship of mine, it will be because it's something I've chosen to do, not because my sub is one of the many out there who try to pester their Domme into such a situation :-)




ownedgirlie -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/10/2006 1:59:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos


quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4luv

i would love to hear the viewpoint of lifestyle Dommes on the subject of cuckoldry. Is it a natural fit within the d/s and perhaps bdsm lifestyle, involving a male slave and his Domme wife or girlfriend?


I am involved in just such a dynamic (as the dominant male), and I can say it is quite rewarding.


Amayos, this subject has been introduced for conversation lately. Would you be interested in expanding a bit on the subject?




conscience -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/11/2006 3:21:28 AM)

Why is it that certain people on this website feel the need to attack a total stranger simply because of their believes or opinions? We each of us have them. People can enter into debate on a posted topic without deliberately causing offense to each other. There is absolutely no neeed whatsoever to use obscenities or profanities or ridicule someone.Those that do so are the people who need too luck at themselves very closely for psychiatric or personality disorders. Each is entitled to their respective viewpoint without the need too insult each other. I venture to suggest that everyone should respect each other and agree to disagree without insulting someone and starting the inevitable flame war. For anyone who is attacked I urge them to resist the tempation to respond back in kind if at all. Only respond to those people that are sane,sensible,decent and measured in their response to your particular post,even if they have the opposite persepective to yourself. Those that perpetrate such attacks are the people who seek attention and not the people they pray on and claim seek attention. If they or ignored they will eventually go away because they will be bored that nobody is paying attention to them or joining in with their immature and childlike antics.






bear372217355 -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/11/2006 3:57:27 AM)

You post a form letter about people here being intentionally mean, then you post that comment. Wow do you always listen to the voices in your head?

You are no better then the people you claim ruin the site for all. Only those you dislike seem to have a greater grasp on themselves and what they stand for.




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/11/2006 6:59:24 PM)

quote:

If it becomes part of a relationship of mine, it will be because it's something I've chosen to do, not because my sub is one of the many out there who try to pester their Domme into such a situation :-)
My sentiments exactly. In fact I cannot consider a partner who needs and seeks it since I am nowhere near ready to go that route. M




GoddessDustyGold -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/11/2006 7:15:49 PM)

I am glad that M and MsSonnetMarwood both brought up the common happenstance of a male submissive wanting the cuckold experience much more often than the Lady involved.
As already stated, this might work or it might not. It all depends on the relationship. But the biggest mistake most boys make is trying to force the situation in order to experience their fantasy.
Cuckolding in this lifestyle is about the Lady's pleasure at the Lady's leisure. And that is something that is too often forgotten.




MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/11/2006 9:01:43 PM)

ith
quote:

I am glad that M and MsSonnetMarwood both brought up the common happenstance of a male submissive wanting the cuckold experience much more often than the Lady involved.
As already stated, this might work or it might not. It all depends on the relationship. But the biggest mistake most boys make is trying to force the situation in order to experience their fantasy.
Cuckolding in this lifestyle is about the Lady's pleasure at the Lady's leisure. And that is something that is too often forgotten.


For myself, I simply can not have a "life partner" that I treat with contempt and have no/limited sex life with...if I truly held them in contempt and the sex was sub-par, I would not bond with them on a level of relationship that is needed to make a life partnership work.

I bring this up because these seem to be strong themes running through the fantasy of being a cuckhold.

I am, however, not strictly monogamous, so certainly if I was seeing a secondary submissive, my primary would be very aware of it.




LuvSponge -> RE: The lifestyle Domme's viewpoint on cucking (2/28/2006 5:49:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

Without this strong emotional bond a cuckolding scene is nothing more than someone watching 2 people fuck. [/font] [/size] [/color]


(Not of course, that there's anything wrong with that :) )




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