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OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/2/2009 8:00:24 PM   
LookieNoNookie


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A friend of mine just sent this to me....

(This is gold!!!!!)....

"always  keep several get well cards on  the  mantle... so  if unexpected  guests  arrive, they  will  think you've been sick and  unable to clean."

(As a single guy....I fucking LOVE this!!!!!)

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/2/2009 8:12:09 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie


A friend of mine just sent this to me....

(This is gold!!!!!)....

"always  keep several get well cards on  the  mantle... so  if unexpected  guests  arrive, they  will  think you've been sick and  unable to clean."

(As a single guy....I fucking LOVE this!!!!!)




Get-well cards cost money. Far cheaper just to never let any guests in the house to begin with. What the fuck do they want here, anyway? Don't they have their own houses to hang around in? To hell with 'em.


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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/2/2009 8:37:37 PM   
intenze


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Status: offline 		Ditto Panda!

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/2/2009 8:38:58 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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Status: offline 		I love you, Panda.  I used to love Lookie, too, but he got on my nerves, with the card shopping.

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/2/2009 9:18:25 PM   
igor2003


Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I gotta go with Panda on this one. If I kept get well cards on the mantle (or anywhere else) my friends would have to blow the dust off of them to read them! BUSTED! Far easier just to keep the door locked and go visit THEIR dirty house once in a while!

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/2/2009 10:07:34 PM   
kttqnp


Posts: 118
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline 		I always heard that you should leave the vacuum cleaner out at all times....that makes it look as though you are in the middle of cleaning, should anyone be foolish enough to stop by unannounced.  Of course, if there's dust ON the vacuum cleaner, that might blow your cover.  Mine's out right now, hmmm. 

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/2/2009 10:40:26 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
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Status: offline 		Nah, just leave out a bunch of butt plugs and anal beads and lube bottles, it will look like you were way too busy to give a shit about anything.

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"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/2/2009 11:40:28 PM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

Nah, just leave out a bunch of butt plugs and anal beads and lube bottles, it will look like you were way too busy to give a shit about anything.

ROFL, Vendeval! I find that a few floggers, a set of cuffs, and 50' of rope is enough to get the landlord to leave ASAP


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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/2/2009 11:42:27 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
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Status: offline 		I have friends who used that tactic when the landlord wanted to sell their condo!

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/3/2009 12:39:25 AM   
soul2share


Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline 		The rule in my mom's house is now "you can write in the dust, just dont DATE it!".  This was always more for the grandkids.....but hey, it works for me!

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/3/2009 5:47:43 AM   
kttqnp


Posts: 118
Joined: 1/21/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Nah, just leave out a bunch of butt plugs and anal beads and lube bottles, it will look like you were way too busy to give a shit about anything.


I can see where I am going wrong....

as I join those who need a new keyboard after spitting out their beverage of choice all over it....

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/3/2009 7:05:50 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		My place is looking so bad I may need some sympathy cards instead of get well ones...

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/3/2009 7:09:52 AM   
Marc2b


Posts: 6660
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline 		You folks need to get what I have - a sister who is a borderline obsessive/compulsive neat freak.  I invite her over for pizza once a month and get my whole apartment cleaned.  

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/3/2009 7:11:16 AM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
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From: South Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kttqnp

I always heard that you should leave the vacuum cleaner out at all times....that makes it look as though you are in the middle of cleaning, should anyone be foolish enough to stop by unannounced.  Of course, if there's dust ON the vacuum cleaner, that might blow your cover.  Mine's out right now, hmmm. 

Which is why you keep a light sheet on top of the vacuum cleaner!  When the doorbell rings, throw the sheet in a bunch on the floor and it looks like you've been vacuuming AND doing laundry!!


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A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/3/2009 7:13:26 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: kttqnp

I always heard that you should leave the vacuum cleaner out at all times....that makes it look as though you are in the middle of cleaning, should anyone be foolish enough to stop by unannounced.  Of course, if there's dust ON the vacuum cleaner, that might blow your cover.  Mine's out right now, hmmm. 

Which is why you keep a light sheet on top of the vacuum cleaner!  When the doorbell rings, throw the sheet in a bunch on the floor and it looks like you've been vacuuming AND doing laundry!!

if i might add...if you get at least 5 minutes notice that you are being invaded, put a few drops of Murphy's oil soap in a pot of boiling water. It makes the house smell clean.


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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/3/2009 9:39:49 AM   
Rainfire


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Joined: 1/5/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

if i might add...if you get at least 5 minutes notice that you are being invaded, put a few drops of Murphy's oil soap in a pot of boiling water. It makes the house smell clean.


  And you know this from personal experience?

(I always used the cinnamon sticks and cloves in boiling water personally.....)


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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/3/2009 9:49:06 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Cinnamon sticks here, too! 

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/4/2009 10:07:20 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I answer my door with a whip in hand. It gets a better reaction than cinnamon sticks.

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RE: OMFG!!!! This is GOLD!!!! - 6/4/2009 11:55:52 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I answer my door with a whip in hand. It gets a better reaction than cinnamon sticks.


Ray...you lil shit!!


<---scampers off for paper towels


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GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
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