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a question... - 5/29/2009 10:02:33 PM

explorer2008

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What is a 'true submissive" mean to you???

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RE: a question... - 5/29/2009 10:07:04 PM

JuliaGreenleaf

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The scary dark side of my soul.
I know that now.

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RE: a question... - 5/29/2009 10:48:35 PM

peppermint

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There is no universal "true submissive." I suppose if pressed I would say a true submissive to you is a person who personifies YOUR ideal submissive. As for me, since there are so many variances in what a submissive is, I'll just beg to disagree with this whole thread and say a "true submissive" does not exist.

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RE: a question... - 5/29/2009 11:01:05 PM

onlyfreelycaged

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there's so much gray in what that could be.. just as big as the sub vs. slave debate.

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 3:05:43 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: explorer2008

What is a 'true submissive" mean to you???

In a literal sense, that would be difficult to pin down....

But I think that those who describe themselves (or others) as "true.... anything" are trying to make a point and distance themselves from those just adopting a temporary role. So it can be about status, or hierarchy or simply personal pride.

And I personally don't mind that, even if it is one of those BDSM buzz-word faux pas' that come on as a raging red rag to a bull to the site's resident drama club.

I don't know what it literally means but I understand what someone is trying to say when they use such terms, also including 'genuine' and 'natural' etc. So it is a term of merit for the purpose of communication - to me, anyway. Just <whispering> avoid saying it out loud.... lol

And welcome to the Forums.... :-)

Focus.

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 3:17:02 AM

DarkSteven

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Whenever I see that term, it puts me on alert. I have never seen it used except as a manipulative tool to get an inexperienced sub to think that she has to do something she doesn't want to.

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 3:41:08 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Whenever I see that term, it puts me on alert. I have never seen it used except as a manipulative tool to get an inexperienced sub to think that she has to do something she doesn't want to.

i agree with Steven (shup, Stevie...it was bound to happen eventually)

Many of us have been called players, phonies, and told we are not weal twue subs because our thought/limits differ from those of a dom

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 4:03:34 AM

masmiss

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I suppose a "true" anything-sub or Dom- can mean a genuine lifestyler as opposed to a player. I've been accused of not being a "true Dom" because my requirements in a relationship differed from the sub's. I have to agree with DarkSteven's interpretation that being told one isn't a "true" sub (or Dom, for that matter) is manipulative.

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 4:34:15 AM

Fitznicely

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quote:

ORIGINAL: explorer2008

What is a 'true submissive" mean to you???

A label carried in a holster by elitist idiots, ready to fire at anyone they want to belittle.

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 4:58:51 AM

KMsAngel

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generally a statement from a "true dom".

take it with a grain of salt.

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 5:45:32 AM

HeavansKeeper

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As I understand it, and you've already noticed varied responses - mine is no different in that regard, the term "true submissive" is favoured by those who look down on bottoms, couples who have kinky sex in the bedroom, and weekend D/s sorts.

There is certainly a proximity between those groups which cannot be disregarded, but they are also different. Who would be looking down on them? I assume it would be a member of the 24-7 D/s mentality*. "not a true submissive" (again, as I understand it) is a term to specify that this person does not strive to serve at all times. If that makes most submissives, slaves, and bottoms in the real world (the ones who can't afford to live 24/7 in dungeons and don't have the luck to be the pets of princes) fair weather submissives, so be it.

*For clarification, there is no judgment ladder where people look down on any relationship not as ...invested as them.

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 5:53:36 AM

oceanwinds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: explorer2008

What is a 'true submissive" mean to you???

A person who is true to themselves, without the need to be the true way for everyone else. A person who truly considers themself to be submissive and seeks to submit to another, without the need to have every other sub to me molded like them.

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 5:56:13 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Whenever I see that term, it puts me on alert. I have never seen it used except as a manipulative tool to get an inexperienced sub to think that she has to do something she doesn't want to.

Despite Focus's point, that such terms can be meant to explain a certain innate yearning, how it has become used is commonly to put down others for having boundaries the someone else doesn't have, or to get a sub to allow her hard limits to be broken.

I've been told I'm not true because I'm not interested in pain play, only rope. And because I'm not bi and not willing to be in a relationship with a man who dips his wick into every possible wax pot.

Despite the fact that I submit only to one, and that I turned down countless offers from dominants who I was not compatable with, I am still true. And still in a long term relationship with my one.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 5/30/2009 5:59:20 AM >

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 6:14:20 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Whenever I see that term, it puts me on alert. I have never seen it used except as a manipulative tool to get an inexperienced sub to think that she has to do something she doesn't want to.

Despite Focus's point, that such terms can be meant to explain a certain innate yearning, how it has become used is commonly to put down others for having boundaries the someone else doesn't have, or to get a sub to allow her hard limits to be broken.

I've been told I'm not true because I'm not interested in pain play, only rope. And because I'm not bi and not willing to be in a relationship with a man who dips his wick into every possible wax pot.

Despite the fact that I submit only to one, and that I turned down countless offers from dominants who I was not compatable with, I am still true. And still in a long term relationship with my one.

At the risk of splitting hairs at the atomic level, I think DarkSteven (and a few seconders) have addressed a different question to the OP's.

IE, what isn't (or you're not) a true submissive? I don't see an angle of manipulation by calling someone, or yourself, a "true anything". Yep, I can see ego, naivity, sincere intentions or just plain brutal honesty. Just sayin'....

Focus.

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 6:17:05 AM

Drakontos

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds

quote:

ORIGINAL: explorer2008

What is a 'true submissive" mean to you???

A person who is true to themselves, without the need to be the true way for everyone else. A person who truly considers themself to be submissive and seeks to submit to another, without the need to have every other sub to me molded like them.

This slave would have to agree with what was said here

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 6:22:11 AM

AngelGeena

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely

A label carried in a holster by elitist idiots, ready to fire at anyone they want to belittle.

nicely put

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 6:24:20 AM

RealSub58

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My Sir says I am his real submissive. He has no other, wants no other. So that makes me his true submissive. But he knows for sure there are other "true" submissives, they just dont belong to him.

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 6:31:54 AM

Opalescence

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"To yield to governance or authority" is the definition of submitting. Submissive just means submitting to others. Lord, do definitions make things easier. So, if you're doing the yielding thing, you're spot on.

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 9:17:05 AM

Roselaure

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I really don't give it much thought. I am submissive in the way that I am. It is a real and "true", if you will, part of me. My Master is pleased, I am satisfied and life is good.

Around these parts, there are certain words and phrases the almost invariably lead to flames, and usually discussion of what makes a "true submissive" is one of them.

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RE: a question... - 5/30/2009 12:52:00 PM

breatheasone

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Seriously, i just use the term "s" type. Anything else seems to get picked apart. It has no meaning (that term) How you, and your "D" type decide to live it, that is whats right and true for you two.

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