RE: Why does my Master do this?

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vinylchick42 -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (5/31/2009 9:45:36 AM)
did you gain weight since he chose you? if not, then weight is not the issue.

GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (5/31/2009 9:55:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah Okay the whole weight thing being an issue and why you aren't getting any dick is just a little to soft for me. Pardon the Pun. Maybe the other girl is Tighter. Maybe the other girl Swallows. Maybe the other girl takes it in the ass. Maybe HIS climax is better with the other girl. Maybe he likes the way she reacts to his sexual style better than you do. Maybe he feels she needs it more than you do. Maybe he finds himself more sexually attracted to her in ALL ways. Maybe you just don't get him off the way he likes. Maybe you don't understand his sexual needs. Maybe your purpose to him is not really based on the sexual. Maybe you just don't get wet enough. Maybe you don't stick a finger in his butt and she does and he kinda likes that. quote: . The D/s aspect of your relationship means that he does what he wants to do Steel She wants affection..not just dick.. and maybe HE is lazy maybe his dick is small so he needs a smaller cunt maybe she takes less time maybe his cum tastes like garlic maybe he is selfish maybe he can't get her wet maybe he can't contribute to getting himself off maybe he can't be loving to two maybe doing whatever he wants will contribute to the demise of the relationships... maybe he should have stayed at disappointing one..why disappoint 2??? GQ ...

SteelofUtah -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (5/31/2009 11:41:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah Okay the whole weight thing being an issue and why you aren't getting any dick is just a little to soft for me. Pardon the Pun. Maybe the other girl is Tighter. Maybe the other girl Swallows. Maybe the other girl takes it in the ass. Maybe HIS climax is better with the other girl. Maybe he likes the way she reacts to his sexual style better than you do. Maybe he feels she needs it more than you do. Maybe he finds himself more sexually attracted to her in ALL ways. Maybe you just don't get him off the way he likes. Maybe you don't understand his sexual needs. Maybe your purpose to him is not really based on the sexual. Maybe you just don't get wet enough. Maybe you don't stick a finger in his butt and she does and he kinda likes that. quote: . The D/s aspect of your relationship means that he does what he wants to do Steel She wants affection..not just dick.. and maybe HE is lazy maybe his dick is small so he needs a smaller cunt maybe she takes less time maybe his cum tastes like garlic maybe he is selfish maybe he can't get her wet maybe he can't contribute to getting himself off maybe he can't be loving to two maybe doing whatever he wants will contribute to the demise of the relationships... maybe he should have stayed at disappointing one..why disappoint 2??? GQ Okay, NO, you are PROJECTING that she wants affection as NOTHING in her original post talks about affection it talks about SEX, you Victimizer her by softening the edges of what she ACTUALLY said and putting in your own desires and beliefs. ALL the Op talked about was SEX, and used a passive agressing comment about her weight to offer the idea that maybe it was because she is heavier than her "sister sub" as a possible reason why he was "Doing This" I Offered other possible reasons OTHER than the simple one she offered, You offered a list of Derogatory thought about a Dominant you know nothing about because apparently you relate to the OP somehow. She looks at this process as someting her Master is doing TO her, when it is obvious that she is not TALKING to her Master otherwise she would know that at least he is aware of her perdicament and if things did not change then at least she would know that with the knowledge he still did NOTHING to address her feelings of sexual neglect. It is this process of the boards that drives me NUTS. The Us VS Them Bullshit. Check it out with what she presented on the board it is obvious of a few things. 1) Her Master does not know she is frustrated with the sexual contact she is getting because if he did she would know either why he does it with the other girl more, or she would know that he is aware and just does not care rather than speculating that it may be because she is heavier than the other sub. 2) If Her Master DOES know and things still have not changed then she already has her answer and should know that things are not going to change as if she told him and he cause things would at least change for a little while. 3) She is stuck on it must be someting WRONG with her, so I offered many reasons that the Master may not want to have a sexual relationship with her anymore and why it appears that the Sister Alpha Sub is getting all the Dick. 4) That anyone who tries to Relate to her is only Projecting thier own feelings onto her situation as we do not know the Master or the Alpha Sister involved in this and the only issue the OP posted is that they are not getting dick and that they know they weigh more than the other sub in the equasion. I am not Defending the Dom, I am however Pointing out that there are MANY MANY MANY Sides of this story that no one knows. Like Maybe this subs Pussy Stinks Like Maybe the Alpha and Master are trying to get Pregnant Like Maybe the sub is a dead fish in the sack Like Maybe the Alpha is having a hard time accpeting the new sub and communication is getting lost in the dominants attempt to smooth the sheets. Like Maybe this sub is just interested in the Drama of having people she doesn't even know tell her she should leave her master and her dicision to stay is her expressing her own dedication (I think this happens a LOT on these Boards) There are MANY MANY MANY reasons that no one here knows so it is important in my opinion to offer the sub USEFUL information not just "I know how you feel you need to leave that Bastard." Instead I believe in the giving of advice that requires them to ask questions first because without the answers to those questions making a decision would be unfare to all parties involved. Steel

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (5/31/2009 12:21:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: curioussubbie01 I am part of a poly family...it's me and my sis and my Master. Lately his sex drive is lower than norm, because of stress and other things. My sis is the Alpha, and she and I are bestfriends, she weighs a little less than I do, and my Master has been having sex with her...but not me... of course I am jealous lol, but why does he do that? This has been on more than one occasion he's done this... I dont understand it... its almost like he avoids it with me. So I guess my question to all you Doms out there with more than one sub/or slave, would you do that to them? And what might be a reason you would do that? i'm not a Domme but, if i were, i'd try to give all s-types fairly equal time unless there were a good reason not to. i'm just that way. As for why does He does that.....why don't you ask Him? Let Him know how it makes you feel and ask Him what the reasoning behind it is. With just about anything, being direct is the best way to get answers, at least with my Sir it is & He encourages it. There is no way any of U/us on these boards can know why your Master does something or His reasoning behind it...only He knows those things. Good luck.

catize -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (5/31/2009 1:56:48 PM)
quote: This is one of those times when I do believe that KoM hit the nail on the head when he said: quote: Simple answer..........HOW THE FUCK DOES COMPLETE STRANGERS KNOW WHY HE IS DOING IT WITH HER AND NOT YOU!!!! Double Ditto!

xxblushesxx -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (5/31/2009 8:39:10 PM)
Steel...ya know I lubs ya...but...Gypzi was just basically giving back as good as you gave it to the OP. It's kind of like a don't kick 'em when they're down thing, yanno? And I think Gypzi's answers were just as valid as yours. Basically, maybe yours were right, maybe hers were right, or maybe you're both just dead wrong. We have NO IDEA. But I think your answer was akin to kicking a puppy...just...not necessary, and definitely not helpful for the op.

GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (5/31/2009 8:49:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah There are MANY MANY MANY reasons that no one here knows so it is important in my opinion to offer the sub USEFUL information........... Instead I believe in the giving of advice that requires them to ask questions first Steel HOW is it useful to be told you might stink?..might be loose? might be a dud in bed..? might not finger ass? might not take it in the ass? HOW IS THAT ADVICE?? AND I posted and in a manner similar to yours.. IN RESPONSE TO YOU.....in an effort to show...what happens ( esteem ripping) when ppl speak this way and you got part of it..!!![;)] and you didn't like it...and you did say "derogatory"...but alas about what I said..about the DOM GQ

LadySweetOrSour -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (5/31/2009 9:01:16 PM)
YOu've had many possible reasons given, some positive, some not so, but why can't you ask your master? Depending on your dynamic, you could humbly ask to speak with him and ask him if you have displeased him in some way. If he asks why you say that, tell him that you're feeling a little left out and why you are feeling that way. DO NOT WHINE!!! Just tell him simply. If he is already stressed, the last thing he needs is someone whining about herself and her feelings for hours on end. If he's the type, he will tell you not what you need to hear, but what the reason is. If he doesn't wish to talk about it, then there is little you can do but wait it out until he feels like talking to you about it. If he is stressed and/or an older man, he may just not have the energy to have sex with two women and, as your sister is the alpha, she comes first (literally and figuratively[;)]). Perhaps you have become more of a service sub/slave than a sexual one. Regardless, there is nothing anyone can say that will answer your question fully. Only he can do that. We can only give suggestions and suggestions aren't much help in this case. Everyone's specualtions are just that, speculations, not answers.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (5/31/2009 9:23:23 PM)
GYPZY, Perhaps you and blushes are correct. Perhaps I am being obtuse in my Advice, perhaps you have your reasons and I know I have mine. I see day in and day out people on here taking one side of a story and copyrighting it as the Gods honest Truth. I see people offer advace that says "You need to speak to your Master" and "Run, don't walk, but Run as fast as you can.", althought not necessarily in this thread but I see it all the time. I offten wonder the advice my own girl would be given in a similar situation, it conserns me sometimes. What I offered was a gambit of suggestions that could answer the OP's answers beyond the idea that she is perhaps husky. Lets be honest I am far from fit myself, but what I always am is a realist. I have been with many women and I always had my reasons for any change in our sexual life, I also always explained it and tried to do so in a loving manner so I guess in this situation I cannot relate to this particular Dominant. I stick by my advice however and believe it is helpful. Lets be honest we all know some people are not the cleanest. Some women are not in tune to thier lovers. Some people do not understand what thier lover is looking for sexually. Some lovers do not always care. However most are more than willing to just decide it was one thing in particular. GYPZY, my only objection to your post is that you said she was looking for affection, something she NEVER mentioned, suggested or elluded to. You projected that upon her and in so enabled the behavior. Who cannot relate to wanting to be touched and caresses, but that isn't what she said what she said is he isn't having sex with her. Perhaps you combine the act of sex with affection but that isn't always the case. We all know people on these boards who are all about the act and affection isn't part of their experiment. I offered things that if you ask ANY guy who has any kind of diverse sexual history will tell you that they have come across and it was the reason things did not work out. Many a one night stand has been decided at the act of intercourse because of the above mentioned issues. However what you suggested would be good reasons for Her to stop having sex with Him, the issue in the OP is him having sex with Her. Yes until all sides of the story are gathered we all will never know so if she will not take the sensible advice and speak to him then all I can do is get her thinking about the things she can start altering and be aware of and maybe just maybe by shotgunning the trouble shooting of the sex life she might get back to a more desirable place. Again, Maybe you are both right maybe I am being Obtuse in my suggestions but I believe it is useful advice none the less. Just as every man should ask himself if his balls smell or if he has dingle berries before he wonders why the girl won't slob on his knob for hours at a time. Had the OP been Male my advice would have been the same only Male orientated. Steel

angelikaJ -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (5/31/2009 9:51:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah Okay, NO, you are PROJECTING that she wants affection as NOTHING in her original post talks about affection it talks about SEX, you Victimizer her by softening the edges of what she ACTUALLY said and putting in your own desires and beliefs. ALL the Op talked about was SEX, and used a passive agressing comment about her weight to offer the idea that maybe it was because she is heavier than her "sister sub" as a possible reason why he was "Doing This" I Offered other possible reasons OTHER than the simple one she offered, You offered a list of Derogatory thought about a Dominant you know nothing about because apparently you relate to the OP somehow. She looks at this process as someting her Master is doing TO her, when it is obvious that she is not TALKING to her Master otherwise she would know that at least he is aware of her perdicament and if things did not change then at least she would know that with the knowledge he still did NOTHING to address her feelings of sexual neglect. It is this process of the boards that drives me NUTS. The Us VS Them Bullshit. Check it out with what she presented on the board it is obvious of a few things. 1) Her Master does not know she is frustrated with the sexual contact she is getting because if he did she would know either why he does it with the other girl more, or she would know that he is aware and just does not care rather than speculating that it may be because she is heavier than the other sub. 2) If Her Master DOES know and things still have not changed then she already has her answer and should know that things are not going to change as if she told him and he cause things would at least change for a little while. 3) She is stuck on it must be someting WRONG with her, so I offered many reasons that the Master may not want to have a sexual relationship with her anymore and why it appears that the Sister Alpha Sub is getting all the Dick. 4) That anyone who tries to Relate to her is only Projecting thier own feelings onto her situation as we do not know the Master or the Alpha Sister involved in this and the only issue the OP posted is that they are not getting dick and that they know they weigh more than the other sub in the equasion. I am not Defending the Dom, I am however Pointing out that there are MANY MANY MANY Sides of this story that no one knows. Like Maybe this subs [deleted example because it is inflammatory] Like Maybe the Alpha and Master are trying to get Pregnant Like Maybe the sub [deleted example because it is inflammatory] Like Maybe the Alpha is having a hard time accpeting the new sub and communication is getting lost in the dominants attempt to smooth the sheets. Like Maybe this sub is just interested in the Drama of having people she doesn't even know tell her she should leave her master and her dicision to stay is her expressing her own dedication (I think this happens a LOT on these Boards) There are MANY MANY MANY reasons that no one here knows so it is important in my opinion to offer the sub USEFUL information not just "I know how you feel you need to leave that Bastard." Instead I believe in the giving of advice that requires them to ask questions first because without the answers to those questions making a decision would be unfare to all parties involved. Steel I also admire your posts, Steel. However, between the 2 posts of yours, you had it slanted heavily towards it being somehow the OP's fault and you expressed it in a really negative light. In doing so I think you missed the mark. If he has a problem with any of the issues you mentioned (or anything else), he should tell her and if he doesn't it is on him. She can't work on what she doesn't know any more than he can work on what he doesn't know. Communication is a two way street. I somehow can't picture you having an issue with someone living under your roof and you not voicing it. Also, if he has an issue, he is not setting a very good example in how to deal with such (and if he doesn't have an issue he doesn't seem to be communicating that either). To the OP: You aren't going to find out why he is not having sex with you this way. There is only one way to find out: Ask him. Tell him you feel jealous and left out. LadySweetOrSour already gave you a good example of how you could phrase it. An additional note to the OP-- from the outside looking in, it does seem like there are serious communication issues: your master isn't talking to you and you aren't talking to him. It is hard to maintain a relationship that way.

NihilusZero -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (5/31/2009 11:34:50 PM)
In a poly relationship where jealousy and hierarchy thoughts are not issues, a situation where the Dom has to keep an even tally of sexual escapades between all subs isn't an issue. It's quite possible the Dom may not actually think/consider anything to be wrong. There is far too little information to make any thoroughly useful divinations. If we reduce the issue to strictly a physical/carnal one, then Steel's 'possibilities' were actually useful. I mean...honestly, the only reason any of the suggestions would have been taken deeply negatively is if there was some undiscussed emotional insecurity with each aspect. Aside from the fact that they appear to be inflammatory in the surface, the are essentially either something to genuinely consider from a non-emotional stance ("hmm...maybe I do have fresh breath issues. I should carry mints and/or gum around more often, particularly if I intend to approach D during a possible playtime") or it's an issue that is just not applicable ("Well, I do take it in the ass. Quite happily. It's surely not that"). Ironically, the degree to which the OP got personally bothered by each suggestion is a covert indication that it's very likely to be one of the issues contributing to the problem. Granted, this too is just conjecture. It could be anything. The Dom and the Alpha may be aliens and have a propensity to mate more often with their own intergalactic species, for all we know.

CalifChick -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (5/31/2009 11:58:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero There is far too little information to make any thoroughly useful divinations. Ironically, the degree to which the OP got personally bothered by each suggestion is a covert indication that it's very likely to be one of the issues contributing to the problem. Granted, this too is just conjecture. First, it's completely hawt when a guy can use the word "divination" in a sentence. Oh myyy. Second, I had to go back and re-read the OP and make sure this was her only statement about appearance: *she weighs a little less than I do* Boy that statement sure got honed in on. What if she had said "she's a little shorter than I am"... would that have made a difference? Massive generalization: Women tend to blame ourselves for things when it may have absolutely NOTHING to do with us. Our guy is less talkative? It must be because he is angry with us... when in reality he is bummed because his team lost an important game. So the fact that she included the weight information suggests that she is insecure about her size. But why is that even a factor? Why jump on her insecurities by saying, "yeah, maybe it IS you"? What is the point of that? Why not just say that 100 guys may have 100 different reasons (or no reason at all) for having sex more often with one partner than another, and that the ONLY person who can answer her question is her master? Cali

GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (6/1/2009 12:14:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero If we reduce the issue to strictly a physical/carnal one, then Steel's 'possibilities' were actually useful. I mean...honestly, the only reason any of the suggestions would have been taken deeply negatively is if there was some undiscussed emotional insecurity [/quote} I feel it is never USEFUL to talk in this manner,,and they were NOT "suggestions".. but shit ball throwin' at a woman and her body...and her being Would you like to hear "you dick might be too small?" or.."your balls might stink"? or "your ass is too stretched?" or you can't get your women off?" AND....do you like destructive criticisim* of your art...??* or constructive..?? To me there was a clear anger about something else that found its way to stabbing the sub here.. Maybe a DOM can talk to his girl* like this with her consent or not ..* but to a stranger???...shitty man... as for "UNDISCUSSED emotional issues contributing to taking this negatively".. **she already alluded that she had some issues and was still shit on GQ

blankputty -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (6/1/2009 12:30:22 AM)
maybe since she was his primary he only wanted a second as a house slave and after the initial period went back to his old routine it's impossible to know without knowing the situation better but it could just be you arnt as good in bed of course if it was agreed upon beforehand that he'd train you then he should whether or not he wants to. he is your master after all and can choose to have sex with whomever he wishes if it is a skill level problem try asking him to teach you ways you could better please him. if its not worth his time to teach you then you shouldnt be there anyways.

NihilusZero -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (6/1/2009 12:56:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero There is far too little information to make any thoroughly useful divinations. Ironically, the degree to which the OP got personally bothered by each suggestion is a covert indication that it's very likely to be one of the issues contributing to the problem. Granted, this too is just conjecture. First, it's completely hawt when a guy can use the word "divination" in a sentence. Oh myyy. I've missed you too, Cali. [:D]

NihilusZero -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (6/1/2009 1:03:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick So the fact that she included the weight information suggests that she is insecure about her size. But why is that even a factor? Why jump on her insecurities by saying, "yeah, maybe it IS you"? What is the point of that? Maybe I'm analyzing to the point where I've lost emotional investment, but it doesn't strike me as a negative insult to say something might be the case. I mean, it's one thing if we presume a person wants to try and insult another (and, fairly, perhaps the OP isn't familiar enough with the boards or some of its more regular members to know the difference). I mean...it seems to me that any of the suggestion either is, in which case it's something to address...or it isn't in which case you can just shuffle the suggestion to the side. I do understand that these sort of topic can be sensitive...but the very issue she brought to the table is one that deals with a very sensitive issue. quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick Why not just say that 100 guys may have 100 different reasons (or no reason at all) for having sex more often with one partner than another, and that the ONLY person who can answer her question is her master? Cali Well, that's the ideal, yes. I mean...any suggestions are just practices in futility (which is probably why I skipped over the thread the first time).

NihilusZero -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (6/1/2009 1:16:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN I feel it is never USEFUL to talk in this manner,,and they were NOT "suggestions".. Okay, "possibilities" would have been a better choice of words. It didn't strike me that Steel was genuinely presenting them in a manner suggesting they more any more likely than, let's say, my alien hypothesis. Granted, his list did get to the worst possible scenarios...and even if any of them were true, it doesn't mean anything is really "wrong" with the OP. But, as I mentioned before, I may be too quickly dissociating the actuality of something from how it would affect the psyche of the sub. quote: ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN Would you like to hear "you dick might be too small?" or.."your balls might stink"? or "your ass is too stretched?" or you can't get your women off?" No one wants to hear these things. That doesn't mean that they're never true. Sometimes there is no gentle way to get such a point across...and it's only with that information that something can be done about it (if something can be done about it). At least 2 of your examples seem like things that can be realistically worked on. If one of those did apply to me, my time would be ill spent moping about it rather than taking steps towards fixing the issues. And if they didn't apply to me, I'd have no reason to be offended (again, though, presuming the person saying them wasn't trying to insult). quote: ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN AND....do you like destructive criticisim* of your art...??* or constructive..?? I prefer honesty. Usually when I get the impression my shit stinks (figuratively speaking), that's when I get the motivation to improve it. Then again, in such art circles, I've continuously referred to myself as a hack, so I think I leave myself plenty of leeway. [:D] quote: ORIGINAL: GYPZYQUEEN To me there was a clear anger about something else that found its way to stabbing the sub here.. Maybe a DOM can talk to his girl* like this with her consent or not ..* but to a stranger???...shitty man... as for "UNDISCUSSED emotional issues contributing to taking this negatively".. **she already alluded that she had some issues and was still shit on GQ I'm not going to say that things couldn't have been put in a smoother manner and that, because of her being a sub and having a mindset (presumably) more conducive to yearning to please her D-type, it isn't likely easier for her questions to be met with answers she'll take more personally than objectively. I'm just pointing out a subtle difference in the degree of intent behind the words and how they are applied to the issue.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (6/1/2009 6:32:52 AM)
GYPZY, You are now doing to me what you did to her. I offered concepts that May be wrong, I did not imply that she should look into these things I was simply stating a gambit of OTHER things that it could be. As for Throwing Shit Balls, it's no different than the Nasty shit that gets stated about the Dominants in these situations every day but somehow that is supposed to be different because they are Dominant and can take it. I find it odd that you seem to be defending the fact that she obviously hasn't talked to her Master yet about this which is the ONLY direct adice I believe I directed the OP directly to do. Who wants to be told thier shit stinks.... No one.... Who Should be told their shit stinks .... People whose SHIT STINKS. Lets get something straight here I have no responsibility to anyone on this board, This OP is so far removed from my life that if she is hurt by something I have said then she SERIOULSY needs to get a Thicker Skin, as the things I've said are VERY LIGHT in comparison to the things that get traded for facts about people on this board. You still seem to think I am going personal with this. I'm Not, I am still answering an Anonymous Thread about a relationship where something isn't right. With the Amount of info I have and my Access to the other people involved in this situation (The Dom and alpha sub, which I have zero access) I offered the only kind of advice I could, the kind that makes someone examine the unspoken aspects of thier relationship. No one wants to believe that they are inadequate, or lacking in desire, but some men judge thier relationships like this every day, I'm not one of them but I see it all the time. So many men have the capasity to be cruel and uncaring with those who choose to offer their hearts and since I cannot get the other two sides of the story I suggested that the OP look at all the VERY REAL POSSIBILITIES of why she isn't getting sex lately.... Which Again if you read the OP you will see that is ALL this thread is about. Not Affection, Not Love, Not Attention, but why she isn't getting any Dick Lately. If the OP wants to come back and Restate that she does want those things then my next advice will be different but from what I have as it stands from the two little paragraphs the OP offered again what I offered is as useful advice as any if she isn't going to sit down and talk to her Dom about the issue and confront it head on. Steel

colouredin -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (6/1/2009 6:57:52 AM)
Cutting the crap I want to restate what KoM said, who the heck do strangers know what your bloke wants. You need to talk to them. I would ignore the speculation on here because as is clear none of us know why, if could be anything in the world. Talk to him!

ZenDragoness -> RE: Why does my Master do this? (6/1/2009 7:09:28 AM)
quote: It's Panhellenic Syndrome. Windchymes, your PS has me laughing out loud! Am i allowed to borrow/lend it? I will tell, that it is not crafted by me! ZD

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