Have You ever met people from outside Collarme

Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

lobodomslavery -> Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (5/31/2009 8:35:32 AM)
Just a question id like feedback on. Have You ever met subs from outside Collarme? And secondly if You have, how did they tell that You were Dominant? i suppose what im really asking is when You go out on socials, do You dress in a manner to make it clear that Your Dominant or do you just dress casually to make it unclear. Do You like being mysterious at times or Are You the plain clear obvious Domme that no sub or man would have any doubt whatsoever about Your orientation kevin

flowerchicknz -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (5/31/2009 8:19:00 PM)
I like to appear vanilla around strangers. And I switch, so I'm not to sure if I'm your demographic. I definitely like to keep both lifestyles separate with a air of mystery. I do like to dress up in fetishwear, but only with people I trust. And a lot of clothes are dual purpose, the only difference between a Dommes corset and subbies one is which end of the leash is pointing towards it.

onlyfreelycaged -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (5/31/2009 11:15:15 PM)
yes, I've meet lots of people outside of collarme.com. Normally, I know because I'm told when introduced... or I figure it out from conversation, or I ask if I really want to know. from my experience, there is no difference in how I treat someone based on being Dom/sub/switch (or however else they choose to label them selves). Just be respectful.

GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (5/31/2009 11:59:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery You dress in a manner to make it clear that Your Dominant or do you just dress casually to make it unclear. *Dressing casually does NOT make it unclear.. and dressing HOW.....??to make it clear..?/** The fem DOM movie thing??..assumptions from dress are not always correct... IF you mean at BDSM gatherings...it is again mannerisms and demeanor that tells most of it........ A DOMME friend of mine is always in camo...I am always ethnic.. another I know is in business suits..and another looks like a PTA mom...with red ponytails.. I have met subs outside of CM..yes... One is a cafe last month a man who worked there...said "Hay I bet you're DOM... I said "Why?" HE said "cause when you come in here you take over and I remember one day you solved the problem about NO pumpkin pie and made a guy go to the store to get some" adn I met 2 on a dating site.PLENTY of FISH by having little clues in my interests... and a few times...at gatherings( not BDSM) I have said "Maybe you need a good spanking" and was called later or asked about it It is usually fairly clear when a take charge woman is around.. watch her..listen... GQ

LadyPact -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 1:34:30 AM)
I love wearing the fetish wear, but it's not the clothes. It's something people just sense about Me. It's especially true if I'm in top space, like I'm in now. It draws males in for some reason. It's just something that happens.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 6:27:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery Just a question id like feedback on. Have You ever met subs from outside Collarme? And secondly if You have, how did they tell that You were Dominant? i suppose what im really asking is when You go out on socials, do You dress in a manner to make it clear that Your Dominant or do you just dress casually to make it unclear. Do You like being mysterious at times or Are You the plain clear obvious Domme that no sub or man would have any doubt whatsoever about Your orientation kevin I've met -most of the people that I've entered into authority-transfer relationships with outside of CM. I've met a couple of people from here, but most of our companions have been nurtured from offline encounters. When I go to social events, including munches, I dress in what is normal/natural for me. I don't think that there is a specific way of dressing that says "dominant" unless you're looking for the leather bustier, stilettos, and a whip hanging off the hip -- but then again, that could just be -Catwoman-. I make sure that I am tidy and clean, and that my clothing is attractive and discrete. Aside from that, I don't make any special forays into appearing a certain way. I allow conversation and time to present the person that I am. I -am-, however, wearing a lot more Steampunk-oriented items -- which has only a little to do with my "orientation", as I am gravitating towards a Victorian-style life, and much more to do with the fact that I have two adult offspring who now create Steampunk accessories and Victoriandustrial clothing. Dame Calla

LaTigresse -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 6:44:35 AM)
I dress however I want, as it fits the activity, climate and location. Not in a costume. I was told I was a kinky dominant woman, before I knew what that meant. Aside from the fact that I have always been a kinky dominant woman! It is my personality. Some people are drawn to it, others are annoyed or put off. It is who we are, not a costume.

GreedyTop -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 6:48:21 AM)
most of the dominant women I know could be wearing ratty track suits, covered in paint or oil splotches, and STILL project their dominant personalities because it is an innate part of the person they are. Clothing has NOTHING to do with it.

colouredin -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 6:51:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop most of the dominant women I know could be wearing ratty track suits, covered in paint or oil splotches, and STILL project their dominant personalities because it is an innate part of the person they are. Clothing has NOTHING to do with it. nods

LadyConstanze -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 6:55:32 AM)
I met more people not form CM than from CM and if they were submissive, they could tell. At munches I am not dressed in fetish wear as they tend to be in vanilla environments and I would consider it a bit strange to show up dressed the same way as I would be for a fetish party. At fetish parties I usually wear leather, I don't have a scarlet D on my clothing or my forehead, I also don't give a "secret domme handshake", anybody I encounter I usually talk to in the same way I would talk to others, just chat and be generally friendly, because somebody might be submissive doesn't mean he's "my" submissive and I would consider it rather rude to order the submissive of another dominant around. Though there were a couple of funny or not so funny incidents at fetish parties, guys who assumed that because I was wearing boots they could take the liberty of kneeling down and worshipping my boots without the courtesy of asking first, or male dominants who tried to ask my partner for permission to play with me, assuming that "all females are submissive" - one of them pushed it a bit too far and tried to physically drag me off, I was forced to grab his thumb and twist it in the wrong direction to make him understand the error of his ways, by that time I was so freaking angry with his presumption and rudeness, that I tickled him under the chin while he was on his knees and said "My, don't you look cute kneeling?"

kttqnp -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 6:57:26 AM)
I do actual physical work for a living, with mostly men, and wear steel-toed work boots and jeans. I'm in charge and I don't take any crap. Maybe that's why they keep asking me to spank them.

TwoNYCDommes -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 7:28:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery Have You ever met subs from outside Collarme? Of course. quote: ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery And secondly if You have, how did they tell that You were Dominant? The only way to be sure is to have an actual conversation about it. What "clues" might be exchanged to lead to such conversations vary. quote: ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery i suppose what im really asking is when You go out on socials, do You dress in a manner to make it clear that Your Dominant or do you just dress casually to make it unclear. I'm not sure how one's manner of dress would indicate such. What one perceives as dominant or submissive attire seems to vary quite a bit from person to person. One sub male friend of mine had a habit of declaring from time to time that random women he saw were dominant, and when we looked into his reasons for this, we determined that it actually meant simply that he found them attractive, and thus wanted them to be dommes. What another sub male friend considers to be the ultimate in dominant attire is basically what most secretaries are required to wear to work. Your post suggests that you don't see casual attire as dominant, but I know others who feel the opposite--some who feel particularly submissive when required to dress in some certain way while the dominant expresses her freedom by wearing whatever she wants. It varies too much for there to be any guidelines. Out of curiosity, do you attempt to dress as submissive when you go out socially? If so, what clothing do you choose for that purpose? quote: ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery Do You like being mysterious at times or Are You the plain clear obvious Domme that no sub or man would have any doubt whatsoever about Your orientation It's not about being deliberately mysterious or obvious. The clues that might make one person think someone is dominant might mean something completely different in fact, and might be interpreted in yet another way by a third party. For example, I recall someone describing how he used to always be drawn to bitchy vanilla women, because the way they acted made him suspect they might be dominant, but unfortunately did not really indicate that at all. [edited to correct typos]

MsDDom -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 7:42:45 AM)
I am myself...a Dominant Woman. I don't dress a specific way as to set me apart from the crowd. More often than none, when I speak, that is when submissive men pick up on the "Me I am". With that said, I am not dropping hints or whispering "BDSM" as I speak. I merely socially interacting... In private conversation is when I am asked...

Andalusite -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 8:33:58 AM)
I'd be really offended if my co-workers were asking me to spank them, or otherwise hitting on me. Don't encourage lobodomslave to go that route - he was fired from his last job for behaving and talking inappropriately already. I have met past boyfriends and dates in vanilla circumstances. Usually I don't dress in a way that indicates anything about my BDSM inclinations, but I brought it up around the third date. Some had already been interested, but hadn't had a chance to get into a kinky relationship, others were kinky already, others were vanilla but openminded. Since I'm a switch, they've been from the entire spectrum of BDSM-oriented roles (Top, bottom, switch, Dominant, and submissive). I haven't had anyone freak out over it or refuse to date me due to it.

MsDDom -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 8:46:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Andalusite I'd be really offended if my co-workers were asking me to spank them, or otherwise hitting on me. Don't encourage lobodomslave to go that route - he was fired from his last job for behaving and talking inappropriately already. ...as you should be offended. If you are living the lifestyle 24/7, functioning in corporate america or in vanilla society is still a no "no brainer", IMO. One should not feel they have to walk around w/ a badge stating "Into BDSM"...I still believe that there are subtle nuances for others to recognize. A sub told me that is how he analyzes Dominant Women out in vanilla...he has his subtle acts that he hopes will catch the eye of a Dominant Woman. No one is encouraging someone to do anything that will compromise common sense...at least I would hope they would not.

lobodomslavery -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 8:55:35 AM)
no i dont dress particularly submissively unless slacks and a shirt is submissive. im liking this debate its fiery and passionate. i like heated debate kevin

Andalusite -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 8:58:53 AM)
I'm sorry MsD, I meant to direct that to kttqnp, who said that her co-workers ask her to spank them, since she wears work boots and acts tough.

kttqnp -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 9:19:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Andalusite I'm sorry MsD, I meant to direct that to kttqnp, who said that her co-workers ask her to spank them, since she wears work boots and acts tough. My co-workers do not offend me at all; we get along just fine and everyone understands the spirit in which their remarks are intended. We have a great deal of fun and that is how the "spanking" comments are offered.....

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 9:24:28 AM)
Fun is great for those of us who know where the boundaries are... Kevin has some issues in that regard. I dress according to the occasion. My clothing does not make me dominant. If it did, wouldn't I stop being dominant when I was naked?

GreedyTop -> RE: Have You ever met people from outside Collarme (6/1/2009 9:37:15 AM)
ponders Francine nekkid :: THUD::

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875