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Upset Slave - 6/1/2009 3:40:27 AM   
MSGoodness


Posts: 11
Joined: 7/20/2005
Status: offline 		I have a Question for the Domme here....

Have there been Time you Upset your Slave to a Point they Didn't want to talk to You. Because of Something Silly....





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RE: Upset Slave - 6/1/2009 4:34:22 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Not a Domme, but I cant help but think if another person doesnt want to talk to you because of something that you have done then they do not think that it is silly.

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RE: Upset Slave - 6/1/2009 5:11:31 AM   
MSGoodness


Posts: 11
Joined: 7/20/2005
Status: offline 		Good POINT!!!!

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RE: Upset Slave - 6/1/2009 5:20:37 AM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		Of course I have. I didnt even realize I had done anything, and Fox as very upset and didnt want to talk about it because he didnt want to get even more upset bringing it up. Whether or not I thought it was silly or upsetting doesnt matter, he did.

DV


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Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



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RE: Upset Slave - 6/1/2009 5:37:58 AM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		Given that a slave is human at the core, they would still be prone to normal human reaction and, to them, it may not be 'silly'. What if they perceive that one issue as perhaps indicative of a (potentially) larger trend?
 
When little things upset me, I don't internalize. When really BIG things upset me however, I'm silent for  a few days so I can 'percolate' and figure out how best to express it in a calm, non-confrontational way. People rarely listen when any message is delivered at rock-concert volume as they are too busy being defensive or running for cover.



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RE: Upset Slave - 6/1/2009 5:40:31 AM   
MSGoodness


Posts: 11
Joined: 7/20/2005
Status: offline 		What did you Do? How did you Fix it

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RE: Upset Slave - 6/1/2009 5:57:52 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Make sure you are calm, and that you are in a place to remain calm.  Make sure that you are able to assure your slave that it is safe for them to talk to you.   reassure them that it is safe.  be prepared to LISTEN and HEAR what they are saying.  Obviously, if they are upset it MATTERS tio them so do not in anyway dismiss or belittle them or their feelings.   

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RE: Upset Slave - 6/1/2009 6:29:54 AM   
MSGoodness


Posts: 11
Joined: 7/20/2005
Status: offline


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Make sure you are calm, and that you are in a place to remain calm.  Make sure that you are able to assure your slave that it is safe for them to talk to you.   reassure them that it is safe.  be prepared to LISTEN and HEAR what they are saying.  Obviously, if they are upset it MATTERS tio them so do not in anyway dismiss or belittle them or their feelings.   




Point Taken

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RE: Upset Slave - 6/1/2009 7:35:41 AM   
MsDDom


Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline 		no...b/c communication is very important to me. even if very upset (be it Me or my slave), we are going to talk about it. no matter how one feels, they should also know that they can comfortably talk about what is bothering them. a slave once said they did not want to speak about "ills" b/c they did want to lose their Mistress...but, b/c they did not, they became miserable.

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RE: Upset Slave - 6/1/2009 7:43:26 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Have there been Time you Upset your Slave to a Point they Didn't want to talk to You. Because of Something Silly..


Yes, his finances were in a shambles (and still are) I tried to teach him how to budget and save money. Finances had been a hard limit, VERY hard. Like most men he wanted to keep control of his money, I only wanted him to learn to budget and so I put a plan into effect. Well he did not like having to take his lunch to work or carpooling  and not being able to buy the newest video game as soon as it hit the marketplace. His task was to try and save $20-40 per week. I thought that a good starting point for him.

He did very well at the beginning but the first time he faltered and I asked how it was going he blew up on me, saying his finances were a hard limit once more. When I inquired as to why he was so angry at me, he refused to talk to me and ignored my text messages to him. In the last one I sent him I stated "If you want to ignore me that is of course your choice but if I don't hear from you in 24 hours you can permanently lose my phone number". I heard from him in about 10 seconds of having sent that message.

His finances are still a mess but at least now he pays his bills on time. Whatever is left he spends. I have come to the conclusion that some people just cannot save money (his entire family is this way) it just isn't in their DNA.

~Lashra


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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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