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sunshinemiss -> RE: Are YOU an asshole? (6/2/2009 4:18:00 AM)
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Good morning kinksters,
Am I an asshole? No. Do I sometimes act like an asshole? Yes. We all do.
Fear, anger, sadness - they all create behaviors that are asshole-esque in their manifestations. (I know, who really wanted an intellectual diatribe here, but you all know it's my way to deconstruct something silly to find some deep meaningful thoughts. Just call me Jack Handy)
There are people who have allowed their pain and hurt feelings to become the main expression of all their feelings - it has become habit for them. They hide and hide and lash out for fear of being hurt. Sometimes these people need medications for one reason or another. I know I do. It is at times a bio-chemical experience. But often it is a fear-laced reaction to a fantasy or a memory.
There are times we have all been jerk, creeps, assholes, idiots - whatever the term. The question can then lead to this one... Are you generally an asshole? So often I think I'm not a good friend, I'm not a good listener, I'm not a good support to those I care for. I'm too caught up in my own egocentric world. *Aren't most of us to some degree or another?* And then on occasion, I'm reminded that in the end you reap what you sow. Those who sow love and acceptance generally... those people will receive love and acceptance even in the midst of their asshole-dom. And those who sow fear and hatred, will reap... well I'm not sure, but it ain't perty.
I've forgotten that I've sown love and acceptance for a long time. Every garden needs a little manure to make it work right. Thank you for all the beautiful flowers who bring me love and light in my little garden even though I've been a right asshole recently.
hugs,
sunny
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