subs/slaves time-consuming careers

subs/slaves time-consuming careers (Full Version)

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masmiss -> subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 3:43:48 PM)
I'd like to know how more seasoned Dominants handle the issue of their subs/slaves careers taking up lots and lots of time from the D/s relationship. It's a fact of life that most subs/slaves have to work and some have careers that go beyond the 40 hour work week. Do you dismiss a sub you have a good relationship with because his work becomes the main focus of his time and therefore he has less time to devote to you?

RavenMuse -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 4:20:46 PM)
The answer is entirely dependant on the style of relationship and Dynamic. The girl I Own, My slave wether she is at home or at work she is still Mine. I make the decisions and I don't just think short term. If her career takes off and is going places then possibly a few years of working 50, 60 or even 70 hours a week maybe in her best interest so I will shape Our lives accordingly to take that into account and ensure she gets the support she needs. A playpartner however, isn't My responcibility outside the time she is with Me. If she hasn't got the time to be able to commit to meeting regularly then she is neither use nor ornimant to Me in that role. Playpartners are easy to get and easy to replace, someone compatable for being Owned is a valuable rarity. I view them accordingly. (Not to say I don't value a good playpartner but if the circumstances change and she can't fullfil that role any more then, well, she is still ONLY a playpartner and I have no responcibility beyond Our time together)

LadyHibiscus -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 4:26:52 PM)
Long work hours can make getting to KNOW a new person very problematic. Once you have that bond, I don't see why real life should get in the way of maintaining the relationship.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 4:34:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: masmiss I'd like to know how more seasoned Dominants handle the issue of their subs/slaves careers taking up lots and lots of time from the D/s relationship. It's a fact of life that most subs/slaves have to work and some have careers that go beyond the 40 hour work week. Do you dismiss a sub you have a good relationship with because his work becomes the main focus of his time and therefore he has less time to devote to you? Lemme tell you sumpin....(warning: male sub speaking) Don't know your story, don't know your gig....might be different from mine....regardless... You're a chic. (Before you spend a great deal of time explaining to me you're a Domme...."not a chic"....I get it...you're a Domme. I get it). A male subs career is big. Huge. Maybe I'm just talking for myself but....a mans career is huge. It's what he does. It's who he is. It's what he brings to the table. It's how he loves you. It's, financially, how he caresses you, dreams of you, wishes his dreams of you and he were..... It's how he see's himself. It encompasses his view of the world. Don't diminish him...just remember he's weak, he loves you, and he (likely) can't imagine a world without you. (I like that).

LadyHibiscus -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 4:36:56 PM)
Well yeah, what Lookie said, too! I wouldn't tell someone to Not Work, and I sure wouldn't ditch someone with a work ethic. Hib, who is a chick. A broad, even.

masmiss -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 4:38:19 PM)
good point, Lady H. it's still not a solid relationship.

masmiss -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 4:40:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie quote: ORIGINAL: masmiss I'd like to know how more seasoned Dominants handle the issue of their subs/slaves careers taking up lots and lots of time from the D/s relationship. It's a fact of life that most subs/slaves have to work and some have careers that go beyond the 40 hour work week. Do you dismiss a sub you have a good relationship with because his work becomes the main focus of his time and therefore he has less time to devote to you? Lemme tell you sumpin....(warning: male sub speaking) Don't know your story, don't know your gig....might be different from mine....regardless... You're a chic. (Before you spend a great deal of time explaining to me you're a Domme...."not a chic"....I get it...you're a Domme. I get it). A male subs career is big. Huge. Maybe I'm just talking for myself but....a mans career is huge. It's what he does. It's who he is. It's what he brings to the table. It's how he loves you. It's, financially, how he caresses you, dreams of you, wishes his dreams of you and he were..... It's how he see's himself. It encompasses his view of the world. Don't diminish him...just remember he's weak, he loves you, and he (likely) can't imagine a world without you. (I like that). I've lived long enough and have had enough relationships (vanilla and D/s) to know that truer words were never spoken.

AAkasha -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 4:59:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie quote: ORIGINAL: masmiss I'd like to know how more seasoned Dominants handle the issue of their subs/slaves careers taking up lots and lots of time from the D/s relationship. It's a fact of life that most subs/slaves have to work and some have careers that go beyond the 40 hour work week. Do you dismiss a sub you have a good relationship with because his work becomes the main focus of his time and therefore he has less time to devote to you? Lemme tell you sumpin....(warning: male sub speaking) Don't know your story, don't know your gig....might be different from mine....regardless... You're a chic. (Before you spend a great deal of time explaining to me you're a Domme...."not a chic"....I get it...you're a Domme. I get it). A male subs career is big. Huge. Maybe I'm just talking for myself but....a mans career is huge. It's what he does. It's who he is. It's what he brings to the table. It's how he loves you. It's, financially, how he caresses you, dreams of you, wishes his dreams of you and he were..... It's how he see's himself. It encompasses his view of the world. Don't diminish him...just remember he's weak, he loves you, and he (likely) can't imagine a world without you. (I like that). My submissive partner has a career: ME. I don't like people stating that the reality is that a man's career is "all that" and that it shapes his entire self worth. Not every man is like that. And not every couple works that way. I am happy to be the breadwinner in my relationship. I have the career, my financial success is what we rely on. His main priority is making my life run smoothly. For many years he was 100% domestic. Now he works for me part time, works for his "hobby" part time (I am not that thrilled about that, but we're figuring it out) and the rest of his time he's investing in his other hobbies which keep him well rounded. I could trade that all in for a pretty fat income if I told him to get a career; he's perfectly capable and could be working well in a variety of fields, and we'd be rolling in cash. I prefer not to trade in the luxury of having a full time cook, errand boy and boytoy. We live comfortably on my income and his part time work, while it's more a hobby, provides a little extra money; the only point of debate in our relationship is that I would prefer he did not work at all, but he enjoys his hobby and they pay him to do what he likes, so I am not going to stand in the way of that. But he only works limited hours outside of the house. I did feel, to be honest, "better taken care of" when he had ZERO job responsibilities. The bottom line is that he has a boss now that expects him some place a few days a week. It used to be that all he had to do is make sure my day was going well, because the more efficient I am, the better money I make and happier I am in my business. If he had nothing to do, he'd find things to do - fix things before they were broken, shop for things before they were running out, or drive me to meetings and wait in the car and read or anything -- literally anything he could figure out to make my day better and more comfortable. It's like having a 24/7 concierge and professional assistant. Granted, not all couples can have it this way. We don't have kids and don't plan to, and we have no debt. I also had a 10-year head start on my career, and he's naturally and happily domestic, including cooking & cleaning. If we were DINKS (double income, no kids) we'd have a maid and maybe a cook a few times a week, but there's something quite rewarding about having a man who takes care of my whims and also supports my business as a professional right-hand to me. Akasha

LadyHibiscus -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 5:03:59 PM)
The point is, Aakasha, that you did not make him quit a good and satisfying job to take care of you.

LadyConstanze -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 5:09:35 PM)
A partner who wouldn't respect my career and the time I got to spend on it would be going nowhere with me, it's only fair that I give back what I expect. I rather spend less time together but more quality time and invest in a cleaner, accountant, etc.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 5:11:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie quote: ORIGINAL: masmiss I'd like to know how more seasoned Dominants handle the issue of their subs/slaves careers taking up lots and lots of time from the D/s relationship. It's a fact of life that most subs/slaves have to work and some have careers that go beyond the 40 hour work week. Do you dismiss a sub you have a good relationship with because his work becomes the main focus of his time and therefore he has less time to devote to you? Lemme tell you sumpin....(warning: male sub speaking) Don't know your story, don't know your gig....might be different from mine....regardless... You're a chic. (Before you spend a great deal of time explaining to me you're a Domme...."not a chic"....I get it...you're a Domme. I get it). A male subs career is big. Huge. Maybe I'm just talking for myself but....a mans career is huge. It's what he does. It's who he is. It's what he brings to the table. It's how he loves you. It's, financially, how he caresses you, dreams of you, wishes his dreams of you and he were..... It's how he see's himself. It encompasses his view of the world. Don't diminish him...just remember he's weak, he loves you, and he (likely) can't imagine a world without you. (I like that). My submissive partner has a career: ME. I don't like people stating that the reality is that a man's career is "all that" and that it shapes his entire self worth. Not every man is like that. And not every couple works that way. I am happy to be the breadwinner in my relationship. I have the career, my financial success is what we rely on. His main priority is making my life run smoothly. For many years he was 100% domestic. Now he works for me part time, works for his "hobby" part time (I am not that thrilled about that, but we're figuring it out) and the rest of his time he's investing in his other hobbies which keep him well rounded. I could trade that all in for a pretty fat income if I told him to get a career; he's perfectly capable and could be working well in a variety of fields, and we'd be rolling in cash. I prefer not to trade in the luxury of having a full time cook, errand boy and boytoy. We live comfortably on my income and his part time work, while it's more a hobby, provides a little extra money; the only point of debate in our relationship is that I would prefer he did not work at all, but he enjoys his hobby and they pay him to do what he likes, so I am not going to stand in the way of that. But he only works limited hours outside of the house. I did feel, to be honest, "better taken care of" when he had ZERO job responsibilities. The bottom line is that he has a boss now that expects him some place a few days a week. It used to be that all he had to do is make sure my day was going well, because the more efficient I am, the better money I make and happier I am in my business. If he had nothing to do, he'd find things to do - fix things before they were broken, shop for things before they were running out, or drive me to meetings and wait in the car and read or anything -- literally anything he could figure out to make my day better and more comfortable. It's like having a 24/7 concierge and professional assistant. Granted, not all couples can have it this way. We don't have kids and don't plan to, and we have no debt. I also had a 10-year head start on my career, and he's naturally and happily domestic, including cooking & cleaning. If we were DINKS (double income, no kids) we'd have a maid and maybe a cook a few times a week, but there's something quite rewarding about having a man who takes care of my whims and also supports my business as a professional right-hand to me. Akasha Deal with it. It's what a guy is.

Venatrix -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 7:40:49 PM)
I prefer that my men have a demanding career, or at least lots of hobbies. Otherwise, I find them too needy. Because of my own interests, my availability is limited, so someone with a lot of time on his hands would not be a likely match. I also require a good deal of intellectual stimulation from a potential partner, and those that are best able to provide this tend to have careers that are time consuming.

AcademyForSlaves -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 8:53:43 PM)
Hi. My sub works and I don't mind his hours because he makes it up to me with all his free time off hours. When he comes home he cooks dinner for me and attends to my other needs. he also helps answer emails, does updates and uploads, packaging orders, making video clips, posting, and other stuff for our sites. After that we have fun time. This extra work after work he doesn't mind because he likes serving me and he knows that's the life of a slave. Without that we'd be in a regular relationship and that's not what we want.

AlexandraLynch -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 9:36:01 PM)
Well, since none of us are independently wealthy, we need to work. We're living in a severely economically depressed area of the country, and so any job is a good thing, and we'll work our relationships around it. What I work to try to avoid is a situation where we are expecting more time together than we're getting. This can be avoided with good communication.

PrincessDonna -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 9:46:35 PM)
The more hours a sub works the more devoted he can be when he is serving,I have had mine make sure to call to see if there was anything I needed and often ordered takeout from work to be delivered so I wouldnt have to wait dinner and Safeway delivery become a staple!I think its good for a male sub to work long hours and then have to come home and cook and clean!Lil better understanding between the sexes I think!But I do concide on small things(like GOING shopping) alas Safeway so that we are able to get right to things that need to be done at home,the longer he works the more secure I feel.

onlyfreelycaged -> RE: subs/slaves time-consuming careers (5/30/2009 10:06:12 PM)
I like it when someone works. The more they work, the better. So long as I am kept in the loop of what's going on.

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