RE: Financial Domination Fetish

RE: Financial Domination Fetish (Full Version)

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LookieNoNookie -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/19/2009 4:40:32 PM)
(I actually didn't have anything important to discuss....I just wanted to be around a bunch of Dommes.....please continue.....)

HypnoticPrincess -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/21/2009 12:16:27 PM)
I stepped away from this thread for a few days because I wanted to collect my thoughts regarding all of this. blushes came here seeking tips on how to provide better service to her clientelle. She did not come here to be told whether or not she is a legitimate dominant woman and for that matter, neither did I. On a site like Niteflirt, the only opinion that really matters is that of the person who is paying for your time. If he or she believes that you are capable of catering to their fantasy then you're as legitimate as you need to be. Whether its acting or total realism or anything in between isn't the point. Working in the adult entertainment industry can be hell or it can be fun and exciting and a great way to learn more about yourself and your sexuality all while getting paid for the experience. A lot of that has to do with making smart choices. MadamnX believes that if one identifies in their personal life as a submissive they have no buisness exploring the world of dominance and I disagree for several reasons. One is pretty basic; what you do for a living and what you do for fun is not necessarily the same thing and if you try to take something you do for fun and make it your profession, a lot of times its not so much fun anymore. You grow to resent the thing you used to enjoy more than anything else. I watched that happen to another girl on Niteflirt. She used to be the number 1 submissive PSO on that site. She was also a real time slave girl. Eventually it all got to be too much for her; she left her Master, she left her NF listings and she left that entire life behind completely. It took her quite a long time to rediscover herself and find a way to be happy. A lot of that had to do with the difference between reality and fantasy. In a real life BDSM relationship there are things that a responsible dominant will simply not require of his or her submissive whereas the fantasy of NF means that you can ask for anything, push any limit and once the call is over you hang up and walk away and there are no consequences to deal with. The submissive, on the other hand, has just endured an intense emotional and sometimes physical experience and there is no cool down time for her, there's no aftercare. I can easily see why anyone who is genuinely submissive would shy away from running a submissive listing on Niteflirt. On the other hand, being a dominatrix on Niteflirt is a great and totally safe way to explore something new, especially if you're already familiar with submission in your personal life. There's no way this guy is ever going to find you in real life unless you make that possible for him. You can try new things, see how it feels to be in control and just enjoy the interaction. Also, because you have been in his position, you will often find it easy to identify with his fantasies and desires. Some of my most fun calls were the ones where I ended up sharing stories of my personal experiences with the caller and then got to hear his stories as well. What I do is a bit different than what most NF dommes do, including those who are into financial domination because I do cater specifically to men with a fetish for hypnosis. My method is very different but the general idea is the same; guys call me looking for a specific service that I provide. If a guy calls me wanting to be overtly dominated or controlled I will explain to him what it is that I do and if he's not interested in that, I suggest the name of another NF operator who caters more to his fantasies. I do not try to be something I am not. If I don't think I can provide that service, I just tell him and let him decide whether or not he wants to continue paying me for what I can offer. Generally this earns me positive feedback because I'm open, upfront and honest. Sometimes though it gets me a new client because the guy wants to try something new and he discovers that he prefers my method to that of the other women on the site. Thats just how it goes, you know. Some people are looking for one thing. Some are looking for another. Some aren't really sure what they're looking for at all but they're willing to experiment and try new things in a safe and comfortable environment. NF isn't for everyone; anymore than being a stripper or modelling or pornography is for everyone. Its not easy to be your own boss, for one thing. Its not easy to develop the self-discipline to do your job and THEN go play or curl up and read a book or go party and hang out with your friends. Its not easy to draw the line sometimes, either. I have had a couple of clients that I felt really close to and it can really hurt when reality hits you and you have to acknowledge that this guy is married to someone else and you're just his fantasy playmate. It can be even worse when the guy wants to meet you and be your boyfriend and you have to explain to him that as much as you enjoy his company, it isn't safe or smart for you to take those kinds of risks. Anyway, blushes I hope you do well with your NF listing. Fiery, I apologize for taking so long to get to your email. I hardly ever log onto collarme and after the first week I quit looking at the emails that came to my account. I will look for and try to reply to yours though. Red, you rock my socks and yes, you knew me when ......... You've seen my transformation first hand. ;)

MadamnX -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/21/2009 3:56:41 PM)
" MadamnX believes that if one identifies in their personal life as a submissive they have no buisness exploring the world of dominance " Ah..excuse Me but I never said such a thing..I'd appreciate your not converting My words to fit your world view. ..and I'm Not apt to repeat Myself. Now if you take 1/2 of what your defining ..I would tend to agree. However if you take the six to the dozen of the other 1/2's "lesser issues" of My implications {not the greater thruth} you would see the clause "at the expense of another" which you conveniently chose not to validate. Naturally people are free to make personal choices and with that freedom to persu and explore their virtues for personal development, profit or otherwise. The lesser issue is Not "If he or she believes that you are capable of catering to their fantasy" but whether or not if your capable of delivery. If one has to come running to this board with 'Oh My gosh I don't know what to do" then obviously one is not, and had no premise for listing themself there in the first place. If you want to explore then do it on a non-professional level..not by embezzlement. And incidentally, you just contradicted yourself here when refering: "I watched that happen to another girl on Niteflirt. She used to be the number 1 submissive PSO on that site. She was also a real time slave girl. Eventually it all got to be too much for her; she left her Master, she left her NF listings and she left that entire life behind completely. It took her quite a long time to rediscover herself and find a way to be happy. A lot of that had to do with the difference between reality and fantasy. In a real life BDSM relationship there are things that a responsible dominant will simply not require of his or her submissive whereas the fantasy of NF means that you can ask for anything, push any limit and once the call is over you hang up and walk away and there are no consequences to deal with. " Unfortunately, there Are consequences to all that W/we do, it coincide's with the universal law of cause and effect. Just because something is "labled" as Fantasy doesn't make it any less real. What you can so conveniently hang-up and walk away from is not the Responsibility found amiss Dominants - it also doesn't mean the consequnce of your action or effect of it on the receiver does not exist..if repressed it will manifest indirectly in other area's of one's life. Surely you must understand this being a hypnotist? {So now W/we just came full circle back to the matter of self-deception}

Racquelle -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/21/2009 4:18:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadamnX Ah..excuse Me but I never said such a thing.. She is not claiming it to be a direct quote. She is looking at much of what you have said, and making a statement about what she believes you have communicated. You have spoken of a "fabricated" identity, and I find that laughable. In all the good and bad ways, your photo is a caricature, and your profile is clearly crafted. You weren't born into a sleek swath of latex and leather anymore than the rest of us. If you can't see that what you do, is at least in part, adopting a persona, you are sadly deluded. Your adopted persona is no more or less valid than the next person's. Domination is as domination does, and if an NF caller wants to talk to a female who bilks him for money and then shames him for it, whomever is providing that service fits the definition. Would you consider it constructive if I corrected the grammar in your posts and profile? Because "your" when you mean "you're" and the use of the possessive form when you mean the plural form annoys me.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/21/2009 5:00:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadamnX " MadamnX believes that if one identifies in their personal life as a submissive they have no buisness exploring the world of dominance " Ah..excuse Me but I never said such a thing..I'd appreciate your not converting My words to fit your world view. I call bullshit. You said, and I quote: quote: quote: ORIGINAL: xxxblushesxxx "I guess i'm just going to have to remove my listing" BINGO ! This annoys the hell out of Me..what in the world were you thinking? ! to list yourself as a Financial Domme when in fact your a sub ! Leave the slot for the "real' take charge Domme's that know what in the hell it is their doing. {Emphasis mine.} It's one thing to use a content photo because your smart , have the skills but don't look like much - but to All Out Fabricate a listing is just plainWrong. It's also discrediting N.F. which sucks because N.F. is the most legtimate phone service out there and with "real" Dominant Woman providing a legitimate Phone Listing. You did, in fact, say neither blushes nor any other woman who considers herself submissive should be exploring dominance and blushes should remove her listing because, in your words it discredits NiteFlirt because it discredits the "real" dominant women on the site. First, you, MadamnX, are a liar. I'm sure you'll try to pretend I'm twisting what you say and perhaps you'll succeed in fooling yourself, but the reality is that I've done nothing more than quote you. You can't escape the facts but it will be entertaining to see you wriggle on the hook. I'm sadistic like that. Second, IMO, it is you who discredit dominant women, like myself, who are secure enough in our positions to recognize that a submissive woman, or any other sort of woman, who is providing a service is not a threat to our position as a dominant. You also disgrace the position of dominant by your inability or unwillingness to admit that you are in the wrong and apologize for your rudeness. By your refusal, you show yourself to be both arrogant and incompetent. Perhaps you should get out of the dominance game and leave it to those of us who know what we're doing. Third, it could be considered a form of service for a submissive woman to cater to a man's fantasy. Even if that fantasy is that she is dominating him. Or it could be a service to her Master to help provide a stable income for the household. Either way, she is still submitting. There's nothing phony about that. And finally, many people come to the board to learn and explore other types of erotic fetish activities. It's no shame to ask for help when first delving into an area in which one has only minimal experience. That is what blushes did and, fortunately, there was a kind and generous young lady with experience in the activity who was willing to offer helpful suggestions. That's certainly more than you've done. Edited for typos.

MadamnX -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/21/2009 5:41:53 PM)
"your photo is a caricature" Actually miss , this specific photo of Myself is AS IS. I did Absolutely Not one thing to it ! But you can not conceive of this because it's the result of a near complete nocturnal existence which I'm certain you have no familiarality with what so ever , therefore to you it appears as caricatured. I would dare you to say anything to My face..one look at Me would scare the sh*t out of you! Go lay back down in your pasture of lambs. you Bore Me. Infact this thread is going nowhere because everyone wants to be right instead of validating each others imput and comprimising at least on the dis-agreement. Frankly it's a matter for discernment which would realistically take years to discern. Instead this thread consist of a bunch of adolescence back-stabing groupies defending one another because they have no weight to prove it's coarse to a sufficient claim because their experience amounts to null. So they slander, attack characture, and a persons physique thinking it's a contest on who can be the most verbally abusive. It's infantile..childs play. I refuse to throw pearls to swine. I'm not accustomed to converse on an emotional level..I prefer an intellectual approach so I'll exit this board and leave My imput to clients who prove worthy of it. This is just a complete waste of My time.

Racquelle -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/21/2009 11:30:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadamnX "your photo is a caricature" Actually miss , this specific photo of Myself is AS IS. I did Absolutely Not one thing to it ! I didn't suggest it wan an adulterated photograph. Your apperance is that of an Eric Stanton cartoon. quote: ORIGINAL: MadamnX But you can not conceive of this because it's the result of a near complete nocturnal existence which I'm certain you have no familiarality with what so ever , therefore to you it appears as caricatured. I would dare you to say anything to My face..one look at Me would scare the sht out of you! Go lay back down in your pasture of lambs. you Bore Me. Yes, of course, you're the first pale skinned dungeon maven I have ever seen. And I am soooooo scared, I would never talk to someone like you. Come to my play spaces and let me show you how much you terrify me. quote:* ORIGINAL: MadamnX Infact this thread is going nowhere because everyone wants to be right instead of validating each others imput and comprimising at least on the dis-agreement. Frankly it's a matter for discernment which would realistically take years to discern. Says the one who declared her opinions to be absolute truth. quote: ORIGINAL: MadamnX So they slander, attack characture, and a persons physique thinking it's a contest on who can be the most verbally abusive. It's infantile..childs play. I refuse to throw pearls to swine. Pot, meet kettle.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/22/2009 9:46:25 PM)
Erm...Gosh....I had NO IDEA this thread would cause this kind of reaction. (I think I may have to thank MX for keeping this going, if not for helping me with my original question) HP, you are adorable! Thank you so much for your help! Finding out you're a friend of Red's is just the icing on the cake...what a sweetheart he is! MX...I don't know where to start with you...I'm sorry if you think I'm not photogenic enough to be a domme...I play a lot of characters, some are dommes. I cannot play ALL characters with just my own pictures, so yes, I sometimes use content. I'm also not nearly as young as my voice sounds...so...I play younger people. I definitely do play domme characters. They are my favorites. They are the easiest to play over the phone. (I know this is not real life and I am not saying that in real life it's easier to be a domme.) Judging by the length of my calls and my feedback, I do well. Judging by my newly well-fed bank account, I do very well. (of course, I also have princesses, sluts and subs...) If anyone has any advice regarding the topic of this discussion (financial domination) please feel free to share. ~Christina (I am not a Domme' in real life, but I can play one on the phone...and in real life if required. My voice changes, my movements change...and I do "become" that person I'm playing...)

AAkasha -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/23/2009 7:58:57 AM)
HP - I guess where I find the disconnect here is with regards to honesty and integrity. There are many times that I think I could be a much more "effective" and mind-blowing femdom if I was less honest and more manipulative. I just can't go there. The OP goes so far as to have fake photos on her phone operator advertisement and play the role of femdom when it's not who she is; ok, I can understand that it's buyer beware, and when a guy dials a number, on some level he should be smart enough to know he is paying for "telephone fantasy" or entertainment. But having someone else's picture up and talking about things you don't even do in real life to me seems unethical. I wonder how many guys don't care, vs. how many would be sad to know the femdom they were getting a crush on wasn't the lady they were talking to. This is where I wonder - hell, maybe I am just TOO ethical for my own good. As I said - buyer beware, right? Is it safe to assume, then, your photo in your profile is not real, either? And that's perfetly ok, right? And HP - you say you hypnotize men to "fall in love" with you? How ethical is that? A broken heart is a very sad thing. What happens after they fall in love? What kind of men does this attract - I think, the most vulnerable. Those that seem power exchange are one thing - those that seek a cure to loneliness by paying by the minute and believe they can fall in love - something very cherished - in a quick and easy way - have to end up broken hearted down the road. I guess I'm old fashioned. There are days that I think I could build a femdom empire, live like a Goddess and have men falling at my feet and be swimming in gifts and cash if I just lowered my ethics a tad -- and rationalize that, hey, buyer beware - it's all fantasy, that's just fine, right? I just can't bring myself to do that. Akasha

xxblushesxx -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/23/2009 8:15:40 AM)
Most of the content used is used over and over. There are webcam girls available for the men who want to know for sure that the person they are talking to is who they are looking at (although some people have found ways to get around that!) Telephone "actresses" CAN'T do all of the things that we are expected to do...people call my sub line and have me abuse and torture myself so bad that I would not be able to take any other calls if I really did those things. What they want is the reaction, the stories I tell, and the fantasy. When they want "real" they call their wives... Annnnywayyyy....the original question was about financial domination. Ideas anyone? lol Thanks! ~Christina

lobodomslavery -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/23/2009 8:35:41 AM)
does Mistress have right to control slave's money too? kevin

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/23/2009 8:54:38 AM)
Good morning Lady's,We have a subbie friend with a voice Sweet as honey that uses niteflirt and she makes her living from that and another site...Her listing is sub but receives tons of calls, Diane uses NF as well and to be honest this ol' man has a listing as well..When I can't sleep late at night I turn it on for interment ,many call and the topic of conversation always ends up with them wanting to know how I got into bdsm...l Iead them to talking about them selfs for as you all know most us love to talk about our selfs.I charge 2.25 a minute which I figure is cheap to pass on my insight into bdsm....With web cam its 3.99 with a 10 minute minum..bounty

PeonForHer -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/23/2009 3:03:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha HP - I guess where I find the disconnect here is with regards to honesty and integrity. There are many times that I think I could be a much more "effective" and mind-blowing femdom if I was less honest and more manipulative. I just can't go there. The OP goes so far as to have fake photos on her phone operator advertisement and play the role of femdom when it's not who she is; ok, I can understand that it's buyer beware, and when a guy dials a number, on some level he should be smart enough to know he is paying for "telephone fantasy" or entertainment. But having someone else's picture up and talking about things you don't even do in real life to me seems unethical. I wonder how many guys don't care, vs. how many would be sad to know the femdom they were getting a crush on wasn't the lady they were talking to. This is where I wonder - hell, maybe I am just TOO ethical for my own good. As I said - buyer beware, right? Is it safe to assume, then, your photo in your profile is not real, either? And that's perfetly ok, right? And HP - you say you hypnotize men to "fall in love" with you? How ethical is that? A broken heart is a very sad thing. What happens after they fall in love? What kind of men does this attract - I think, the most vulnerable. Those that seem power exchange are one thing - those that seek a cure to loneliness by paying by the minute and believe they can fall in love - something very cherished - in a quick and easy way - have to end up broken hearted down the road. I guess I'm old fashioned. There are days that I think I could build a femdom empire, live like a Goddess and have men falling at my feet and be swimming in gifts and cash if I just lowered my ethics a tad -- and rationalize that, hey, buyer beware - it's all fantasy, that's just fine, right? I just can't bring myself to do that. Akasha That all resonates for me, A, at a distance, as it were. If I were the sort who enjoyed phoning such lines, I'd like to think that the woman I was talking to was a dominant and not just someone acting as a dominant. But the thing is, I'd know, deep down, that she could be anything at all. She could be an old, vanilla lady - or even (given a bit of voice-changing technology) a man. It's a made-up, fantasy world. It's not real. It's very, very much not real. To me, this is like gambling or drinking. There are those who have their drives under control and there are those who are addicted. If I were the first sort, I'd phone up and hope for a skilled act from an artist. I wouldn't care what her real inclinations were but for the sake of authenticity I'd hope she'd keep quiet about them if they didn't 'fit' with mine. If I were the second sort . . . well, in the wrong hands, I'd be exploited and the person who was exploiting me - if she knew what type I was - would indeed be scum who had no moral defence that was worth a damn. Ethically speaking, she or he would be pretty much the same as a crack dealer to me. But I'm assuming that only a rare few are like that and that at least some of those who claim to be such consummate exploiters are BSing for the effect.

Politesub53 -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/23/2009 3:30:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha But having someone else's picture up and talking about things you don't even do in real life to me seems unethical. I wonder how many guys don't care, vs. how many would be sad to know the femdom they were getting a crush on wasn't the lady they were talking to. I would think very few guys are stupid enough to think the lady in the photo, is the one you are talking to. Some men may hope it is, but most are realistic enough to know it is someone who is just the other half of the fantasy. She is probably wondering what to cook for dinner, when hubby gets home. Its just as unlikely as the sexy model in the phone sex add being on the other end of the line. The looks dont really matter, only the illusion.

AAkasha -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/23/2009 3:55:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Politesub53 quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha But having someone else's picture up and talking about things you don't even do in real life to me seems unethical. I wonder how many guys don't care, vs. how many would be sad to know the femdom they were getting a crush on wasn't the lady they were talking to. I would think very few guys are stupid enough to think the lady in the photo, is the one you are talking to. Some men may hope it is, but most are realistic enough to know it is someone who is just the other half of the fantasy. She is probably wondering what to cook for dinner, when hubby gets home. Its just as unlikely as the sexy model in the phone sex add being on the other end of the line. The looks dont really matter, only the illusion. I missed the boat entirely, then. Long ago I should have hired a model to be "me" on my web site and fabricated an extremely erotic and sexy visual side to my web site, which strives to be authentic; I've always known men are more visual creatures,but I figured when it comes to understanding female dominance as well as getting off on it, they'd want the real thing rather than an actress. I also need to re-think my reluctance about creating a "fake gay male top" persona and picking up really sexy gay bottoms for phone/webcam play where I send them toys and cash and become their "sugar daddy" in exchange for their nasty submission to me -- so what if I am female, right, it's all fantasy? Akasha

Politesub53 -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/23/2009 4:04:39 PM)
Since we are talking about Nite Flirt and phone sex, I stand by my comments. I would think there are tons of fake photos and Ids on NF. Your web site is different, as thats specific to you.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/23/2009 4:18:00 PM)
Hi Akasha, HypnoticPrincess and I were talking offline yesterday about some of the points you just brought up in your post today, so I think what you said is very much on point, though I don't agree with all your positions. I don't know whether HP will return to the thread, but here's my two cents. First, the pic on HP's profile (and the others on her web site) are really her. Before she did her current thing, she ran a few "content" profiles. In fact, one of them had my last name, because she liked my name and asked if she could name one of her characters after me. I said yes, so I was the godfather of a phone sex character for a while. That profile is retired now, though. Second, she told me -- and I agreed -- that blushes should use her own pics. Blushes looks great, and from a purely practical point of view, she would be able to charge more and maintain a more loyal customer base, because she would literally be less fake and more real. Very similar to a point you are making. Once HypnoticPrincess started just "being herself," her results improved dramatically, and they weren't lousy to start out. Third, in terms of my actions, I am probably more anti-fantasy-making than most people -- including perhaps you -- because I don't own a television, and I don't read fiction, much less pay for phone sex. However, I don't see any real difference between playing an online role playing game or calling a phone sex line, except that the second one is For Adults Only. So I don't understand why people get bent out of shape by this sort of thing when they care about TV characters or stand in line at Borders for the next sequel in their favorite series.

AAkasha -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/23/2009 5:09:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Third, in terms of my actions, I am probably more anti-fantasy-making than most people -- including perhaps you -- because I don't own a television, and I don't read fiction, much less pay for phone sex. However, I don't see any real difference between playing an online role playing game or calling a phone sex line, except that the second one is For Adults Only. So I don't understand why people get bent out of shape by this sort of thing when they care about TV characters or stand in line at Borders for the next sequel in their favorite series. It really comes down to the honesty and integrity people have for their actions. I personally don't feel right about claiming someone's picture is me in order to create fantasy fulfillment and charge money for it, I think that's selling a false bill of goods. Apparently though the men who use these services accept that it is fantasy and if they assume that they probably are not talking to the woman on the cam or in the picture, that's fine. I have a tough time with the ethics around HP's pitch of "hypnotizing men to fall in love with her." Love is a very personal and very powerful thing for many people. Preying on the desperate need to be loved, for financial game, is dicey to me. Breeding and encouraging infatuation or love seems like a very difficult ethical tightrope to walk, since "being in love" means different things to different people, and for some men, the end results could be severely traumatic. I can imagine the number of disclaimers she must have to put up if she is doing this ethically. I'd still worry about the guys that ignore it though and just want relief from loneliness. And who are we to believe with regards to whose pic is real if the woman claims that it's just fine to put up a fake picture to promote business? How do you start to differentiate between the real person and the fantasy person? Who is the woman that these men are being hypnotized to fall in love with, the real person or the fantasy person? How can a fantasy person reciprocate love? Akasha

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/23/2009 5:16:08 PM)
Okay, this thread seems to have meandered into some strange side area. We were talking about PHONE DOMINATION, right? Otherwise known as pay-to-wank? The men call, and cough up money to have someone enhance and/or accept their "dark side". Validation isn't free for those who won't leave their homes, evidently. Since this is all in the realm of FANTASY, what is the issue of using the photo of a beautiful model to push the fantasy along? None of these folks are EVER going to meet in person. There is no interchange here that is not financially driven---they are PAYING to get what they want. Those women who are most skilled at fantasy fulfillment make the most money. Isn't that some kind of Econ 101 thing? So, what's the problem here? I think all parties know that MsHotChick is not really breathing into her phone dressed in stilettos. Why ruin that image?

Politesub53 -> RE: Financial Domination Fetish (6/24/2009 2:16:10 AM)
Hello Lady H, That is the point I was trying to make and by the same token many of the "Submissive" men phoning an online Dominatrix, wont actually be submissive. Some will be just in from the pub, some students, some lonely, some curious and some will indeed be submissive. On a side note, please dont tell me you are not MissHotchick. [8D]

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